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- Hi, it's Rick.
Uh, saw the movie and I gotta say,
I, I am going to sue you.
I, I, I, Paul, you told me you wanted
to make a documentary about my life
because I had an interesting story to tell.
Well, guess what? I'm shutting it down.
I am a lawyer and I'm shutting it down.
Please call me back.
You know.
My name is Rick Klingman.
I am an attorney and a political consultant.
Some people might say, oh, that guy is a con artist
or a fraud or a dirty trickster
or he can't name all three branches of the government.
And they're wrong.
I am simply a truth provider.
This morning on behalf of my client,
I filed a lawsuit with the Tomkins County Courthouse
to stop production of the new play, "Freeing Lincoln."
In this play, producer, Seth Rogen,
alleges that Abraham Lincoln,
a great American and one of our greatest presidents
was, in fact, a gay man.
I have asked Judge Ennington for an immediate injunction
and I am awaiting her ruling.
Every once in a while, someone will hire me
to get their truth out there
and when I hear what they're about,
I think I don't know, maybe that's not good.
But the more I think about it
and talk about it, I start to believe it.
I start to believe their truth
and then it becomes the truth.
I see Jessica from "The Daily Beast," hello, how are you?
- Hi, Rick, doing well.
Who are these people behind you?
Are they with you?
- Yes, yes.
I mean, this gentleman's sign says Lincoln was straight.
That's what we're alleging.
- What about her?
- Yeah, no, I asked her not to stand here with us,
but she won't leave.
She said no way.
But that's her right.
This is American, First Amendment.
The man was shot in the head, okay.
He's not here to defend himself.
I'm sorry, I don't think it's right
that a Canadian based in Hollywood gets
to tear down another American idol.
- Fuck Rick Klingman.
This guys a fuckin' piece of shit.
I check Twitter every day hoping he's gonna die
and when he does finally die,
I'm going to find out where they buried him,
I'm gonna take a week and I'm gonna eat nothing
but Taco Bell burritos and P.F. Chang's.
And then I'm gonna go to his grave
and I'm gonna spray the worst diarrhea
anyone's ever had all over his headstone.
- I see you.
Bossman.
It's good to see you.
I am an airport expert
and my best piece of advice, take the shuttle.
Here he is right now, look.
Here comes our guy.
I've been waiting less than 10 minutes, here he is.
How are you, brother?
That's the wrong one.
I thought New York was a huge success.
The judge threw out the lawsuit, which we expected,
but I proved my point and my clients are happy
and I think I'm gonna get a lot
of buzz out of this one, so.
Check the Twitter machine.
Let's see what folks are saying.
Rick Klingman is a pathetic worm
who should crawl back into whatever sewer he came from.
What's up with Rick Klingman's weird body?
Why does on suit fit him?
I got to give Rick Klingman credit.
He actually has done some impressive things
in his life considering the fact
that his brain is made of monkey cum.
I think the nature of what I do lends itself
to haters and trolls.
There's this one guy named Sledge Whopper,
not his real name, and he goes after me all the time,
man, and he, he is telling people
I pranked this idiot and I owned him.
No one owns Rick Klingman,
except City Second National Bank,
which owns most of my condominium.
Home sweet home.
I love coming home after a long flight.
I like to relax, get a little- - Hello.
- Oh, my God.
- What are you, why.
Excuse me, guys, one second.
What the hell was that?
- I told you, I don't want cameras in the house.
- Here's the deal.
A, you live in my condo.
B, I am your boss.
So, as your boss, I am ordering you to be cool.
Can you be cool?
Welcome to Casa Del Klingman and Marco,
who not only is my executive assistant,
he's also my roommate. - Mm-hmm, hello.
- Been working together
for about three years now. - Four years.
- He makes the greatest dish.
It's the uh, the chicken and the rice one.
- Yeah, arroz con pollo.
It's very good.
- Is that what it's called?
The one, it's got like the yellowish sauce?
- Yellow sauce on top of rice and chicken?
It's arroz on pollo.
- Let me know if I have any phone calls I need to roll.
- Absolutely, I will let you know anything
that I have to tell you.
- So, this is it.
This is the humble abode.
I love Asia and I did some work
with some gentlemen from Hong Kong,
who had a startup.
They were trying to, uh,
get canned dolphin exported
and people were furious,
but the reality is, is dolphins are incredibly healthy
to eat and there really are a lot of them.
Welcome to central command.
I miss my guys.
Miss my platoon.
- Oh, I didn't realize you served.
- Well, I wanted to.
I wanted to serve, but, unfortunately,
my left leg is about a quarter of a millimeter shorter
than my right leg.
This is my friend Neil's 40th birthday, paintball.
This is, this is kind of the central hub
of my office right here.
I was an onboard advisor for Enchanted Cruise Lines,
I don't know if you guys know them. Oh, my God.
They called me the Fet Boy,
'cause I was always the first in line at the buffet.
Look at that crab.
Look how big that frickin' crab is.
I worked for Enchanted for six years
until I got real sick.
I ate some buffet queso, we think.
It could've been a lot of things.
But, uh, whatever it was, it was tapeworm
and it gave me the tapeworm
and so I lost ton of weight.
All my chest hair fell out.
I was real sick.
I ended up suing the cruise line
and I settled out of court, which was great.
And I, unfortunately, ended up gaining
a lot of weight back right there.
That's me at about 309, 310 right there, real unhealthy,
so I decided I was going to sign up
with a oh, let's just call it
a certain famous weight loss company.
That worked so well that I ended up
with kidney failure.
Lost too much weight too fast.
So, I sued that weight loss company and I won
and that is kind of what really put me on the map.
And I learned that I was put on this earth
to make a difference
and I can make money making that difference.
So, I, uh, yeah, I started
my own consulting firm, Maximum Truth.
That's for you, take it.
I got like two left.
- Who hires you?
- All kinds of people.
I mean, titans of industry, CEOs.
Do you remember Tonya Harding?
Her brother.
So, I got a phone call
from my friend, Mary Jo Nackerson,
who is a big activist
with some pretty deep pockets
and she wants to talk,
so we're going to Beverly Hills.
Don't even have to lock it.
Not in this neighborhood.
- There he is, Mr. Handsome.
- Where? Where?
- Ah, oh. - You okay?
- Oh, the pain. - What happened?
- Oh, honey, I just got new choppers
and they're still finding their grit, see.
Look good, though, huh?
- Oh, look at that. - Look, look.
- Look at those, they're beautiful.
- Yeah, I paid a lot of money for them
I'll tell you that much.
- I got these on sale.
- Oh, come on in, come on in.
I'm fine, I'm fine, really.
My husband, Wilbur and I spent
a lot of time working on this house, tiny details.
Oh, and there he is now.
Wilbur, my sweet Wilbur. - Yes.
- Just a wonderful man.
Wilbur was a big shell guy, natural gas, so.
- You mean fracking?
- Uh, I wouldn't call it fracking.
- No, it's fracking and Wilbur practically invented it.
- It's fracking. Wilbur invented it and I love it.
- Let me ask, Rick, what do you really want?
- I would love to expand my operation
and maybe open up a little office, you know,
Washington, DC, be bi-coastal.
- Rick, I had a job for you
and if you do it right,
all of that is possible.
- I'm listening.
- Mm-hmm.
Antonio Kelly-Zhang.
You know him?
- Yeah, I think I do.
Was he on "Below Deck?"
- He is running for Congress
right here in Los Angeles.
- Oh, yes, no, no, I do know this guy.
He's very young and very photogenic, hello.
- He is a disaster for people like us
and I have evidence that he may be a demon.
- Well, I think that is definitely worth investigating.
It might be hard to prove.
If it's true, that's a big deal
and he's kind of in trouble,
but I think, yeah, you can maybe, uh,
I think we can do a little digging on this guy.
- Well, that's what I want you to do.
If you can find something to knock him out,
this is just the beginning.
- Mary Jo. - Yes.
- I'm in.
- Oh, fantastic, that's fantastic.
- My pleasure.
- Ah, oh, God, oh. - That's a big one.
- Will you go up to my room
and just get those pain pills.
They're on the nightstand table.
- Pain pills on the nightstand table.
- Pills on the nightstand table, oh.
- Got it, I'll be right back.
Mary Jo, just hang tight.
So, when Mary Jo reached out yesterday,
I thought three words.
I need Simon.
How would I describe Simon Tarnum?
One word.
LeBron James.
He led the boycott of the Apple store
for not selling his app.
He led the boycott of Chipotle
when they started serving soy riso.
This is a young man who is just an up and comer
and did I mention he's easy on the eyes?
I mean, if I was a woman,
he would be my boyfriend.
He said to meet him in the backyard,
so, I think I can guess what he's doing.
I was right. - Yo, man.
- There he is. - There he is.
- Come on. - Oh.
- Look at that.
- Got the camera crew, huh?
- I'm gonna try that.
- Hah!
Hah!
- You don't have to do the grunts.
I just got 20 more seconds.
- Whoo! - Get this.
- Yeah, burn it out.
- Get there, Simon. - That's good.
- It works a lot of different muscle groups.
- Come on, you fuckin' pussy. - Yeah.
- I had a very fun lunch yesterday
with Mary Jo Nackerson
and she has a job for me
and I thought maybe it could be a job for us.
- I'm listening. - Okay.
- She wants us to do a little dig
on one Antonio Kelly-Zhang. - Creepy.
- Yeah, you know this guy?
- Hate his face. - Yeah.
- Hate his face.
- Do you know who he is? - Yeah.
Who is he again?
- He's running for Congress. - Okay.
- In LA. - That's what it is.
- That's why I know him. - On the east side.
- Oh, you know what it is?
I saw him on Natalie Portman's Instagram one time
before she blocked me, the coward.
- All we gotta do is just kind of do
a little background check on this guy.
You know, find out where's he been,
what's his story.
Is he hiding anything. - I see.
- You know? - I see.
- You wanna get down and dirty with it.
- Yeah, I mean, that's the business.
This is all totally legal. - Yep.
- You know, but it comes down to me needing you, Simon.
I mean, this guy, he's young, he's viral.
You're young, you're viral.
I need your expertise
and we've been looking to do a collab for a while
and this kind of seems like it's the perfect thing.
So, I'm here to ask you, what do you think?
- What do I think?
Oh, God, it's gonna be tough.
Might need to sleep on it, you know.
- No, that's fine.
- I might need a couple days.
You know? - No, I get it.
- I get it and it was, you know,
we're all working on things,
but I thought, this could be just kind of-
- I'm kidding. I'm in.
Do a little zoom.
Daddy's in.
Come on. - Come on, now.
- I, I thought you were going, I'm sorry,
I thought you were going for a fist bump
and I went way too long.
- Listen, I gotta, I gotta ship out
some supplements, but- - Oh.
- Instead of taking off,
why don't you come and check out
what I got working over here.
- You wanna see this little mogul right here?
- In the garage.
I just got Wahlberg to cut in.
- You got Mark Wahlberg?
- Donnie. Donnie.
- Shut up. - "Bluebloods."
- I met him and Jenny McCarthy one time
and I took a picture with them.
- Whoa, welcome to the factory.
We got, oh, what have we got here?
- Whoo!
- Oh, is that, is that the, uh,
highest quality weightlifting supplement
on the market right now?
I think it is. - Look at that.
- Check that out.
Shredded and you can get
this beautiful product at shredded.net.
You just pop that right there
when I did that with the finger.
- We're not doing that.
- You could pop a link right there.
- It's all right, it's all right, doesn't matter.
- And I love that you guys only used one D.
It's kind of like skewing a little bit, you know.
This ain't, this ain't
your daddy's chocolate protein powder.
- Missed two Ds, one two.
- Oh, no, no, I meant like, you know,
two Ds next to each other.
- That would be shre-ded.
I'm not gonna do that.
- No, no, no, look, normally it would be two, that's good,
it's good. - Shredded.
It's gotta be shredded, get shredded.
- You have an opponent, you find their weakness.
- Yeah.
- You investigate, you expose, you exploit, IEE.
What about policies?
Because this guy is pretty radical.
- You know, I think we should just
avoid policy altogether, you know.
It's not what the young people are into, it's boring.
- Yeah, we think it's boring, that's true.
- Doesn't make any sense. - That's true, I get it.
- You know what, we'll pull that off the board, policy.
- Yeah, yeah, make space, former jobs.
What'd he do before this?
- Former jobs.
Command center activate.
- Oh, I'm feeling some momentum now, baby, oh, yeah.
- Okay, well, he worked at a community outreach program
for homeless folks.
- Mm, community outreach?
What does that even mean?
That's gotta be a front for something, dive into that.
What'd he do before? - I'm gonna mark that one.
Before that he- - Give it to me.
- Oh, he worked at a Lavashe, it's a restaurant.
I, I, I've been there. - Beautiful.
- Put it on, put it on an index card.
- What card? What color?
- Mm, green, get it green, yeah.
- Lavashe. - But it looks like, uh,
looks like we might have a first stop, huh?
- Yeah.
On the board baby.
- Put it on the board!
- Hello.
Welcome to Lavashe.
We're actually not open for dinner yet.
- Uh, what is your name?
- Shannon.
- Shannon, up, there we go.
Rick Klingman, this is Simon Tarnum.
- Hola, Shannon.
- Shannon, we're making a documentary
about, uh, Antonio Kelly-Zhang
and we were wondering if maybe you worked
with him and you could give us
a little information about him?
- I didn't, unfortunately.
- Uh, well, hold on, is there anyone working now
who worked with Antonio when he was here perhaps?
- Yeah, Gabriel's our manager.
- He worked with him, yeah. - Gabriel?
- Let's, is he here right now?
- Mm-hmm, let me go see if he's available.
- Oh, Shannon, thank you so much.
- You're welcome. - Thank you.
- What am I looking at here?
$42 for a steak.
I could buy a steak, I could buy three bottles of wine,
potatoes, make it at home for that price, this is insane.
- Bienvenue a Lavashe.
I'm Gabriel, the manager.
- We're actually making a little documentary
and we wanted to know, you know,
just basically what kind of employee Antonio was,
just kind of see what he was all about.
- You're looking for dirt on Antonio?
- Si.
- Is there any?
- Well, I worked here with Antonio
for a couple of years and I can tell you this.
He was employee de la semaine four semaines in a row,
that's a month. - What does that mean?
- He was a perfect employee.
Everyone loved him and we all support
what he's doing now.
- Perhaps there were some folks
who worked here while he was here
who might not think he was-
- How about I give you 10 seconds
to turn off your cameras
and get out of my restaurant.
- Gabe.
- It's Gabriel. - Gabriel.
- Gabey, Gabey.
- Now, why don't you get out of here
or I will drag you out of here by your balls.
- Ah, fuckin' threat, that's a threat.
Say that one more time.
- It absolutely is, now get the fuck out.
Take your grandfather with you.
- Wow. - Grandfather.
- Keep going, keep going, this is all good stuff.
- Grandfather?
- Isn't he late for Little League practice?
- He hasn't played Little League in five years
and I'm only 12 years older tops.
You know what? It's fine.
I want you to know something, my friend.
I am an attorney and I can still practice law
in Nevada, in New Mexico, in Arizona
and parts of Florida.
You blew it. - Successful.
- You blew it.
- We gotta listen to the back of that recording,
'cause we could have something.
- See, I don't think there is anything.
- None of it? - Excuse me.
- Because he didn't say anything.
- He said it absolutely is. - Excuse me.
- Excuse me, hi.
You dropped this.
- I don't think I did.
- No, I saw you drop it a couple of times.
- No, I'm sorry. - You did.
- You're thinking of someone else.
- You're very careless, now.
- Didn't bring any napkins, so.
- What are- - Don't be so careless.
- What is that?
- Get in the car. - Yeah.
- Get in the car.
- What's going on?
- Get in the car, get in the car.
- I did not drop this. - Right.
- He wanted me to have it, call me.
- Yeah, he wants to go on a date with you.
- No, no, he, he wants, he knows something.
He knows something. - About Antonio?
- Yes. - Jesus fuckin' Christ.
- Come on. - Whoo! This is huge.
- Okay, this is actually- - I mean.
- Almond.
- Hello, hello, hi.
No, no, I'm sorry, this isn't a,
this isn't a ride share. - Sorry.
Get a big black car, everyone thinks it's an Uber.
I have this very strange ability
where people who have a secret,
they can smell me or something.
They, they, they, they smell me coming
and they're like this is a guy I can trust.
- If they smell you,
it seems like they have the ability.
- But, no, but it's, I give off the smell.
It's like, who has more talent,
a person or a skunk?
A skunk.
He's the one making the smell.
Otherwise he's just a, what is he? A cat.
Uh, can I get you something to drink,
some OJ or coffee, maybe?
- Uh, I'll have a Jack and Coke.
- Sure. Have a seat.
Simon Tarnum, my associate.
This is Fred Zurtz. - Hi.
- Yeah. - How are you?
- It's good to see you. All right.
- Have a seat there, Fred.
Let me get this.
That's for you.
- Oh [chuckles].
- I got mixers handy.
- Not too much Coke. - Okay, gotcha.
- This cinnamon bread's really good.
Is it European?
- That is actually from Vaughn's right down the street,
but it, it's really good.
They make a great roll.
Now, we didn't get into it too much over
the phone, but you said that you used
to work with Antonio Kelly-Zhang?
- Yeah, for like three months.
- So, what, what was your experience working
with Antonio from your perspective?
- He was just always making fun of me.
- That's your ass, man.
- Let me ask you a question, and I apologize.
Was the harassment ever sexual in nature?
- Yeah, it was.
- Jesus Christ.
- This is a safe space.
I need you to be as specific as you can
about the nature of the sexual harassment.
- Man, at first it was just talk,
like, "Hey, Fred, you ever think about doing your sister?
Admit it Fred, you wanna do your sister.
You wanna do her and you want me to watch.
That's what you like, don't you?"
- And he was talking about your sister?
- I mean, he was obsessed with it
and I hated it because I do not want
to have sex with my sister, not at all.
- Did Antonio ever cross the line with you physically?
- Well, when I was marrying the ketchups
and Antonio walked out, up to me
and he grabbed my dick and snapped it back.
- What?
- Um.
- How, uh, describe the-
- Yeah, describe- - How that went.
- Well, he grabbed my dick
and I said, "What the fuck?"
And then he snapped it back.
- Just so I can have like a picture,
were you like nude at work?
- No, it was under the pants.
- Were you wearing like sweat pants?
Like the elastic- - What?
- I'm trying to think how does he-
- It doesn't matter.
This is a harassment. - It is, it is.
- This is total harassment. - Oh, no, no, no.
- Don't eat off the floor. - Don't worry about that.
- Don't eat off the floor, oh.
Okay, okay, it's fine, it's fine.
- You were harassed, okay.
I want you to know that. - Okay.
- That's unacceptable what happened to you.
You get that, right?
- This is, these are kind of tearing through me now.
I, can I use your john?
- Yeah, of course, yeah, no, no,
it's right over there on the, uh,
right in that door.
Yeah, yeah, sure, it's right over there.
Got soap and stuff, whatever you need.
Take your time. - Okay.
- Smoking gun.
- When he leaves, we make calls.
- Absolutely. - All right.
- Are you familiar with
the congressional candidate, Antonio Kelly-Zhang?
- Are you a journalist or are you not a journalist?
Well, I'm telling you, bro,
this is the real deal.
The real hizzy, baby.
- This press conference will be, I think, viral.
- Of course we have evidence.
Why wouldn't we, why would we call a press conference
and not have evidence.
I thought George was the last name?
Then I don't know who I'm calling.
- Yes, yes, I want to get, I want to see
if you want.
- What happened, you reached for the water?
Yeah, no, sorry, that was my dog.
- You have a journalistic obligation-
- I'll jump through this fuckin' phone
and I'll knock you the fuck out right now, pal.
- The press needs me and I need them,
so it's a Cibian relationship.
Talk to me, buddy, what do we got?
- All right, just got off with "DC Insider" man.
- Okay, he's good. - Not just that, though.
- Yeah.
- Elliott Pegsley. - Oh, yeah.
- Marie Hootzahausen is the correct pronunciation.
- I don't know her. - Yeah.
- I got us Jessica Hall from "The Daily Beast."
- Ooh, no, ew, fake news bitch.
- Well, that bitch can be a man or a woman.
Men call me bitch, men call women bitches, doesn't matter.
But she does have reach.
She has a lot of reach. - Yeah, all right.
- I'm trying to broad the operation a little.
- Yep.
- So. - Cool.
- It's out there, we are looking good.
Oh, here he is, hey, Marco.
You remember Simon.
- What up Marco.
- What's in the bags?
- Groceries for me.
- Take your time, take your time.
- What's going on with Marco?
- He's fine, don't worry about him.
What we need to worry about is something else
because we have a problem. - Why?
- Where the heck we're gonna celebrate tonight, baby,
'cause I'm thinking BJ's Brewhouse.
- I love BJ's.
Why are we celebrating?
What are we doing?
- 'Cause we booked a press conference.
This is happening. - Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- It's in the water, come on, man, we're doing it.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, can you make a little more noise?
- Are you asking me to make some more noise?
- I know, that-
- Am I being irritating?
- I was being facetious because you were,
it was like a construction site over there.
So, uh, BJ's was a disaster I think was the right word.
They told me it would be a two-hour wait,
which is insane because I'm there, oh,
200 times a year.
I've spent every birthday there for six years.
But there was a new hostess
and she was feeling herself
and she said, "Sir, it's not gonna happen tonight,"
and I said, "Wait till I call Carl, who is your manager."
Agh, doesn't matter, doesn't matter.
We're home, we brought the party home style.
I think that's the caviar.
Hope you guys are hungry.
- There we go.
♪ How about pizza pies, Italian music ♪
What do we got?
Mischa, can I get you some Ranch or something?
- It's Misa and, yeah, duh.
- Yeah, Misa.
That's a beautiful name, is that, uh, perhaps,
you're from Europe, maybe?
- It's from Tampa Bay is where I'm from.
- Top three cities in America, Tampa Bay, number two.
Love it, great BJ's Brewhouse there by the airport.
I'm gonna run over there.
Hello? Yeah.
Oh my gosh.
Wait, you're here?
You're here right now?
Oh, okay, I'm coming down.
So, he's not going to jail?
- Well, I filed a report
and there will be a fine,
but no, we're releasing him on his own recognizance.
- But why did you bring him here?
- Because he gave us this address
and said you were a friend.
- No, I met him for the first time yesterday.
I don't know this man.
- Well, that's your problem.
- No, officer, officer, officer, officer.
I backed the blue.
- Have a nice night. Thanks for your donation.
- I wanna know why you were masturbating
in your car in front of the Salvation Army.
- Well, that's not actually accurate.
I mean, I was with a lady friend.
- Uh-huh and where is she?
I mean, did she get arrested, as well?
- No, she had to go shopping.
- That's bonkers. Absolutely bonkers.
No one will believe that story.
Fred, you couldn't have waited?
You couldn't have waited until we did
what we're trying to do, you know?
This is bigger than you, man.
- Can we, uh, can we stop at Chick-Fil-A?
- I want you to answer me right now.
Did Antonio Kelly-Zhang sexually harass you or not?
- Yeah, you know, I can't actually remember if it was him.
It could've been an array of people.
I just have that kind of thing
that people wanna, you know, do that to.
But someone did snap my dick.
- Hey. - Hey, morning.
- What the fuck is going on? It's leg day.
- Yeah, no, I know, I did my legs, too.
Um, I don't think we can go with the Fred angle.
- What are you talking about? Why? Why not?
- I don't know, man.
I think he, himself, might be a sex criminal
and the minute they Google him,
this is all over.
- Fuck, okay, so, we can't use like any of the story or?
- Maybe as like a backup, backup.
If we find nothing else. - Yeah.
- Which we will. - Absolutely.
- I mean, we have merely scratched the surface.
- Just gotta reset, recharge.
- He's hiding something and we're gonna find it.
- Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. How?
- Maybe it's time we let him know that?
- I feel like you're getting that idea face, I love it.
- We're gonna go to his house and let him know we know.
- Let just our eyes and our presence bring it out in him.
- Once he sees us there and let him know, hey, bud,
we know what's going on, he's gonna go oh, shit.
- Yeah. - And he's gonna freak out.
- Just fuckin' stare at him, beautiful.
- There's only one problem. It's too perfect.
In this business, you have to become an expert
and special ops, recon, stakeouts.
I one time sat in my car
in front of Ed Begley Jr.'s house for three days.
So the other camera's ready to go right there?
- He will come out when we get out of the car.
- It's like a proper ambush.
- Official, wow. - Yeah.
- You know, this is all totally legally, by the way.
You're allowed to, you know,
park in front of someone's house and yeah,
this his all legal.
- Not doing anything right now.
- Oh, my God, there they are, they're there.
Go, go, go, move, move, you're clear.
Here we go, we're live.
Here we go.
Gentlemen, good morning.
Mr. Kelly-Zhang.
- Oh!
- Mr. Kelly-Zhang, hello, hello.
- Hey, guys, good to see you, how are you?
- Hey. - Good morning.
- How are you?
- I got to get my daughter to school, so.
- You know who we are.
- If we can just keep it light.
- How can we help you guys?
- Uh, well, we just wanted to let you guys know,
very simply, we know.
- Okay, we're not interested in-
- We know? - Whatever stunt.
- What do we know? - Yeah.
- What do we know, Kev?
- I think you know what we know.
I think you know what we know.
- I don't know.
- Okay, I'm gonna handle this,
so why don't you just get in the car.
- Okay.
I will, uh, I'll leave you and Kevin's capable hands,
but thank you for coming out and appreciate it.
- Thank you.
- We appreciate you. - Thank you, appreciate it.
- Thank you so much.
- Appreciate the political politics,
politics talking. - We know.
- Um, yeah, you guys are idiots.
- Oh, I'm sorry, did you just call me,
did you just call me an idiot?
I have that on camera.
- Yes, you are one of two.
- What is it that you do, sir,
if you don't mind me asking?
- I am Kevin Soo, I am Mr. Kelly-Zhang's press secretary.
- You're a secretary? - I am.
- Cock.
- Okay, okay, okay.
- Uh. - Mr. Soo.
- That's great.
- Very simply, I want you to know we know
and we wanna give you a chance to comment on this
before everybody knows, 'cause it's out there.
- Kev? - Yeah.
- Let's go. - Two seconds.
- So, we're gonna go.
Have a good day, gentlemen,
I hope that you find something to do today
because this is really stupid.
- This is stupid, we actually have to go,
we have to go to the 7th Street-
- Yeah, we got big plans today.
- Soup Kitchen, we're heading there now,
so we have to go.
- We should probably get running, the traffic.
- You're going to the 7th Street Soup Kitchen.
- Yes, sir. - Yeah, yeah.
- That's where we're going.
- I heard that, thank you for making
your campaign schedule public.
- What?
- 'Cause we're gonna see you there.
And then we're gonna see you at the next place.
- I'm gonna handle it.
- And the next place.
We're gonna be up in your grill.
- Yeah, we're outta here.
Um, I will just have my office reach out on Monday
- Fantastic.
- To let you guys know that, um,
you're total fuckin' losers.
- Oh, we're total fuckin' losers.
- Yeah, have your office tell us.
We need your office to tell us.
- Like that hasn't been said to me a million times.
- We're gonna see you guys in a little bit.
Don't hit anyone.
- You need help backing out?
You need help reversing,
reversing's top. - See you at the soup kitchen.
- Good luck. - We know.
- Hey, we know. - USA, USA.
- We should go, we should go.
Keep movin', movin'.
- You gotta open my side, it's locked.
- No, no, no, no, no.
I locked my keys in the car. - What?
- How, how, how, how, why?
- I was distracted and then I think,
I think I hit the lock button.
- But I don't even think that's possible,
like manufacturers stop doing that.
- No, no, no, no, no, you can play
with it in the settings and change it.
- Why would you change it, though, 'cause we-
- That doesn't matter.
They're on the road.
- Let's call a car, let's call an Uber.
Let's call an Uber.
- How does that work?
- I don't know.
I gotta get it in the app store.
- App store, app store? - Yeah.
- You must connect to wifi
or a cellular data network- - I don't have any cellular.
- To access the store. - Yeah, okay.
- Uh, so today was not the best.
By the time we got to the soup kitchen,
we found out that they had gone to another location,
so we took another Uber to where we thought
they were, but they just ended up shuffling
their schedule around and with the cost
of all the Ubers and the guy
who had to come and break my windows
so that I could get my car keys out
and the parking ticket I got
because of the street cleaning,
I am down roughly 500 bucks on the day.
So, that's not great.
But, I am, uh, not gonna let it ruin the night.
It is someone's birthday
and I'm making their favorite dish, coconut shrimps.
- It's my birthday.
- This recipe is Chef Ted Allen.
- Yeah.
- Who you might know from "Chopped."
- Yo, yo, yo!
- Who is it?
- It's Simon. - Oh, hey.
- What the fuck? - Wow, what a surprise.
- I've been texting you.
- Oh, God, sorry, you know,
my phone charger, the tape on it broke
and what's up?
- I just got a signal hit.
About an hour ago. - Okay.
- From a source who's got some dirt on our guy.
- Are you serious? Okay, here we go.
Talk to me.
- There's apparently a bachelor party video,
clear as day, Antonio doing lines of cocaine.
- God bless cocaine.
Oh, my gosh, have you seen the tape?
- I haven't, no.
- Okay. - But it's there, it's real.
- You know, I got a message from the guy.
He wants to Skype with us tonight.
- He's gonna Skype with us tonight?
- Yeah, he wants to Skype with us.
- Is this really happening?
- It's really happening.
I'm just waiting on a text now.
- My man did it. - Come on.
- Hit me.
- Oh, God, I think you just broke my hand.
- Yeah, so a mid workout, mid workout, right.
- Jesus, wow.
- Also, I got something planned.
Can I, can I crashed here for a few days,
just 'cause I got in kind of a fight with my mom.
- Oh, oh, yeah, oh, you can crash here, oh, yeah.
- For five, that's cool.
- No, no, no, yeah, yeah, I mean,
we're gonna be working on this around the clock, so.
It makes sense if you're just here.
Uh, great, yeah, no, no, no, for sure
and, uh, yeah, that's awesome.
- I'm sorry, hello.
Are you even turning the shrimp?
- Nobody survives being caught
on tape doing hard drugs.
- No. - You're done.
- If anybody ever offered me cocaine,
I'd say no, thank you, you know.
- Yeah, same here. - Nope.
- Yeah, it's not good.
- You're saying you've never done cocaine?
Is that what you're saying?
- Marco, please, what are you,
what are you doing?
- We were supposed to have dinner together.
It's my birthday dinner
and all I had were three little shit shrimps.
- It's your birthday?
- Look, you, here have some more rice.
- I don't want- - Try-
- Marco, shut the fuck up.
- What?
- It's him, he texted.
- What'd he say, what'd he say?
- He said he'll send a Skype link,
but only for using the computer
and an internet cafe.
- And internet cafe.
It's like where you go when-
- Okay, he says we gotta go now.
- There's one on Walnut Street.
Go, go, go, go.
- Looks like we're mobile.
- Hello? I haven't even had my cake yet.
- Okay, we're logging on. - We're logged, there he is.
- Oh, my God. - Shit.
- Hello. - Hello.
- Are you alone?
- Yes, pretty much.
- Do you have the tape?
- Yes, and I will show it to you now.
But you should know, this tape is just
the tip of the iceberg.
Are you ready to open Pandora's Box?
- Yes, we are.
Thank you so much.
- I will now who you the first 10 seconds of this video.
- All right, all right.
- This is it. - Give it to us.
- Um, okay, Source, we're seeing tortoises having sex,
so I don't think- - It's a prank.
- It's a prank, it's a prank.
It's a prank. - This is not-
- Is that you, is that you Sludge Whopper?
- Yes, it is. Suck it, Klingman.
- Rat shit, shit. - Great job.
- So how long did this take you to set up, this little scam?
- I don't know, like eight minutes
and I made you drive to an internet cafe.
- Wasn't even that far, it was like around the corner.
- Four-minute drive, so jokes on you.
- Eat my ass, you fuckin' clown.
- You want to eat your ass, oh, I'll eat it. I'll eat it up.
- Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, chill out. Go on, he got us.
I knew that little rat was gonna,
I knew he was gonna get me.
- Yeah, sometimes someone who approaches you
with information turns out to be a bust.
What are you gonna do?
Are you just gonna cry into your bowl of ice cream?
Yes, but you keep going.
You don't stop.
Stasis is death.
But, uh, I checked in with Mary Jo.
She's, she's very excited
and we have our presser on Friday, so, yeah,
we've moving in the right direction.
- Why don't you cancel the press conference?
- No, you never, ever cancel the presser.
Okay, once you do that, the mainstream media,
they smell blood in the water
and that's when they really go after you
and they say that you're just a loser scam artist
who doesn't have anything.
- But you don't have anything.
- Well, not yet, but we have plenty of time for discovery.
You know, we're hitting it,
the pavement pretty hard right now
and we have the fundraiser tonight,
which is gonna be pretty enlightening, I think,
and we are definitely
in the all guns pointing forward mode,
so we're feeling good, feeling good, right?
I think that we need to take a bigger look
at the big C.
- Ooh, cancer, I don't know,
that helps him, I think, if we do that,
if he has cancer.
- No, college, I don't know why I phrased it like that.
I wanna know more about Antonio in college.
Should've probably done this when we first started.
Antonio Kelly-Zhang.
- What kind of college boy was he?
- Let's figure that out.
- Let's ask Google.
- Boom. UCLA class of 2008. - I knew he was a UCLA brat.
- Okay, okay, how many people do you think were
in his class at UCLA?
- Seven, eight.
- No, I mean, in like his that year?
- Oh, oh, hundreds of thousands.
- Not that many, but a lot. - A lot.
And my point is every single one
of those people might have a story
to tell about Antonio. - Right.
- So, I think it's time we got the worms in.
- And you know what? I think I have a little idea
on how to track some of these guys down.
Facebook alt accounts.
Get on there, reach out to anybody
who graduated '08, UCLA, see if we get anything.
- Do you know how to do that?
- Yeah, it's easy.
- Friggin' Jason Bourne over here.
Whoo!
Look at that, so fast.
Oh, here we go, whoo!
Back in the Benz, early hills.
Oh, my Lord, that was a long one.
- Long time in the car.
- What's tonight all about?
- The Benjis.
- Benjamins.
It's about money.
We're having a little bit of a fundraiser
because what we're doing requires money, you know,
it adds up and Mary Jo was kind enough
to offer up her beautiful home
as long as we were out by eight
and she would not buy the food,
so we picked up the food.
- Yeah, fuckin' had to go to Arcadia for the catering.
- The money we saved, though. - Disgusting place.
- It will make up-
- No, no, no, no, no.
- Uh, pick it up, pick it up, pick it up.
Pick it up, it's fine, five second rule, five second rule.
- You're not, are you still gonna serve these?
- We're still gonna serve 'em, we're gonna dust them off,
we're gonna dust them all off.
You gotta stop, stop it, you got a good onion in my eye.
Thumbs up to camera.
Let's do it.
You guys want a hamburger?
- Okay, how's this angle for you
because this isn't working for me.
- Yeah, I just need to get the rifle in a little more.
- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yep, yep, yep, yep.
- Yeah.
- Okay, ready? - Yeah.
- Let's go.
- That's what I'm saying, big guy.
It might be too late for you,
but this guy, we could really turn his life around, huh?
- Listen, if I get you on a podcast,
I could show you some statistics
that's really back all this up.
- Yeah, I wanna, let me,
I wanna look into that a little bit more.
- Sure, I understand.
- Before I can, you know, it's a hot topic.
- Of course, of course.
You know what, give me your email and I will-
- Excuse me, I'm sorry. - Okay, I will.
- Mary Jo, hi.
- Ricky, hey.
- How are you?
- What are you doing here?
Oh, your party. - It's going on right now.
I'm gonna get you upstairs.
- Have you got some money?
- We are working on it.
Take your time, take your time, my love.
- Whoa!
Here we go, I got you. - There you go.
- Ooh, I squatted, did you see that?
- You got down, I saw. - I got a squat.
- Uh, Mary Jo's great.
I think she took one too many pain pills,
so she's having a nap.
And I see Amy Klort.
Hey.
- Hey, Rick.
Thank, thanks for having me.
- Thank you for coming here.
YouTube queen.
- Oh, and the podcast.
- And the podcast, podcast, YouTube queen.
Go to my Facebook page and there's a little donate link,
button, you can hit that
and it's usually the fourth or fifth Rick Klingman
that comes up in the Facebook,
so look for this face.
Ah, Hartlynn, can I just thank you for coming tonight
and supporting us. - Oh, my God, of course.
- Look, this Antonio guy is the worst.
- Yes.
- If it were up to him, I wouldn't be doing this.
- Piece of shit. - He's the bad guy, yeah.
- And I gotta tell you, this is quite the piece.
- You like it? Yeah.
- Yeah, what are we working with here?
- No, this is an MK-46.
- MK-46, I thought it was something-
- Troops in Afghanistan use this
to take out supply tracks.
- Ooh, that's, hey, support our troops.
- Yeah, and my dad got it for me for my 18th birthday.
- Oh. - So, sweet.
- Your parents are awesome.
- They really are.
- My dad's a dick.
- What a magnificent piece of- - Artillery.
- Death machine. - Death.
- Yeah, that's good.
- Do you wanna hold it? - Whoa.
- Yes, I do and I want you to take a picture of me.
- I'm on my way there.
- Post is on Facebook. - Let's do it, here we go.
- It is really heavy, I don't know if you're strong.
- Ah! I am.
- He's got it. - Whoo!
- He's got it.
- Yeah. If we can get real just for a second,
the most important thing when you're dealing
with guns is safety
and the first thing you gotta do is check the safety.
- Oh, no! - What are you doing?
- It's okay, it's okay, it's okay, I'm so sorry.
- What the- - I was checking the safety.
- By pulling the trigger?
What is wrong with you?
- I thought you had the safety on.
- Dude. - That is my bad, guys.
I'm 95% sure that Mary Jo did not get hit,
but I wanna go check.
- Give it a check, give it a little check.
So, hey, why don't we-
- Fundraising is key.
Cash, check, credit card, bitcoin.
Once got paid in Czechenzachers.
Good luck finding a currency exchange
that will take that, by the way.
Literally looks like Monopoly money.
- What a great group of patriots,
all assembly for a righteous cause, am I right?
- That's right, that is right.
- Oh, man, I also just wanna say I have taken it
upon myself to get you all in
on the ground floor exclusive opportunity
to make some real money, huh?
Everyone one in this room has been pre-approved
to be a regional sales executive
for Shredded Muscle Supplements.
That's right, clipboard's right there.
There's a few pens.
I'm gonna need you all when you have time,
just full name, date of birth,
Social Security, that's important-
- And I can tell you guys,
and I can tell you guys, and I can tell you guys firsthand
how great Shredded is
and we're gonna talk about that later on,
but right now I would be a little remiss
if we didn't talk about why we're here.
We're all here because we love this country.
- Amen.
- And when we see someone like Antonio Kelly-Zhang
attacking it from the inside, what happens?
What do we do?
- Get a rope.
- Hang that fuckin' traitor.
- No, no, we're not gonna hang,
we're not gonna hang anyone.
But what we do is we work together
and we identify our enemy
and then we take 'em out.
- With violence.
- Not with violence, not with violence,
I didn't mean that.
What I'm saying is, is our weapon,
it's not a gun, it's not a knife
or a rope, it's the truth
and the truth is we need money
because if you wanna fix the country,
that ain't cheap, it all adds up,
the research, the hotel, the man hours,
those little tiny corn dogs.
We need you guys' money. - Yeah.
- And there's all different ways you can donate.
You can go on my Facebook page,
you can check him out on social media.
- Take cash. - We have a little form.
- We have different- - Venmo.
- Donor levels. - Yeah.
- Okay, we have bald eagle, Uncle Sam,
Lady Liberty and little stars and stripes.
- We named them to make it fun.
- And little stars and stripes is $2.
And you get a fun little pencil in the mail
and you think in $2, what are
these guys gonna do with $2?
A lot. So, what do you say, can you help us out?
Can you help us out and get some money?
- Get the energy back, whoo!
Well-
You all are wonderful and I have to take this.
Uh, I want you to enjoy yourself.
There's a couple of cupcakes
and maybe half a bottle of wine left.
- Yep. - So, have some fun.
- We gotta be outta here in about five minutes or so,
so thank you guys, we love you
and we will see you on Friday.
It's Jessica from "The Daily Beast."
Jessica, so sorry about that, how are you?
- I saw that you still have
the press conference booked for Friday
and I just wanted to see if you wanted
to give me the exclusive?
- I can't do that, Jessica?
- Rick, can I be honest with you?
- I don't know, you're a journalist, can you?
- I think you're flailing.
You got owned yesterday by Sludge Whopper
and I don't think you have anything
and you're freaking out.
- No, no, you're absolutely wrong.
I am in the hills of Beverly
with some of the most powerful
and influential people west of the Mason Dixon line.
- Rick, look, we've known each other a minute.
Don't do this.
You've got nothing and you're just gonna end up having
a bunch of people laugh at you again.
- Jessica, I'm gonna let you go
because we have things to do,
but I'm gonna see you on Friday
and you're gonna be shocked at how explosive this is, okay?
- Rick, I'm-
- Salivating.
You saw that, she wanted the exclusive.
I was like no way.
How's it going out there?
- Uh, no one's donating anything.
- Okay. - Yep.
- I think they're all broke. - Yes.
- So, we should just get outta here.
Let's pack up the catering supplies
because if we get them back to Arcadia by 10,
full deposit back.
Oh, God. - I like that.
- Hi, how are you?
- I'm good, man, I'm real good.
- Enjoying your night?
- Yeah, big time.
It's an event. - Yes.
- I don't judge people.
I won't do it, 'cause you never know.
You don't know.
Someone might be coming to you with information
and, yes, they might smell really bad
or, or have just like a, like a crazy looking face
and I don't say get outta here, you freak.
I say, "Tell me what you know."
I don't think we've met, I'm Rick Klingman.
- Original Patriot. - Original Patriot.
- You reposted some of my YouTube videos.
- I knew I knew you from somewhere.
I, I, I, I, think you did one about may family court.
- That's right. - Yeah, it was good.
- That's right.
- I don't even have kids and that judge sounds nuts, so.
- What I'd like to do is introduce you
to my cousin.
- Who's your cousin?
- Arliss. - Okay, but-
- No, I think he's saying why should we meet your cousin?
- Well, because I saw that the cocaine tape
was some bullshit.
- Now, does he have photos of Antonio doing cocaine?
Because that is really- - That'd be great.
- What we would, what we would love.
- If you just come out, it's your card.
- Call him.
- It has been an insane 12 hours.
We returned all the catering equipment
and got our full deposit back, nice.
Much more importantly, we spoke to one Arliss.
- Yes.
- And he does not have a tape of Antonio doing drugs.
- Big bummer, big bummer.
- He's got a sex tape. - Even better.
- We got a sex tape.
- If this tape is real- - Sex tape.
- Which is what we're gonna go find out right now.
- Gotta go confirm- - Confirm information.
- Make sure the information is good.
- Is solid, concrete.
Anywhere from just being passable to pretty wonderful.
- If it's real- - It's game over.
- That's it, it's game, it's swish, swish.
He's a little nervous about maybe showing his face,
so I made sure that we would agree
to blur his face out.
- Rick, I said I wouldn't do that.
- If it comes up, go to the bathroom or something, dude.
- You do background checks
on all your sources, right?
- Background check, you're gonna do
a background check on every single person you meet?
Did you do a background check on me?
- We did.
- Did you really?
So, we're meeting our contact at Chang Du,
but we're a little bit early,
so we're gonna grab a juice. - Juice it up.
- What is better than a mini mall?
- A bigger mall, definitely.
- Oh, no, see a bigger mall is too big.
It's got too much stuff.
Like what more do you need than like a salon,
a Chinese place, there's a vape shop, I think.
It's perfect. - Anything else would be good.
- Oh, my God. - What?
- I know you guys.
- Oh, really.
- Yeah, you were protesting that Seth Rogen play, right?
- That was us, it was mostly me, though.
- Eat shit, you fuckin' hogs.
Huh!
- It's in my eye, hey, it's in my eye.
Oh, my God, oh, my God.
- Oh, it's so cold, it's so cold, it's so cold.
- Let's, hey, hey, hey, be cool, be cool.
I think someone might be filming.
Someone might be filming. - We gotta cancel the meeting.
- No, no, no, no. - Nope, I'm going home.
- Hey-
- I'm not doing meetings like this.
I'm going home. - Stop, stop.
- Always keep an extra suit handy.
- No.
- A-K-E-S. - No.
- H, hey, you gotta do it.
- It's never gonna fit me.
That is never gonna fit me.
- Okay. - I'm too lean.
- It's the only option. - No.
- Listen to me, listen to me.
- I'll look like an idiot.
- Take it off, I have a shirt, I have a shirt.
You take it off.
We can't go home, he's waiting, he's probably waiting-
- Fine, fine, fine. - Do it.
- And this is a great suit.
This is Burmese.
Burmese rayon, oh, you're wasting-
Hi, how are you? Good to see you.
We're, uh- - Fuckin' zoot suit, right?
- Just, chill, just- - Okay.
- He's right there. - Don't-
- He's right there, that's him. That's him right over there.
- All right, let's go, get ready.
- We're gonna speak to those guys, all business.
You are the gentleman we're looking for, I believe?
- They're gonna blur my face, right?
- The two cameras, they're gonna both blur
your face out, so you can relax, okay?
- Shall we.
- Not my suit, by the way,
so just wanted to, uh- - Looks great.
- Before we even get started,
why don't you go ahead and order whatever you want
on the menu on us.
- Get a couple menus.
- No, no, I already ate, yeah.
- Okay.
- Been here like an hour.
Got here early.
- We apologize.
We had an incident outside, might be ANTIFA,
we don't know. - Mm-hmm.
- I think you know why we're here.
We need to see the tape.
- And I wanna show it to you. - Great.
- I wanna show it to you, but- - That's great.
- We need to talk.
Compensation. - Absolutely.
- Yeah.
- Tell us what you had in mind?
- $10,000.
- That's what you want?
From us?
- I mean, I'm putting myself out on the line here.
- Honest, I don't have $10,000 in assets.
- What do you mean you don't have $10,000.
- You should look at that, seriously.
- Here's the deal.
You show me the tape, there's an ATM right there.
I will walk out, withdraw 60 bucks,
that's my limit, we wait a few hours,
I'll get the next 40.
You're home by five with 100 bucks in your pocket.
- All right, all right, all right.
- That's how it's done on Wall Street.
- Yeah, no, it's actually really massive.
- I have so many questions as to how you got this,
but I'm not gonna ask because-
- All right, check out this fuck fest.
- Yeah, gives us the fucky, fucky, fucky.
- Yeah, look at that.
Look at that naughty boy.
That's your guy, right?
- Is this it? - That's it, that's it.
- That's not it, that's not him.
- That's him, that's his face.
- That is his face.
That's the guy you're looking-
- It's it face, but it's like-
- He's floating around on-
- It's like in South Park- - Yes.
- With Saddam Hussein where he's ah, ah.
- Right, yes, yeah.
Fuck me Satan. - Yeah, that-
- It's a weird angle.
Guys, this is loaded.
- A weird angle?
- It's what, it's low budget.
This is a Gonzo style porno, this will pass.
- I can't believe you wanted $10,000 for this crap.
Are you insane?
- Shoot for the stars.
- Are you insane?
- Hey, can you calm down, now.
- We're almost done, Sunil, give me a second, you owe me.
- No, no, no.
Get out of here.
- Get out of here?
- Come on, get, I don't want you here.
Come on, get out.
- Why don't we pause it.
- Okay, if I get out, I'm never coming back.
I won't be here Thursday,
I won't be here Sunday.
I won't be here Christmas Eve with you.
- Come on.
- All right, you know, actually he's right, this sucks.
We're outta here.
- Excuse me, excuse me, you just broke my laptop.
- Uh-huh, okay, sue me.
I'm a lawyer, I'll see you in court.
- I will be billing you.
- What a waste of time, what a waste of time.
Sunil, are placing a to go order.
- It will pass.
- I am a little stressed.
I have a press conference in 36 hours,
I have no idea what I'm gonna say
and I have Mary Jo calling every 10 minutes saying,
the election's soon, when's the update, what's happening?
And I don't know what to tell her,
so I'm feeling the pressure, but got a sugar boost.
Got my man on the keys right there.
He's- - No, no, no.
- I am not doing his laundry.
- Okay, Marco, can you just relax?
It's all in the same basket.
- How about I relax like this.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, Marco, Marco.
Are you serious?
- I'm serious. I'm done dealing with this shit.
Just eat your ice cream.
- Come back here right now.
- English!
- English, English.
Fired.
He's probably fire after throwing something at me.
He can't do that. He can't do that!
- I got it?
- Got what?
- I fuckin' got it!
- This is a legitimate hail Mary situation.
Okay, this genius, his Facebook plan worked.
- Yep.
Heard from one of Antonio's old classmates
from UCLA who, guess what, hates the guy.
- No, no, no, no, doesn't just hate him,
says she has career-ending evidence,
those are the words she used.
- Yep, vice versa.
- We're gonna go talk to her right now.
You are gonna get kissed.
Not by me.
- Don't touch me.
- Hi! - How are you?
- Can I help you?
- Yes, we are looking for Carol Weiston.
- Wishspoon, wishpoon.
- No, Ouistablufin.
- Yes. That's the one.
Hey, Carol's my wife.
- I wanna get to why we're here.
Now, Carol, you were classmates
with Antonio at UCLA, is that right?
- Yes.
We were in the same dorm.
- And what was your, uh,
what was your impression of Antonio?
- Well, he was Mister Popular
and everybody loved him.
- Mm-hmm. - Yep.
- But, to me, he was just, I don't know,
he was like an attention seeking phony.
- I hate that type. - Hate it.
- Hate 'em all. - The worst.
- I didn't really mind it,
but well, see, we had this professor,
Professor Allen Silverstein,
but this one night a bunch
of the students were drinking in the dorms
and Antonio just went off on Mr. Silverstein,
just called him all sorts of names, you know,
'cause he's Jewish.
And I said, "Antonio, stop that."
He just kept saying such hurtful, mean racist things.
Jews are a race, right?
- Yes.
- Technically a religion, but yes, yes.
It's all good.
- It's just not right, you know.
- No, it's not.
It's not, it's okay. - It's wrong is what it is.
- You didn't do anything wrong.
Here, this is clean.
- I'm sorry to get emotional, it's just-
- No, no, don't you apologize.
- Fucked up is what it is.
- This has been in my pocket, but it's clean.
- Take your time.
- Hey, hey, hey.
You are a hero- - But-
- There's one more thing I need you to do.
Carol, if there's a way
for you to say exactly what you said to us,
just right now at our press conference tomorrow,
forget about it.
- I bet people are gonna say really mean things
about me in the press and on Facebook and stuff.
- Can I be real with you?
Can I get real with you right now?
They will.
All I can promise you is that we will stand next
to you and behind you and also in front of you
with everything we got.
- Okay, I'll do it.
- My hands are a little sweaty, I apologize.
- All right, is everything okay in here.
- It was until about three seconds ago.
- She saw your face.
- She got upset.
- No, no, it wasn't that.
Here, Carol, do you need a glass of wine.
- Goldmine, goldmine.
- This is happening.
- He's fucked. - Bye-bye.
- He's fucked.
You can't say anything about the Jewish people.
- No. - That is a no go.
- Nor should you.
I got cat dander on me. - Yeah, you do.
- Worth it.
Oh, what is?
Hey, I'm sorry, Marco, what is, are you moving out?
- This is all your shit.
I'm doing sharing this space with you.
- What the fuck?
Your assistant's kicking you out.
- No, no, no.
- Assistant.
- Hey, I wanna talk to you over there.
Come with me.
- Oh, my God, no.
- I'm not chasing you.
Hey.
- Just gonna work it out really quick.
- You can't do this, Marco.
- I am sick of this.
I'm sick of the cameras, I'm sick of that boy.
I'm sick of all of that.
- No, no, no, I don't care.
You literally cannot do this, this is my condo.
- You cannot sleep here tonight.
- Oh, here we are, hotel style
where the presser's is gonna be tomorrow,
just a few floors downstairs,
but we're here, we're maxin' and relaxin'.
- Two kings just resting before battle.
- Thank God I did not cancel that press conference.
They wanted me to cancel it and I said no
and this is why.
You and I, my friend, are gonna be in high demand.
They're gonna want us on all the shows.
- Oh, yeah.
- This is time to kind of chill.
- Should I wake him?
He sounds like he's fuckin' dyin'.
What do we do?
- Yeah, I don't think he's breathing.
- I should probably wake him. - Yeah.
- Yo, yo, yo.
- Oh, oh, hey, hey, I'm here.
Did I fall asleep?
Sorry about that.
Oh, it's all about the press conference.
Yeah, that's the coupe de gras,
where it's me in my element.
I'm up there, I am controlling the room.
I am playing them all like a little fiddle.
So, here's what we're looking at.
Breakfast is on the way. - Break it down.
- It's 9:11 right now.
Carol's gonna be here at 10.
Bring her up here, we'll prep her for a little bit.
- Yeah.
- Secure us the late checkout.
We'll meet in the lobby at 1:45.
Presser starts at 2 o'clock.
Loud buzz online. - Oh, yeah.
- I don't know if you've been seeing what's happening.
- Oh, I saw, I saw.
They think it's a sex tape, bunch of perverts.
- They're gonna be floored
when they find out it's about the Jews.
Oh, God, sounds harsh.
Jewish, Jewish folks, our Jewish friends.
When they find out it's about our Jewish friends.
My friend, Juan, come on in, buddy.
- You scared me.
- Come on in, yeah, we're making a little documentary.
You weren't here last night, they weren't here.
He served us a delicious hot fudge sundae last night,
wonderful man right here, wonderful man.
- Hope y'all had a nice night.
- I slept like a log, my friend.
- Yeah, I slept like shit next to this log,
'cause he snores.
- I forgot my CPAP machine
and he has not let me forget about it.
- Right. - I almost died, by the way.
- I slept like, I look terrible,
I got bags under my eyes.
- Yeah, well, I couldn't breathe
for an hour and a half.
- So, what time is it right now?
- Uh, 10, three-four, so Carol's a little bit late.
Not a big deal.
Traffic, LA, yeah.
- Yeah, no biggie whatsoever.
- She's in or out as we say.
- It's the standard, standard LA time,
everyone runs late.
You're not cool if you ain't late, you know.
That's what they say, so.
Maybe we should call her.
- I'm gonna call her just because, you know,
maybe, hi, Carol, Rick Klingman here with Simon.
10:35, just wondering, you know, where you're at.
Um, we're here and we'll see you in a few hopefully.
Thanks, Carol, bye.
- How did it go? What did she say?
- Oh, it was a voicemail.
Carol, it's Rick. It's 11:33.
What Antonio said was despicable
and you have an obligation to tell people what happened
and we're here to help you.
And I promise you-
- If you are satisfied
with your message, press one.
- Son of a gun. - What'd she say?
- It was a voicemail.
Okay, um, I'm officially worried.
- Should we, do we need to go get her or something, huh?
- Well, no, she's 90 minutes away,
we won't make it back in time.
- We need to put some new kind of plan into action.
- Yeah.
I think the move here- - Yeah.
- Is wait.
He worked out again.
- The press conference is in 30 minutes.
What's going through your mind right now?
- What's going through my mind right now is
that Carol is nowhere to be seen,
which means I think she bailed on this whole thing
and I can't believe that,
so I'm trying to come up with an alternative plan.
Right, now here's the deal.
I want her to sit here.
Look at me, I want you-
Coming.
I want you to sit, like stand right here.
- Stand over, okay.
- Here we go, all right? - Like a lamp.
- I got this.
- Hey, Rick. - How are you?
- Doing well. - Good to see you.
- You remember our little crew?
- Yep, hi, guys.
- From New York.
If you wanna grab a seat right there, you know-
- Oh, yes, thank you.
- Simon, of course.
- Ooh, Jessica, yes, hey.
- Hey, Simon.
- Thank you for coming here and joining us.
- Can you not stand there? - Yeah, I don't need to.
- It's insane.
- Yeah, yeah. You can just go over there.
- Sit over here.
- Yeah, he doesn't need to.
Oh, can I get you something from the minibar?
You want a little-
- Oh, I'm good, thanks.
- You sure?
You okay? - Yeah.
- Okay.
All right.
- So? - So-
- What's going on?
We're like what's not going on.
Here's what's going on.
We wanna give you the exclusive.
We talked about it and we think
that you are kind of the only person we trust
to tell you this story to put it out there
to the world.
- Get posting, get typing.
- Are you serious? - You're welcome.
- The press conference is in 10 minutes.
How is that an exclusive?
- I mean, because you would have
the story 10 minutes before everyone else.
- Well, I don't think my colleagues
that are waiting for the press conference
you promised them would appreciate that very much.
- This is earth shattering stuff
and we're giving it all to you, all to you.
No one else.
What do you say?
- I have always been up front with you, Rick,
and you, Simon.
I think that you guys are con artists,
but I write about you because I find it entertaining
and frankly I have the duty to expose your bullshit,
but if you're gonna call a presser
and have a bunch of reporters come all
the way over here and then not talk to them,
then I'm done with you for real.
And so is everyone else.
Rick, Rick, you don't have to keep doing
this stuff, you know.
There are other ways to make a living.
It's not about the money, okay,
it's not why I do what I do.
I want people to know the truth
and I just, I feel good when I'm standing up there
and I'm telling them this.
It makes me feel good, it gives me purpose.
And I just, it gets harder and harder to do
with people just, they go after you
and they just make fun of you
and I'm tired of it and I don't know, I just,
maybe you're right,
you know- - Yeah.
- Maybe I need to not-
- Holy shit.
- Go towards the real-
- Carol's here, she's downstairs.
- Shut, shut up, shut up. - Go time.
- Whoo! - Go time.
- Fuckin' blew it, Jessica.
- Move, move.
- This way? - Yep.
- Left or right, left or right?
- Left. - Yep.
- Right, right, right, right, right.
No, no, step only, step only, come on, come on.
Here we go and no, no, no, no.
- What, what?
- It's the pool, it's the pool, the pool.
- Jesus Christ.
- Thank you for coming.
You are four hours late. - I know.
- Man. - I'm sorry.
- We thought you had some kind of change
of heart or something and-
- No, I, I wanna tell the truth.
- Angels.
- You're an angel.
- All right.
- Okay.
- You been drinking?
- No, just a glass of wine to calm my nerves.
- Okay, that's fine, that's good, no, it's fine
to have a glass.
They say one glass a day's healthy.
All right, you start live streaming.
- We're live, baby.
- Everyone settle, we're going live.
You go first, you come with me,
you're the caboose.
There we go.
Hello, everyone, right in here.
You guys can go ahead, Carol,
we got seats for you
and you can take the one that's kind
of further towards the window.
What is, when did you put up this?
- It's nice, right?
I put it up this morning.
- Yeah, I think it's great.
I think we should take it down.
- No can do, no can do, it's free publicity.
- No, but I want you to hear me right now.
This is the most important moment of my life.
- Our life. - Our life.
- And I want this taken down right now.
- Changes.
Don't tear it, don't tear it.
- Yep, yep, yep.
- I'm just gonna let-
- You can fold that up over there.
Good afternoon.
My name is Rick Klingman.
This, of course, is Simon Tarnum.
We are here today to talk about Antonio Kelly-Zhang,
who is running for Congress right here
in California's 40th district.
And I, I wanna be clear.
When Simon and I began this investigation,
we, uh, we went into it with an open mind
and we were not prepared
to find out what we did.
Now, without any further ado,
I'm gonna introduce Carol Ouistablufen
and she has a story to tell, Carol.
- Thank you, thank you.
- Hi.
I'm Carol, um-
- Speak up, speak up.
- Sorry.
From 2005 to 2008, I was classmates
with Antonio Kelly-Zhang.
One night in our dorm,
there were some antisemitic references made
in regard to humanities professor, Allen Silverstein.
They were hateful and deeply insulting
to Professor Silverstein, his religion and his culture.
These antisemitic comments were made by me.
Yeah, I did them.
I said the words that were anti the Jews.
I think I'm not a happy person.
I have a, I have a little bit of a drinking problem.
I spend 16 hours a day on Facebook
and just sit around all day glugging wine
and talking shit.
I think I'm just angry about how my life turned out.
I want to apologize to all of you, especially Antonio.
That felt good, thanks.
Where's my phone, I should check Facebook.
- You guys are just gonna leave now?
Yeah, go ahead. - We are.
- Thank you guys. - Thanks for having us.
- Thank you so much.
At this point, we would like
to open it up to any questions you might have.
- Yeah, yeah, what was that?
Because it seems like Mr. Kelly-Zhang hasn't done
anything bad at all
and you all are just, in fact, desperate for attention.
- I mean, look, look, you know what the thing is,
this is not even the only thing.
There was, this is, it's part of a mosaic.
- One of a hundred we got for you today.
- Yeah, this guy-
- Just scratchin' the surface, people.
- Yeah, what are the other ones?
- We have heard that allegedly he molested a co-worker.
- Okay, who's accusing him of this?
- His name is Fred Zurtz.
- Don't say his last name.
- He said that he, he got his penis snapped back.
- What does that mean?
- By Antonio, he said exactly-
- Here's, here's- - Let me clarify.
- Why was he naked at work?
- He wasn't naked. - He wasn't.
- He was not naked.
- We asked the same thing.
- He was wearing sweatpants. - Good question.
- He worked at Lavashe Restaurant in Beverly Hills.
- So he had to go under the waistband.
- He was wearing sweats at work
and he alleges that Antonio-
- Pulled the, pulled the dick and snapped it back.
- There's no way that happened.
- He pulled the dick and snapped it back, that's what-
- Is this the same Fred Zurtz,
who was picked up for masturbating
in Hollywood on Tuesday?
- It is a, it is a, it was actually-
- I do not believe so, no.
- That is a different- - What a waste of our time.
- It's not a waste of your time.
- That's number two, we've got plenty, just wait, buckle up.
- There was a sex tape.
- Oh, my gosh.
- We don't have-
- Show it to us.
- We do not have-
- You wanna see it? - We, we-
- Who else wants to see it?
- We don't have a sex tape.
- So, now you're accusing someone of making a sex tape
and saying you have it in your possession.
- No. - Show it to us.
- Okay.
- Whoa, that's a little loud, okay.
- He's gonna play it, he's gonna play it.
- That's insane.
- Dude, that's not even a deep fake,
it's just a fake.
- It's a deep real.
- You guys are clowns. - We're clowns.
- You're a clown, you're a clown.
- You're a fucking clown. - You're a clown, don't swear.
- You're a fucking clown.
- You're a clown.
- Those glasses, you look like a fuckin' clown.
What's everybody laughing at.
No, you're all fuckin' clowns.
Because we're doing your job up here.
You think this is fun for us?
You think we like doing this? No.
- What you're doing is wrong.
- But you know what what you do is wrong, Jessica.
Every time I fucking see you-
- Get out of my face.
- Jesus, come on, Jess. - Oh!
- Are you okay?
Are you okay?
- Yes, I'm okay. - It doesn't matter.
- You. - Come on, guys.
- Didn't even hurt.
And I have to go to the bathroom, and that's,
and it didn't hurt.
- Simon, Simon, wait.
This press conference is over, Simon.
Simon, Simon, wait. - No!
- Simon.
Simon, We're fine.
Simon, listen to me.
- You know what,
we're fuckin' losers. - No, don't say that.
- No, no, no, no, oh, God.
- I'm sorry, I need my mom.
- Simon.
Simon.
Agh!
Enough of the fuckin' movie.
I know you, I know you.
Yeah, Antonio Kelly-Zhang won by a lot.
Did I enjoy watching him do a little skit
at the Oscars with Jeremy Rinner,
my favorite Avenger, no.
I've been doing so much reflection
and, and working on myself so much
and trying to figure out how I can still deliver
the truth to people and luckily I figured out
the perfect way.
Podcast, I started my own podcast.
- Welcome back to "Maximum Truth Cast,"
the only podcast where we discuss
what's actually going on in our country.
We are streaming audio, we are streaming video
and I'm going to beg you to please subscribe
to my channel.
Okay, every time I put out one of these videos, ah, shit.
- What happened?
- Damn power cord finally gave out on me.
Does anyone feel like going to Radio Shack?
Marco and I are actually not working together anymore,
which is, uh, yeah, sad to be honest.
He was a really great employee.
I mean, I still see him nonstop.
Literally refused to move out, he squatted.
And financially we both realized
it made more sense to stay roommates, you know.
And I gotta say, Andre's a nice guy.
Have Simon and I been talking?
We have spoken, we have texted, we've emailed, DMs,
but we have not seen each other since the hotel,
since, uh, the incident.
When I, when I got pushed on the stairs.
We are in Ontario Valley minimum security prison.
I've spent a lot of times in prisons, unfortunately.
'Cause of clients and some friends
and, uh, one family member.
- So, basically what happened was these guys
that I partnered up with on Shredded,
put something in one of the batches,
some kind of additive,
I think it was consistent with methamphetamine,
I don't really know, but, uh,
yeah, a bunch of people got sick
and guess who got charged?
This guy. Seven months.
- There he is, my man. - Hey.
- Come on, give me a hug.
- I'm not allowed to go past the yellow line,
you gotta come here.
- Oh, oh, yeah, okay, no problem.
Come on.
- What's going on, Rick.
- No touching.
- Yeah. - Sorry.
- Sorry about that.
- Sit down.
- Welcome. - Huh?
- You look incredible. - I know.
- Maybe I should go to prison.
- Hey, prison looks good on some people.
- It does.
- You bring what I asked for?
- I did.
So, here's the deal. - Yeah.
- It's in my left sock and I think
you should start sneezing or something
and then I can, when that guard walks past us again
I'm gonna just do a little hand off.
- Oh, there's literally no need to do that.
It's a minimum security, a detention center,
you can just pass it to me.
- Oh-
- You're allowed to get stuff, right.
- Here we go.
This was unnecessary.
- Yeah, you wear your big socks.
- Big socks to bring you chicken breasts
as requested right there.
- Those are, uh, those are raw, those are pretty raw.
- Yeah.
- You didn't cook them?
- Did you want me to?
- Yeah, I can't cook them in here.
What do you think I have like a fuckin' stove?
- Oh, my God. - Olive oil.
- I am so sorry.
Okay, here's the deal. I'm gonna put them back in my sock.
- No, no, no. - I'll bring them back.
- Honestly, it's not worth it
and I'm kind of desperate. I'll, I can put it in the toilet,
it might be cold enough, they might keep.
Fine, I'll figure it out, you know.
I actually wanna talk to you about something
that I didn't really wanna say over the phone,
but- - I'm listening.
- Yeah, yeah, it's just kind of too important.
- Yeah, go for it.
- So, I been doing some thinking.
I met this guy in here named Uri.
Used to be special forces in Belarus, okay?
- Oh, Belarus.
- His brother-in-law, this guy named Ivan
runs a bunch of tire centers in the valley.
So, we're talking deep pockets.
- Oh, yeah, he's got tire money.
- Yeah, yeah. I'm thinking he makes the perfect bank
when we set up our new shop.
- Oh, yeah.
- You know what I'm saying?
Dude, the day I get outta here,
we start our new outfit,
full scale intelligence operation.
I'm talking like, like a whole nother level.
These fucks are never gonna know what hit 'em, huh?
- Yes.
- We're gonna take those dudes down.
Those fucks who fuckin' embarrassed us.
- No, no, no, no, hey, listen.
This sounds amazing. - Revenge mission.
- You're doing a lot of planning, huh?
- Yeah, dude.
- Well, I'm, I'm down. - Yeah?
- Of course, man.
We get to get the team back together,
get the band back together.
- Get that band, yeah, rock and roll.
- Not the team, the band back together.
- All right, well, listen, I got, uh,
I got pottery in about five minutes, but, um-
- Oh, wow, pottery.
Sounds good.
- It was good to see you, though.
Come on, come on, give me a goodbye.
- Whoo! - Why not.
- No touching.
- Sorry. - All right.
- That was our first good one.
- Be good.
- I miss you, don't forget your chicken.
- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Are you sure you don't want me to cook it
and bring it back?
- No, this is better.
This'll be better.
- Okay. - Yeah.
- If one thing, I think raw, it might be more protein.
I think cooking it burns off the protein.
Let's try it.
- Cook that chicken.
- How was it seeing Simon?
- It was fine.
I just don't think Simon's learned anything.
You know, I [sighs], I hope he's okay.
It's a tough world out there
and he's just a kid.
I wish him the best.
- So, you're not gonna work with him again?
- Oh, no, for sure I am, yeah.
No, I mean, you gotta stay in the game.
You know, when you stay in the game,
I'm working with great people
and you just keep talking
and if you talk long enough,
your message will get out.
- What is your message?
- Whatever I'm paid to say it is.
And I'll say it with pride.
Oh, uh-oh.
I got a little pickup.
- How you you been driving for Uber?
- Uh, three months.
I love it.
Love it, great company.
Only company I will ever work for.
Where the hell am I?
♪ Looking out the window at a world on fire ♪
♪ It's plain to see the end is near ♪
♪ Seen all the sights
♪ Tired of the lights
♪ So you can let me off right here ♪
♪ This town's getting crowded
♪ Truth's been shrouded
♪ I think it's time to change up the sound ♪
♪ Yeah, the wheels keep turning ♪
♪ The flames gettin' higher
♪ Another cycle goes around
♪ Face in the mirror, all skin and bones ♪
♪ Bloodshot eyes and a heart of stone ♪
♪ Never again, I'd rather be alone ♪
♪ Think I'm gonna just stay home ♪
♪ And make art, not friends
♪ I love saying no to all the yes men ♪
♪ Just to see the look on their face ♪
♪ I love how everybody knows what's best ♪
♪ But nobody knows their place
♪ Sucker every second, stack 'em up to the sky ♪
♪ For every winner there's a hundred that died ♪
♪ So you get yours and stay outta mine ♪
♪ Here's to the memories, where do I sign ♪
♪ Face in the mirror, all skin and bones ♪
♪ Bloodshot eyes and a heart of stone ♪
♪ Never again, I'd rather be alone ♪
♪ Think I'm gonna just stay home ♪