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[THURSTON HARRIS' "LITTLE BITTY PRETTY ONE" PLAYING]
♪ Mmm-mmm-mmm Mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm ♪
♪ Mmm-mmm-mmm Mmm-mmm-mmm ♪
♪ Mmm-mmm-mmm Mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm ♪
♪ Mmm-mmm-mmm Mmm-mmm-mmm ♪
♪ Mmm-mmm-mmm Mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm ♪
♪ Mmm-mmm-mmm Mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm... ♪
ADULT GINNY: Some kids dream of going to camp.
[CHILDREN CLAMORING EXCITEDLY]
♪ Little bitty pretty one... ♪
Nature...
friendships...
torturing unsuspecting counselors for fun.
♪ Whoa-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh ♪
♪ Whoa-oh-oh Oh-oh-oh ♪
♪ Whoa-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh ♪
♪ Whoa-oh-oh Oh-oh-oh ♪
♪ Tell you a story ♪
♪ Happened a long time ago... ♪
They yearn for adventure.
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]
♪ Whoa-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh ♪
♪ Whoa-oh-oh Oh-oh-oh... ♪
And Nora was not one of them.
♪ Little bitty pretty one ♪
♪ Come on and talk to me... ♪
She was a loner.
Much more keen to explore the great indoors.
Clean, quiet, controlled environments.
But her parents shipped her off,
convinced she'd come home with a bunch of new besties.
Little did they know she'd be bunking
with the Pretty Committee.
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
GIRL: Open the damn door, Mary!
- Jane needs to pee! - JANE: Come on, Mary!
Open the door! I need to pee.
What the hell are you doing in there?
Come on, Mary![KNOCKING CONTINUES]
[SIGHS] Can I help you?
Um, sure. Um...
what bunk would be best... for me?
This is Sycamore cabin?
Yeah, no. Magnolia. Bye.
MARY: I think I'm dying!
If you must die, can you do it somewhere else?
I think I might actually pee myself!
Please, Jane. I need the doctor!
ADULT GINNY: They tortured Mary,
my sweet little lamb.
And I wasn't having any of it.
You lost? This isn't your bunk.
I was a camp veteran.
A year older. Wiser. [KNOCKS]
Hey, I'm Ginny. Open up!
MARY:Go away!
It's okay, kid. It's just your period.
I know, but menstruation isn't supposed to happen
until age 12. I still have eight more months!
Look at you, ahead of the game.
What if I'm hemorrhaging?[SCOFFS]
Look, I know what I'm talking about, okay?
I got my first period at 10,
and my mom bought me my first bras when I was 11.
We walked into JC Penny, bought 3 demi cups,
and burned them right in the parking lot.
Mmm...
EVELYN: You can't smoke in here!
You gotta stick it up inside you.
In-- Inside me?[POUNDING ON DOOR]
EVELYN: What is happening in there?!
She's blossoming into womanhood! Chill.
Gross!
Can you do it?
Fine.
[TOILET FLUSHES]
Finally.
Come with me. Let's go.
Hmm? Let's go.
GIRL: You're never gonna hit it if you don't believe you can.
Hmm. Not bad, pinky.
What can I say? I'm a natural.
Nora? What are you doing?
[CHUCKLES] Okay.
Uh, let me help you here.
Um, first straighten that up.
Raise your elbow up a bit. Okay. Not bad.
Now, aim a little higher.
Good, good, good. Fire!
[ARROW WHISTLING, PIERCES FLESH]
[BOY GROANS IN DISTANCE]
- Shit! Too high! - Go, go, go!
GIRL: Did she just hit him?
[CAMPERS MURMURING]
Hold on!
We're coming to help you!
[GASPS] Oh, my God! I'm so sorry!
Never apologize until you see blood.
Hey, guys?
[GASPS] I think it looks worse
- than it is. - Looks pretty bad.
[WHISTLE BLOWS]
You three. Come with me.
ADULT GINNY: I thought for sure we were gonna get kicked out.
All right, listen up.
I have not seen much integration
between the three of you and your respective cohorts,
so we have decided to try
putting all of you in one group.
Sassafras.
[♪]
I actually...
[GIRLS SQUEALING EXCITEDLY]
Year after year, we returned to camp.
I haven't seen you guys since last year!
I know! I missed you!
Those eight weeks
were what made the other 44 bearable.
We never really fit in...
until we found each other.
NORA: You got it, Mary!
- Whoo! Go, Mary! - Whoo! Yeah!
I was there for their wins,
cheering them on...
Their wing woman when they had their first crushes
on whip-smart Stevie D.
Did you see that look?
And handsome as hell Tommy.
[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]
And I like to think I brought both of them
out of their shells.
[GIGGLING]
We promised to stay best friends forever.
We had big dreams of going to the same college
and ending up in the same town.
GINNY & NORA: Peeing!
But 50 years later,
we hadn't exactly kept our promises.
[♪]
There was no way in hell
I was gonna let 'em miss our summer-camp reunion.
I was a self-made self-help sensation.
I felt like I was the only one
making efforts to catch up anymore.
GINNY: Get your ass down here. We need to get to Nora's.
MARY [OVER PHONE]: I'm still on shift. I'll be out in 20.
And, Gin, don't talk to anyone.
Oh, Mary. You know I can't ignore the fans.
Ms. Moon. It is such an honor.
Oh, I'll be glad to sign that for you.
GINNY: Mary got married. Settled.
Ugh, don't tell her I said that.
She gave up her dream of becoming a doctor.
Although she eventually went to nursing school.
[APPLE WATCH PHONE RINGING] Oh, I'm sorry.
I have it on "do not disturb."
But there it is, disturbing.
Hi, honey! Is everything all right?
Uh, where do you keep the peanuts?
I've been tearing the kitchen apart.
In the cabinet on the left. Upper.
With the spices? I swear I looked there.
No, no. I wouldn't keep a snack food with the spices.
I gotta go.
Come on. Come on.
[MAN BREATHES DEEPLY]
Ah. There he is.[WATCH PHONE RINGING]
[MARY SIGHS]
[SIGHS] Doesn't "do not disturb" mean anything?
GINNY: If Mary was tough to convince,
Nora was gonna be like teaching cats synchronized swimming.
She was notorious for bailing on plans
to get the band back together,
opting instead for a sad,
solitary, sanitized existence.
If we were gonna get her to come,
we'd have to stage a full-on kidnapping.
[WHISPERS] Oh, God.
[GROANS SOFTLY]
I apologize. No. I am. I'm hearing you.
- No. - Yeah. No. I can understand
what you're saying, and you are being heard 100%. Mm-hmm.
I'm on it right now. Okay? Bye.
So... Mm-hmm?
Uh, Ginny Moon managed to track down
- my cell phone number. - What?
And she said, um... She said?
"If you don't pick up the effing phone,
she's going to send the entire company
pictures of you all in Cancun
getting wet and wild with Cabana Carlos in '97."
She also said that she wanted you
to look out the window.
- What do you mean? - Uh...
What? [GASPS]
[SQUEALS][SCOFFS, SHUSHES]
We're stealth!
[♪]
I do not have time for this.
I simply do not have time for this.
- I'll get rid of them. - Yeah, yeah.
- I'll get rid of them. - Yeah, fine.
Right this way, Miss Moon.
Uh, it is such an honor to meet you.
And... Hi.
I read the Get Your Shit Together box set
cover to cover. Twice.
It really helped me cut out
all the toxic relationships in my life.
Now I live alone with my Bichon Frise, Martin, and, um...
[SIGHS]
...I've never been happier.
- I know how to open a door. - It's a little heavy.
I know. I'll give you a selfie later.
I'll give you a couple of selfies. Nora!
Hey, stranger. It's been a while, huh?
[DEEP VOICE] Are you Nora Thompson Gray?
Is that Mary?
Of course it's Mary.
Who else could I have convinced
to wear that ridiculous get-up?
Oh, come on, Nora. Help us kidnap you.
Forgive me for not being a more cooperative victim.
You don't think you're skipping out
- on this reunion, do you? - I'm sorry.
I have to finish a ton of paperwork.
And look at this. My swivel chair.
It doesn't even swivel.
It completely lost its swivel.
The CEO of a company must swivel!
Okay. Never mind.
[NORA MUTTERING]
- Whoop! - What's going on?
Okay, great. No problem at all.
I think this-- No! I'm...
Okay. Okay.
You can't just bully Mary and me to get your way!
I don't bully. I persuade.
You threatened to retract
Emma's school recommendation letter.
Ginny! She's 8!
Actually, Nora, she's 18.
My grandbaby's applying to colleges.
- Oh. - See! Look how much
of each other's lives we've missed.
I mean, the last time we all got together
without a bunch of cling-ons, Mike had hair.
Cling-ons?! Do you mean family?
Oh my God. Oh, please.
As much as it pains me to admit this,
she's right.
July will be 15 years since Wesley died.
Tsk. Oh, man.
And I would argue that a funeral
doesn't count as a girls' trip.
However, you did get topless in the hot tub.
There's no right way to grieve.
[CHUCKLES]
Just come on!
I haven't packed. You know, I mean, I really-- I can't.
Oh, I packed plenty for both of you.
And don't worry. I'm past my caftan phase.
[CHUCKLES] Come on!
GINNY: We all needed a change.
Even if they didn't know it yet.
I can't believe you drive this thing yourself.
MARY: Right?[CHUCKLES]
I can hardly handle my RAV4.
Ooh. Why do you need
a home security system in an RV?
Not to worry you, but I had
a Mark David Chapman situation a few years ago.
[BANNER TEARS]
[BIG BOSS VETTE'S "PRETTY GIRLS WALK" PLAYING]
[BRAKES SQUEAL]
♪ All the pretty girls Walk like this ♪
♪ This, this, this This, this ♪
♪ Pretty girls walk Like this ♪
My God, it hasn't changed one bit.
Handle with care! This isn't the TSA!
Oh! Vick Cockburn,
two-time state wrestling champ,
one-time Peoria Pie Eating Contest winner,
and would-be Army recruit if it wasn't for my webbed toes.
I will be your personal liaison this week, Ms. Moon.
I'll get you settled in,
ensure the premises remains secure.
[GARBLED CHATTER OVER HEADPHONES]
Oh. 10-4. I'm on it!
[♪]
- MARY: Our cabin! - NORA: Oh!
I'm not sleeping on the top.
I'm starting to have flashbacks.
Oh, my God. I don't remember there being steps here.
- Whoa. - Whoa. [CHUCKLING]
What?
Oh, man.
Ah, oh!
It's exactly how I remember it.
That's exactly what I was afraid of, actually.
[FLIES BUZZING]
Yeah... There's a nice breeze.
- Yeah. - Don't worry.
I knew this wasn't gonna work.
[LAUGHS]
[WHISTLES SHARPLY]
[PANTING]
Ah, oh!
[EXHALES SHARPLY]
Yeah!
[♪]
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATION]
Woof!
What? Check it out.
What? Oh...
What is that?
♪ Clean shirt, new shoes ♪
♪ And I don't know Where I am going to... ♪
NORA: I can't see for shit.
Can you just give it to me for a minute? Please?
Let me just see for a second.
Uh-oh. Oh, hello.
How are you, sirs?
Oh, my gosh. It's Stevie D.
Here. Lemme see. Let me see.
Hey! Hey!
God, that name sounded a lot more edgy
when we were 14, right?
Can you imagine yelling that at the top of your lungs?
I don't think she has much to imagine there.
NORA: We kept everything above the clothes.
- He's a gentleman. - Yeah, well, we can fix that.
Time has been very good to some of us.
Hey. Speak for yourself.
Oh, my freaking God!
[♪]
[DISTORTED] No freaking way!
MARY: It's the Pretty Committee.
How are they still so pretty?
- Pilates and plastic. - Oh.
Ginny Moon!
[LAUGHS] Oh!
- Hi. It's so firm. - That's so great.
It's so wonderful to see... you girls.
And Ginny, wow!
We love you. We've read all the books.
- Power pose! - Oh!
- Oh, whoa. - Wow.
Okay. Evelyn. Judy.
What say we go get in a quick Pilates sesh?
- Pilates? - Told ya.
We'll see you at the reception.
- Bye. - See ya!
Bye! Bye!
You're so famous!
- You're so famous! - GINNY: Yeah.
[MOCK GAGGING] What are you doing? Okay.
That's rude.
GINNY: If you think that was something,
you'll really get a kick out of this.
4.5 million views.
[GASPS] What?
[ON VIDEO] I'm Ginny Moon.
Let me hit you with a little knowledge.
People deserve the love they accept.
Pause. Play it again. Let it sink in.
If he's been treating you like trash for years,
it's on you to flip the script
and take his ass to the dumpster.
[LAUGHS] Real subtle.
As a Brinks truck![CHUCKLES]
Campers, check in and get your cabin assignments here.
[♪]
Miss Moon. We are so grateful
to have you back at Camp Pinnacle.
And I believe Vick's got you all set up
- in the Sassafras cabin. - NORA: Whoa!
Hi! Hi.[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]
If you could kindly place
your electronic devices in this bin.
What? Wh-- I'm sorry. Come again?
We aim to create a technology-free environment
so that you can truly enjoy your time here and reconnect.
Hear, hear. Ladies,
we're not here for connection.
We're here for reconnection!
They will be locked in a secured place
and stored safely until your departure.
Which will be now.
I can't traipse around the woods for a week without Wi-Fi.
I need to call Mike every morning
to make sure he doesn't oversleep his alarm.
Wait a minute. So he can hear a phone call,
but he can't hear his own alarm?
I can't go MIA.SAGE: Not to worry, ladies.
There are phones and computers
available to you in the lab.
Okay, okay, fine. Fine.
There.
Thanks.
VICK: Do you have an iPad?
Oh, my God. You know what? Here's the deal.
Here, you can just take it all. No problem.
Okay? Yeah, shoot. I wanted to do a strip search.
That's not necessary.
I don't know. Just in case.
- Here we go! - Yay! Wow.
Wait. Wait for me.
NORA: What do we have here?
Miss Moon! Did a little switcheroo for you.
Think you'll like it.
Welcome to the new Sassafras.
[WOMEN CHUCKLING, EXCLAIMING SOFTLY]
[GASPS]
♪ And my heart goes Boom chicka boom... ♪
NORA: Wow. This is amazing!
♪ Chicka boom boom My heart goes... ♪
NORA: This is nicer than my condo.
You know what? This could be in a magazine.
Oh, it will be. I called in a favor from my friend Martha,
- and she zhuzhed it up for me. - Martha? As in Stewart?!
Yeah, but we're gonna have to have words.
This was supposed to be ready this morning.
Ginny, this is incredible! Thank you.
I revise what I said earlier.
You can kidnap me any time.[LAUGHING]
I figured that you could
re-ignite that passion of yours.
I haven't been on a horse in 50 years!
Well, baby, maybe it's time you got up on one.
You really are amazing, Ginny Moon.
I know! And I brought these for you.
Huh? Well...[MARY YELPS]
- What is it, though? - It's a vibrating egg.
Oh! Don't do that area.
I see a lot of these in the ER.[BUZZING]
- Oh, my God! - Remote control.
- They get stuck! - These are professional grade.
They're recommended by gynecologists
all over the United States.
Give me that back if you don't want it.
Shouldn't it be like wrapped nicely?
Reduce, reuse, recycle.
Just wash it out in the sink.
[FITZ AND THE TANTRUMS' "HANDCLAP" PLAYING]
♪ Somebody save your soul ♪
♪ 'Cause you've been Sinning in this city ♪
♪ I know too many troubles ♪
♪ All these lovers Got you losing control ♪
♪ You're like a drug to me A luxury... ♪
Love the hat.
♪ Every good night You're a hard one to hold ♪
♪ 'Cause you don't even know ♪
♪ I can make your hands clap ♪
♪ Said, I can make Your hands clap... ♪
NORA: It's my swim trophy!
- You still hold the record! - No!
So long ago. No way.
Yeah, it was way back in the old-timey days
when they still had cocaine
in the old cola.[LAUGHS]
Okay. All right. Thank you.
Come on, come on, come on.
Hi, guys.[GASPS]
- Oh, God! Oh, no! - JIMMY: You don't have to!
- Get up. - Come on.
- No, no, no! - Get up. Come on.
- Let's get a drink. - Good to see you.
- Sorry. - No, here.
What are you doing? I mean...
Okay, I'm fine. I'm sorry.
[ALL SCREAM][GROANS]
No more! No, no! You can't! What are you doing?
No, it's okay. Just don't tell my boss.
Oh, my God. You're touching my breasts!
[OVERLAPPING COMMENTS]
Well, where did they go? Oh, no.
There!
[ALL GASP] Tommy's with him.
- Oh, my God. - Tommy's-- Tommy's here.
I thought he was in Thailand.
Myanmar, actually.
But that was just a stint.
I spend most of my time in Liberia
setting up clinics.
An unapologetic overachiever, this guy.
Oh, you want an overachiever?
Our little Nora here, she's got an MBA
and a PhD in, uh, bio-something?
Yeah. Bioengineering and chemistry.
I work in R&D now testing cleaning agents and...
It doesn't matter. So... GINNY: The hell it doesn't!
You're a bleach stain away from a Nobel Prize.
Oh... No.
The Tide Pen changed my life.
[LAUGHS]
It's good to see you, Nora.
Oh! And good to see you too.
GINNY: Mary here's just as impressive.
She's the best APRN on the Eastern Seaboard.
Your patients must love you.
You should see her bedside manner.
[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]
So, um, do--
What have you been up to the last few decades?
Well, I spent most of my time overseas working,
but that takes a toll.
So I'm teaching anatomy.
At Johns Hopkins.
Wow. Professor.
Maybe you found someone smart enough
- to find his own nuts. - Oh, whoa.
If you'll excuse me, I'm gonna dip into the punch bowl.
[CHUCKLES]
Hasn't changed a bit, has she?
No. Still smells like patchouli and lighter fluid.
What are you doing these days?
You're looking at it.
I'm gainfully unemployed.
What are you gaining? I'm sorry.
My sanity. Oh.
I finally retired a few years back. Yeah.
Yeah. How long have you been married, Nora?
Oh! Oh, 34 years.
So it's serious.
[LAUGHS] [CHUCKLES]
Uh, yes, it is.
Was, I mean. He passed.
I'm sorry. No.
TOMMY: As am I.Thank you.
[MICROPHONE FEEDBACK]
Welcome, welcome, welcome
to our first ever Camp Pinnacle reunion!
[CROWD APPLAUDING, CHEERING]
This is an exciting milestone for us.
But it's an opportunity for you
to get back to your roots.
We've created a schedule
to give you a week of unencumbered fun,
reconnecting with friends.
Now, we have activities all planned,
so you can opt in or out at your leisure.
And we have a special treat to wrap up the week.
Ginny Moon is here
to share her pearls of wisdom as our closing speaker!
[ALL CHEERING, MURMURING]
- Did she tell you? - No. She didn't tell me at all.
[♪]
KRIS [OVER PHONE]: They like the name Cleanie Greenie
better than Cleanie Greens. [SIGHS]
Cleanie Greenie?
I mean, that sounds like something
an idiot toddler would come up with.
[DIAL TONE ON LINE] Hello? Kris?
AUTOMATED VOICE: You have exceeded your daily phone limit.
I need to get out of here! Ugh!
[♪]
Come on!
[VICK COUGHING]
[VICK SNEEZES]
Oh, no![GASPING]
Hi there. Excuse me. Hello? Uh, Vick, right?
You're not-- You're not supposed to be able to see me
through this two-way glass.
Well... Oh, damn it!
They must have installed it backwards!
Are you sure you can see me?
- You can? - Yes, but I'd be very happy
just to keep this on the down low
in exchange for my phone.
I just want to get-- Okay.
Ma'am, I have a police-grade Taser,
and I am not afraid to use it.
I will shove that Taser so far up your you know what!
- STEVIE D: Need reinforcement? - What? Oh!
Um, where did you come from?
Well, originally from Baltimore,
but I've been here for a half an hour.
Oh. I was just, you know...
Shoving a Taser so far up, I know. I-I heard.
Yeah. I mean, it sounded like I said that,
but I didn't really say that.
- Well. That's what I heard. - I mean, okay.
- VICK: No, she said it. - What?!
[♪]
Here. Try this.
Ooh! Ooh-hoo!
Yeah. It's a bit of a sting, huh?
- Yeah! - It's made from emulsified
jellyfish mesoglea,
ethically harvested by this farmer
that I met in Namibia.
Keep it.
Papadou sends me one every month.
What are you drawing over there?
That's a great hobby.
Let's see that masterpiece.
Oh, um...
- What is it? - Well, it was just an idea
that came to me.
Can't you just spend time with us?
- And do what? - That's it.
That's the whole shebang.
Just be present with us.
Oh.
I mean, what did you do
when it was just you and Leslie?
Well, work.
I mean, for fun.
Work.
No?
Don't get mad.
I love you.
GINNY [CHUCKLES]: I love you. Oh, hey.
I decided that we could all use
a little hydrotherapy to unwind, you know.
So I signed us all up for a lazy river excursion.
I didn't see that in the catalog.
No, no, no, no. No, no.
We're gonna get wet tomorrow. Yeah.
- Yep, whoo-hoo-hoo! - NORA: I'm gonna stay dry!
[♪]
MARY: There's nothing lazy about this river.
They must have made a mistake on the sign-up sheet.
Or you misunderstood.
- No way. - Well, we could use
some adventure, get us out of our ruts.
NORA: I can't believe I let you talk me into this.
- I'm going back to the cabin. - Come on, Nora.
- Don't you want to live a little? - I sure do.
Hence the staying on shore.
Okay?[WOMEN GIGGLING]
Oh, God.
Ladies! What a surprise.
I certainly didn't take you for the intrepid type.
Yeah. Us three? We're super adventurous.
Right?
This doesn't look too bad. Yeah?
Oh, this? This is nothing.
We took a trip to Chile together.
Ooh!
You know, Jane used to be a rafting guide.
EVELYN: Well, technically a rafting expert.
- Wow. - Let me tell you, the Andes...
- No joke. - Yeah, well...
- Nice outfits. - Yeah. Thank you.
- Bye. - Thanks so much.
Well, if anyone needs a flotation device,
they've got six.[LAUGHS]
Twelve counting the butt cheeks.
[MOCKING] Oh, yes, let's go! Oh, let's go to Chile!
Stop. You've lost your mind.
Nora, if they can do it,
- we can do it. - Okay!
- It'll be great! - Yes!
[CREEDENCE CLEARWATER REVIVAL'S "BAD MOON RISING" PLAYING]
Could we have asked for a better day, ladies?
Oh, Jimmy. Ever the optimist, eh?
Well, you live in paradise, every day's a gift, right?
I have to say, I mean, this isn't awful.
No, it's amazing!
JANE: And one, and two...
Sorry.
Hang on, Ginny!
And one... Hello!
NORA: We're losing! What can I do?
JIMMY: It's not a competition, ladies, right?
It's about having fun!
Looking good, my aqua warriors!
♪ I see The bad moon rising... ♪
MARY: Start paddling! Paddle!
I'm paddling!
Wait, are we supposed to go over that?
JIMMY: It's just a Class II.
[WOMEN SCREAMING]
GINNY: Nora!
JIMMY: Take control.
- Come on, grab it! - You're supposed to be helping!
I am helping her!
JIMMY: Super kick! Super kick!
- Grab her! - Grab on! Come on!
- GINNY: Grab on! - MARY: Come on!
GINNY: Grab on! Grab on, Nora!
Oh, please! Please... MARY: Oh, come on!
- We got you! We got you! - GINNY: Come on!
All right! That wasn't so bad.
Come on. Push your legs. Here we go!
[SCREAMS] All right.
- Give me her legs. - Here we go. Here we go.
Give me your legs.
[SCREAMS] Oh, thank you.
Nora!
MARY: Yeah, yeah. It was so...
Oh, God. I wish you could've been there, Mike!
Yeah. The water.
The water, it just rushes and rushes,
and we were-- Oh, God. Oh, it's hard to describe.
Hey, now that you're all retired, maybe we can...
Ahem. Yeah. What?
[GAME PLAYING ON TV OVER PHONE]
Just, can you turn the TV down just a little bit?
The game's almost done.
Uh, it's lights out here anyway soon.
Uh-huh.
Yeah, I... Yeah.
I'll call you tomorrow, okay?
All right. Yeah.
All right. Love you.
You too. Okay.
[DIAL TONE OVER LINE]
[♪]
[GINNY SNORING]
[SIGHING]
[SNORING CONTINUES]
[KEYBOARD CLACKING SOFTLY]
[BRANCH CRACKS]
Who's there? Hello?
I know you're out there.
STEVIE:Nora.
- Oh! Oh, my God. - It's me.
Oh. Oh my goodness.
What are you...? What were you doing out there?
Uh, trying to get your attention.
[GIGGLES] Tell me I didn't scare you.
No. No, no, no, no.[OWL HOOTING]
Be right there.
[WHISPERS] Oh, dear.
[WHISTLES SOFTLY] Wow. Um...
- Hi. - What are you doing up so late?
Well, I couldn't sleep.
I got up, went for a walk,
saw the light, saw you in here, and...
Do you want to join me?
Join you?
For a walk in the woods at night
with a man I hardly even know?
Well, when you put it that way,
it actually sounds kind of dicey, doesn't it?
I don't know. I mean, I'm still catching up on e-mails.
And not having my phone
is just kind of putting me so far behind.
Don't they keep them locked up in there?
- Yeah. - Well, I'll get it for you.
Really? But how are you gonna do that?
Um... Oh.
- Titanium. - But we're breaking in. I don't--
[GASPS] No, we're walking in.
We're gonna get in so much trouble.
It's good to see you, Nora.
Oh, my God.
- Uh, yeah. - Sassafras, is that the name?
I know. I'm looking for it. Yes.
I've got-- I don't know.
Oh! Oh...
[CHUCKLES]
Oh! Good! Yes!
- See? Did it! - There. Good.
We did it. You're bad.
Hmm. Too much credit. I'm semi-bad.
Mmm.
- VICK: What are you doing?! - Oh! Oh! Ah!
- STEVIE: Whoa! - Ah. Um...
An inside job, huh?
Hi. Are you all right?
The boss isn't gonna be happy about this.
[♪]
[SIGHING]
You are going to have to replace that monitor.
Yeah, okay. I'll go back to 1994
and see if I can find one.
Oh! Is this a joke to you?
Look, this was my fault, okay?
She actually tried to stop me.
So let her go and just cuff me.
Okay. I can do that.
'Cause I got these.
- Okay. Okay. - Yeah, I'll cuff you.
Do you see how nervous I am?
He's being so sassy to me!
You can't be like that to me!
- Okay. - VICK: Okay.
- Let's be patient with them. - Okay.
- [WHISPERS] She'll calm down. - Yes, that's it.
Are you zoned out now?
Yeah. In a good way. Good zone.
NORA: Maybe it's time for us to just say goodbye...
Yeah....and appreciate
- what you've given us, okay? - Yeah.
We should all go out together, maybe on a weekend?
- VICK: Yeah? - That is such a great idea.
- Yeah. That would be good. - I wouldn't mind that.
We could go to Chili's.
NORA: Uh, Chili's... They all know me there.
- Oh, they do? - Uh-huh.
Some of the best food ever, right?
Yeah! Southwestern eggrolls.
- STEVIE: Yeah, yeah. Wow. - Gosh!
- They are delicious. - I can just house
the whole plate of those, you know?
I bet you could. I bet you could.
What is that supposed to mean?
[GASPS, WHISPERS] Oh, my God.
[YELPS] Oh, sorry! Ha-ha!
Where the hell have you been?
We were worried sick!
I was just, uh...
Well, Stevie D and I, we got into some trouble.
- What kind of trouble? - Tell us everything!
If you kissed, you sure as hell better tell!
Please let us live vicariously.
He took me to the security office to get my phone.
Oh.
And then you kissed?
No! We broke in!
With a credit card.
And then he found my phone.
- And then you kissed! - No, no, no.
But, well, there was a moment...
- Ooh, a moment! - But then we were caught!
By Vick!
That traitor! She's here to protect and to serve,
not buzzkill and cockblock!
So when did you...?
There was no kiss. It was invigorating, though.
And he's such a gentleman, my God.
Two peas in a celibate pod.[BOTH LAUGH]
You're going to have to make the first move
if you want to get anywhere.
Still, this is the most exciting thing
that's happened to any of us
since Gin told us about her threesome
with Tony Robbins backstage at Super Soul Sunday.
I never said that! I signed an NDA.
Oh, wait, wait. Who was the third?
Was it Oprah?
It wasn't not Oprah.
[LAUGHS]
Sometimes I wish Mike
would just--Die.
No! It's just that...
maybe I wish that I didn't get married.
Like you. You're lucky.
Well, it wasn't about luck.
I chose to stay single.
You did?
Don't get me wrong, I love men. But I...
I just love my independence more.
I'm sure marriage works for plenty of people,
but I'm just too damn happy being on my own.
Do you ever get lonely, though?
No. No?
Not since I hit menopause.
Oh.
You? Me?
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Sometimes. Yeah. Hmm.
Well, I-I guess sometimes I do too,
but it's like 80% happy and 20% longing.
You know, instead of 20% happy
and 80% longing for less bullshit.
[LAUGHS] Less of the, "Where are you?
Why won't you call? Where's dinner?"
You know, and I just feel that that 20% of loneliness,
hmm, you know, I just don't need
a romantic partner to fill that.
That's true.
I-- I'm not lonely when I'm with you two.
[♪]
[CROWING]
[ALARM CLOCK BEEPING]
NORA: Gin!
- Whoa! - Wake up!
Your alarm has been going off for an hour.
What do you ladies think about
hitting up the old Sky Canopy course?
I think I've had my fill of adventure.
You barely dipped a toe in.
I dipped considerably more than a toe in,
thank you very much.
- You know what? - MARY: What?
Why don't you choose today's activity, huh?
Excellent idea! What's the plan, Mare?
Today is your day!
There's a pottery workshop at noon.
- No. No. - Oh. No, no, no.
Sorry. I'm out on that one.
Well, better luck next time, Robin Hood.
All right. Sighted the target.
Oh! Oh, my God! I'm sorry.[LAUGHING]
- Saved it! - Hi.
- Still good. - Oh, still good.
- Do you have any tips? - I'm not an expert.
Or an intermediate. I've never actually touched a bow.
It seems like they're a bit short-staffed around here,
wouldn't you say? No, I--
- No? - I just got transferred
out of water sports. Making moves. Lateral moves.
Did it have anything to do
with ejecting Nora from our raft?
That may have been a part of it. Yeah.
I also set the boat house on fire.
I saw a beaver building a lodge
out of the wreckage. So...
- GINNY: Uh-huh. - Win-win.
- Right. - I wouldn't mind
shooting another one, if you don't mind.
Thanks so much. It's really great.
Okay, ready? There we go.
- Now, if I just-- Shut up. - Turn it around, sweetheart.
You guys always-- You're so... Okay.
I got it. Geez, man.
GINNY: Incoming! Take cover.
You ladies mind if we join you?
- Whoa! Swing it around, Nora! - Oh, my God.
I should've gone to pottery class.
Look, we're very self-sufficient.
No mansplaining necessary. Thanks.
My battle scar would say otherwise.
Oh, my God! You still have a scar?
I'm sorry. I should've used sutures instead of super glue.
You were 12.
Well, you ladies enjoy the patriarchy.
Oh, excuse me, I mean archery.
I'm gonna go work on my speech.
Would you wanna see if the pottery class
would take some newcomers?
Absolutely.
So, Nora... Yes?
You're very, very good at this.
Oh, shh! I'm...
Yeah, I know. I'm-- I'm kidding.
But maybe with a few pointers,
- you know, a few tips. - Mm, okay.
- Somebody say tips? - Uh-huh. Yeah, tips.
Uh, private conversation, but...
- Yeah. - Let's keep it that way.
- Bye, Jimmy. Bye-bye. Thanks. - Good, good.
No, I think, uh...
I think there's a future here.[LAUGHS]
[♪]
TOMMY: Oh, yeah. That's slippery.
♪ Come on over ♪
♪ A little closer ♪
Oh, my. [LAUGHING]
♪ And let me feel Your love vibration ♪
TOMMY: It's not me, it's the clay.
That's okay.
♪ Look over at me... ♪
Ready to start drilling?[CLEAR THROAT, SNICKERS]
Okay.
♪ I've got the feeling ♪
♪ I need for you ♪ ♪ Hey, hey, hey... ♪
That's it.[BOTH LAUGHING]
Stop!
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATION]
[SHUSHES][SNICKERS]
Looks like an Ice cream cone.
You're supposed to shape it.
Oh, no! Oh! Uh-oh!
I hope you're not staring at my ass.
Huh? No! No.
I was checking out your technique.
I mean, my God.
Okay. It's just I get a little nervous...
Oh. Okay, I understand....with you standing
right behind me.
It's a fabulous technique actually.
Eight out of ten.
- Wow! - All right, I'll take an 8.
[CHUCKLES] Okay.
Let's see what you can do, Nora.
Oh, okay. Fine. Oh.
So... So, thank you.
- All right. - Do you think--?
- Well, you look good. - Uh-huh.
But your form...
And now let's-- Let's work with the bow.
- Mm-hmm. - I want-- I want you to...
You don't mind me...?No, no. That's fine.
I know what you're thinking.
Okay, you're thinking, "Wow. This is a move."
This is not a move. 'Cause I don't have moves.
I'm just... I'm just trying to help.
- Okay? - Okay.
Now let's just bring this elbow
- up this way, okay? - Mm-hmm.
Now let's focus on our breathing, okay?
Nice and easy. Nice and easy. Inhale.
And exhale. Focus on the target.
Slowly bring the drawstring back.
And... release.
I can't believe... We did it!
- We did it! - I wasn't expecting that!
[BOTH LAUGHING]
[♪]
[EXCLAIMING, LAUGHING]
[HORSE WHINNIES]
Thank you.
Oh, dear.
[GASPS] What?
Where did you get that?
Bargain Republic?
- What? - I'd never have approved that.
Martha's gonna have hell to pay
- if she put that in. - I had it
in my "in case of an emergency" bag, okay?
We're trying to get you laid,
not promoted to mid-management.
- Laid, Gin? Really? - What?
Banged? Bedded? Schtupped?
Is anybody really having sex anymore?
Oh, Mare, come on.
I'm having sex right now.
[BUZZING] Aah! Oh, God!
Don't touch me with those things.
Maybe you should get out of your comfort zone.
And by "comfort zone," I mean your marriage.
I heard that.
You don't have to be forced to keep a promise
you made 45 years ago
if it's making you miserable.
And that goes for relationships and careers.
[GASPS] No, no.
Couldn't you at least let me do something?
[NORA SIGHS][CHUCKLES]
- Nora! - That bad, huh? Really?
- No! - Really?
- Hot! - I mean, who is that?
So you like it? And you doubted me.
Yeah. I-I...
Well, I do look not bad.
No, you look hot!
Better than hot. You look like a bad bitch.
- A bad-- What? - Say it with me.
Say it with you."I am..."
I am.
"...a bad bitch."
I'm not gonna say that.
Why would I call myself a...
We have reclaimed that word
- for decades. Say it! - I think you should say it.
It's just positive affirmations.
- Okay, fine! - You're not a gentle bitch.
I am a...
[WHISPERS] bad...
bad, bad bitch.
- No, not good? - That sounds sexy.
Okay, not that. I am a bad bitch.
- Say it like you mean it. - I'm just a bad bitch!
- Is that good? - Say it like you mean it.
I am a bad bitch!
[WHOOPS] Bad bitch!
- You scared me! - I scared me!
- Okay. You say it. - I'm a bad bitch.
- Get your... in that chair. - I'm a bad bitch.
Ooh, look at her. Ooh!
What-- Where you going?
Do I walk like that?
Your bone structure is... Oh... Oh!
Then why do I need a ton and a half of makeup
- to make me look presentable? - That is so not true!
You don't. This isn't about makeup.
Or how to look for anyone else.
It's-- It's about feeling cared for.
Been a while since I felt that.
Me too.
We've got a lot of amazing years ahead of us.
[LAUGHS] So we can always make time
to have fun and pamper ourselves.
Ooh!
[CHUCKLES]
GINNY: If you don't take ownership,
you'll always be weak.
I'm responsible for the way others treat me.
[WOMAN SOBBING] So sad.
Thank you. Thank you.
GINNY: All right, so...
who else is ready to get their shit together with Ginny Moon?
Jane Goodman! Come on down!
MARY: Well, this should be interesting.
GINNY: Okay, sit down.
So, what's your problem?
Actually, I don't have a problem.
I'm just such a fan.
GINNY: Oh. Hmm.
So, what you're telling me is you're...
Happy. Mm-hmm. For the most part.
- Oh, for the most part. - Mm-hmm.
Which parts aren't happy?
EVELYN: What about JP?
Her son was arrested for defacing a public monument.
He was on bath salts!
She told me she was waiting for Evelyn to pass,
so she can swoop in on her husband.
JANE: That was a joke. I was kidding!
I'm married. Happily.
We are the picture of marital bliss.
I am so lucky. Blessed.
Grateful. Always.
Are you?
It sounds like you're hiding behind
a lot of socially-sanctioned hashtags.
[♪]
Okay, fine! Fine.
I haven't had sex with my husband
since I started experiencing age-related pubic hair loss.
And, yes, it's a thing.
My arm Spanx are cutting off my circulation.
My hands are numb and this freaking fire
is melting my face tapes!
[TAPE RIPPING] I'm just so sick...
of trying to be pretty![GASPING]
Looking for approval from people I don't even like!
Damn it! Get off of there!
Wow.
Jane...
what does that feel like,
to be vulnerable like that,
to just be plain old Jane?
What did you say?
Let's all give Jane a big hand.
[CROWD APPLAUDING] Thank you. Yeah.
And, uh, we better move this along.
Thank you, Jane. Thank you, Jane.
Uh... Um, can she
come back and sit up there with--?
Would you rather be sitting
with somebody else at this point?
No, I...Okay. It's all right.
Oh! Thank you. Go. There you go, Jane.
Wow. Wow.
MARY: How could you hurt Jane's feelings?
GINNY: She'll be fine. Some tough love,
and she'll come back stronger.
Let's celebrate. What'll it be?
I've got red, white or tequila.
MARY: No, no. I haven't had this much to drink
- since college. Oh! - Oh, no!
- Are you okay? - No, no, no!
Don't go to bed! Don't go to bed!
You can't sleep.
No. That got me all pumped up.
Um, let me do my keynote for you.
[SNIFFS][NORA SNORING]
NORA: Oh, I'm sorry! Oh, yes, of course.
The-- You're gonna do the keynote.
Attention. Attention.
Real eyes...
realize...
real lies.
And you're all lying!
To yourselves, to others.
Only the truth will set you free.
- That's true. - No. I'm not done. No, I'm...
Wait a minute. Okay. Here it is. I am Ginny Moon,
and I'm here to cut through your bullshit
so you're nothing but a quivering husk of truth.
What does that even mean?
MARY: No, it's-- It's aggressive.
It's a little aggressive,
but I think what she is trying to get
her audience to do is to tap into their own vulnerability.
Oh, blech, you can't be subtle with these people.
I'm gonna lobotomize their lies.
Oh, that's really great.
I think I should write that down.
- Isn't that great? - Speechless!
Good night, girls.
Ginny, I think it'd be stronger
if you just speak from your heart, girl.
Pull on some of the camp experiences
that you've had.
People respond to that.
Thanks, little lamb.
I really wasn't looking to workshop this.
NORA: Can we just turn off the light?
Did you call me a lamb?
[BLEATS] Oh!
[♪]
[WHISPERING] Come on.
We'll bring back a plate for her.
What are you two doing up so early?
It's 10 o'clock.
We're about to miss breakfast.
What? Oh, my God! Yeah.
Let me get my shoes. Yeah, fine.
Good morning.
I tied on one too many nightcaps last night.
Oh, my. You ladies look bright-eyed.
[GIGGLES] MIKE: Mary!
MARY: Mike?
Uh, what are you doing here?
I... wasn't able to reach you.
I just didn't know if anything were...
Or if something was wrong.
Tommy. Mike.
Good to meet you.
I'll catch up with you ladies later.
They took our phones when we got here. I told you.
But you said you'd call from the community phone.
- I did. - Yeah. Once.
I got busy. I'm sorry.
Uh, did you get busy,
or were you busy getting bullied by...
I don't really want to talk about this here.
Okay. How about we talk about it in the car,
on the way home?
Hey, you guys, go on to breakfast without me.
- I'll catch up with you. - Oh. You sure, huh?
You sure? Yes.
Yeah. Okay.
[♪]
Where are your bags?
Um, you're welcome to stay if you'd like,
but camp ends on Sunday,
and I'll go home then.
I never agreed to you flitting off
and disappearing for a week.
In 45 years, have you ever known me
to flit anywhere?
I don't know.
You know, none of this is you.
The Mary I know
would've been checking in every morning.
She would've wanted to know
if I made it to Andrew's swim meet
and whether we had gone out to the Longhorn.
She wouldn't have just disappeared!
The Mary you know hasn't been happy for 20 years, Mike.
I'm finally having fun.
Well, that's news to me.
I'm sure it is.
You don't notice anything
until it directly affects you.
I allowed my needs, what I wanted
to take a backseat to you
and to John, Andrew, to people in distress.
- Oh, okay. It's about work. - No. I like my work.
I told you you didn't have to work.
How many times have I said that I would support you?
NORA: Are you getting any info?
- Shut up. - Oh, shut up, okay?
- You shut up. - You shut up.
- Shut up. - I am shut up.
Financially, yes. Emotionally, no.
- Good for her, man. - Good for her!
What you're talking about is not support.
It's ownership.
Ownership?!
Okay, um...
I let you come here.
But now it's time to go home.
No.
I don't know what you want.
I want you to care about me.
Care about the things I care about.
Right now...
I want to stay here with my friends.
[BOTH GIGGLING QUIETLY]
Yeah, I'll...
I'll be back to pick you up on Sunday.
Why does everything he says sound like a threat?
Who does he think he is?
- I don't know. - I never liked him.
- No, no, no. - He's cute though.
- I'm sorry. I didn't say that. - You think everybody's cute.
I do not.
Drive safe!
Good riddance!
Hope you can take your eyes off your ego
long enough to keep 'em on the road!
Oh! "Eyes off your ego."
I should write that down.
- Mare. - Little lamb.
How much of that did you hear?
Basically all of it.
But are you okay?
I-- I just feel so... relieved!
[SIGHS]
Like a got a 100-pound weight
off my shoulders!
I know it's not a big deal,
but I feel like I got some kind of a super power.
That's the power of no.
Feels good, right?
Yeah.
Well, I think, I mean in honor
of this momentous occasion,
Mary gets to choose our next activity.
Yes!
Do you still want to do the pottery?
[♪]
[HORSE WHINNIES]
Hey, Mare. You sure you're up for this?
- You smell that? - Oh, yeah.
This is pure affection.
Ladies! You ready to tear up some turf?
Yeah. So archery didn't work out either, eh?
I'm still exploring. Finding my strengths.
You're never too old to try something new, right?
Like probation, which, incidentally, I am now on.
Oh.
[BONES CRUNCH][GROANS]
Oh! Oh!
Oh! Oh, oh...
[CLICKS TONGUE] Come on. Up!
Oh, God![EXHALING HEAVILY]
Sorry. Such a powerful beast. Whoo!
I think, uh, maybe it's better I just observe.
Whoo-hoo!
- My God! - She's still got it!
She sure does.
I had no idea she was such an adrenaline junkie.
STEVIE: Wow.
- You gonna ride? - Well, I would,
but I forgot my chaps at home.
[GINNY & NORA LAUGH]
[♪]
Hey, guys! Watch this! Whoo!
JIMMY: I'm not sure that's a good idea.
Should she be going that fast?
- MARY: Jimmy! - My boss is gonna kill me!
- Whoa, whoa, whoa! - Oh!
[BOTH GASPING]
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
[HORSE NEIGHS] GINNY: Ai-ai-ai!
NORA: Oh! Mary!
MARY: Why did you jump in front of me?
Are you okay?
- Jimmy! Aah! - Sorry. Sorry.
Here. Here you go.
- Okay. - I'm okay!
TOMMY: Mare, you good?
- Yes! - I'll get the horse.
TOMMY: Would you like some help up?
I got it.
[ALL CHUCKLING]
You got a little schmutz...
- like everywhere. - Where? Where is it?
Well, since we've worked up an appetite,
um, you care to join us for dinner tonight?
Oh, well, I mean, that'd be great,
but I'm not sure Mare's up to...
We'd love to!
- Good. - Oh, God.
Good. Then it's a date!
Bravo.
Wait... Wait a minute.
Did he just say...?
[♪]
Well, the food hasn't changed.
No, it hasn't.
Davidson, I hear
your son's doing big things in the city.
Jamie? Yeah, well, smart kid.
Good business sense.
Although that whole crypto thing
still makes my head spin.
Make way, boys.
- Ladies. - Wow.
We were starting to think you were standing us up!
Nora, there's a seat... Oh, thank you.
...if you wanna take that. You know what?
Why don't we look for another table?
No. You two, you're off the team.
- Oh, Ginny! - What?
It's okay. They were one drink away
from passing out anyway.
[GIGGLES] Ginny, congrats
on an amazing career.
I hear you're quite the self-help guru now.
Aah! Ugh! Stevie D,
it's frowned upon to refer to ourselves as gurus.
We're not a cult.
Well, maybe you can give me some tips.
Uh, no, I'm sorry. You know,
after my third bestseller, I just...
I don't do one-on-one's anymore.
We're going global. Basically, I'm the next Dr. Phil.
But not a doctor.
Uh, Brené Brown.
Again, not a doctor.
GINNY: You either, Mary.
I can get an honorary PhD
just by picking up the phone.[TOMMY COUGHING]
- Tommy? - Tommy? You okay?
[CHOKING] Here.
Probably just a chicken wing down the old windpipe.
It'll work its way out. Do you want some of my Scotch?
[GROANING] Oh! Okay.
[ALL EXCLAIM]
- What a launch! - Uh-oh.
He had a chicken bone caught in his throat.
We were doing the Heimlich. That's why it...
- Hey, man, I was choking. - STEVIE: It wasn't meant for you.
[SCREAMS]
What the...? I see where this is going.
Food fight!
[ALL CLAMORING]
STEVIE: Let's go!
Unless you want to be in a Stooges' movie,
let's get out of here!
[GRUNTING]
Down, baby, down!
Here! Here! Here!
Get control! You've gotta stop this from happening!
[SWEET'S "BALLROOM BLITZ" PLAYING]
♪ It was like lightning ♪
♪ Everybody was frightening ♪
♪ And the music was soothing... ♪
We've got a 10-34 in progress!
Hot dog and baked potato bombs,
weenie grenades. Whoa!
♪ And it turned into A ballroom blitz ♪
♪ The girl in the corner said "Boy, I wanna warn you"... ♪
Ms. Moon is compromised! I'm going in!
[GROANING]
Officer down! Officer down!
[GROANS]
[STEVIE CHUCKLES]
That's the reason... NORA: Yes?
...I was hesitant to come
to this damn thing in the first place.
Where's the door?
You know, this is not
how I hoped dinner would go tonight.
I'm still hungry.
Well... Yeah, and--
This is a kitchen.
[SIGHS]
So, what's for dinner, chef?
- Oh, no, no, no. - No?
The only thing I know how to make is...
Is? A reservation.
[SIGHS, CHUCKLES] Yeah.
Right.
But, under the circumstances, um...
I think I might be able
- to come up with something. - Oh!
[CHUCKLES] What do we have?
Cream cheese and lox.
[WHISPERS] I am a bad bitch.
Come again?
I was just talking to myself. It's nothing.
I do that a lot, and...
Interesting conversation.[LAUGHS]
Okay. Here we go.
Now the magic happens.
You know, I've been forcing myself...
- to go with the flow more. - Oh, uh-huh.
You know, this is...
Well, you know, I mean, practice makes perfect.
Yeah. Or you realize there is no perfect.
- Oh! - Uh-uh. Not yet.
[♪]
Oh! Ooh...
I mean, what just... What just happened?
I think you just initiated something.
You leaned in.
I leaned in
to grab the pepper grinder.
Oh.
Nora. What?
I think it's great that you made the first move.
I didn't! You do?
- Yeah. - I'm a bad bitch.
Uh, I wouldn't say that.
No, no, no, no. Of course you wouldn't.
But anyway, thank you for inviting us...
or me tonight or whatever.
I had fun. I had fun.
- Yeah? Me too. - Yeah.
I could walk you home.
I think I'm going to go and catch up with the girls.
Well then, I guess I'll just go.
- Okay. - Yeah, okay. That's fine.
So we'll, uh...
So we'll......see you, then.
Sure. Yeah.
That's great. That's great. Sure.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God! I can't...
[THUDS] Oh! Oh, sorry!
- You okay? - I was just cleaning up.
You know how it goes. Yeah.
I think it'll be fine. Good night.
Great seeing you.
- Good night. - Good night.
Hey!
Oh, my God, that's a heavy table.
Is this hickory?
I'm gonna throw up.
[♪]
[EXHALES SHARPLY]
[GINNY & MARY LAUGHING]
♪ Stevie and Nora Sitting in a tree ♪
♪ K-I-S-S-I-N-G ♪No, no! No!
Is that a Sun Chip?[LAUGHS]
Oh, no! No, no, no.
I know you want it. You know you want it.
God, you're getting food all over the place.
- What are you doing anyway? - Get the mop, Mary.
Mary, get the mop.
You get the mop.
Hmm?
If you notice that somebody needs to mop,
then you can do it
instead of just pointing it out! Geez!
Mike does that all the time. Aah!
- I'm so sick of it. - You see?
- This isn't about me. - Yeah. Actually it is.
All I ever get from you, Gin, is judgment.
- Me? - Yes! You!
Mike. And everybody in my life!
Oh, boo-hoo, honey.
If you wanted to make a change,
you would have.
It is not that easy, Ginny Moon.
It is that easy.
You have to take some ownership of your situation.
Clearly you like being a doormat
or you would've packed your bags
- a long time ago. - NORA: Hey!
Hey, hey, wait a second.
There was no reason to tear her down!
GINNY: Tear her down?
That's all I've been hearing for 20 years.
- Get your shit together, Mary! - No, no. Enough!
You know, that may be your mantra, okay?
But it's not fair to force it on...
- Oh, here we go. - What?
It's squeaky-clean Nora.
Scrubbing up all our problems,
shoving them under the rug,
covering them up with work-work-work.
You know, if you stay busy enough,
maybe you'll never have to confront...
Okay! You tell me who else
is going to pay my bills?! Huh?
Nora, you got plenty of money.
And maybe you could have someone
if you weren't so addicted to the grind.
You're on autopilot, baby!
Oh, thank you, babe. Thank you.
Thank you for your armchair analysis.
And I feel so much better.
I'm not gonna engage with you on this
because you're not coming from your authentic self.
What? Oh, yeah?
That's really ironic coming from Ginny Moon
aka Jennifer Moskowitz.
[GASPS] What?
Oh, what?! No! Oh, okay.
- That's it for you. Oh! - Oh! Ow!
Oh, yeah. Like that hurt, huh?
- Huh? - Huh?
Huh?
Oh! Oh, dear!
Oh, my God! Your face!
Nora! What? Oh!
Is that your cell phone?
Have you had your phone on you this entire time?!
No!
Oh, okay, I-- Aah!
Don't lie to us!
What's the big deal? I wasn't even using it.
Big deal is that I needed a phone
to check in on my family.
Nora needed a phone to check in at work,
and you were hiding one!
But the rules don't apply to you, do they, Ginny?
[STAMMERS] Do you even care about us?
- No, no, no. No! - Oh!
- Stop. - Of course I care about you!
You think I would've done all this
just to get you two to gang up on me?
I spent a quarter of a million dollars
setting this whole thing up.[GASPING]
This whole reunion was you?
Was this all some big scheme
to just... to fix us?
It was the only way I could get the two of you
to spend time with me.
- You're a psychopath. - No, no-- Oh!
- At least I'm on a path, babe. - No, no--!
To destruction!
You may not like my methods,
but I'm helping people!
Well, maybe people don't want to be helped!
Okay, that's it. I'm leaving. Oh!
Not if I leave first!
Oh, fuck you, pillow.
Okay. If you're gonna go, just go!
Take a hike![DOOR SLAMS]
[♪]
[GROANS]
No.
[GROANING SOFTLY]
Oh. Gotcha.
[MUTTERS INDISTINCTLY]
Oh...
[LAUGHS]
AUTOMATED VOICE: Alarm engaged. Sound in three, two, one...
[ALARM BLARING] Oh, my God!
Wait a minute! Hold the phone!
It's 2-5-2-5.
[ALARM STOPS][SIGHS]
Oh, my God. My goodness.
AUTOMATED VOICE: Hello, Ginny Moon.
Oh. I'll just log in as myself.
There you go.
Call Kris Thompson-Grey.
Did you say call Christ Church Alliance?
No, no! No, no, no, no. Call Kris--
[HORN HONKS] Aah! Thompson-Grey!
No, no, no, no. Calling Christ Church Alliance.
Hang up! Oh, shoot. Oh, God![LINE RINGS]
WOMAN [ON RECORDING]: Hello, you've reached...
Goddamn it, you piece of shit! - Christ Church Alliance.
[LINE DISCONNECTS] Okay.
AUTOMATED VOICE: You have 244 unread messages.
[SIGHS]
Okay. Calm down.
[CRYING]
Aah! Oh! Oh...
Nora? Is that you?
Good morning.
What are you doing sleeping in this thing?
I just dozed off. It's nothing, you know.
- I'm fine. - Can I come in?
Well, yes.
Wow! Yeah.
Very cool.
NORA: Yep.
Yeah. Must be nice to have famous friends, huh?
- Of course. - Is that, uh...
- What? Huh? - Is that barbecue sauce?
Huh?
[MONITOR CHIMES] Ugh.
Nora. Have you been working all night?
No, no, no. No.
What?
- No. - No, really, just tell me.
Go ahead. You can say it. I see your face.
- Yeah. Yeah, I know. - Well, what is it?
- It's nothing. - Is it pity or disappointment?
It's not-- I could never be disappointed in you.
It's... What?
It's recognition. Okay?
I was this close to being in your same place.
But you're further gone than I was.
Well, always an overachiever.
If I'm gonna be a workaholic,
then I'm gonna be the best one there is!
It's a drug. It's a hard habit to kick, believe me.
When you're addicted to your work...
rock bottom feels like...
winning.
[MONITOR DINGS] Huh?
Oh. Oh, God.
It's, uh... Oh.
You know what? I'll, uh...
- I'll leave you to it. - Oh.
Oh, okay. Fine. Bye.
[SIGHS]
[♪]
[EXHALES DEEPLY]
You know what?
Ah, shit.
Um...
Hey!
[SOFTLY] Hey.
Just...
[LEAVES CRACKLING][SCREAMS]
I thought you were a bear.
I wish.
You do?
No. I was gonna think of something
charming to say, and then you startled me
when you screamed.[CHUCKLES]
[SIGHS]
Oh, wait. Were you having a contemplative moment?
I'm sorry if I disturbed you.
No, you didn't. Come on. I'd like the company. Sit.
Coffee?
Yes, please.
I never do things like this.
What? Take a walk in the woods?
I mean, just putting myself first.
You know, I raised my kids.
Now I'm raising grandkids.
I take Camille to ballet class.
I gotta cover people's shift at work.
Help Mike find a caboose for his vintage train set.
Oh, heh! Sorry.
I just unloaded all that.[CHUCKLES]
Sorry.
No. You don't have to apologize.
Sorry. Oh, I...
[BOTH LAUGHING]...said it again. All right.
Okay. You know, not to overstep.
Mary, I think you're a whole lot more capable
than you give yourself credit for.
I think so too.
I mean, there's so many things that I have always wanted.
I had beautiful children. I've got a lovely home.
Everybody's healthy. Who am I to want more?
But I do, Tommy.
I could've been a doctor.
I should have been a doctor.
I was at the top of my med school class.
Then I got pregnant.
[CHUCKLES] Oh, God.
Oh! I can't believe I said all that out loud.
- It's okay. - Oh, no. I'm sorry.
I just-- I hijacked the whole conversation,
making it about me.
But it's nice just to be able to speak.
I am so, so tired of shutting up.
Can you say something now?
No. I'm just here to hear.
I enjoy listening to you.
That is an underrated skillset.
Hey, um, do you think we could do this again sometime?
I promise I will...
I'll let you get a word in every now and then.
You sure about that?
[BOTH LAUGH]
Stop! God.
[SIGHS] I used to love swimming.
I'd wake up every morning to do laps before work.
[CHUCKLES]
Every part of that sounds miserable to me.
[LAUGHS] Okay?
- Okay. - Why did you quit?
Oh, I let work creep in and consume everything.
I set boundaries for my life now.
Small step, but seems to be working.
Well, no one is gonna be able to take on what I do.
Well, someone thinks highly of herself.
Oh, no.
Okay. What would happen if you died?
- Oh. - Too morbid?
Someone would step in...
Mm-hmm....and figure it out.
And if they didn't, you wouldn't care.
- You'd be dead. - Can we just stop talking
about me being dead?
- Yes. Okay. Sure. - Okay.
One more thing about being dead.
Okay, one more thing about being...
- But it's about me. - Okay. It's about you.
So I'm guessing that's a better scenario for you.
That is arguably worse.
Well, I'll take that as a compliment.
Sixteen years ago, I had a heart attack.
- Oh. - Big one.
Next morning, I wake up in a hospital room.
Oh...
Now, if this was a movie... Yeah?
...and let's say Tom Hanks was playing me,
he would've woken up in that hospital room
- surrounded by loved ones. - Yeah.
Well, it didn't happen that way.
I woke up alone.
So, what, you just decided to change like that?
The meeting I was in
was to discuss selling the company.
- Uh-huh. - My collapsing in the board room
didn't do much to, uh, instill confidence.
So between the bed rest
and the, uh, hostile takeover,
I had a lot of time to think about
what I had done and not done with my life.
'Cause when my kids finally did show up,
they weren't buying the, uh,
It's a Wonderful Life epiphany
their father had just experienced.
Oh. But then, so what did you do?
- I started showing up. - Oh.
It's never-ending.
- Okay? - Mm-hmm.
I have to pretend still to love golf
just so I can spend four hours a week with my son.
But things are a lot better now with him
than, uh... Than they were.
Life is more than work, Nora.
I don't know. I don't.
I just feel like work is all I have anymore.
- You've got your friends. - Mm-hmm.
If they don't hate me for neglecting them
for the last 40 years.
You're too lovable to hate.
[SIGHS]
I was thinking, and I don't want to be too forward.
It would be nice to see you again.
In the real world?
- Yeah. - Uh-huh.
Do you have a business card?
[LAUGHS]
[MAN WHOOPS] Oh!
Yeah![NORA LAUGHING]
[♪]
[SOFTLY] Shit.
A wise man once said, "that's what friends are for!"
But for what?
He didn't clarify. He didn't...
[SIGHS]
Because a wise man,
maybe he doesn't even have any real friends.
Shit.
Um...
Sometimes friends turn their backs on you...
just for years!
I'm not naming any names.
Mary. Nora.
[METAL CLATTERS]
Are you cleaning up deer shit?
Yeah. They don't trust me to do anything else and...
I don't make sense in a lot of working environments, so...
Yeah. Deer shit. Scat.
It's probably a good idea to leave the scat.
It's a natural fertilizer.
If you were lonely,
why didn't you just call your friends?
You didn't have to orchestrate a reunion
just to give them a speech.
Yeah, I knew you were eavesdropping on me.
You were pretty loud.
Okay. I see what you're doing.
You're just trying to flip this thing back on me.
You know, they would never have agreed to hang with me
- if I just called 'em. - How do you know?
Because I know.
- What if you're wrong? - It's never happened.
Well, maybe in an effort to keep your friends close,
you ended up trying to control things
so you wouldn't get hurt.
No offense, but you're not smart enough
to psychoanalyze me.
That hurt my feelings.
Um, by the way, there's E. coli in deer scat,
and it's not safe to have around kids.
So it does need to get picked up.
[♪]
[SIGHING]
[RATTLING AT DOOR]
[GASPS] Oh! God. Oh, no! Wait a second.
Okay. There. There.
MARY: Nora?
Oh! Nora?
Oh, God. Oh, God.
Stop. It's just me.
Oh, thank goodness. I'm so grateful.
So stupid.
Having to creep around
so I can shower and get ready.
At least you had an out.
I had a full night of her in my ear all night
- while I was trying to sleep. - Did she just go on and on
about how awful I am?
Probably. I put in earplugs.
I tuned her butt out.
[GROANS] I mean, this whole thing
is just so weird.[SIGHS]
Like, who replaces their friends' entire wardrobe?
She has to curate everything,
down to the silk neckerchief.
She always has.
Remember when she insisted
on throwing John a bar mitzvah?
I had to drive him to the Hebrew tutor
for six months straight!
We're Episcopalian!
But it was a great party, though.
It was a great party.
Yeah. Yeah.
Oh...
You know what, this...
This scarf is very you.[KISSES]
Yeah. It is, isn't it?
Nora? What?
Are we the assholes?
No!
Well, I forgot her birthday this year!
Oh, I know. I read about it in People,
then I sent her some flowers a week late.
You know what? I didn't send anything.
I mean, when is her birthday? I don't know!
It's in January. January 20...
- I feel so bad. - Third? It's one of the 20s.
Maybe we are the assholes.
I don't know what to make of me.
Oh, shit. Yeah.
Ooh...
Assholes.
[CROWD CHEERING, WHISTLING]
Thank you, thank you. Thank you so much for having me.
And, um, I think you should give yourselves
a big round of applause
for making it through seven days in bunk beds.
[ALL LAUGH]
It's not as easy 60 years down the line.
[ALL LAUGH]
So, um... Uh...
[♪]
Is it just me, or is it really warm up here?
[QUIETLY] What's going on?
It's just... It's just me, okay.
Um...
A lot of-- A lot of us have gotten
settled in our ways.
Stuck in a rut.
Get your shit together!
I don't know if that was at me or with me.
Uh, but I'm just...
I'm now realizing it's...
It's a very aggressive thing to say to someone
when they may be trying their best.
And that's why I loved
the idea of a camp reunion.
Aw... To get everyone
out of their comfort zones.
Which I am now, apparently.
And you know what?
[CROWD MURMURING]
It is what it is.
The pressure of trying to be perfect all the time
and in control is just...
It's just infuriating!
Spoiler alert:
I don't have my shit together!
Sometimes-- Oftentimes,
it's just out of your control.
And you can't...
You know, if you... If you try to...
If you try to hold on to things...
If you-- If you try...
If you...
If you try to hold onto things,
they break.
[♪]
I thought organizing this weekend
would force my friends to...
- To see that they needed me. - Oh...
To optimize their own lives.
But that's not what happened.
[SNIFFLING]
The most wonderful moments we had all week
were just totally unexpected.
Because it didn't matter what was happening
as long as we were all together.
And I guess that's the point of camp.
To reclaim that... That childhood nonchalance.
Because that's when meaningful change happens.
When you feel safe enough to let your guard down.
So I hope all of you
have let your shit hang out this week.
[CROWD CHUCKLES]
And I hope you have many more
of those messy moments,
because it's more important being together
than having your shit together.
Thank you.
[CROWD CHEERING, APPLAUDING]
[♪]
Gin.
You didn't have to pay for all of this
to get us to hang out with you.
I didn't know.
I've just...
been there...
living vicariously through your life events.
Weddings, baptisms...
Funerals.
Well, yeah.
But I've never had one of my own.
Not a funeral, but, I mean...
a life event.
And I wanted to create one...
with the two of you.
[SIGHS]
My family.
But I understand if you're both mad, so...
We can say goodbye now.
You can head out early to the airport.
Well, since tomorrow is our last day...
well, what would you think about
maybe giving the Sky Canopy a try?
Really?
Hell yeah!
[LAUGHS]
[♪]
Aah! Oh, no, no. Oh, God.
What was I thinking?
You'll be fine. You're 100 feet up, tops.
Are you qualified for this?
I got a new gig. Yeah.
I hired him to be my media manager.
- What? - Generating content as we expand
into the digital space.
He thinks I'm very meme-able.
Apparently I excel in a more hands-off approach.
Oh! There you go. Oh, God!
Oh, please! Oh, no, no, no!
Nora. We'll be with you the entire time.
[SCREAMS]
No, stop it! Please!
JIMMY: I actually this the squirrel cage
because, uh, they used to call me
squirrelly in junior college.
I didn't graduate.
GINNY: See? All good.
- Mm-hmm. - You bring up the rear.
JIMMY: I would not recommend looking down.
Hold, just quick still. Quick still.
No, no, no...!Yeah!
This one does suck, I'm not gonna lie.
It's deeply scary.
Whew!
GINNY: You got this! Don't look down!
Okay.
Just keep moving!
I am moving! I'm moving.
Yes, but not forward.
I see what you're doing. I do. I see it.
- What? - The subtext.
Nora! You're literally not moving forward!
I know!
I'm sacrificing my friends for my job.
And want my friends! I really do.
I want them!
- Hey, Nora? - What?
You keep your eyes on mine.
You trust me?
No.
Fair enough. I deserve that.
I haven't been the most trustworthy
or authentic friend.
I've been so controlling.
And, you know, that I've been trying
to fix you and Mary.
Being Ginny Moon.
Bullying other people.
Changing their lives.
It's so much easier
than being Jenny Moskowitz...
I understand....who really needs
to get her shit together.
- Yep. - Oh, my God...
One more...
[ALL CHEER]
There you go! There you go!
I'm so happy. I'm alive.
Oh, God! You are the real deal.
That was the real deal, do you hear me?
When you're vulnerable, it's inspiring.
I feel like I can do anything!
And it goes through the tree, around the hole...
It goes around the hole and through the...
Either way, the bunny doesn't die, right?
- Bunny safe. - NORA: I cannot do this!
- GINNY: Yes, you can! - MARY: You can do it!
You're not gonna die. I mean, eventually.
Oh... Oh... Do or die, little guy.
- Are you going first? - Okay. Yes, I am.
- You sure? - Uh-huh. Ladies...
I am quitting my job.
[ALL SCREAMING EXCITEDLY]
[LAUGHING, CHEERING]
Ginny...
I'm leaving Mike and going back to med school.
To freedom! Whoo!
What? You two can't drop info like that
when I've got a harness up my hoo-hah!
[SCREAMS] To friendship!
Yeah! To friendship!
♪ I got my first Real six-string ♪
♪ Bought it At the five and dime ♪
♪ Played it Till my fingers bled ♪
♪ Was the summer of '69 ♪
♪ Me and some guys From school ♪
♪ Had a band And we tried real hard ♪
♪ Jimmy quit And Jody got married ♪
♪ I should've known We'd never get far ♪
♪ Oh, when I look back now ♪
♪ That summer seemed To last forever ♪
♪ And if I had the choice... ♪
What is she like off hours?
- It's not a problem. - It's the same deal.
I'm cool. I'm fine. I drive a Mustang.
- Yeah, that's good. - And its pretty sweet.
- That was sarcastic. - No. Sarcasm is not in my DNA.
That feels sarcastic.
I have a perfectly rousing sex life,
- thank you very much. - Oh, yeah?
Let me know when you need it.
But I don't. And I'd like it.
I'll just...[BUZZING]
It's a new friend.[ALL LAUGH]
I mean, we can do a strip search
for contraband if necessary.
It's not necessary.
I... I don't know. Just in case.
I've never done one before,
and I really want to do one.
You don't need to.
- Have you done one? - Yes, I have.
- What? - I enjoyed it.
When?
I should've gone to college. This sucks.
MARY: What's your name? What's your name?
Mike.[CREW LAUGHS]
She's here to protect and serve.
Not buzzkill and [BLEEP].
[BLEEP] DIRECTOR: Cut it.
[ALL LAUGH]
Come on! Ow! Ow! Oh, geez louise.
Stand up, woman.
- I'm coming. - Jesus Christ! What happened?
DIRECTOR: Again, please.[LAUGHING]
- GINNY: Yay! - Okay. I can't take anymore.
The two of you are insane.
See you later, okay?
I have to have some cookies and candy.
- Let's try it together. - Oh!
Oh, my God! Uh-oh.
Well... Uh, yeah.
Uh, I'm sure he won't mind.
He looks like he's...
Well, he's crawling now.
- But that's not a good thing. - Oh, no!
Should we call somebody?
Now there's a lot of blood.
Yeah.
Okay. So what about lunch?
I did a series of hot takes on...
On weaponized incontinence, and--
[CHORTLES, LAUGHING]
I did a series of hot takes
on weaponized in...
"Competence."
- I did a ser-- Okay. - You did what?
I did a series of hot takes
on weaponized in... Competence.
[LAUGHS]
"Continence" is not about... That's pee.
- I went to impotence. - That's something...
Okay, what a minute. Wait.
- Yes. - I did a series of hot takes
on "weapotized"...
[ALL LAUGH]
I really had it! I had it!
Okay. You still have it. Do it!
- Okay. All right. - Bitch.
Okay. You know, this is...
This is like the last time anyone ever undulated?
By the way, what does it mean?
Is it sexual?
- Oh, come on! - No, I'm sorry.
- It's undulating. - MARY: I know!
Well, I can kiss if I want!
You can kiss whomever you...
Oh, you want me to kiss you?
- No! - Just give me my phone.
I'll kiss you. I'm happy to.
Oh, forget it. Goodbye.
I need to get out of here! [GROANS]
Holy shit. It looks like someone got murdered down here.
Here, you take this. You might need a puff of that.
Through the rabbit hole. Ready, one, two, three!
[SCREAMS]
Our father who art in heaven.
Hallowed be thy name. My kingdom come.
Thy will be done. On earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
Please, God. Please, God. Please.
Yeah! To friendship!
Oh, man. This is like an AARP commercial.
[♪]