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Downloaded from
YTS.MX

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<i>[triumphant music]</i>

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[cheers and applause]

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<i>- Ladies and gentlemen,</i>

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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX

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<i>Chris Redd!</i>

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<i>- I don't know why</i>
<i>I'm like this, nigga.</i>

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I'm trying to
figure it out, bro.

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I really am.
I'm trying to figure out

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why I'm like this shit,
you know.

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I'm in therapy right now.

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I thought therapy
was for White people.

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I saw you trying to
clap for therapy.

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Go ahead, girl.

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[cheers and applause]
Go ahead, girl.

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Oh, y'all late.
Y'all late.

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Nigga, stop.
Y'all late.

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You left this woman by herself.

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She was clapping
with confidence,

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like, oh I'm the only one,
bitch? Damn.

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I thought therapy
was for White people.

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I ain't gonna lie to y'all.

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I thought it was for you,
White people.

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I thought it was--
mm, triggered, y'all.

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I thought it was you.

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And then I got a little money.

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I took my first vacation.
I realized,

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oh, it's for people
with money and time.

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White people just
had that first.

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Sneaky motherfuckers.
I swear to God.

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I knew I had a problem,
I knew I needed something.

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I needed somebody to
talk to 'cause I was

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living the best day
of my life,

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and I was having
the worst time.

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I always told myself
if I made a little money,

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I was gonna relive
a day in my life

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like Jay-Z's "Big Pimpin'"
video.

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"Big Pimpin'" is about
one man, Jay-Z.

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He's out there with his best
friends in Miami

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or wherever
the fuck they were at,

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and they were having a blast.

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They had boats, yachts,

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money, champagne,
booty everywhere.

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And I love booty,

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especially
when it's everywhere.

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I mean, champagne, yeah,
everything dawg.

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So I was like, I wanna do
that, and that's what I did.

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I got my first TV check,
and I flew all my homies

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out there dawg,
and no one tells you

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how expensive that is.

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Jay-Z didn't rap about
that shit one time, nigga.

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You should have told me how
much it cost to fly niggas

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who are in between jobs
to Miami.

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I did it anyway.
Regretted it so much.

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But they got all out there.
Man, we had money.

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We had champagne.

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We had booty everywhere.

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Like, not as much
booty as Jay-Z had.

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He has a lot of money
for a long time.

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This is my first check, fam.
Come on, chill.

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I had half the
booty everywhere.

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I didn't have all of it.

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And it wasn't half
booties, though.

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They were full booties,
just half the people.

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It wasn't like one
woman was sitting there

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with one cheek working
on the next cheek,

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you know what I'm saying?

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Although we do
support progress, so--

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Anyway, we're
having a great time.

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We had a yacht. At least
I think it was a yacht.

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I'm from a landlocked state,
bitch.

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I don't know
boats like that.

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But it had yacht energy, nigga.

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I called it a yacht

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until somebody was like,
this ain't a yacht,

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it's a boat, and I was like,
walk the plank, bitch.

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You know?
Nah, nigga, fuck that.

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And I pushed his ass off.
He ain't never been back.

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I ain't never seen him again.
He's in the ocean now.

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Champagne, money everywhere,
booty.

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I'm crying hard,
and that is not what

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Jay-Z did in the video at all.

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You don't even have
to have seen the video

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to know Jay-Z didn't do that.

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I don't know if
you've ever cried

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next to a woman twerking
with all her might,

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but it's not cool looking.

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[crying]

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Go ahead, girl.
[mimics smack]

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Meanwhile,

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what's wrong with him?

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Soon as we docked, bro, I had
to see what was going on.

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I had to talk to
my White friends.

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I'm like, how you find
a therapist?

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They're like, well, sometimes
you gotta go through a few

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until you find the one
that's right for you.

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It's like dating.
I'm like, OK,

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well what if
I find a Black therapist,

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someone who can speak
to my life experience,

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you know what I mean?

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And I tell them all my
deepest and darkest shit

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and then all of a
sudden we break up,

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'cause that's what
happens in relationships,

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and then I gotta see
this nigga at a barbecue

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or a kickback,

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and he telling all the hoes

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I'm crazy about a potato salad.

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I don't need that
kind of pressure.

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So I picked Deborah,

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White as hell, 75,
hair on her chin.

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She don't know nobody I know.

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You can have all
my secrets, Deborah.

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I'm triggered as hell,
my nigga.

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We do not run in the same
circles, me and Deborah.

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My circle:
rappers, degenerates.

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Her circle: dead, probably.
I don't know.

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I don't know who that
lady hanging out with.

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Shit, she's 75,
I don't know,

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Joe Biden,
Benjamin Franklin,

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I don't know.

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Deborah's my nigga,
she just can't say it back.

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I don't care how close we get.

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I don't care how many
breakthroughs I have.

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Watch your mouth, Deborah.

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Sometimes I like to
end our sessions,

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you know, just keeping
her on her toes,

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you know what I mean?

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Sometimes I'm like, hey
Deborah, hey, before you go,

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you my nigga, dawg.

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She's like, ha ha!

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And you're my client.

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Don't forget to Venmo, player.

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Always about the money with
this motherfucker, man.

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All my therapy sessions
have been over Zoom.

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So I don't know if my
therapist has legs.

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Now I assume she has legs,

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because everybody in my life
has legs.

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But I also know there's
a legless community,

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because I'm not ignorant.

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Wake up.

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I love telling
White people to wake up.

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Especially when
they're already awake.

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You ever try to tell somebody
to sit down

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00:05:29,704 --> 00:05:32,707
when they're on their way
to sitting down?

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Me and my friends used to
do each other all the time.

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As soon as I was sitting down,
they'd be like,

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sit your ass down.
I'm like, nigga,

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I stand up forever!
Fuck you!

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'Cause I started therapy in
the middle of the pandemic,

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man, and it was crazy.

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I'm glad we all get to
kind of be in the same room

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again to kind of get back
to a sense of normalcy, bro.

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[cheers and applause]
For real.

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And by normalcy, I mean
getting back to remembering

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there's other ways to die.

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Because COVID had it
locked down, my nigga.

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Like, it was locked.
For two years straight,

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it was COVID death,
COVID death,

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COVID death,
to the point where I saw

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a dude die from a car crash,
I was like, good for him.

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You know what I mean?

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Truly, man.

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There's no visual proof
that Deborah has legs, dawg.

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She's never walked
into a Zoom ever.

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That's not Zoom etiquette.

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Everybody who got
a Zoom starts settled.

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That's Zoom etiquette.
You start settled.

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I've never started a Zoom with
my dick in the camera like,

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oh shit, my bad y'all.

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My bad y'all.

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Never.

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I tried to trick her one time.
I got smart one day.

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I tried to trick her like
somebody was in a house

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so she'd get up to go check.

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I was like, damn, ooh Deborah,
somebody in your house.

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She's like,
ain't nobody back there.

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Fuck!

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Just tell me if you
have legs bitch, damn.

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I meet her in three weeks for
the first time in real life,

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and if she don't have legs, I
have to act like I knew that.

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And you know what that means.
You know we've all been

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in a situation where you
show up and somebody

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got some shit you ain't expect.

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You know the rules.

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Full eye contact.
Don't look down.

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Don't even use your legs
until she uses her legs.

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If y'all ordered chicken
together--

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breasts only, nigga.

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And my therapist
can't stand that joke.

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And I think it's 'cause
that bitch don't got legs,

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you know what I'm saying?

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Don't high five that!

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What's wrong with you?

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Wow! Wow!

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Man, that's the
equivalent of us

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walking on a slave ship
thinking it's a cruise,

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you know what I mean?

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Deborah's the first person
to tell me I had anxiety.

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I have ADHD, anxiety,
and depression,

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00:07:59,812 --> 00:08:02,481
[audience member hooting]
and I'm--

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First of all, I didn't
know we had a gang.

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What a wild gang that would be.

203
00:08:16,412 --> 00:08:20,333
ADHD, nigga!
I can't focus on shit!

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Nigga, you can never finish
a fight, niggas can't focus.

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00:08:41,979 --> 00:08:45,983
Thank you for making me
feel better about that.

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Deborah was the first
person to tell me

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I had anxiety, first person.

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She was like, Chris, after
talking to you for a while,

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I think what you
suffer from is anxiety.

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And then I said,

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say something
else about me, bitch!

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Fuck you think this is?

213
00:09:00,873 --> 00:09:02,917
Fuck you think this is,
Deborah?

214
00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:04,585
She said, deflecting.

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00:09:04,669 --> 00:09:08,089
I'm like, you right.

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Damn, bitch,
you good at this.

217
00:09:15,179 --> 00:09:17,348
She told me one of my triggers
was passive aggression.

218
00:09:17,431 --> 00:09:18,766
I don't like
passive aggression.

219
00:09:18,849 --> 00:09:20,601
Mean what you say.
Say what you mean.

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00:09:20,685 --> 00:09:22,061
I don't like passive
aggression at all,

221
00:09:22,144 --> 00:09:24,021
and I worked a lot of jobs.
[applause]

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A lot of victims
of passive aggression.

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A lot of office jobs--

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Yes.

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No, for real, and it runs
rampant in office jobs.

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White people, y'all know
'cause y'all the masters

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of passive aggression.

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Y'all love being
the masters of stuff.

229
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Anyway--

230
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I didn't write history, nigga.

231
00:09:49,755 --> 00:09:52,216
So I was working at
this Office Max right,

232
00:09:52,300 --> 00:09:54,927
and it got so
passive aggressive.

233
00:09:55,011 --> 00:09:56,554
At one point I stood
up and I was like,

234
00:09:56,637 --> 00:09:59,140
I'd rather go back
to selling crack

235
00:10:00,808 --> 00:10:05,104
than deal with this passive
aggressive bullshit y'all on.

236
00:10:05,187 --> 00:10:07,648
And I know that's crazy
to yell at your job

237
00:10:07,732 --> 00:10:10,693
or anywhere ever,

238
00:10:10,776 --> 00:10:13,154
but for that brief moment
I meant that shit.

239
00:10:13,237 --> 00:10:15,072
'Cause, listen, there's a lot
of risks to selling crack,

240
00:10:15,156 --> 00:10:17,408
all right, like other gangsters
selling crack,

241
00:10:17,491 --> 00:10:20,453
police looking for people
selling crack,

242
00:10:20,536 --> 00:10:23,414
math, but--

243
00:10:23,497 --> 00:10:26,834
the thing you do not
ever have to worry about

244
00:10:26,917 --> 00:10:28,252
is passive aggression.

245
00:10:28,336 --> 00:10:29,670
I've never met a passive
aggressive drug dealer

246
00:10:29,754 --> 00:10:31,255
or gangster in my life.

247
00:10:31,339 --> 00:10:32,673
I've never been selling
drugs in a rival gangster's

248
00:10:32,757 --> 00:10:34,383
territory and he walks up like,

249
00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:36,844
[laughs derisively]

250
00:10:39,972 --> 00:10:45,102
I guess we sell drugs
wherever we want to these days.

251
00:10:45,186 --> 00:10:49,231
Oh, no, do your thing, playa.
[laughs]

252
00:10:49,315 --> 00:10:51,734
Check your email, nigga.

253
00:10:54,278 --> 00:10:56,489
I've never seen that
a day in my life.

254
00:10:59,158 --> 00:11:01,327
Is this your lady right here?
- Yeah.

255
00:11:01,410 --> 00:11:03,245
- How long y'all been together?

256
00:11:03,329 --> 00:11:05,706
- 15 years.
[cheers and applause]

257
00:11:05,790 --> 00:11:07,291
I love love, man.

258
00:11:07,375 --> 00:11:09,710
So, how'd y'all meet?

259
00:11:18,177 --> 00:11:21,931
- So just to recap,

260
00:11:22,014 --> 00:11:23,599
I asked this nigga,
where'd y'all meet?

261
00:11:23,682 --> 00:11:27,728
He's like,
we met at a, uh...uh...

262
00:11:27,812 --> 00:11:30,189
a party.

263
00:11:30,272 --> 00:11:32,483
Sound like an orgy to me.

264
00:11:35,111 --> 00:11:38,697
Hey girl, where you from?

265
00:11:38,781 --> 00:11:41,742
Shit, you know where
I'm from, brother.

266
00:11:41,826 --> 00:11:43,953
Shit, we should talk later.

267
00:11:44,036 --> 00:11:46,080
One second.
[grunting]

268
00:11:46,163 --> 00:11:47,706
Morphin' time.

269
00:11:49,875 --> 00:11:52,795
I don't know why I
thought when you cum

270
00:11:52,878 --> 00:11:55,423
you yell like a Power Ranger.

271
00:11:59,969 --> 00:12:02,680
My parents been
together for 40 years.

272
00:12:02,763 --> 00:12:05,433
I think that's
the accurate number.

273
00:12:07,393 --> 00:12:08,602
Thank you for clapping.

274
00:12:08,686 --> 00:12:09,770
I'll let them know you did.

275
00:12:09,854 --> 00:12:11,564
I had nothing to do with it.

276
00:12:11,647 --> 00:12:13,232
I've been trying to
break 'em up for years.

277
00:12:13,315 --> 00:12:14,984
No, I'm playing.

278
00:12:16,402 --> 00:12:17,653
No, it's cool.
We just never

279
00:12:17,736 --> 00:12:19,280
talked about mental health.

280
00:12:19,363 --> 00:12:20,865
We never talked about that
type of shit, you know.

281
00:12:20,948 --> 00:12:22,408
So I knew I had
a lot of resentment

282
00:12:22,491 --> 00:12:23,868
and I knew I was gonna
come back to them, right?

283
00:12:23,951 --> 00:12:25,494
I had spent some time
with Deborah.

284
00:12:25,578 --> 00:12:27,204
I had to have tough
conversations with my parents.

285
00:12:27,288 --> 00:12:28,664
And I called them,
and I just knew they wasn't

286
00:12:28,747 --> 00:12:30,082
gonna be ready for this.

287
00:12:30,166 --> 00:12:31,459
I was like, hey,

288
00:12:31,542 --> 00:12:33,043
we gon have
some tough conversations,

289
00:12:33,127 --> 00:12:35,129
'cause I got a lot of
built up resentment,

290
00:12:35,212 --> 00:12:36,505
and we need to work through it.

291
00:12:36,589 --> 00:12:38,299
So y'all better be ready.

292
00:12:38,382 --> 00:12:43,345
You ever been mad expecting
somebody to push back,

293
00:12:43,429 --> 00:12:45,848
and they don't at all?

294
00:12:47,349 --> 00:12:50,269
They were like, whenever
you're ready to talk,

295
00:12:50,352 --> 00:12:52,188
we're ready to listen.

296
00:12:52,271 --> 00:12:53,564
I'm already mad, nigga.

297
00:12:53,647 --> 00:12:55,441
I've decided I'm mad.

298
00:12:55,524 --> 00:12:57,651
I'm like, what?

299
00:12:59,778 --> 00:13:01,197
They're like, whenever
you're ready to talk,

300
00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:02,781
we're ready to have
the tough conversations.

301
00:13:02,865 --> 00:13:06,577
I'm like, nigga, what the
fuck is going right now?

302
00:13:07,578 --> 00:13:09,538
And I couldn't stop
being mad, so now

303
00:13:09,622 --> 00:13:11,040
we're just talking
about regular shit

304
00:13:11,123 --> 00:13:12,291
and I sound mad as hell.

305
00:13:12,374 --> 00:13:13,501
I'm like,
so what y'all cooking later?

306
00:13:13,584 --> 00:13:16,003
You know what I mean, just--

307
00:13:18,797 --> 00:13:21,342
I would always lose complain
offs with my friends.

308
00:13:21,425 --> 00:13:23,469
Always, 'cause I had two
parents, you know what I mean?

309
00:13:23,552 --> 00:13:25,179
If you don't know what
a complain off is,

310
00:13:25,262 --> 00:13:27,431
a complain off is when you're
sitting in a circle with

311
00:13:27,515 --> 00:13:30,684
your friends and all y'all are
complaining about your life

312
00:13:30,768 --> 00:13:34,063
until some sad motherfucker
wins,

313
00:13:34,146 --> 00:13:36,148
and everybody's like,
yeah, nigga, that's fucked up.

314
00:13:36,232 --> 00:13:37,858
You take it.

315
00:13:37,942 --> 00:13:39,610
But they lose, too, 'cause they
have to go back to that life

316
00:13:39,693 --> 00:13:41,737
after the game over.

317
00:13:41,820 --> 00:13:44,615
Don't know why we
played this game.

318
00:13:44,698 --> 00:13:46,033
I would always lose, man.

319
00:13:46,116 --> 00:13:47,660
My cousin Trey
would always come in like,

320
00:13:47,743 --> 00:13:49,078
Chris you don't know shit about
struggle, dawg,

321
00:13:49,161 --> 00:13:50,454
you got two parents, my nigga.

322
00:13:50,538 --> 00:13:52,081
Like, I ain't even
know my dad, my nigga,

323
00:13:52,164 --> 00:13:53,999
and my mom had to work
three jobs and shit, dawg.

324
00:13:54,083 --> 00:13:56,252
So it was me raising
me and my fucking

325
00:13:56,335 --> 00:13:58,337
sisters and brothers since
I was 10 years old, Chris.

326
00:13:58,420 --> 00:13:59,588
You don't know shit about that.

327
00:13:59,672 --> 00:14:01,674
And I was like, fair.

328
00:14:03,175 --> 00:14:05,886
We weren't even talking
about that, dawg.

329
00:14:05,970 --> 00:14:07,429
We were in here playing
"Mario Kart"

330
00:14:07,513 --> 00:14:09,598
'cause we are children.

331
00:14:13,852 --> 00:14:15,229
But it ain't always sweet.

332
00:14:15,312 --> 00:14:16,564
You ever have two people
not believe in your

333
00:14:16,647 --> 00:14:18,440
dreams equally?

334
00:14:18,524 --> 00:14:20,276
You have one person like,
you ain't going to be shit.

335
00:14:20,359 --> 00:14:21,860
Somebody else already libs,
sure ain't.

336
00:14:21,944 --> 00:14:24,363
That's fucked up.

337
00:14:24,446 --> 00:14:27,032
People think I'm living
my dream right now.

338
00:14:27,116 --> 00:14:29,410
Like, what was your
dream as a kid?

339
00:14:29,493 --> 00:14:31,036
What's your name?

340
00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:33,539
- Carter, what do
you do right now?

341
00:14:34,623 --> 00:14:37,293
- You're a surgeon?
- Wow.

342
00:14:37,376 --> 00:14:42,298
[applause]

343
00:14:42,381 --> 00:14:44,883
- Now are you a single surgeon?

344
00:14:46,302 --> 00:14:47,803
- Not for long.

345
00:14:47,886 --> 00:14:50,681
[laughter, applause]

346
00:14:50,764 --> 00:14:54,143
As soon as this nigga said
surgeon, pussy got wet.

347
00:14:54,226 --> 00:14:56,061
Ooh!

348
00:14:56,145 --> 00:14:57,855
Oh, damn.

349
00:14:57,938 --> 00:15:00,190
I got a cut right here.

350
00:15:07,239 --> 00:15:09,450
When you were a kid,
what was your kid dream?

351
00:15:10,701 --> 00:15:13,037
- You wanna do this?
You wanna talk shit?

352
00:15:15,539 --> 00:15:17,416
But your parents
like you're a surgeon?

353
00:15:20,919 --> 00:15:22,254
- You just sucked at this?

354
00:15:22,338 --> 00:15:23,505
- So you were like,
I'm gonna just

355
00:15:23,589 --> 00:15:25,716
put people together, then.

356
00:15:28,093 --> 00:15:29,511
He's like, knock, knock.
Who's there?

357
00:15:29,595 --> 00:15:32,056
A surgeon, I guess
'cause I suck at this.

358
00:15:35,142 --> 00:15:36,477
That's fire, man.

359
00:15:36,560 --> 00:15:40,606
I mean, your backup
plan was an amazing job.

360
00:15:42,858 --> 00:15:46,195
This nigga looking
like he sad, nigga.

361
00:15:46,278 --> 00:15:49,948
This nigga be cutting
people up to Donell Jones.

362
00:15:52,701 --> 00:15:56,538
♪ Where I wanna be ♪

363
00:15:57,414 --> 00:16:00,250
[vocalizing]

364
00:16:03,170 --> 00:16:05,547
People think I'm living
my dream right now, man,

365
00:16:05,631 --> 00:16:06,632
'cause I'm on "SNL."

366
00:16:06,715 --> 00:16:08,300
People think I'm
living my dream.

367
00:16:08,384 --> 00:16:11,512
[cheers and applause]

368
00:16:15,849 --> 00:16:17,685
I'm living White
people's dreams.

369
00:16:17,768 --> 00:16:21,730
See, I know I'm having a great
time, but y'all love "SNL"

370
00:16:21,814 --> 00:16:22,898
on a different level.

371
00:16:22,981 --> 00:16:24,566
White people love "SNL"
in a way

372
00:16:24,650 --> 00:16:26,402
that, like, if there was a flag
to put on your house

373
00:16:26,485 --> 00:16:28,362
you would have it

374
00:16:28,445 --> 00:16:33,325
with, like, the years that you
actually watched the show.

375
00:16:33,409 --> 00:16:35,911
'Cause only White "SNL"
fans run up to me like,

376
00:16:35,994 --> 00:16:37,538
ooh, you're living
your dream, Chris!

377
00:16:37,621 --> 00:16:39,456
And I'm like,
first of all get off me.

378
00:16:39,540 --> 00:16:42,042
Second of all, dream?

379
00:16:42,126 --> 00:16:43,168
Chill.

380
00:16:43,252 --> 00:16:45,003
I'm grateful.
I'm very blessed.

381
00:16:45,087 --> 00:16:46,130
It's changed my life,

382
00:16:46,213 --> 00:16:47,464
but dream?

383
00:16:47,548 --> 00:16:52,428
You think I be 5'6"
in my dreams?

384
00:16:52,511 --> 00:16:53,721
Nigga, no.

385
00:16:53,804 --> 00:16:56,265
I be 6'10" with wings.

386
00:16:56,348 --> 00:17:00,769
Same size dick,
fucking in the sky.

387
00:17:00,853 --> 00:17:02,771
That's a dream.

388
00:17:02,855 --> 00:17:05,816
No, my first dream was to
be a basketball player.

389
00:17:05,899 --> 00:17:08,694
Do you know how
good you gotta be

390
00:17:08,777 --> 00:17:11,947
at 5'6" to make it to the NBA

391
00:17:12,030 --> 00:17:17,911
only to be remembered as the
little nigga that survived?

392
00:17:17,995 --> 00:17:19,329
What kind of legacy is that?

393
00:17:19,413 --> 00:17:21,123
Muggsy Bogues--
- Yup.

394
00:17:21,206 --> 00:17:22,458
- Uh-huh, yup. You said yup.

395
00:17:22,541 --> 00:17:23,625
You don't know
one motherfuckin' stat

396
00:17:23,709 --> 00:17:25,127
about Muggsy Bogues.

397
00:17:25,210 --> 00:17:26,837
All you know is that
little nigga made it.

398
00:17:26,920 --> 00:17:29,131
And that's fucked up.

399
00:17:29,214 --> 00:17:30,674
That's fucked up.

400
00:17:30,758 --> 00:17:33,886
Now add on top of
that the fact that I'm

401
00:17:33,969 --> 00:17:37,639
not good at basketball.

402
00:17:37,723 --> 00:17:40,768
Some would say it's
an impossible task.

403
00:17:40,851 --> 00:17:43,979
Then my parents gonna move us
to the motherfuckin' suburbs.

404
00:17:44,062 --> 00:17:45,564
So I'm in a White high school

405
00:17:45,647 --> 00:17:48,108
playing with these
racists who think I'm good

406
00:17:48,192 --> 00:17:49,568
just 'cause I'm Black.

407
00:17:49,651 --> 00:17:52,571
I felt like Rosa Parks,
Martin Luther King.

408
00:17:52,654 --> 00:17:55,282
Because the stereotype was
niggas can play basketball.

409
00:17:55,365 --> 00:17:58,744
Well, I was there to show
them not every one of us.

410
00:18:00,162 --> 00:18:03,665
[cheers and applause]

411
00:18:03,749 --> 00:18:05,834
I swear to God I was
sitting there bro,

412
00:18:05,918 --> 00:18:07,419
and I was sitting there
waiting to get picked.

413
00:18:07,503 --> 00:18:09,087
They picked me first.
They were like, you.

414
00:18:09,171 --> 00:18:11,381
I'm like, you're
going to regret that.

415
00:18:13,467 --> 00:18:15,511
Right before the game started
I was like, hike,

416
00:18:15,594 --> 00:18:18,263
just to fuck 'em up,
you know what I mean? Just to--

417
00:18:20,474 --> 00:18:23,435
I was terrible
at that shit, man.

418
00:18:23,519 --> 00:18:25,687
I remember asking my dad
for a basketball hoop.

419
00:18:25,771 --> 00:18:27,689
He was like, nigga, for what?

420
00:18:29,733 --> 00:18:31,026
Because I want to
play basketball.

421
00:18:31,109 --> 00:18:33,403
Nigga, for who?

422
00:18:33,487 --> 00:18:35,197
The NBA.
What that stand for?

423
00:18:35,280 --> 00:18:36,907
No, Boy, Ah-uh.

424
00:18:42,371 --> 00:18:44,373
The dream I chased a long
time was being a rapper.

425
00:18:44,456 --> 00:18:46,625
From 10 to 23, no one
could tell me I wasn't

426
00:18:46,708 --> 00:18:47,876
gonna be a rapper, bro.

427
00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:50,212
Nobody could tell
me except time.

428
00:18:50,295 --> 00:18:54,424
Time told me pretty abruptly.

429
00:18:54,508 --> 00:18:56,385
I appreciate it so much,
'cause I still write

430
00:18:56,468 --> 00:18:58,428
and all that shit,
but a lot of what I did there

431
00:18:58,512 --> 00:19:00,138
helps me what I do now.

432
00:19:00,222 --> 00:19:02,349
But some stuff doesn't
cross over, you know?

433
00:19:02,432 --> 00:19:03,934
Like how you hold the mic.

434
00:19:04,017 --> 00:19:05,936
This is a very
comedic way to hold

435
00:19:06,019 --> 00:19:07,396
a motherfucking microphone.

436
00:19:07,479 --> 00:19:09,398
Y'all know by the way
I'm holding this mic

437
00:19:09,481 --> 00:19:11,441
that some jokes is coming,
but if I was to

438
00:19:11,525 --> 00:19:13,318
hold the mic like this,

439
00:19:13,402 --> 00:19:16,238
that's a different
motherfucking energy, nigga.

440
00:19:16,321 --> 00:19:18,073
You ever been to
a Walgreens, bitch?

441
00:19:18,156 --> 00:19:20,325
Like, no one needs that.

442
00:19:22,661 --> 00:19:23,954
The other thing
that's different

443
00:19:24,037 --> 00:19:25,372
is the way we talk
to our haters.

444
00:19:25,455 --> 00:19:26,874
Now there's some
similarities, you know.

445
00:19:26,957 --> 00:19:30,544
Battle rap and roasting,
pretty much aligned.

446
00:19:30,627 --> 00:19:32,796
But rap is always
cooler about shit, you know.

447
00:19:32,880 --> 00:19:34,423
The first time I heard
a rapper address a hater

448
00:19:34,506 --> 00:19:36,258
was at the beginning of a song,
it was Biggie.

449
00:19:36,341 --> 00:19:38,302
He was like, this for the
third grade teacher

450
00:19:38,385 --> 00:19:39,928
who said I would never be shit,

451
00:19:40,012 --> 00:19:41,430
and I thought that was dope.

452
00:19:41,513 --> 00:19:42,973
I would do that all the
time on my rap tracks.

453
00:19:43,056 --> 00:19:44,266
Like, this is for the
motherfuckers who said I

454
00:19:44,349 --> 00:19:45,726
would never be shit in music.

455
00:19:45,809 --> 00:19:47,060
But see my haters
were right, and that's

456
00:19:47,144 --> 00:19:49,563
a very different rap song.

457
00:19:50,856 --> 00:19:52,608
You know, this is for
all the people who said I

458
00:19:52,691 --> 00:19:54,484
would never be shit in music.

459
00:19:54,568 --> 00:19:57,446
Y'all nailed that, damn.

460
00:19:57,529 --> 00:19:59,323
Crazy.
I wanted to be a gangster.

461
00:19:59,406 --> 00:20:00,782
Man, I asked my
big cousin, Trey,

462
00:20:00,866 --> 00:20:02,409
come on, cuz, I wanna
be in the game.

463
00:20:02,492 --> 00:20:03,911
He's like, all right, man,
I'ma introduce you

464
00:20:03,994 --> 00:20:05,579
to my homie Chino.

465
00:20:05,662 --> 00:20:07,122
If he think you're good, he's
going to get you some shit.

466
00:20:07,205 --> 00:20:08,290
But if you don't
sell all that dawg,

467
00:20:08,373 --> 00:20:09,625
it's gon' be a problem.

468
00:20:09,708 --> 00:20:11,084
I'm like, I could
sell anything.

469
00:20:11,168 --> 00:20:12,669
I can sell water to a whale.

470
00:20:12,753 --> 00:20:15,672
This is a kid who has
never seen a whale before.

471
00:20:16,840 --> 00:20:18,634
So we get there to
Chino's house, right.

472
00:20:18,717 --> 00:20:20,260
We're sitting in Chino's house.

473
00:20:20,344 --> 00:20:22,012
Chino has a gun all
the time, you know.

474
00:20:22,095 --> 00:20:23,847
And I was like, hey what's
up, Chino, how are you doing.

475
00:20:23,931 --> 00:20:25,849
He's like, ain't no
shake hands, my nigga.

476
00:20:25,933 --> 00:20:27,309
So you're trying
to sell that shit?

477
00:20:27,392 --> 00:20:28,769
I'm like, yeah.

478
00:20:28,852 --> 00:20:30,228
Like, all right, I'ma
give you this.

479
00:20:30,312 --> 00:20:32,272
If you don't sell
all that...

480
00:20:32,356 --> 00:20:33,982
[imitates gunshot]

481
00:20:34,066 --> 00:20:36,652
And I looked at my big
cousin like, obviously you're

482
00:20:36,735 --> 00:20:41,365
not gonna let him cap me

483
00:20:41,448 --> 00:20:44,159
And he was like, mm?
I'm like that's not the res--

484
00:20:44,242 --> 00:20:46,119
No, wait!

485
00:20:46,203 --> 00:20:48,246
But I was too confident, and
I also had the shit to prove.

486
00:20:48,330 --> 00:20:49,998
I lived in the suburbs.
I had to commute to the hood.

487
00:20:50,082 --> 00:20:52,793
That is not a gangster
way to travel.

488
00:20:53,919 --> 00:20:55,712
I was sitting on the
train like, we gon'

489
00:20:55,796 --> 00:20:58,131
be there in a minute.

490
00:21:00,884 --> 00:21:02,594
And I went and sold crack
for one week.

491
00:21:02,678 --> 00:21:04,096
I sold a lot of drugs.

492
00:21:04,179 --> 00:21:05,764
I sold weed.
I was pretty good at that

493
00:21:05,847 --> 00:21:08,850
till I started smoking
most of it.

494
00:21:08,934 --> 00:21:10,352
And I sold crack for one week.

495
00:21:10,435 --> 00:21:11,687
You know, I had to
get out the game.

496
00:21:11,770 --> 00:21:15,357
You gotta like
who you work with.

497
00:21:15,440 --> 00:21:17,067
I don't know if you know
this, but crack heads?

498
00:21:17,150 --> 00:21:19,361
Unpredictable, you know?

499
00:21:21,029 --> 00:21:22,781
I was in high school, nigga.
I had homework.

500
00:21:22,864 --> 00:21:24,032
I had shit to do.

501
00:21:24,116 --> 00:21:26,868
These niggas don't have stuff.

502
00:21:26,952 --> 00:21:28,662
I sold one bag to
this crackhead,

503
00:21:28,745 --> 00:21:29,997
and he was like, thank you.

504
00:21:30,080 --> 00:21:31,456
I closed the door.
This nigga said,

505
00:21:31,540 --> 00:21:34,418
ding dong, nigga.

506
00:21:36,044 --> 00:21:37,838
I'm like, dawg,
I just sold it to you.

507
00:21:37,921 --> 00:21:39,214
He's like, mm-mm,
that was another man.

508
00:21:39,298 --> 00:21:42,050
No, it wasn't.

509
00:21:42,134 --> 00:21:44,302
It was you.
Also, I don't have a doorbell.

510
00:21:44,386 --> 00:21:47,806
Why are you just
saying ding dong?

511
00:21:47,889 --> 00:21:50,058
But I remember bringing
that shit back to him.

512
00:21:50,142 --> 00:21:51,727
I brought all the crack back.

513
00:21:51,810 --> 00:21:53,270
And my nigga,
from the trenches,

514
00:21:53,353 --> 00:21:55,480
you know that's not
how drug dealing works.

515
00:21:57,816 --> 00:21:59,484
Crack don't come with
a receipt, nigga.

516
00:21:59,568 --> 00:22:01,486
You can't bring it back.

517
00:22:01,570 --> 00:22:02,904
Bro, I brought that shit back.

518
00:22:02,988 --> 00:22:05,866
I set it down on the table
like, hey, Chino,

519
00:22:05,949 --> 00:22:08,410
here you go.

520
00:22:08,493 --> 00:22:12,247
I sold a little bit, and
that's what I got from that.

521
00:22:14,666 --> 00:22:17,127
I'm out the game, Chino.

522
00:22:19,838 --> 00:22:23,258
There's not a piece of
crack missing from that.

523
00:22:23,341 --> 00:22:24,593
I didn't even
talk like a nigger

524
00:22:24,676 --> 00:22:26,887
who knew how to sell drugs.

525
00:22:26,970 --> 00:22:30,599
He's like hey, yo,
sorry, but, like, you know

526
00:22:30,682 --> 00:22:31,808
what has to happen now.

527
00:22:31,892 --> 00:22:33,435
He stood up.
I stood up.

528
00:22:33,518 --> 00:22:35,103
He showed me the pistol.

529
00:22:35,187 --> 00:22:36,438
It was sitting in there.

530
00:22:36,521 --> 00:22:38,482
I was like, uh, come on,
Chino, it's right there.

531
00:22:38,565 --> 00:22:40,025
You can just sell
that shit yourself.

532
00:22:40,108 --> 00:22:43,987
No, no, nigga. I told you.
[imitates gunshot]

533
00:22:44,071 --> 00:22:45,947
I'm like, but what if we don't
[imitates gunshot], nigga?

534
00:22:46,031 --> 00:22:48,033
What if we do
something different?

535
00:22:48,116 --> 00:22:49,618
He's like, no,
turn around, nigga.

536
00:22:49,701 --> 00:22:52,496
I'm like, no.

537
00:22:52,579 --> 00:22:55,123
Absolutely not, 'cause listen.
This is a tense moment.

538
00:22:55,207 --> 00:22:56,708
If I'm about to
get shot, I'm not

539
00:22:56,792 --> 00:22:58,960
about to fuckin' turn around.

540
00:22:59,044 --> 00:23:01,671
No, nigga you have to--
nigga, hit me.

541
00:23:01,755 --> 00:23:03,048
Hit me, nigga.

542
00:23:03,131 --> 00:23:05,842
Hope you can shoot
a moving target, nigga.

543
00:23:07,761 --> 00:23:09,346
So he's like, turn around.
I'm like, no.

544
00:23:09,429 --> 00:23:10,972
Turn around!
No!

545
00:23:11,056 --> 00:23:14,643
Then he pulled the gun out.
It was just the handle.

546
00:23:14,726 --> 00:23:16,436
I'm like, Chino.
He's like, that's why

547
00:23:16,520 --> 00:23:20,232
I wanted you to turn around,
so I can go get my real gun.

548
00:23:20,315 --> 00:23:21,358
He ran to get his real gun.

549
00:23:21,441 --> 00:23:22,943
I ran home to my grandma house.

550
00:23:23,026 --> 00:23:24,486
I got to grandma's house.
He knocked on the door.

551
00:23:24,569 --> 00:23:26,154
My grandma came out
with a Desert Eagle.

552
00:23:26,238 --> 00:23:27,614
She was like, Chino, take
your little bitch ass home.

553
00:23:27,697 --> 00:23:30,325
You better be in
church tomorrow.

554
00:23:31,326 --> 00:23:35,288
And that joke is about
women's strength, really.

555
00:23:35,372 --> 00:23:38,959
[cheers and applause]

556
00:23:45,257 --> 00:23:48,468
Oh, man, I wanted to
be a gangster so bad.

557
00:23:48,552 --> 00:23:53,348
I love the way like weed is
right now bro, edible-wise.

558
00:23:53,431 --> 00:23:57,227
Like, I know Saint Louis,
y'all in that gray area.

559
00:23:57,310 --> 00:23:59,354
Y'all in that gray
area right now, right?

560
00:23:59,437 --> 00:24:01,773
It's jus--Chicago,
we was in that gray area

561
00:24:01,857 --> 00:24:06,153
a long time, the gray area
is terrible for us,

562
00:24:06,236 --> 00:24:09,990
Black people, because you
gotta know where you stand,

563
00:24:10,073 --> 00:24:11,449
and that gray area is weird.

564
00:24:11,533 --> 00:24:14,661
It's like, it's
decriminalized but illegal.

565
00:24:14,744 --> 00:24:17,414
Then what the fuck
do I do, nigga?

566
00:24:18,707 --> 00:24:20,292
See, right now you could
be like, whoop-whoop. Uh-oh!

567
00:24:20,375 --> 00:24:24,754
Hide the weed, I think.
You know what I mean?

568
00:24:24,838 --> 00:24:26,381
Like, you--
ohh, you in trouble.

569
00:24:26,464 --> 00:24:29,843
Am I going to jail?
You're not not going to jail.

570
00:24:31,303 --> 00:24:32,721
Can I go home?
You can't.

571
00:24:32,804 --> 00:24:34,598
Well--mm-mm.

572
00:24:35,974 --> 00:24:38,727
It's a weird place to be at
man, especially because weed

573
00:24:38,810 --> 00:24:40,896
is the edibles game right now.

574
00:24:40,979 --> 00:24:44,065
We in the Jetsons as far as
edibles are concerned, dawg.

575
00:24:44,149 --> 00:24:47,569
The technological advancements
of weed is fire, bro.

576
00:24:47,652 --> 00:24:49,112
Are you kidding me?

577
00:24:49,196 --> 00:24:51,072
You can have any snack
you like with weed in it.

578
00:24:51,156 --> 00:24:52,991
That's crazy.
Chocolate chip cookie--

579
00:24:53,074 --> 00:24:54,242
tastes like
a chocolate chip cookie.

580
00:24:54,326 --> 00:24:56,369
Weed is in there.
Nigga, how?

581
00:24:56,453 --> 00:24:58,580
Surgeon?

582
00:24:59,789 --> 00:25:01,791
Shit's amazing,
'cause I come from an era

583
00:25:01,875 --> 00:25:04,669
where you had to buy weed
cookies from a grown man

584
00:25:04,753 --> 00:25:07,547
that does not bake.

585
00:25:10,008 --> 00:25:11,593
Y'all ever had to
walk in a trap house

586
00:25:11,676 --> 00:25:14,095
and buy weed cookies from
a grown gangster making cookies

587
00:25:14,179 --> 00:25:16,431
for the first time?

588
00:25:16,514 --> 00:25:19,142
Yo, these gonna be good
as hell, my nigga.

589
00:25:19,226 --> 00:25:22,145
No they not, Marcus.
That's a macaroni pie.

590
00:25:23,563 --> 00:25:25,982
That is not how you
make cookies, dawg.

591
00:25:26,066 --> 00:25:28,026
Yeah, I ate them.
I'm paying for that weed.

592
00:25:28,109 --> 00:25:29,569
Of course I'm gonna
eat those cookies,

593
00:25:29,653 --> 00:25:31,863
but they were terrible.

594
00:25:31,947 --> 00:25:33,114
They taste nasty.

595
00:25:33,198 --> 00:25:34,366
And like old macaroni.

596
00:25:34,449 --> 00:25:37,285
You ain't cleaned the pot?

597
00:25:37,369 --> 00:25:39,913
My teeth were green like I was
eating lawnmower clippings.

598
00:25:39,996 --> 00:25:43,375
I'm high, but at
what cost, ma'am?

599
00:25:47,045 --> 00:25:50,215
They taste good,
that also causes a problem.

600
00:25:50,298 --> 00:25:52,133
Because, see,
a nigga like me,

601
00:25:52,217 --> 00:25:53,760
I like to get high
in the TSA line,

602
00:25:53,843 --> 00:25:55,262
especially when it's busy,
'cause by the time

603
00:25:55,345 --> 00:25:57,389
I get on the plane,
they kicking in.

604
00:25:57,472 --> 00:25:59,516
Plane taking off,
I'm taking off,

605
00:25:59,599 --> 00:26:02,018
we all getting high together,

606
00:26:02,102 --> 00:26:03,436
you know what I'm saying?

607
00:26:03,520 --> 00:26:06,064
[cheers and applause]

608
00:26:06,147 --> 00:26:08,900
You know?

609
00:26:08,984 --> 00:26:11,194
I'm building community.

610
00:26:12,779 --> 00:26:14,656
So sometimes I finish
my snack cookie.

611
00:26:14,739 --> 00:26:16,992
I remember I was like,
mmm, snack cookie done.

612
00:26:17,075 --> 00:26:18,702
Reach in my bag,
get my weed cookie.

613
00:26:18,785 --> 00:26:20,870
Then I pulled out an unopened
package of snack cookies,

614
00:26:20,954 --> 00:26:22,330
and I was like, what?

615
00:26:22,414 --> 00:26:23,999
How are y'all still here?
Is this "Inception"?

616
00:26:24,082 --> 00:26:26,209
'Cause I just ate you niggas.

617
00:26:26,293 --> 00:26:28,169
And then I realized
I was talking

618
00:26:28,253 --> 00:26:31,006
to fuckin' cookies,

619
00:26:31,089 --> 00:26:34,801
telltale sign you must
be high as a motherfucker.

620
00:26:34,884 --> 00:26:36,886
So I became a detective
and I reached in my bag

621
00:26:36,970 --> 00:26:38,555
to pull out the evidence,
see how much

622
00:26:38,638 --> 00:26:42,017
weed I ate by accident,
and it said 550 milligrams.

623
00:26:43,268 --> 00:26:46,229
Oh, some of y'all
do weed math, too.

624
00:26:49,316 --> 00:26:52,694
If you don't, it's a lot,
motherfucker.

625
00:26:52,777 --> 00:26:56,323
I lost my heartbeat
for five minutes straight.

626
00:26:56,406 --> 00:26:57,949
Could not find that bitch.
Ohh!

627
00:26:58,033 --> 00:27:00,452
Where's the beat, nigga?
Where's the beat?

628
00:27:00,535 --> 00:27:02,203
I was like a deaf
rapper in the booth.

629
00:27:02,287 --> 00:27:03,621
Nigga, where's the beat?

630
00:27:03,705 --> 00:27:05,999
I can't find the beat.

631
00:27:06,082 --> 00:27:08,376
I asked the dude behind me
what my heart beat was, dawg.

632
00:27:08,460 --> 00:27:11,254
Like, where's my heartbeat at,
yo?

633
00:27:11,338 --> 00:27:12,797
That boy was saying, huh?

634
00:27:12,881 --> 00:27:16,509
It's 6:45 in the morning.

635
00:27:16,593 --> 00:27:17,802
I turn back around
like, he don't know

636
00:27:17,886 --> 00:27:19,846
where my heartbeat at.

637
00:27:19,929 --> 00:27:21,681
Like it was his fault.

638
00:27:21,765 --> 00:27:23,725
I was losing my
fuckin' mind, dawg.

639
00:27:23,808 --> 00:27:25,727
I was getting higher
by the second,

640
00:27:25,810 --> 00:27:26,978
and I was just seeing shit.

641
00:27:27,062 --> 00:27:28,563
I got all type
of shit going on.

642
00:27:28,646 --> 00:27:31,900
My ADHD got me paying
attention to dumb shit.

643
00:27:31,983 --> 00:27:33,735
I saw the motherfucking
dawg come around.

644
00:27:33,818 --> 00:27:35,111
I know this nigga
sniffs for bombs,

645
00:27:35,195 --> 00:27:36,488
but I'm thinking
this thing's gonna get up

646
00:27:36,571 --> 00:27:39,783
on two hind legs like,
that nigga high.

647
00:27:45,997 --> 00:27:48,958
Ruff. You know, like dogs do.

648
00:27:53,588 --> 00:27:55,298
My anxiety is like, nigga
what if they find out

649
00:27:55,382 --> 00:27:58,426
about everything you ever did?

650
00:27:58,510 --> 00:27:59,636
How?

651
00:27:59,719 --> 00:28:01,304
And my depression's
like, hey nigga,

652
00:28:01,388 --> 00:28:03,431
remember the last time
you cried in the bathtub?

653
00:28:03,515 --> 00:28:04,891
Like, no.

654
00:28:04,974 --> 00:28:06,726
I never cry in the bathtub.
Nigga, I was crying

655
00:28:06,810 --> 00:28:08,186
and I got in the tub
eventually, nigga.

656
00:28:08,269 --> 00:28:12,315
That's different.

657
00:28:12,399 --> 00:28:13,942
But then I started
talking to myself.

658
00:28:14,025 --> 00:28:16,152
We've all been too high before,
or the people that

659
00:28:16,236 --> 00:28:17,946
are in here who've been high.

660
00:28:18,029 --> 00:28:19,572
You know what it is.

661
00:28:19,656 --> 00:28:21,032
You got to talk to yourself
nigga, like an adult.

662
00:28:21,116 --> 00:28:22,784
Like hey, hey,
come on motherfucker!

663
00:28:22,867 --> 00:28:25,662
Come on!

664
00:28:25,745 --> 00:28:28,623
Come on, nigga! Come on.

665
00:28:28,706 --> 00:28:31,126
You are Christopher Redd.

666
00:28:33,420 --> 00:28:37,715
You've been high before,
thousands of times.

667
00:28:37,799 --> 00:28:40,135
Get yourself together.

668
00:28:41,761 --> 00:28:43,221
This ain't the
first time, nigga.

669
00:28:43,304 --> 00:28:45,014
Be normal.

670
00:28:46,724 --> 00:28:49,227
Be normal!

671
00:28:49,310 --> 00:28:50,979
You know what normal
people don't do?

672
00:28:51,062 --> 00:28:53,440
Yell, be normal, to yourself

673
00:28:53,523 --> 00:28:56,818
in a fucking airport.

674
00:28:56,901 --> 00:28:59,028
Because I thought I was
thinking this shit, my nigga.

675
00:28:59,112 --> 00:29:01,239
I thought I was really
up here with it.

676
00:29:01,322 --> 00:29:02,866
No.

677
00:29:02,949 --> 00:29:06,327
I yelled, be normal, bro.

678
00:29:06,411 --> 00:29:08,830
Be normal!

679
00:29:08,913 --> 00:29:10,457
The dude in front of
me was like, what?

680
00:29:10,540 --> 00:29:12,959
I was like, me, me. Mm-mm.

681
00:29:16,504 --> 00:29:18,840
I'm bugging, bro.
I'm losing my shit.

682
00:29:18,923 --> 00:29:22,343
Then the line starts moving,
and my head goes crazy.

683
00:29:22,427 --> 00:29:23,970
Oh, shit, line moving, nigga.

684
00:29:24,053 --> 00:29:27,265
Walk normal.
Walk normal!

685
00:29:30,935 --> 00:29:32,604
Yo, say, hi.
Good morning.

686
00:29:32,687 --> 00:29:34,272
Hi. Good morning.

687
00:29:34,355 --> 00:29:35,273
Hi.

688
00:29:35,356 --> 00:29:36,524
Nigga, you are not a Nazi.

689
00:29:36,608 --> 00:29:39,694
What are you doing?

690
00:29:39,777 --> 00:29:43,448
But I did that for 35 minutes.

691
00:29:43,531 --> 00:29:44,866
I said, what's up,
good morning,

692
00:29:44,949 --> 00:29:49,579
to the same motherfucker
35 times.

693
00:29:49,662 --> 00:29:52,415
Yo, but the last time
I said that shit bro,

694
00:29:52,499 --> 00:29:55,543
last time I said this shit this
motherfucker lost his mind.

695
00:29:55,627 --> 00:29:58,838
He was like, it's not
a good morning no more, dawg!

696
00:30:01,257 --> 00:30:03,092
But I was too high.
I didn't even know

697
00:30:03,176 --> 00:30:04,844
I was the cause of his anger,
nigga.

698
00:30:04,928 --> 00:30:08,681
I saw him do that and I was
like, damn, he stressed out.

699
00:30:10,517 --> 00:30:12,018
He need a cookie.

700
00:30:14,145 --> 00:30:15,939
I was high as shit.
So normal things

701
00:30:16,022 --> 00:30:18,566
that annoy me--
which is a lot of things--

702
00:30:18,650 --> 00:30:20,026
were annoying me even more.

703
00:30:20,109 --> 00:30:22,779
Plane was delayed.
Fuckin' hate plane delays.

704
00:30:22,862 --> 00:30:24,697
No, why I hate 'em? Not just
'cause you have to wait,

705
00:30:24,781 --> 00:30:27,575
not 'cause it just pushes
your schedule, because it's

706
00:30:27,659 --> 00:30:29,202
the hypocrisy in it.

707
00:30:29,285 --> 00:30:32,121
Like, if we all were late to
our flights, what happens?

708
00:30:32,205 --> 00:30:34,749
That motherfucker is gone.

709
00:30:34,832 --> 00:30:37,585
But if the pilot's late,
we just

710
00:30:37,669 --> 00:30:41,256
sitting in there eating chips
on a dirty fucking carpet.

711
00:30:41,339 --> 00:30:43,550
And I've never seen
a pilot rush.

712
00:30:43,633 --> 00:30:46,302
I've never seen a late pilot
be like, oh,

713
00:30:46,386 --> 00:30:48,596
I'm so sorry, y'all.
[panting]

714
00:30:48,680 --> 00:30:51,224
I slept in.
My bad.

715
00:30:51,307 --> 00:30:52,684
Never.
They always walk calmly,

716
00:30:52,767 --> 00:30:54,018
like, thank you
for your patience.

717
00:30:54,102 --> 00:30:55,270
Bitch, I'd knock
your ass out if you

718
00:30:55,353 --> 00:30:56,896
don't fly this goddamn plane.

719
00:30:58,314 --> 00:31:00,650
Thank you for your patience.
I don't have a choice.

720
00:31:02,527 --> 00:31:04,028
So I remember
they came through.

721
00:31:04,112 --> 00:31:05,989
We finally got on the goddamn
plane, man,

722
00:31:06,072 --> 00:31:08,283
and the pilot get on,

723
00:31:08,366 --> 00:31:11,953
uh, thank you for
choosing Delta Airlines.

724
00:31:12,036 --> 00:31:16,082
Uh, just spoke to tower, says
we're 10th in line to take off.

725
00:31:16,165 --> 00:31:18,626
It's gonna be about
an hour and a half wait.

726
00:31:18,710 --> 00:31:21,004
Sorry for the further
delay, and thank you

727
00:31:21,087 --> 00:31:22,755
again for your patience.

728
00:31:22,839 --> 00:31:24,674
If we have any updates,
we'll update you.

729
00:31:24,757 --> 00:31:26,968
Thank you again
for choosing Delta.

730
00:31:27,051 --> 00:31:29,804
And I was upset.
I was high.

731
00:31:29,887 --> 00:31:33,391
So the first thing that came
out was, fuck tower, nigga.

732
00:31:36,394 --> 00:31:39,606
Fuck that nigga, tower, dawg.

733
00:31:39,689 --> 00:31:41,983
Now I know that's the job,
you know what I'm saying?

734
00:31:42,066 --> 00:31:45,778
But for once, I want
a pilot for the people.

735
00:31:45,862 --> 00:31:47,488
I want a pilot to
get on the intercom,

736
00:31:47,572 --> 00:31:50,992
be like, uh, thank you for
choosing Delta Airlines.

737
00:31:51,075 --> 00:31:52,660
Uh, this is your captain
speaking.

738
00:31:52,744 --> 00:31:54,078
Just spoke to tower.

739
00:31:54,162 --> 00:31:55,705
We're about 10th in
line to take off.

740
00:31:55,788 --> 00:31:58,625
It's gonna be about
an hour and a half wait.

741
00:31:58,708 --> 00:32:00,335
Tower doesn't realize
I'm a real nigga

742
00:32:00,418 --> 00:32:03,046
and I do real things all day.

743
00:32:03,129 --> 00:32:04,589
We'll be in the
air in five minutes

744
00:32:04,672 --> 00:32:06,007
'cause I don't play that shit.
Fuck all that.

745
00:32:06,090 --> 00:32:09,260
West Side!
Buh! Buh! Buh! Buh! Buh!

746
00:32:10,428 --> 00:32:11,763
He's hanging out the plane.

747
00:32:11,846 --> 00:32:14,182
Move, motherfucker, I'm next.

748
00:32:14,265 --> 00:32:16,225
Sometimes he don't
even land all the way.

749
00:32:16,309 --> 00:32:17,727
He just hover like,
yo, jump out.

750
00:32:17,810 --> 00:32:21,189
You're going to Kansas.

751
00:32:21,272 --> 00:32:24,692
That's the pilot
I wanna die with.

752
00:32:24,776 --> 00:32:28,363
Oh, you die with that nigga.

753
00:32:28,446 --> 00:32:30,490
- Try United!
- Say what?

754
00:32:32,617 --> 00:32:34,452
- United?
Who said that?

755
00:32:34,535 --> 00:32:36,371
You said try United?

756
00:32:36,454 --> 00:32:38,956
Do you think that
was my problem?

757
00:32:43,461 --> 00:32:47,090
Do you think I just never
switched up airlines, nigga?

758
00:32:47,173 --> 00:32:49,175
Like, oh, Delta,
please do right.

759
00:32:49,258 --> 00:32:51,511
But I'm not in
a bad relationship.

760
00:32:55,056 --> 00:32:57,809
Delta, do right by me.

761
00:32:57,892 --> 00:32:59,477
Delta!

762
00:33:02,855 --> 00:33:05,191
When you were a kid,
what'd you want to be?

763
00:33:06,442 --> 00:33:08,236
- She ain't have no dreams.

764
00:33:08,319 --> 00:33:11,406
- First of all, what's
very funny about this is

765
00:33:11,489 --> 00:33:13,157
I asked her that, and before
she could answer it

766
00:33:13,241 --> 00:33:15,785
this nigga here said,
she ain't got no dreams.

767
00:33:36,431 --> 00:33:37,849
Whoo!

768
00:33:43,604 --> 00:33:45,606
That's the kind of hate
I can get behind, nigga.

769
00:33:45,690 --> 00:33:47,775
That's lewd.

770
00:33:47,859 --> 00:33:49,777
What?

771
00:33:49,861 --> 00:33:53,740
I ain't never heard
a nigga, from afar,

772
00:33:53,823 --> 00:33:56,951
hear somebody say
some shit and be like,

773
00:33:57,034 --> 00:33:59,495
that bitch ain't got no dreams.

774
00:34:08,212 --> 00:34:09,756
The only thing that
would make that better

775
00:34:09,839 --> 00:34:10,840
if I asked you what you do,

776
00:34:10,923 --> 00:34:13,342
you was like, a sleep doctor.

777
00:34:15,762 --> 00:34:17,096
What do you do, bro?

778
00:34:18,264 --> 00:34:19,474
- You're an
admissions counselor?

779
00:34:19,557 --> 00:34:21,267
- Yeah.

780
00:34:21,350 --> 00:34:23,102
- You must be fucking--

781
00:34:23,186 --> 00:34:24,145
Hey, hey, hold on.

782
00:34:24,228 --> 00:34:27,315
You must be brutal, nigga.

783
00:34:27,398 --> 00:34:28,816
Hey, what's up man?

784
00:34:28,900 --> 00:34:30,067
So what you coming
to college for, man?

785
00:34:30,151 --> 00:34:31,444
I wanna be a lawyer.
Mm-mm.

786
00:34:31,527 --> 00:34:33,613
No, you don't.

787
00:34:42,371 --> 00:34:44,457
You ever tried janitor?

788
00:34:47,418 --> 00:34:50,296
So the plane's
taking off, right?

789
00:34:58,262 --> 00:35:02,350
Yeah we're having
fun in here for sure.

790
00:35:02,433 --> 00:35:04,519
So the plane's taking off.
I'm taking off.

791
00:35:04,602 --> 00:35:06,312
'Cause we all know if
you've ever been too high,

792
00:35:06,395 --> 00:35:07,939
there's a moment where
you start to come down.

793
00:35:08,022 --> 00:35:09,357
You think you're coming
down right before it gets

794
00:35:09,440 --> 00:35:10,900
way the fuck worse.

795
00:35:10,983 --> 00:35:13,069
So I'm having that moment
as we're taking off as I

796
00:35:13,152 --> 00:35:14,529
planned, so I'm feeling good.

797
00:35:14,612 --> 00:35:15,905
I feel like I'm
floating, dawg, you know?

798
00:35:15,988 --> 00:35:17,740
I'm like, oh man,
this is amazing.

799
00:35:17,824 --> 00:35:21,077
But I was doing
this in real life.

800
00:35:21,160 --> 00:35:23,079
I don't know if
you've ever done this shit

801
00:35:23,162 --> 00:35:27,875
next to a person on a plane,
but they don't like it.

802
00:35:27,959 --> 00:35:29,377
Dude sitting next to
me was the same dude

803
00:35:29,460 --> 00:35:30,878
lost his mind in the TSA line.

804
00:35:30,962 --> 00:35:33,798
He's like, yo what is
wrong with you, man?

805
00:35:33,881 --> 00:35:35,466
And I couldn't be
nothing but honest.

806
00:35:35,550 --> 00:35:38,553
I was like, damn nigga,
you can see that?

807
00:35:38,636 --> 00:35:41,722
I thought that was how
I felt, nigga, my bad.

808
00:35:41,806 --> 00:35:43,057
But that wasn't even
the highest thing

809
00:35:43,140 --> 00:35:44,684
I did on that flight, bro.

810
00:35:44,767 --> 00:35:46,227
Because at one point I
stopped the flight attendant

811
00:35:46,310 --> 00:35:49,063
to ask her where
the plane is landing.

812
00:35:49,146 --> 00:35:52,108
Do you know how high
you gotta be

813
00:35:52,191 --> 00:35:54,235
to ask a flight attendant

814
00:35:54,318 --> 00:35:57,530
where the plane is landing,
casually,

815
00:35:57,613 --> 00:36:00,116
like you're asking for peanuts?

816
00:36:00,199 --> 00:36:01,659
'Cause I did it.
I stopped like,

817
00:36:01,742 --> 00:36:02,743
hey, excuse me ma'am.

818
00:36:02,827 --> 00:36:05,163
Where's the plane landing?

819
00:36:05,246 --> 00:36:08,249
And she looked at me
for a long time.

820
00:36:08,332 --> 00:36:10,710
She's like, what?

821
00:36:10,793 --> 00:36:11,961
Then I clarified.

822
00:36:12,044 --> 00:36:14,797
The plane--where is it landing?

823
00:36:14,881 --> 00:36:17,091
I clarified the plane,
like that was

824
00:36:17,174 --> 00:36:19,427
the problem with the question.

825
00:36:19,510 --> 00:36:21,262
And she was like, Utah, sir.

826
00:36:21,345 --> 00:36:23,806
Nigga, for what?
Who's there?

827
00:36:25,391 --> 00:36:26,809
And I was scared
for real, niggas.

828
00:36:26,893 --> 00:36:29,604
I ain't know what
the fuck a Utah was.

829
00:36:29,687 --> 00:36:31,731
As a Black man that
travels the world,

830
00:36:31,814 --> 00:36:33,441
you gotta know what
kind of White people

831
00:36:33,524 --> 00:36:34,775
are gonna be
in a place because

832
00:36:34,859 --> 00:36:37,278
of history at any point ever.

833
00:36:37,361 --> 00:36:39,614
Read a book, you know?

834
00:36:41,741 --> 00:36:43,326
So then I hit my friend up.

835
00:36:43,409 --> 00:36:45,745
I was like, yo, I'm going to
Utah to do some shows man.

836
00:36:45,828 --> 00:36:47,288
What's the vibe like out there?

837
00:36:47,371 --> 00:36:50,333
And then he was like,
don't give up.

838
00:36:53,002 --> 00:36:55,004
Fuck are you talking about?
I'm going to do shows.

839
00:36:55,087 --> 00:36:57,840
He's like, nigga for who?
Who's out there?

840
00:36:57,924 --> 00:36:59,300
So he didn't help.

841
00:36:59,383 --> 00:37:01,010
So I got out there and I
realized who's out there,

842
00:37:01,093 --> 00:37:02,762
you know what I'm saying?

843
00:37:02,845 --> 00:37:04,430
I met different types of
people that I had never met

844
00:37:04,513 --> 00:37:07,350
in my life before in person.

845
00:37:09,435 --> 00:37:13,105
Meth heads, and I had never
seen a meth head in person.

846
00:37:13,189 --> 00:37:17,985
Only in "Breaking Bad" and
Netflix documentaries,

847
00:37:18,069 --> 00:37:22,615
which I think
was just "Breaking Bad."

848
00:37:22,698 --> 00:37:24,367
Very different for me.

849
00:37:24,450 --> 00:37:28,162
Chicago, we have some of the
best crackheads in the world.

850
00:37:28,245 --> 00:37:30,331
If there was an Olympic
games for crackheads,

851
00:37:30,414 --> 00:37:33,000
we'd win every year
for events like

852
00:37:33,084 --> 00:37:34,335
leaning but never falling.

853
00:37:34,418 --> 00:37:36,170
You know what I'm saying?

854
00:37:36,253 --> 00:37:38,798
You ever seen a crackhead
almost fall for 15 minutes?

855
00:37:38,881 --> 00:37:40,299
That shit is amazing.

856
00:37:40,383 --> 00:37:42,843
Nigga, look at
the nigga ankles.

857
00:37:42,927 --> 00:37:46,389
Oh, the strength in that nigga
ankles, he going for the gold.

858
00:37:51,102 --> 00:37:53,521
A meth head was a completely
different experience.

859
00:37:53,604 --> 00:37:56,107
First of all,
they were mostly White.

860
00:37:56,190 --> 00:37:59,360
I was like, whoa.
Second of all,

861
00:37:59,443 --> 00:38:00,653
it was a different high.

862
00:38:00,736 --> 00:38:02,071
He was like, yo,
give me a dollar brother.

863
00:38:02,154 --> 00:38:03,280
And before I could
get the dollar out

864
00:38:03,364 --> 00:38:07,034
he took off running full speed.

865
00:38:07,118 --> 00:38:08,744
I was confused.

866
00:38:08,828 --> 00:38:15,042
I'm like how do you
get the dollar, fam?

867
00:38:15,126 --> 00:38:16,711
Are you gonna lap
back around the block?

868
00:38:16,794 --> 00:38:18,379
I don't understand.

869
00:38:18,462 --> 00:38:20,423
And then I saw him later
trying to lift

870
00:38:20,506 --> 00:38:22,758
a Nissan Altima
with his bare hands.

871
00:38:23,801 --> 00:38:26,887
So it's a different
kind of drug.

872
00:38:26,971 --> 00:38:32,601
And Mormons and like--what?

873
00:38:32,685 --> 00:38:34,895
Like, I know they got
a book on Broadway,

874
00:38:34,979 --> 00:38:37,606
but them niggas different.

875
00:38:37,690 --> 00:38:39,317
That shit crazy to me.

876
00:38:39,400 --> 00:38:40,609
OK, so a Mormon comic came

877
00:38:40,693 --> 00:38:42,111
to pick me up
from the airport, right.

878
00:38:42,194 --> 00:38:43,487
So we had a good
conversation about Mormonism,

879
00:38:43,571 --> 00:38:47,658
'cause I had
never cared before.

880
00:38:47,742 --> 00:38:49,744
Oh, I know you all care
about everything, nigga.

881
00:38:49,827 --> 00:38:51,787
I can't.

882
00:38:51,871 --> 00:38:53,456
I ain't got the time.

883
00:38:53,539 --> 00:38:55,416
We had a good conversation
about it man, you know?

884
00:38:55,499 --> 00:38:58,252
And he was like, well we
can't have sex until marriage.

885
00:38:58,335 --> 00:39:02,048
I'm like damn, that sucks
'cause sex is dope.

886
00:39:02,131 --> 00:39:04,008
And he's like,
well there are loopholes.

887
00:39:04,091 --> 00:39:05,926
And that's when I said,

888
00:39:06,010 --> 00:39:09,096
what?

889
00:39:09,180 --> 00:39:12,433
He's like, there are loopholes.
Oh, I heard what you said.

890
00:39:12,516 --> 00:39:14,143
I just don't know
what that means, fam.

891
00:39:14,226 --> 00:39:15,519
And he was like,
well, Jesus says

892
00:39:15,603 --> 00:39:16,937
you can't have
sex with a vagina,

893
00:39:17,021 --> 00:39:18,564
but no one said
anything about the butt.

894
00:39:18,647 --> 00:39:24,278
And then that's when I said,
whose Jesus is this?

895
00:39:24,361 --> 00:39:28,449
Not my Jesus.
You got a ratchet Jesus, sir.

896
00:39:28,532 --> 00:39:30,910
Your Jesus is from New Jersey.

897
00:39:33,537 --> 00:39:36,248
Your Jesus came back on Monday,

898
00:39:36,332 --> 00:39:38,834
a day late, with an open robe
and some frantic energy.

899
00:39:38,918 --> 00:39:41,128
Whoo! It got crazy
up there, saints.

900
00:39:41,212 --> 00:39:42,755
Sorry about that.
Anyway, water to wine.

901
00:39:42,838 --> 00:39:45,549
Fuck that butt. See you
on Christmas, all right?

902
00:39:45,633 --> 00:39:47,885
It's your boy!

903
00:39:55,434 --> 00:39:57,144
How long have y'all
been together?

904
00:39:57,895 --> 00:39:58,979
- 10 months?

905
00:39:59,063 --> 00:40:01,565
Oh, that's fresh as hell.

906
00:40:01,649 --> 00:40:03,317
I don't fuck with
couples under a year,

907
00:40:03,400 --> 00:40:04,652
you know what I'm saying?

908
00:40:04,735 --> 00:40:06,779
Anything can break
you niggas up.

909
00:40:08,739 --> 00:40:10,783
How did y'all meet?

910
00:40:12,201 --> 00:40:14,954
- Your friend's Tinder?

911
00:40:15,037 --> 00:40:17,581
- It was your face,
but her Tinder?

912
00:40:17,665 --> 00:40:22,002
So your friend was
catfishing with your face,

913
00:40:22,086 --> 00:40:24,130
and she tried to catfish
this nigga and you were like,

914
00:40:24,213 --> 00:40:25,381
mm, I got this bitch.

915
00:40:25,464 --> 00:40:28,175
Move out the way.

916
00:40:28,259 --> 00:40:31,345
I love love. I really do, man.
I really love love a lot.

917
00:40:31,428 --> 00:40:33,139
I think about my
parents all the time.

918
00:40:33,222 --> 00:40:34,849
It's probably why I love love,
because I've seen two people

919
00:40:34,932 --> 00:40:36,350
in love, you know what I mean?

920
00:40:36,433 --> 00:40:41,480
And I think you ask anyone
in love, they're like,

921
00:40:41,564 --> 00:40:43,732
well, the thing is
communication and loyalty.

922
00:40:43,816 --> 00:40:46,360
But I also think a major
part of being in love

923
00:40:46,443 --> 00:40:47,820
for a long time is pettiness.

924
00:40:47,903 --> 00:40:51,699
You need a masterful
amount of pettiness

925
00:40:51,782 --> 00:40:53,367
in a relationship
in a good one.

926
00:40:53,451 --> 00:40:55,202
Because I've seen
good couples outside.

927
00:40:55,286 --> 00:40:57,705
Only good couples can do shit
like fight in the morning

928
00:40:57,788 --> 00:40:59,456
and still go out that
same day 'cause you

929
00:40:59,540 --> 00:41:02,710
already bought tickets.

930
00:41:02,793 --> 00:41:05,754
You know what I'm saying?

931
00:41:05,838 --> 00:41:08,424
We've seen these couples
outside at Olive Gardens

932
00:41:08,507 --> 00:41:09,717
and Olive Gardens,

933
00:41:09,800 --> 00:41:12,469
mostly Olive Gardens.

934
00:41:14,346 --> 00:41:17,349
I worked at an Olive Garden.

935
00:41:19,101 --> 00:41:20,978
But you always see 'em--
Fuck you! Fuck you!

936
00:41:21,061 --> 00:41:23,689
Table for two, please.

937
00:41:23,772 --> 00:41:26,442
It's my only day off.
Don't embarrass me in here.

938
00:41:28,277 --> 00:41:30,613
Shit's real, bro.
I really think that.

939
00:41:30,696 --> 00:41:33,741
I think the worst love story of
all time is "Romeo and Juliet."

940
00:41:33,824 --> 00:41:35,409
I think that's
the worst, Whitest

941
00:41:35,492 --> 00:41:37,369
love story of all time.

942
00:41:37,453 --> 00:41:38,829
My family doesn't
like your family.

943
00:41:38,913 --> 00:41:41,957
Let's kill ourselves.
Nigga, what?

944
00:41:42,041 --> 00:41:44,418
That's some bullshit.
I've been in real love, man.

945
00:41:44,501 --> 00:41:46,086
Families don't get along
all the fuckin' time.

946
00:41:46,170 --> 00:41:47,588
You don't go home and end it.

947
00:41:47,671 --> 00:41:50,090
That's insane, you
immature motherfucker.

948
00:41:50,174 --> 00:41:51,759
I've been in real love.
My girl had to come home

949
00:41:51,842 --> 00:41:53,260
like, let's kill ourselves
for love.

950
00:41:53,344 --> 00:41:56,805
I'd be like--
[chuckles]

951
00:41:56,889 --> 00:41:59,016
You go first.

952
00:41:59,099 --> 00:42:01,769
I'm right behind you.
The poison's right here. Ahh!

953
00:42:03,270 --> 00:42:04,647
That wouldn't work out.

954
00:42:04,730 --> 00:42:06,023
I'm Black in America
you know what I mean?

955
00:42:06,106 --> 00:42:07,691
Cops show up.
She dead, I'm not.

956
00:42:07,775 --> 00:42:09,652
How that look?

957
00:42:09,735 --> 00:42:11,612
You're saying she
killed herself, sir?

958
00:42:11,695 --> 00:42:13,906
For love, Officer.

959
00:42:16,200 --> 00:42:17,785
Heard of it?

960
00:42:17,868 --> 00:42:18,953
Why you ain't kill yourself?

961
00:42:19,036 --> 00:42:21,622
Someone has to tell our story.

962
00:42:21,705 --> 00:42:23,791
I will not be forgotten.

963
00:42:23,874 --> 00:42:26,460
In this story, I do have hair.

964
00:42:30,881 --> 00:42:33,676
You should never hit a woman.
Transition.

965
00:42:37,054 --> 00:42:39,390
Smooth as shit.

966
00:42:41,100 --> 00:42:43,269
I believe that firmly.
You should never hit a woman.

967
00:42:43,352 --> 00:42:45,980
I've been raised
to believe that,

968
00:42:46,063 --> 00:42:47,690
and I agreed when I grew up.

969
00:42:47,773 --> 00:42:49,358
Another thing I agree
with we don't understand,

970
00:42:49,441 --> 00:42:52,861
though, is my dad
always said, now, Son,

971
00:42:52,945 --> 00:42:56,073
when you walk with a woman
outside after a date you walk

972
00:42:56,156 --> 00:42:57,992
on the outside
closest to the street,

973
00:42:58,075 --> 00:42:59,243
she walks on the inside.

974
00:42:59,326 --> 00:43:01,161
Because that's
what gentlemen do.

975
00:43:01,245 --> 00:43:03,205
Because just in case
a car jumps the curb,

976
00:43:03,289 --> 00:43:06,458
you can stop it with your
love or some dumb shit.

977
00:43:06,542 --> 00:43:08,544
It don't make no sense.

978
00:43:08,627 --> 00:43:10,546
Even if I was getting
robbed on the street,

979
00:43:10,629 --> 00:43:12,464
they're not coming from
my side to be polite.

980
00:43:12,548 --> 00:43:14,008
That's insane.

981
00:43:14,091 --> 00:43:15,801
But I do it anyway.
I don't understand.

982
00:43:15,884 --> 00:43:18,095
But that's how
raising works, right?

983
00:43:18,178 --> 00:43:20,097
Your parents instill some
shit, and you get older

984
00:43:20,180 --> 00:43:23,267
and you're like,
mm-hmm, I still agree.

985
00:43:23,350 --> 00:43:25,311
I would never do that,
not built like that,

986
00:43:25,394 --> 00:43:27,021
I would never even
think about it,

987
00:43:27,104 --> 00:43:28,939
even though I have met some
women where I was like,

988
00:43:29,023 --> 00:43:29,857
I get it.

989
00:43:29,940 --> 00:43:31,859
But I would never do it.

990
00:43:31,942 --> 00:43:33,444
I would never do it.

991
00:43:33,527 --> 00:43:34,695
I promise you, I've thrown
people out of my life

992
00:43:34,778 --> 00:43:36,238
for this shit, bro, for real.

993
00:43:36,322 --> 00:43:37,698
Like I had a cousin and
one of my best friends

994
00:43:37,781 --> 00:43:39,450
I had to throw
out my life, bro.

995
00:43:39,533 --> 00:43:40,868
I had to pull him off his
girlfriend several times.

996
00:43:40,951 --> 00:43:42,661
Our last conversation
I was like,

997
00:43:42,745 --> 00:43:44,204
dawg, if you keep doing this
shit I can't be around you,

998
00:43:44,288 --> 00:43:45,748
can't associate myself
with you at all.

999
00:43:45,831 --> 00:43:47,458
He was like, Chris I know
I got a problem, man.

1000
00:43:47,541 --> 00:43:49,293
It's just sometimes she
just makes me so mad, dawg,

1001
00:43:49,376 --> 00:43:51,920
and so I throw her in traffic.

1002
00:43:54,923 --> 00:43:56,884
Nigga, what?

1003
00:43:56,967 --> 00:43:59,219
You wanna throw
her in traffic?

1004
00:43:59,303 --> 00:44:03,140
That's crazy, my nigga.

1005
00:44:03,223 --> 00:44:06,518
Because traffic is still.

1006
00:44:09,355 --> 00:44:11,231
You not even
hurting her, nigga.

1007
00:44:11,315 --> 00:44:12,983
She's just in the way.

1008
00:44:14,026 --> 00:44:15,361
How you bad and dumb?

1009
00:44:15,444 --> 00:44:17,780
Get the fuck out
of my house, dawg.

1010
00:44:17,863 --> 00:44:19,239
I hate that shit, bro.

1011
00:44:19,323 --> 00:44:21,575
I'll tell you the story.
So we were in Chicago.

1012
00:44:21,658 --> 00:44:23,077
Negative 20 degrees,

1013
00:44:23,160 --> 00:44:25,454
broad nighttime.

1014
00:44:28,499 --> 00:44:30,250
We were both drunk.
I was driving.

1015
00:44:30,334 --> 00:44:32,044
Shouldn't have been.
It was illegal.

1016
00:44:32,127 --> 00:44:33,712
What you gonna do, go back
in time, "Minority Report" me?

1017
00:44:33,796 --> 00:44:36,090
Shut the fuck up.

1018
00:44:36,173 --> 00:44:37,383
I'm deflecting, I'm sorry.

1019
00:44:37,466 --> 00:44:40,969
Deborah would say
I'm deflecting.

1020
00:44:41,053 --> 00:44:42,262
So we're having a fight.

1021
00:44:42,346 --> 00:44:43,764
I'm trying to get
her back in the car.

1022
00:44:43,847 --> 00:44:44,973
And I was like, yo,
just get in the car.

1023
00:44:45,057 --> 00:44:46,433
We'll talk about this at home.

1024
00:44:46,517 --> 00:44:47,935
She's like, nuh uh,
fucking get away from me.

1025
00:44:48,018 --> 00:44:49,436
I'll smack the shit
out of you, Chris.

1026
00:44:49,520 --> 00:44:50,771
I'm like, no you won't.
Then she did it

1027
00:44:50,854 --> 00:44:53,440
because she's goal oriented.

1028
00:44:55,442 --> 00:44:56,777
Also I was high as hell,

1029
00:44:56,860 --> 00:44:58,445
cocky about it,
and real slow to react.

1030
00:44:58,529 --> 00:44:59,947
Like, I saw the smack coming
I was like,

1031
00:45:00,030 --> 00:45:01,240
we got more time.

1032
00:45:01,323 --> 00:45:02,866
No, we don't.

1033
00:45:02,950 --> 00:45:06,203
No, we don't.
Also, who is we?

1034
00:45:06,286 --> 00:45:08,038
I'm sitting there with
a freshly smacked face.

1035
00:45:08,122 --> 00:45:09,456
She's like, you ain't
gonna do nothing Chris,

1036
00:45:09,540 --> 00:45:10,916
'cause you was raised right.

1037
00:45:10,999 --> 00:45:13,293
Like, what the fuck kind
of shit is that to say?

1038
00:45:13,377 --> 00:45:14,837
That's attacking all my ego.

1039
00:45:14,920 --> 00:45:16,588
Now I gotta kill this bitch,
you know what I'm saying?

1040
00:45:16,672 --> 00:45:18,006
Obviously I didn't do that.

1041
00:45:18,090 --> 00:45:19,842
That'd be crazy to
fucking kill someone

1042
00:45:19,925 --> 00:45:21,218
and then do a tour about it.

1043
00:45:21,301 --> 00:45:22,511
What am I, a '90s rapper?

1044
00:45:22,594 --> 00:45:24,555
No.

1045
00:45:26,557 --> 00:45:28,600
So I obviously didn't do that,
you know what I'm saying?

1046
00:45:28,684 --> 00:45:30,394
Then she started getting cocky.

1047
00:45:30,477 --> 00:45:31,979
If you ever hit somebody, you
know, once you hit somebody,

1048
00:45:32,062 --> 00:45:34,314
it connects,
you start getting fuckin'--

1049
00:45:34,398 --> 00:45:36,567
You think you Mayweather.

1050
00:45:36,650 --> 00:45:38,402
She swung again,
this time hard as hell,

1051
00:45:38,485 --> 00:45:39,903
and I could see it coming.

1052
00:45:39,987 --> 00:45:41,488
And I ducked, and she
twirled and the sound

1053
00:45:41,572 --> 00:45:43,323
she made when she twirled
is a sound I've never

1054
00:45:43,407 --> 00:45:46,243
heard from anyone again.

1055
00:45:46,326 --> 00:45:49,413
She twirled, it was like,
whoa!

1056
00:45:49,496 --> 00:45:53,375
This is a grown Black
woman from Chicago.

1057
00:45:53,459 --> 00:45:55,752
Whoa!
Yeah, that's--

1058
00:45:55,836 --> 00:45:57,754
The fuck is that, dawg?

1059
00:45:57,838 --> 00:45:59,506
That's Porky Pig cumming, dawg.

1060
00:45:59,590 --> 00:46:00,549
That's what that is.

1061
00:46:00,632 --> 00:46:03,051
Whoa!
That's all folks.

1062
00:46:04,428 --> 00:46:06,472
And she twirled around,
she fell in the bushes

1063
00:46:06,555 --> 00:46:07,598
right behind her, dawg.

1064
00:46:07,681 --> 00:46:09,683
And I loved every second
of that.

1065
00:46:09,766 --> 00:46:11,935
'Cause I can't hit her,
I won't hit her.

1066
00:46:12,019 --> 00:46:14,062
But that bush, whew.

1067
00:46:14,146 --> 00:46:15,606
It was negative 20 degrees.

1068
00:46:15,689 --> 00:46:17,691
That bush--
no leaves, all sticks.

1069
00:46:17,774 --> 00:46:19,318
[audience oohs]

1070
00:46:19,401 --> 00:46:20,777
You heard the whole fall.

1071
00:46:20,861 --> 00:46:23,280
[imitates branches cracking]

1072
00:46:23,363 --> 00:46:26,074
Man, I love that bush.

1073
00:46:26,158 --> 00:46:28,494
Every time I go back to
Chicago, I drive by that bush

1074
00:46:28,577 --> 00:46:30,996
and I salute that
motherfuckin' bush.

1075
00:46:31,079 --> 00:46:33,457
Only Bush I would have voted
for, to be honest with you.

1076
00:46:35,459 --> 00:46:37,794
[applause]

1077
00:46:40,589 --> 00:46:42,216
And I looked up
to my cousin Trey.

1078
00:46:42,299 --> 00:46:43,800
He was the coolest,
like I told you all before.

1079
00:46:43,884 --> 00:46:45,594
I gave you a little
sample of that nigga.

1080
00:46:45,677 --> 00:46:48,263
But he was the dopest, he
was the most gangster, cool.

1081
00:46:48,347 --> 00:46:50,516
He had the most money,
girls, cars, all that.

1082
00:46:50,599 --> 00:46:54,394
He was also mean as hell,
and he definitely did

1083
00:46:54,478 --> 00:46:56,396
rob all of us at one point.

1084
00:46:56,480 --> 00:46:57,981
He was the type of guy
that robbed his family

1085
00:46:58,065 --> 00:46:59,483
before he took his
talents to the streets,

1086
00:46:59,566 --> 00:47:01,735
you know what I'm sayin'?

1087
00:47:01,818 --> 00:47:04,071
Take your $100, make you
look for it with him.

1088
00:47:04,154 --> 00:47:05,489
Like, it's weird, you know?

1089
00:47:05,572 --> 00:47:07,074
But I looked up to
this man because he was

1090
00:47:07,157 --> 00:47:09,117
the toughest dude, and
I was like, come on Trey,

1091
00:47:09,201 --> 00:47:10,577
let me be down,
like, nah, nah,

1092
00:47:10,661 --> 00:47:11,912
you fucked up the shit
with Chino, nigga,

1093
00:47:11,995 --> 00:47:13,413
you ain't even ready for this.

1094
00:47:13,497 --> 00:47:14,790
Like, no, come on man,
you know what I'm sayin',

1095
00:47:14,873 --> 00:47:16,458
I'm older now.
Let's go.

1096
00:47:16,542 --> 00:47:18,126
He was like, all right you
gotta be ready for whatever.

1097
00:47:18,210 --> 00:47:20,587
I'm like, when that day
come, when whatever come,

1098
00:47:20,671 --> 00:47:23,924
I'ma be fuckin' ready, cuz.

1099
00:47:24,007 --> 00:47:26,093
Three weeks later, we
walk into the corner store

1100
00:47:26,176 --> 00:47:27,553
you know, just get
some fucking candy

1101
00:47:27,636 --> 00:47:29,179
or whatever
the fuck I'm getting,

1102
00:47:29,263 --> 00:47:32,099
and then all of a sudden
my cousin pushed this dude.

1103
00:47:32,182 --> 00:47:33,934
Dude turn around,
who the fuck pushed me?

1104
00:47:34,017 --> 00:47:36,144
And I was like, I'm about
to see my cousin get it in.

1105
00:47:36,228 --> 00:47:38,647
This is dope.
And my cousin was like, he did.

1106
00:47:38,730 --> 00:47:40,607
And I was like--

1107
00:47:40,691 --> 00:47:44,278
Oh, whatever is here, nigga.

1108
00:47:44,361 --> 00:47:45,904
You know, he was like,
I'ma to fuck you up,

1109
00:47:45,988 --> 00:47:47,114
motherfucker.

1110
00:47:47,197 --> 00:47:49,241
And I didn't know what to say,

1111
00:47:49,324 --> 00:47:54,288
so all that came out was,
nah!

1112
00:47:54,371 --> 00:47:57,457
I thought that was
a good place to start.

1113
00:47:57,541 --> 00:48:00,627
I don't see
the outcome you see.

1114
00:48:00,711 --> 00:48:02,129
I don't know anybody
that starts a fight like,

1115
00:48:02,212 --> 00:48:03,880
I'ma fuck you up.
Yeah you are!

1116
00:48:03,964 --> 00:48:06,425
Make it quick,
you know, I don't know that.

1117
00:48:06,508 --> 00:48:07,884
I'm not that guy.

1118
00:48:07,968 --> 00:48:10,679
I said nah, but I knew
that nah wasn't enough.

1119
00:48:10,762 --> 00:48:13,223
I could tell by the
faces of everyone who

1120
00:48:13,307 --> 00:48:15,851
was watching the altercation.

1121
00:48:15,934 --> 00:48:18,437
My cousin's like, uh-huh.

1122
00:48:18,520 --> 00:48:21,440
I was like, oh, OK.
[clears throat]

1123
00:48:21,523 --> 00:48:24,860
So I just said what he said,
I'm like, no I'm a fuck you up.

1124
00:48:24,943 --> 00:48:27,321
Here's the thing
about me saying it,

1125
00:48:27,404 --> 00:48:30,616
is that I didn't make it to
"up," um--

1126
00:48:33,410 --> 00:48:36,163
So what I said
to this grown man was,

1127
00:48:36,246 --> 00:48:39,416
I'ma fuck you!

1128
00:48:39,499 --> 00:48:41,543
Which is
a very different message,

1129
00:48:41,627 --> 00:48:43,545
I think.

1130
00:48:43,629 --> 00:48:45,505
Now, the reason I didn't
get to "up" is because

1131
00:48:45,589 --> 00:48:48,258
he hit me so fast
in the throat.

1132
00:48:48,342 --> 00:48:52,304
I mean, directly in the middle,
and I farted right after that.

1133
00:48:52,387 --> 00:48:54,181
I don't know if you know
anything about the body,

1134
00:48:54,264 --> 00:48:57,184
but these two things
ain't connected at all.

1135
00:48:57,267 --> 00:48:58,852
You shouldn't get
hit here and--[imitates fart]

1136
00:48:58,935 --> 00:49:01,313
That shouldn't happen to you,
dawg.

1137
00:49:01,396 --> 00:49:03,273
Bro, it was crazy.
Did you ever sneeze

1138
00:49:03,357 --> 00:49:04,775
and fart at the same time,
and realize

1139
00:49:04,858 --> 00:49:06,902
you're not in control
of your life? You ever--

1140
00:49:06,985 --> 00:49:08,320
Achoo. [imitates fart]
What the fuck?

1141
00:49:08,403 --> 00:49:11,907
That has to be Jesus.
That's crazy.

1142
00:49:11,990 --> 00:49:13,533
I farted, bro, and it was wild.

1143
00:49:13,617 --> 00:49:14,868
Like, it pissed my cousin off.

1144
00:49:14,951 --> 00:49:16,036
He grabbed me
from under my arm,

1145
00:49:16,119 --> 00:49:17,371
dragged me all the way home.

1146
00:49:17,454 --> 00:49:18,705
And it was crazy.
I was being heckled

1147
00:49:18,789 --> 00:49:20,082
by the crackhead
across the street

1148
00:49:20,165 --> 00:49:22,042
'cause he saw
a very different fight

1149
00:49:22,125 --> 00:49:23,335
than the fight that went down.

1150
00:49:23,418 --> 00:49:24,378
He was like, that's right!

1151
00:49:24,461 --> 00:49:25,921
Don't let nobody fuck you!

1152
00:49:26,004 --> 00:49:30,884
You know, man, I was like
no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

1153
00:49:30,967 --> 00:49:32,678
And my cousin threw
me in the house.

1154
00:49:32,761 --> 00:49:34,554
Motherfucker, see, I told you
you ain't built for this shit.

1155
00:49:34,638 --> 00:49:36,723
Nigga, you out here getting
hit in your goddamn throat

1156
00:49:36,807 --> 00:49:39,976
and tootin'?
I'm like, tootin'?

1157
00:49:40,060 --> 00:49:43,063
This is a grown gangster,
killer for sure.

1158
00:49:43,146 --> 00:49:44,731
Tootin'?

1159
00:49:44,815 --> 00:49:47,651
Like a choo-choo train, nigga?

1160
00:49:47,734 --> 00:49:50,237
He's like, you tootin'!

1161
00:49:50,320 --> 00:49:52,072
It wasn't the right time
to make fun of the man,

1162
00:49:52,155 --> 00:49:54,241
but I kept it in here.

1163
00:49:56,076 --> 00:49:57,744
He ain't talk to me
for about half a year.

1164
00:49:57,828 --> 00:50:00,455
I thought my gangster career
was over with, truly.

1165
00:50:00,539 --> 00:50:02,582
And then he called me, right.
I put it on speakerphone,

1166
00:50:02,666 --> 00:50:03,917
'cause I
had been talking to my friends

1167
00:50:04,000 --> 00:50:05,168
who I play video games with.

1168
00:50:05,252 --> 00:50:06,712
I was like,
I'ma tell you, my cousin

1169
00:50:06,795 --> 00:50:08,338
gon' to call me, man,
and he's gonna let me

1170
00:50:08,422 --> 00:50:10,257
come back and prove myself.

1171
00:50:10,340 --> 00:50:12,592
Shit's gonna be dope.
Then he finally did.

1172
00:50:12,676 --> 00:50:14,094
I saw the call coming,
so we all

1173
00:50:14,177 --> 00:50:15,595
gathered around
the speakerphone,

1174
00:50:15,679 --> 00:50:17,556
put on speakerphone,
like what's up, cuz?

1175
00:50:17,639 --> 00:50:19,307
What's good?
I'm sittin' there frontin'

1176
00:50:19,391 --> 00:50:22,728
and then he says,
first line, he was like,

1177
00:50:22,811 --> 00:50:25,439
Hey, I found the nigga
you farted on.

1178
00:50:33,530 --> 00:50:36,158
I didn't fart on the nigga.

1179
00:50:39,619 --> 00:50:41,038
So I picked up the phone like,
hey, nigga,

1180
00:50:41,121 --> 00:50:43,707
you could say, hi, bro.

1181
00:50:43,790 --> 00:50:45,333
That works, too.

1182
00:50:45,417 --> 00:50:47,377
He's like, listen, yo,
you wanna roll with me

1183
00:50:47,461 --> 00:50:49,671
and my niggas, man, so you
go ahead and prove yourself?

1184
00:50:49,755 --> 00:50:52,174
I'm like, hell yeah, cuz,
I'm ready to redeem myself.

1185
00:50:52,257 --> 00:50:53,884
He was like,
you are not a coupon, nigga,

1186
00:50:53,967 --> 00:50:55,719
shut the fuck up.

1187
00:50:55,802 --> 00:50:58,472
I was like, right, right.
And then I got in the car.

1188
00:50:58,555 --> 00:51:00,223
I was in the middle
in the back seat.

1189
00:51:00,307 --> 00:51:02,809
It was two grown ass
motherfuckers that I just

1190
00:51:02,893 --> 00:51:04,311
knew rolled with my cousin,
there,

1191
00:51:04,394 --> 00:51:05,854
and my cousin was in
the passenger side,

1192
00:51:05,937 --> 00:51:07,856
and my other cousin
was driving the car.

1193
00:51:07,939 --> 00:51:09,441
And he's like, yo, they
right up the street.

1194
00:51:09,524 --> 00:51:11,026
So we gonna roll up
on these motherfuckers,

1195
00:51:11,109 --> 00:51:12,611
pop out, knock they ass out,
then we gonna

1196
00:51:12,694 --> 00:51:16,323
to go to McDonald's
for whatever reason.

1197
00:51:16,406 --> 00:51:17,741
So we riding for a while.

1198
00:51:17,824 --> 00:51:19,284
I'm like, yo, so they
right up the street?

1199
00:51:19,367 --> 00:51:20,869
He's like yeah,
they right up the street.

1200
00:51:20,952 --> 00:51:23,413
I'm like, all right,
it's a long street, nigga.

1201
00:51:23,497 --> 00:51:25,957
And then I had to pee,
so I had to ask him.

1202
00:51:26,041 --> 00:51:27,709
I was like yo, yo,
hey cuz, can we stop

1203
00:51:27,793 --> 00:51:29,002
so I can piss real quick?

1204
00:51:29,085 --> 00:51:30,587
He's like, hell no!
Only bitches pee.

1205
00:51:30,670 --> 00:51:33,423
I'm like that's
not true at all.

1206
00:51:33,507 --> 00:51:35,342
I know we gangsta, nigga,
but come on.

1207
00:51:35,425 --> 00:51:37,803
But the dude next to me
was so scared of my cousin.

1208
00:51:37,886 --> 00:51:39,846
He was like, I ain't never
peed a day in my life.

1209
00:51:39,930 --> 00:51:43,183
Like, who the fuck
is this idiot?

1210
00:51:43,266 --> 00:51:44,976
I'm like, come on, cuz,
stop so I can pee.

1211
00:51:45,060 --> 00:51:46,978
I ain't stopping, dawg,
so piss yourself.

1212
00:51:47,062 --> 00:51:50,148
What a terrible outfit
to wear to a fight.

1213
00:51:50,232 --> 00:51:51,983
They already know
me as fart boy.

1214
00:51:52,067 --> 00:51:54,486
Now I gotta show up
and waddle up in piss pants.

1215
00:51:54,569 --> 00:51:57,364
I'm not doing that.

1216
00:51:57,447 --> 00:51:59,241
I was like, come on stop.
He's like, we're not stopping,

1217
00:51:59,324 --> 00:52:01,535
and neither was this piss, so I
had to figure something out.

1218
00:52:01,618 --> 00:52:04,079
I saw this cup that was sitting
right there for a long time.

1219
00:52:04,162 --> 00:52:05,539
Nobody was drinking out of it.

1220
00:52:05,622 --> 00:52:07,290
I watched it for
five more minutes.

1221
00:52:07,374 --> 00:52:09,709
Nobody drank out of it
again, so I grabbed it.

1222
00:52:09,793 --> 00:52:11,586
It was pretty empty.

1223
00:52:11,670 --> 00:52:12,879
I made a wall with my coat.

1224
00:52:12,963 --> 00:52:15,465
A pee wall, if you will.

1225
00:52:15,549 --> 00:52:18,260
And I pissed in it, put the
cap back on, put it back

1226
00:52:18,343 --> 00:52:20,679
in the middle,
and I watched it to make sure

1227
00:52:20,762 --> 00:52:22,931
nobody drank out of it.

1228
00:52:23,014 --> 00:52:25,559
Also, if someone did,

1229
00:52:25,642 --> 00:52:27,894
I wasn't gon' say shit.

1230
00:52:27,978 --> 00:52:32,858
because I was terrified,
nigga, what?

1231
00:52:32,941 --> 00:52:34,693
But I was watching it like
I was gonna say shit,

1232
00:52:34,776 --> 00:52:36,653
but I wasn't gonna
say shit, though.

1233
00:52:36,736 --> 00:52:38,738
And no one touched it, though.
I was so glad.

1234
00:52:38,822 --> 00:52:42,033
Until the very end of the ride,
right before we got

1235
00:52:42,117 --> 00:52:43,243
to where we was going, man.

1236
00:52:43,326 --> 00:52:44,870
It was slow motion.

1237
00:52:44,953 --> 00:52:47,831
My cousin rolled the window
down, threw out the blunt,

1238
00:52:47,914 --> 00:52:49,332
then he did this.

1239
00:52:49,416 --> 00:52:52,252
[smacks lips]

1240
00:52:52,335 --> 00:52:56,840
The driest mouth in
the county, nigga.

1241
00:52:56,923 --> 00:52:59,175
Then he grabs it and takes the
biggest swig of that shit

1242
00:52:59,259 --> 00:53:00,760
I ever seen in my life.

1243
00:53:00,844 --> 00:53:04,097
Y'all acting like
y'all were there.

1244
00:53:04,180 --> 00:53:05,432
Shit was nasty, bro.

1245
00:53:05,515 --> 00:53:06,850
And he was like,
ugh, what the fuck?

1246
00:53:06,933 --> 00:53:08,226
He threw that shit
out the window like

1247
00:53:08,310 --> 00:53:11,771
who the fuck put
warm beer in my cup, bro?

1248
00:53:11,855 --> 00:53:15,609
And that's when I knew
for sure that my cousin

1249
00:53:15,692 --> 00:53:18,403
had never drank piss before.

1250
00:53:19,779 --> 00:53:23,450
[cheers and applause]

1251
00:53:23,533 --> 00:53:26,953
I'm glad y'all
proud of him, too.

1252
00:53:27,037 --> 00:53:29,122
I was gonna take that shit
to the grave with me, man,

1253
00:53:29,205 --> 00:53:32,292
but then my cousin got
locked up, so I feel safe.

1254
00:53:32,375 --> 00:53:34,002
I'm just playing.
I'm just playing.

1255
00:53:34,085 --> 00:53:35,587
I told him for real.

1256
00:53:35,670 --> 00:53:38,965
He did get locked up for
stuff he definitely did.

1257
00:53:39,049 --> 00:53:42,469
Now I'm not snitching,
it's public knowledge

1258
00:53:42,552 --> 00:53:43,970
at this point.

1259
00:53:44,054 --> 00:53:45,972
He's gone for a minute,
but we still fall for him.

1260
00:53:46,056 --> 00:53:47,599
And I don't know if
you know how fucked up

1261
00:53:47,682 --> 00:53:49,643
it is to know someone's
guilty but still

1262
00:53:49,726 --> 00:53:53,229
be out there with "Free Trey"
shirts, knowing he did it.

1263
00:53:53,313 --> 00:53:55,523
Free Trey!
Knowing that nigga guilty.

1264
00:53:55,607 --> 00:53:57,984
Free Trey!
He was definitely there.

1265
00:53:58,068 --> 00:54:01,947
Free Trey!
Planned the whole thing.

1266
00:54:02,030 --> 00:54:04,532
Because that was
like my family motto.

1267
00:54:04,616 --> 00:54:06,409
We ride for each other
regardless of the fact,

1268
00:54:06,493 --> 00:54:09,245
and that might put us in
some difficult situations,

1269
00:54:09,329 --> 00:54:10,497
but that's what we do.

1270
00:54:10,580 --> 00:54:12,040
And we're out there,
free Trey!

1271
00:54:12,123 --> 00:54:13,291
But in the back
of my mind, I was like,

1272
00:54:13,375 --> 00:54:15,794
take your time, though.

1273
00:54:17,671 --> 00:54:19,172
I was there
when his house got raided.

1274
00:54:19,255 --> 00:54:21,007
I didn't wanna be there,
you know what I'm saying?

1275
00:54:21,091 --> 00:54:22,676
They don't warn you
when they come in.

1276
00:54:22,759 --> 00:54:24,177
It's kinda they thing.

1277
00:54:24,260 --> 00:54:26,930
They pop up, surprise
party you never wanted.

1278
00:54:27,013 --> 00:54:28,890
All I know is it was, like,
the fifth time I was

1279
00:54:28,974 --> 00:54:31,393
ever high,
playing "Call of Duty."

1280
00:54:31,476 --> 00:54:35,355
And "Call of Duty" got
real IMAX 3D on a nigga.

1281
00:54:35,438 --> 00:54:38,733
'Cause as I was swinging in a
house with a gun on the game,

1282
00:54:38,817 --> 00:54:39,985
they swung in our
house with guns.

1283
00:54:40,068 --> 00:54:42,320
And I was like, damn.

1284
00:54:42,404 --> 00:54:45,240
PS2 is on some new shit.

1285
00:54:45,323 --> 00:54:48,368
Oh, these niggas are real.

1286
00:54:48,451 --> 00:54:50,078
I got on the ground.
They pushed my cousin

1287
00:54:50,161 --> 00:54:51,496
Trey to the wall,
they were like,

1288
00:54:51,579 --> 00:54:53,039
freeze, Trey Johnson,
you under arrest.

1289
00:54:53,123 --> 00:54:55,208
And that's when Trey
said the wildest thing

1290
00:54:55,291 --> 00:54:58,378
I've ever heard anyone say
to the police to their face.

1291
00:54:58,461 --> 00:54:59,963
He looked him
dead in their eyes

1292
00:55:00,046 --> 00:55:01,172
and he was like,

1293
00:55:01,256 --> 00:55:04,467
about time.

1294
00:55:04,551 --> 00:55:07,470
And everyone was
confused immediately.

1295
00:55:07,554 --> 00:55:08,972
what?
I think a bird stopped flying.

1296
00:55:09,055 --> 00:55:10,932
Like, nigga what?

1297
00:55:11,016 --> 00:55:12,726
He's like, you should
have caught me last year.

1298
00:55:12,809 --> 00:55:14,894
We was like, shut up!

1299
00:55:14,978 --> 00:55:16,688
You still gotta
go to court, fam.

1300
00:55:16,771 --> 00:55:18,690
It's gonna be
a slam dunk case.

1301
00:55:18,773 --> 00:55:20,567
And it was.
I've never seen somebody

1302
00:55:20,650 --> 00:55:21,901
go to jail that fast.

1303
00:55:21,985 --> 00:55:23,361
I think the prosecutor
wore sweat pants.

1304
00:55:23,445 --> 00:55:25,488
Nobody tried.

1305
00:55:27,949 --> 00:55:29,617
Even the cops were gonna
help this nigga out.

1306
00:55:29,701 --> 00:55:31,244
They were like, you do have
the right to remain silent,

1307
00:55:31,327 --> 00:55:33,246
my nigga.

1308
00:55:33,329 --> 00:55:35,623
Like, you won't silence me.

1309
00:55:35,707 --> 00:55:38,752
It was a confusing part
of Trey's takedown,

1310
00:55:38,835 --> 00:55:40,170
and I remember
when he went to jail,

1311
00:55:40,253 --> 00:55:41,838
a lot of people
wrote him off, you know.

1312
00:55:41,921 --> 00:55:43,715
I still put money on his books
and went to visit him,

1313
00:55:43,798 --> 00:55:45,383
'cause I just don't like the
thought of my fuckin' family

1314
00:55:45,467 --> 00:55:47,427
being alone, no matter
if they bad or not.

1315
00:55:47,510 --> 00:55:49,012
So I would go visit him, right?

1316
00:55:49,095 --> 00:55:52,307
And he was definitely
still an asshole about it.

1317
00:55:52,390 --> 00:55:54,350
I went to visit him he's like,
oh, look at this bitch ass

1318
00:55:54,434 --> 00:55:56,144
nigga Chris,
coming up seeing me.

1319
00:55:56,227 --> 00:55:58,104
Oh, bitch ass nigga.
[imitating farts]

1320
00:55:58,188 --> 00:55:59,898
Who am I?

1321
00:56:01,066 --> 00:56:03,568
I'm like, dawg, it wasn't even
that kind of fart, dawg.

1322
00:56:03,651 --> 00:56:04,986
You gotta chill.

1323
00:56:05,070 --> 00:56:07,238
And he's like, nah you're
the bitch that fart.

1324
00:56:07,322 --> 00:56:09,115
[imitating farts]
Look at your ass.

1325
00:56:09,199 --> 00:56:11,785
So I'm impulsive, so I lost it.

1326
00:56:11,868 --> 00:56:15,663
And I was like, that's why
you drank my pee nigga!

1327
00:56:20,376 --> 00:56:21,961
All right, here's the thing
about this

1328
00:56:22,045 --> 00:56:23,963
is, yes I
did do that weird ass

1329
00:56:24,047 --> 00:56:26,299
Morphin' time
Power Ranger shit,

1330
00:56:26,382 --> 00:56:29,135
but also, I definitely
forgot people

1331
00:56:29,219 --> 00:56:32,138
heard that out of context.

1332
00:56:32,222 --> 00:56:33,807
And it was so
weird for the room.

1333
00:56:33,890 --> 00:56:37,185
Everybody was like, oh,
we're done for the day, uh--

1334
00:56:37,268 --> 00:56:38,812
But what was
fucked up about it,

1335
00:56:38,895 --> 00:56:41,773
is as soon as I said that,
the look on his face,

1336
00:56:41,856 --> 00:56:45,401
he knew the exact day I
was fuckin' talking about.

1337
00:56:45,485 --> 00:56:46,820
It had been years.

1338
00:56:46,903 --> 00:56:48,655
The second I saw it,
he was like, I knew

1339
00:56:48,738 --> 00:56:50,698
that wasn't warm beer!

1340
00:56:50,782 --> 00:56:53,201
That nigga punched out a guard.
[imitates blow landing]

1341
00:56:53,284 --> 00:56:56,079
That guard didn't do anything.

1342
00:56:56,162 --> 00:56:57,705
We ain't talked
for months, man.

1343
00:56:57,789 --> 00:56:59,165
I thought we would
never talk again.

1344
00:56:59,249 --> 00:57:00,792
Then he hit me, you know,
to come visit him.

1345
00:57:00,875 --> 00:57:02,001
So I did.

1346
00:57:02,085 --> 00:57:03,920
And it was different, you know?

1347
00:57:04,003 --> 00:57:06,673
I pulled up, and he had
a whole different vibe.

1348
00:57:06,756 --> 00:57:08,716
He was like, hey cuz,
come sit down, boy.

1349
00:57:08,800 --> 00:57:10,260
Hey man, it's good
to see you, my nigga.

1350
00:57:10,343 --> 00:57:11,678
You look good.

1351
00:57:11,761 --> 00:57:14,848
So already I'm like,
what the fuck is this?

1352
00:57:14,931 --> 00:57:16,683
He's like, hey man,
I just wanna say, dawg,

1353
00:57:16,766 --> 00:57:19,894
like, man,
I got my GED in here.

1354
00:57:19,978 --> 00:57:22,021
You know, I got a job and shit.
I've been going to counseling.

1355
00:57:22,105 --> 00:57:23,731
Started working through
my shit, you know?

1356
00:57:23,815 --> 00:57:24,899
I'm a Muslim now.

1357
00:57:24,983 --> 00:57:26,526
I'm like, oh, congratulations.

1358
00:57:26,609 --> 00:57:28,319
He's like yeah, dawg,
I read the Bible every day.

1359
00:57:28,403 --> 00:57:32,073
I'm like,
that's the wrong book, um--

1360
00:57:32,157 --> 00:57:33,408
He in there a long time.

1361
00:57:33,491 --> 00:57:36,786
I ain't about to
fuck up his progress.

1362
00:57:38,037 --> 00:57:40,165
And he's like, yo, I just
wanna say, man, like

1363
00:57:40,248 --> 00:57:41,875
I know you looked up to me,
dawg,

1364
00:57:41,958 --> 00:57:43,960
and I didn't do right by you
as your big cousin, man,

1365
00:57:44,043 --> 00:57:46,379
and I apologize for that shit,
dawg, you know?

1366
00:57:46,462 --> 00:57:48,339
It was weirdly a sweet moment.

1367
00:57:48,423 --> 00:57:50,383
But I had to ask him, though,
I was like, yo, man,

1368
00:57:50,466 --> 00:57:52,177
when you got arrested, though,
cuz, like,

1369
00:57:52,260 --> 00:57:54,053
and you said, "About time,

1370
00:57:54,137 --> 00:57:56,806
should have caught
me last year."

1371
00:57:56,890 --> 00:57:58,391
Why did you say that?

1372
00:57:58,474 --> 00:58:01,895
And he was like, look man,
I only had two options.

1373
00:58:01,978 --> 00:58:04,314
I had a lot of guns upstairs,
could have lit that shit up,

1374
00:58:04,397 --> 00:58:06,649
went out like Scarface,
you know what I'm saying?

1375
00:58:06,733 --> 00:58:09,068
But you and my sister and
my brother was downstairs.

1376
00:58:09,152 --> 00:58:10,528
I couldn't put you
all through that shit,

1377
00:58:10,612 --> 00:58:12,197
so I knew it was my time to go.

1378
00:58:12,280 --> 00:58:13,948
But I wanted all them
niggas in that room to know.

1379
00:58:14,032 --> 00:58:15,992
All them cops. I want the all
them cops to know

1380
00:58:16,075 --> 00:58:19,370
they are very bad detectives.

1381
00:58:21,414 --> 00:58:23,082
And that's the level
of petty I want

1382
00:58:23,166 --> 00:58:24,209
in my relationship, nigga.

1383
00:58:24,292 --> 00:58:27,629
Because that's petty.

1384
00:58:27,712 --> 00:58:32,091
That's petty.
[cheers and applause]

1385
00:58:32,175 --> 00:58:35,345
My man went to jail for
life only to have cops

1386
00:58:35,428 --> 00:58:36,638
going to bed like, last year?

1387
00:58:36,721 --> 00:58:38,806
What did we miss?
You know?

1388
00:58:38,890 --> 00:58:40,892
[applause]

1389
00:58:40,975 --> 00:58:43,102
Hey, thank y'all so
motherfuckin' much!

1390
00:58:43,186 --> 00:58:45,980
I love you, St. Louis!
Peace!

1391
00:58:46,064 --> 00:58:49,025
[cheers and applause]

1392
00:58:49,108 --> 00:58:52,028
<i>[hip-hop music]</i>

1393
00:58:52,111 --> 00:58:59,202
<i>♪ ♪</i>

1394
00:59:04,874 --> 00:59:07,502
- As a kid, what
was your kid dream?

1395
00:59:07,585 --> 00:59:09,837
- To party.

1396
00:59:09,921 --> 00:59:11,631
- To party?

1397
00:59:11,714 --> 00:59:14,133
That was your childhood dream?

1398
00:59:14,217 --> 00:59:15,843
Nigga's like, I wanna
be a basketball player.

1399
00:59:15,927 --> 00:59:16,970
I wanna be Superman.

1400
00:59:17,053 --> 00:59:19,138
I wanna party right here.

1401
00:59:21,057 --> 00:59:23,810
Turn it up, nigga,
I can't hear the beat.

1402
00:59:25,353 --> 00:59:26,980
Can you imagine
seeing that kid?

1403
00:59:27,772 --> 00:59:31,109
Recess is over.
It ain't never over, bitch!

1404
00:59:31,192 --> 00:59:32,527
<i>♪ ♪</i>

1405
00:59:32,610 --> 00:59:34,654
<i>- ♪ Why am I like this? ♪</i>