Downloaded from YTS.MX
Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX
This film contains scenes that may cause an epileptic seizure,
scenes that contain smoking, alcohol and drug use, meaningless sex, fights…
well, you know, some uncontrolled brawling,
attempted sexual assault, gay sex, straight sex, perversions, swearing…
Point is: don't try to repeat it.
If you're afraid of living such a fun life like ours… like mine.
Hey, what's wrong?
That was a good warm up…
What's good about it? It sounds like shit.
Man! You told us we were nailing it.
Oh yeah…
It is us who could be nailed to the barndoor
with these old instruments of ours.
Back then, I didn't realize
I was completely terrified before our first concert.
I was ready to burn down all of our rubbish instruments,
I'd pretend to have a terminal illness, run away to Poland in women's clothes…
Just to avoid shitting myself in front of five people,
as we wouldn't get more fans in the whole Lviv.
Kuzia! That's a good guitar! Chill out!
Lesyk, if it was a good guitar you'd see "Fender Stratocaster" written on it!
So take a marker and write it!
Write it on your asses! Maybe someone will believe you're branded.
Nobody in the hall will see what you have written there,
and we play just fine.
The concert will be awesome, dude!
Come on!
It's been like that since we were kids, Yatsyk believed in me.
He even agreed to start a spider farm in granny's tulips.
But before our first concert I was just sick of his belief.
Maybe I was afraid to let him down…
So, guys, the concert is in four days.
We have to rehearse. Let's go.
Lesyk was suspicious of my crazy ideas,
but he was always ready to get me out of any mess.
And it was comforting.
Stop, stop!
Let's take a time out, guys.
We have another 40 minutes of rehearsal.
Hey! Kuzia!
You can start packing.
Hello!
Yeah, it's me.
What's up?
Cool!
Okay,
I'll be there in 20 minutes.
Okay, yeah…
Fine. Yeah.
Sorry guys, I'll be right back.
KUZMA AND THE PENGUINS
Did you bring the money?
Sure!
Voilà!
A real rarity!
That's some unique stuff!
Are you sure you wanna sell it?
I don't care about the material things.
So, give me the money.
Here you go.
Where did you get it?
I had some cash, and I borrowed some from a neighbor.
She sells "J.boyz" at the market. Everybody knows her.
I was glad that the neighbor gave me the money in 100 notes, not in 10 notes.
'Cause we'd have spent the whole night in the garage.
It seemed like the Painter was afraid to count dollars in daylight.
To avoid being arrested for exchange fraud.
What are you still doing there? What are you waiting for?
Get behind the wheel.
I got so excited I almost moved myself to tears.
I felt like I was in a big and spacious Stalin-era building.
You could hardly see anything through the rear window.
But it created such a cozy atmosphere.
As if you were sheltered from the outside world.
Female pig.
What?
The seats are made from female pig leather.
Specially ordered by some party boss.
Come on.
The bucks are fake? The neighbor smuggled the fake ones.
She brought that Turkish garbage and sells it.
It has never left the garage without this thing.
Here, take it.
See that opening? Put this thing in it.
This won't hurt?
Wet it and it won't hurt.
Come on.
You have to rev the engine.
Go ahead. Wind it up again.
Come on, come on!
Yes!
There is no muffler!
I got it!
Do you know how to drive?
I've been driving since I was three!
Barbara!
KUZMA AND THE PENGUINS
What an idiot!
Go away with this hooptie!
Or I'll call her father. He'll kill you!
Good morning, aunt Marichka!
Good morning!
It was Barbara!
When I saw her I was losing my mind.
It's still like that.
Salut!
Don't even think about getting inside this bucket.
Thank you aunt Marichka,
but I'll decide for myself where to get inside.
What took you so long?
I was getting dressed.
You were supposed to be ready.
I've been waiting for you for two hours, that's enough time to change 20 times.
I went to pick up the limo.
Please, my lady!
Where did you get it?
- There is nothing that can bite me, right? - Come on, get in.
The ceiling looks like a universe.
Yeah, check it out.
And why exactly did we come here?
We could lie down for a while.
Come on, what's wrong?
I've waited for you for half a day.
I would rather have visited an exhibition.
Put your hands in the air
and the Sun will melt.
Let your hair down
and I'll go crazy.
Do you still think about the exhibition?
Just a bit…
When do you have to give it back?
What?
The car.
What do you mean "give it back"?
Did you buy it?
Well, yeah.
You told me you wanted a car.
Wait.
I meant someday.
I didn't mean today.
When you become a famous musician we'll buy a proper car
and we'll go to Europe together.
It's just a dream, I didn't mean today.
We're just getting ready to your first concert.
Wait. When did you buy it?
Today in the morning, why?
Didn't you have a rehearsal this morning?
Damn…
Come on, I'll buy you a hundred of those.
You won't find the red ones in Lviv, you know it.
I still can't believe you left the rehearsal.
- Why the hell did you need this car? - I can sell it if you want.
I want you to understand what is actually important for you.
Even aunt Marichka says that what you do is amatOurship.
AmatOurship?
Of course I don't think so.
But you got to admit, Kuzia,
it's difficult to defend you when there is nothing that you'd carry through.
Lesyk even forgot about the exams to have the rehearsals.
Yatsyk, about the sea…
And you just walked away from everybody, from me, just to buy…
this rubbish.
Are you serious?
AmatOurship?
You have to decide what you really wanna do in life.
When will I see you?
At the concert.
When you'll understand who you are and stop doing foolish things.
Barbara!
I'll buy you those tights!
Lying down for a while…
Mechanic.
- Hey, Bard! - Hey.
Cool car. Is it yours?
Yes.
The real deal.
I've already changed the muffler.
Maybe you wanna buy it?
No, no, no…
Don't fool me with this antique stuff.
Where did you find it?
Don't even ask.
I wanted to impress Barbara.
I've been to Berlin recently.
There is this guy there,
he collects old buckets.
You know…
He'll give you a new Mercedes for a real Soviet-era "Pobeda".
Yeah, right, Mercedes Benz S 600, maybe?
A Mercedes.
Do you have his contacts?
I have to go to Berlin one more time, to deliver some goods.
We could take your car.
I could introduce you to the guy, you'll get everything settled.
- What do you say? - Berlin?
Do you really need to ask?
Of course, let's go!
BASED ON THE STORY BY KUZMA SCRYABIN ROCKY ROAD TO BERLIN
Why do Germans need these mannequins?
I don't know.
I buy them for 3 rubles apiece
and I sell them for 150 D-Marks for this old junk. Can you believe it?
150 D-Marks?!
That's real money!
Where did you find these orphans?
In the shop window at the mall.
Why did you take children?
Couldn't you wait until they grow up?
These are troubled times for the market.
I had to convince the manager in the mall to sell them for 3,50 rubles instead of 3.
We're heading to Berlin.
Good for you.
We're going fishing. To Oselya village.
Drop dead in the damn Berlin.
Have a good trip!
What's that…
Enjoy the silence, damn it!
It was just fine yesterday.
Are you crazy?
What do you mean "Berlin"?
We have a concert in three days. Are you going to bail on us?
I swear, it's just to change the Pobeda, and then I'll come back.
It's Berlin.
That's real Europe.
Wouldn't you go?
Berlin…
Three days before the concert?! Kuzia, are you kidding me?!
Of course, I wouldn't go!
Guys, I swear, I won't let you down.
Let's go!
What happened?
We have to push the car.
Come on!
That's it.
Game over.
Maybe we should start from the school #3?
There is a hill there.
So, Kuzia…
Last shot?
Listen to me, you, Stalin-era rubbish,
either you're going to Berlin and become a part of the collection
or you're not, and you'll be sold for scrap.
Got it?
Come on, guys.
Smart girl!
- We're going West, man! - To Berlin!
I'm driving fast The Europe is waiting for me…
Three days may not be enough.
Maybe it's for the best.
I was glad to go with Bard.
He wouldn't bother me with questions. I was busy thinking.
After the "amatOurship"…
the word itself is disgusting…
I decided to quit music, so what?
Everybody's in trade, why shouldn't I?
The miners' protests in Donetsk continue.
You are listening to "Parliamentary wave".
I am so sick of the politics.
They're just beating the air. It's been two years already.
Aren't you tired of it?
Crap!
So?
We're screwed.
Damn, get behind the wheel!
- I'll wind up and you hit the gas! - Okay!
- Did you hit it? - You wound it, I hit it, right?
No! Hit and hold it. I'll wind one more time.
Save the children!
Start pushing!
- What? - Go there!
I woke up early today
I'll go to the mountains
I left my TV set
I'm in the place where the wind Is blowing over the sea
Tracing out letters over the water
Is it yours?
Yeah, write it down somewhere.
Did you call the customs?
Won't there be any problems?
Of course, my classmate Fedya works there, he knows everything.
Okay.
The whole Ukraine is going to Poland today or what?
No. It's Fedya's birthday today
and the customs are a bit paralyzed.
But Fedya promised to help us get through.
There he is.
The gate bar director.
Hello, gentlemen! What do you have back there?
It's all right, officer.
Call Fedya.
All right?
Let's check it.
Crap!
Guys, you can't carry dead children.
It's a border.
Pertovych! Why are you here?
Get up!
You'll miss all the toasts.
They won't dare!
Hi, smugglers!
Where have you been? I've been waiting for you since morning.
Happy birthday, man!
You got fat!
It's because of the stress.
Did you bring the kickback?
Listen… I'm broke. The buddy's paying for the fuel.
You can't go like that.
I'll bring everything on my way back.
Cover the hand.
Give me that so that everybody sees it.
Like you're giving a bribe.
Please, accept this charitable donation. For the stationery.
Okay, fine. I'll get broke having such friends.
CUSTOMS DECLARATION
Thank you, man!
I'm at the service of Ukrainian people!
- You're not feeling well? - What?
Why do you keep fidgeting? You have to keep cool at the border.
Like that?
Sort of.
What are we waiting for?
Turn off your Dinosaur.
If I turn it off now, it won't start. Is that what you want?
Turn off the engine.
Where are you going?
To Berlin, to a festival.
One-man show.
The man in sunglasses is the actor.
The mannequins are for the stage design.
And I'm his helper.
He didn't care about the mannequins.
He was looking for drugs.
Show me what's there.
But there could be anything, even a horse.
And you'd have troubles finding it.
You can go.
Thank you very much.
Bard. You'll have to push the car.
If I take out the crank at Polish customs, we'll get deported for good.
Of course.
Drive, don't push it!
Open! Hurry up!
It's nuts!
Oops.
What's wrong?
The fuel.
Didn't you fill up the tank?
I thought we had enough.
That's a dead end, Kuzma.
Someone will stop.
No, no one will.
In Poland, they don't stop for some strangers.
Especially, for us.
What if…
you're a racketeer.
Damn it!
Kurwa!
Where did this car come from?
It's a tank, kurwa.
My uncle once got drunk
and broke the neighbor’s fence driving a car like that.
And it didn't even leave a scratch.
It's not a tank. It's a Warszawa.
That's what I was saying.
These Polish people…
They don't get that their Warszawa is just a copy of our Pobeda.
Can you hear them using "kurwa" all the time?
In our language we invented a comma instead of it.
That's what I'm saying.
Kurwa.
O, kurwa.
Catch!
The battery's dead.
What battery?
Hey, where are you going? We need to get going.
Hey, boss.
A racketeer from Ukraine?
I don't have money.
I don't need money.
Can I take a look?
The hose is damaged.
Wait. Here.
Try it!
That's a song!
You're a lifesaver.
Wait.
I'll get going, bye!
Wait!
I heard you like Polish ham in Ukraine.
You can sell it and earn some money.
Thank you.
No, I should thank you.
Beginner's luck.
It's obvious now.
I should be an entrepreneur.
Or a businessman.
Barbara will like it.
Ugh, when did you eat so much garlic?
You were going around saying that lard and garlic are for losers.
I didn't eat it.
It's a cold remedy.
Does it stink so much?
Well, yeah.
Ugh!
No, close the door.
I mean it, close the door. I'm not joking.
Ugh! Holy garlic!
It's fine. Maybe, it will scare off the fascists from your "Pobeda".
Car registration documents.
Yes.
What's that?
That's a car.
No, what's that?
That's a registration certificate.
I hated the words ending with -urück since I was a child.
Our adventure was now showing signs of a force majeure.
Stop eating chips at the customs.
Don't panic.
You said it yourself we have to keep cool.
Please, take a bit!
He wants us to get out.
Okay.
Matilda!
Come here!
God, dear Lord, please save us…
When did you become a believer?
Are you afraid of dogs?
Hey, little one.
You just smelled the chips?
What are you doing! You'll eat all the chips.
No.
If Matilda found nothing, let them go.
Are you always so worried about your mannequins?
These are not just mannequins.
What are they then? Are there young terminators inside?
No.
There is Crimean Cannabis.
Yeah, right.
Are you serious?
Man!
We could end up in jail!
It's not that much pot, two years of probation tops.
Are you nuts?
You couldn't tell me?
Kuzia, if anything happened, I'd take the fall.
Look.
Listen, Bard.
Are you sure this is Berlin?
Actually, this is Neukölln.
Before the war, it was a really fancy district.
But then, they built this Berlin wall,
and it became less popular among bruggers.
And immigrants started settling here.
Understand?
Hey! Hey you, Aladdin! Look where you're going!
Tomas! Come here!
Tomas is a yes man.
Bard.
- My dear friend! - Tomas.
Welcome!
Tomas, this is Kuzma, my friend.
Kuzma, this is Tomas, he's also my friend.
- Yes? - Yes. One moment.
Tomas, take these two mannequins.
Kuzma, two mannequins.
Tomas, one more.
One mannequin for me.
Welcome!
Listen, there are a lot of people here and everything is common property here.
So, you can just find a free spot and crash there.
Tomas have read too much Marks
and thinks that his mission is to give shelter to all the travelers.
Hey, homies!
Damn! Go to hell, jerks.
We're trying to sleep.
Bastards.
Crash here.
I'm home.
Hello, beautiful!
Kuzma, thanks for the compliment.
Aunt Natalka, could you get Barbara on the phone?
Listen, she's busy now.
Okay.
Then tell her that I'll come back driving a Mercedes
and I decided to quit music.
I'll bring a batch of goods for sale, I'll be a businessman.
What do you mean "quit music"?
Where are you, Kuzia?
Hello?
The subscriber cannot be reached at the moment.
He's is outside of your love covered area.
Hey! Stay away from the car!
Are you out of your mind, badgers?
Get off the car!
I'll tear your liver out and feed it to the dogs!
Why do you mess with him all alone?
Don't you see they have protection?
Keep cool and your time will come.
Let's get out of here.
Thank you.
They won't come back until the evening, that's for sure.
Tomas.
Bard.
Dude, when are we going to exchange Pobeda for a Mercedes?
They won't be back until the evening, but after darkness…
Kuzia, let me show you Berlin, what do you think?
See you, man.
See you.
Bye.
Damn it!
Then just leave it.
Tomas, can you watch this car? Yeah?
We'll be back soon.
Yes, sure thing, no problem.
- Of course! - Well of course!
Why are you sitting? Take them.
Wow, what characters!
Hello.
Excuse me.
- Step away. - Sorry.
Make way, stripper.
Look, we're like ships.
Kuzma…
Sorry.
Excuse me.
Wow!
Excuse me.
Sorry.
Glory to Jesus.
Frankenstein, step back.
Excuse me.
Sorry.
Good evening!
Is Johann here?
Come in.
Good evening, gentlemen!
Hello, friend. You want something?
Listen, Bard.
What does this Johann do?
He is an art director in here,
buys the mannequins.
Good!
This is good…
Of course, it's good!
It's Crimean.
And Crimea is a Ukrainian Columbia.
Got it?
Okay, but no more mannequins.
What do you mean?
My friends have already planted a whole plot of land.
Sorry, but Romanians sell for half the price.
Romanians?
Our cannabis is the best in Europe, understand?
Our people don't care.
Fascist.
I still need him to exchange my Pobeda.
It's not him.
Excuse me, Johann.
Where is Karsten?
He wasn't here today.
Damn it, dude! Two years of probation you said? Hey!
There are tons of pot! We could go to jail for 18 years!
- But we didn't. - Cool!
- You're welcome! - Hey!
I could have ended up in jail for half of my life because of your drugs!
Maybe you should have told me about the risks beforehand, no?!
Calm down! Do you think I'm a child?
I settled everything with our police a long time ago.
I they had arrested you, they would have put you in a holding cell for two months.
We'd give them 300 bucks and that's it! It's a waste of money, of course!
What do you mean "put me in a holding cell"?
It's your car, isn't it?
No! Leave me alone!
Hello!
Hey!
Let her go!
I'm talking to you! Both of you! Go away!
I know where Karsten is.
It was for me!
It was the first and the only time when I got hammered on drugs.
Actually, it was the only time when I tried this stuff.
I'd say that it was awful and so on…
But I just didn't remember anything.
Are you okay?
Where's Bard?
Where is my friend?
Inside. He said he'd come in a minute.
And…
Where are we?
By the club.
So, what is your name?
Den.
Den?
Deniz. It means "sea" in Turkish.
Okay.
So, what is a Turkish girl doing in a night club?
So what?
I'm a modern free girl, understand?
Okay.
Hey, Romeo.
Let's go inside. They say Karsten is here.
Let's get inside.
Berd! What does this Karsten actually do in life?
Kuzia, are you serious?
I was telling you about him for the last half hour.
Anyway…
So, in Soviet times he was a translator from Russian.
Are you sure he'll be up for the exchange?
Don't fret.
Bard, I hope there'll be no more scams.
Hi, Bruno!
Did you like Karsten's friend?
Hi, Karsten!
You play like a real professional.
Yeah, he's good.
Come on…
This is a real deal.
Stratocaster.
How much?
I don't sell guitars.
I get it.
I quit music anyway.
And I never said I was exchanging Mercedez for Pobeda.
What do you mean?
I heard it myself.
I said I knew a man who can exchange Pobeda for Mercedez.
Enjoy yourself!
Cheers.
Listen.
And that guy…
Are you sure he'll be up for the exchange?
Rudi?
Let's go see him.
I saw him here today.
Is he dead or alive?
What happened to him? Is he alive?
He is. A bit.
He got high as a kite.
What should we do? Maybe we should call an ambulance?
Yeah? Maybe the local police too?
So all of these freaks would lynch us.
We just need to wait for this body to wake up.
Yeah, or kick the bucket.
Hey!
Someone half passes here all the time.
There should be some antidotes here.
The girl is right.
- Crap! - Let's get out of here.
We have to find an antidote!
Naloxone, Naloxone?
It must help.
- Do you know how to give an injection? - Only to myself.
I know how. I made it to my grandpa.
You made your grandfather in…
Did you give your grandfather an injection in vein?
Yes, in the buttocks.
I loved them all so much in that moment.
As if I knew them my whole life. And there was no one dearer to me.
Plus I was drunk as a skunk.
What should we do next?
Let's go, I'll introduce you to the musicians.
I'll wait until he gets back to reality.
Wow.
Did Depeche Mode perform here?
No, they were resting here.
They performed in the Friedrichstadt-Palast.
- Have you been there? - Of course. I paid 300 marks.
Had to buy it from a reseller.
I'm a huge fan!
They inspire me.
Inspire to sell ham?
Why are you standing here, let's go.
Hi, Eric!
Hi!
This is Eric, my friend. Let's go. I'll introduce you.
This is Kuzma, my friend from Ukraine.
He's a rock musician.
Oh, a colleague.
Let's play together.
No, guys, I gave up music.
I don't even have a guitar.
It's not a problem.
You can take mine.
That was the moment when I realized that I could not escape it.
I'll find common ground with anyone as long as there is music.
And I'll be able to do whatever I wish. No limits.
It's not so important how many fans you have.
If these five people gave you their hearts.
And music is everything.
Polish ham? Who am I kidding.
It was amazing.
Yeah.
You're fucking sexy! You're a rock star!
Why did you quit? You have a talent.
Karsten, that's just thanks to your guitar.
We can go.
Kuzma.
Yes.
Rudi is very grateful that you saved his life.
And I convinced him to switch cars.
Yes, Rudi?
Rud, Rudi…
- Yes. Yes. - Yes.
Let's go then. We have to go home in a few hours.
I have a concert tomorrow in the evening.
Cool!
Right.
How are we going to get there?
Den, where are you from?
Kreuzberg. Hermannplatz, 4.
Kreuzberg? Little Istanbul!
That's not far from us.
All right. Thank you, guys.
Goodbye!
Bye, Den.
- Bye, Kuzma. - Bye, Den. It was nice to meet you.
Nice… to what?
Get out, say a proper goodbye.
Don't worry. I won't tell Barbara.
Okay. I'll try to help.
One… two… three.
Well…
Thank you for helping me.
You're a really pretty girl.
I was glad to help you.
I have to go.
I understand.
Maybe we'll see you later?
Yeah.
Bye, Den.
Bye.
What?
Did you take her number?
Let's go.
Oh, God!
What the hell is that?
Beasts!
Freaking animals!
Tomas! How could you let this happen?
- What? - You can shove your what!
Look what these freaks did!
That's a complete garbage.
This is not a car.
I won't take it.
We're screwed.
Bastards!
Hey! Son of the jackal! You're dead.
This can't be good.
What are you doing?
Tomas!
Tomas! Help us! Tomas! Tomas!
What have you done? How will I get home?
I have a concert!
How did you even do it?
Dear Mother!
What did you say about my mother?
Eat this!
Sorry, Kuzma, I don't do well with the police.
We need some real help here.
So, the police were going somewhere else.
I'm going to bed.
Yeah.
I knew that Yatsyk and Lesyk would be expecting me this evening.
Barbara would be expecting me.
Maybe even some fans.
But I had no idea how to get to Lviv.
So I decided to think and to eat.
How can you eat here, dude?
I don't know, was really hungry.
You've eaten the ham that'd cost 300 bucks, yeah?
No.
Around 5.50 for now.
Mom! Somebody help! Guys!
Could you help me? Help me, please.
What happened?
- Help my mom! Help her! - Where is your mom?
That was a success…
I never followed through on anything,
I didn't get a new car, the old one had some shit all over it,
I was not gonna make it to the concert,
and now they were going to make me into ham.
What the hell?
Alyosha, translate.
Sir Mehmed says that he's very disappointed.
You don't act like this when you're a guest.
You dared to raise a hand against Sir Mehmed's nephew and his friends.
They shit on my car!
Translate it!
My nephew said you were threatening him. What's your version?
Mehmed is not a killer. He's just an entrepreneur.
He sells clothes, shoes and so on.
But what he cares about most is his family's honor.
That's why you will die like dogs.
Are you out of your mind?
Alyosha! What does it mean?
Let us go!
If you don't want to start a dialogue, I'll have to take extreme measures.
Sir Mehmed asks if you have a last wish.
Yeah! I want his nephew to eat the shit he left on my car!
Give them a good scare and then we'll talk.
Sorry, my friend.
We'll have to cut off your head.
Wait! Wait!
Hey!
Are you nuts?
Boss! You're a grown man!
Alyosha, stop him!
Fine, they don't have to eat the shit!
- Good morning, dad! - Good morning, daughter!
Can you give me some money for a taxi. I overslept and I'm late for university.
- Yes, sure. - Den?
Kuzma?
How do you know this rude man?
Dad! He saved me from attackers yesterday in the evening.
What attackers? Why were you alone outside?
I was coming back home from the library, two people attacked me,
and this brave man saved me from them.
Untie this guy.
- What about his friend? - And his friend.
Hi, Kuzma!
How are you?
Thank you! I'm fine, damn it.
Apologize and ask how to thank him.
For saving the honor of Sir Mehmed's only daughter,
Sir Mehmed would like to offer his sincere apologies.
And he asks: what would you like to get?
I want my car to be as good as new. Get it?
Maybe he wants something special?
Maybe you have a special wish?
Tights. For my girlfriend.
And…
can I get my glasses back?
Thank you.
You have a girlfriend, Kuzma?
Yes.
Her name is Barbara.
Have a good trip.
I wish they'd had cut your balls off.
This is for you.
Couldn't you ask for a Mercedez?
Was that an option?
It was nice to meet you.
I've no doubts.
Karsten!
I wanted to say thank you.
For saving me.
This is for you.
No, no. It's too expensive.
No. A new model comes out this week.
I've already ordered it.
Take it.
Thank you!
Man!
Thanks.
Hey, boss!
Done!
Good.
What happened?
Oh, I get it.
Well…
Thank you, guys!
You can go.
Badgers.
That's all we've got.
It's fine.
Barbara will use it for decades.
Very good!
Guys!
Just look at this beauty!
Let's go to Rudi.
- Maybe he'll take it for a Mercedez. - We can try.
Karsten! Who owns this?
This?
Nobody owns it.
The owners put it here, so that anyone in need could take it.
- I'm in need. - Calm down. We don't have time.
I can have whatever I want?
Hi, Rudi!
Hello! It's me!
Look!
We fixed the car!
Maybe… how to say it… we change?
No.
It's not even running.
Oh my God! Honey!
I can't believe this Warszawa is for me!
It was my dream! Thank you!
I wanted it so much!
I'll be very grateful to you!
- I'll do everything for you, dear. - For me?
Sure!
Cool!
Okay.
Let's go. I'll show you the Mercedez.
My grandpa had exactly the same.
Here it is.
My collection.
A small part of it.
Cool.
And where is Mercedez?
There you go.
Well…
a Mercedez.
Man… A Mercedez?
Mercedez 600.
Dude, it's a Mercedez!
A Mercedez!
Hello.
Be a good girl.
Kuzma! A Mercedez!
I'm sorry! One moment!
Karsten!
Yes, mister.
Bard! Don't just sit there. Open the trunk.
Fantastic!
Look at all this space.
Karsten! You will help me. And you will wait.
Bard!
Don't embarrass yourself!
Okay…
- Thank you very much! - You're welcome!
That's a good deal.
Yeah, for sure.
Kuzma! Help us!
Why are you standing there? Get the car over here!
That's it? Can we go now?
Well, if they don't need the mannequins anymore…
I'll be selling second hand stuff.
That's gonna be a goldmine!
Kuzma,
you should continue making music.
And I will be "making" business.
I know.
Let's go, business.
That's a great musician from Ukraine.
Damn! We'll be waiting for a week here.
I have a concert.
Kuzia, look!
Racketeers.
Muggers.
What should we do?
If they ask, we don't have anything.
Greetings from Lublin-Lviv brigade.
What do you have in your truck, yobbos?
What do you care?
We control who's passing through here. You have to pay us 200 zlotys. Got it?
We don't have any dough!
Then give us your goods.
That's some trash from the junkyard, fellas.
You'll find the fellas on a playground! We're guys.
- That's really some trash, guys. - Just open your truck, man.
We'll take a look at your trash.
Come on!
- Wow. That's one hell of a TV. - Take it.
Take the plant. Come on.
My business is doomed.
Better belly burst than good drink lost.
Yobbos.
I won't give away the guitar! It's a very personal thing.
And I won't give away the tights either!
Is this also a personal thing?
Are you a muso?
Yes.
Fine.
All right. We already have some presents from you.
You can keep one thing: either the guitar or the tights.
Bard.
I promised Barbara to get red tights.
Maybe, the hell with this guitar?
Are you crazy?
Keep the guitar. I'll find you the tights.
I promise.
Fine.
Give me back the guitar.
Let's go.
Hey! Fellas, Guys!
Why are you running away if you're so cool?
You promised to help me to get ahead of the line.
And now what?
- He's got some balls. - If we don't help him, we'll "get soiled".
Yeah… people will stop forking out.
Sure, kiddo! We'll take care of it.
Kolya the sledgehammer walks the talk.
Kiddo, I'll go first and you'll follow me. Got it?
I'll leave you near the border guard. He'll know everything.
Get in.
- Hey, hey! - Hello!
You got the wheels?
A Mercedez.
I see. Congrats!
Thank you!
Listen, can you hurry up with the paperwork?
I'm late to a concert.
Congrats! According to Ukrainian legislation
your Mercedez can't be cleared.
Because it's older than 10 years.
Since when do we have this rule?
Well, the law became effective yesterday.
- Fedya, are you kidding? - Listen!
There's got to be a way to get through, right?
You must have come up with something already.
Fedya, let's be straight, how much does the car clearing cost?
I'll pay for it.
Bard!
Lend me some money. I'll give it back.
Some more.
Here!
Does everybody see it?
Show must go on!
Take it.
Calm down.
We'll register that the car is in transit and that's it.
Everyone will be doing like that.
Crap!
Now I got into debt.
This Mercedez…
When Barbara sees it…
Bard.
Will you at least get me those red tights that you promised?
Bard!
You're a sharp cookie!
Kuzia! Are you out of your mind?
Yes. Are you out of your mind?
Someone has a concert in two hours and you're kissing here.
Barbara, what are you doing here?
I knew that you'd be back for the concert.
Sorry, there's no orchestra.
The guys are busy, they have a rehearsal.
My love…
this is for you, the red ones, as promised.
Is it yours?
Yes.
Will you give me a ride?
Thank you very much!
I still had jitters before the concert.
But after our awesome trip I knew for sure
that my choice was right.
Plus, all tickets were sold out.
So, maybe we'll earn something with this amatOurship.
I never got used to that word.
Congrats!
Congrats! Congrats! Congrats!
You're so cool! Let's go! Come on!
- Take one. - Carefully.
Carefully.
Well, you're awesome!
That part…
Thanks, dude!
But we need to stay focused. We have to get going in three days.
- Where? - Are you going to Berlin again?
No, it's a bit early for you to go to Berlin.
But an encore…
Go ahead. People are waiting.
We'll have a tour:
Vorokhta, Halych, Terebovlia, Stryi!
Don't be silly! А tour…
A triumphant tour! I've arranged everything.
- And how do you fit into all this? - What do you mean? I'm your producer.
No need to thank me.
You'll do it when you guys become super stars.
Are you serious?
Have I ever let you down?
Come on! Money won't earn itself!
IN MEMORY OF ANDRIY KUZMENKO
BASED ON THE STORY BY KUZMA SCRYABIN ROCKY ROAD TO BERLIN
Andriy, I congratulate you very much, myself, on your birthday.
I wish you not to bend over next year,
to come up with some more normal things.
In general, to be a normal guy, so
that the bar does not fall too far from your head.
So that more or less yourself not be ashamed of what you do
and show people.
THE END