1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:00:20,063 --> 00:00:24,328 [waves crashing] 4 00:00:32,510 --> 00:00:35,296 [electric buzzing] 5 00:00:40,388 --> 00:00:43,739 [eerie singing] 6 00:00:53,488 --> 00:00:56,882 [somber piano melody] 7 00:01:20,384 --> 00:01:22,821 [Nevaeh] Okay. So these are the rules. 8 00:01:22,952 --> 00:01:25,259 You have to get from here to there 9 00:01:25,346 --> 00:01:28,175 without touching the floor or the light. 10 00:01:28,305 --> 00:01:30,177 All right, Bearbear, you can do this. 11 00:01:30,307 --> 00:01:32,440 Just have to go slow, okay? 12 00:01:34,311 --> 00:01:37,532 -[Chama panting] -[indistinct whispering] 13 00:01:44,539 --> 00:01:46,541 You can do it, Bearbear. You just have to jump. 14 00:01:47,455 --> 00:01:48,586 Okay, ready? 15 00:01:53,591 --> 00:01:55,985 [indistinct whispering] 16 00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:58,944 [Chama panting] 17 00:02:05,386 --> 00:02:06,604 [whispering and panting fade] 18 00:02:12,915 --> 00:02:15,265 [Chama] Sometimes I can feel the sky as it rotates. 19 00:02:20,488 --> 00:02:22,968 It scatters my thoughts, creating this... 20 00:02:24,753 --> 00:02:26,015 sound. 21 00:02:28,322 --> 00:02:29,410 And it'll grow louder. 22 00:02:31,499 --> 00:02:32,413 More aggressive. 23 00:02:35,198 --> 00:02:36,417 Like two people fighting. 24 00:02:39,637 --> 00:02:42,292 I look up and I know I can keep my shit together. 25 00:02:44,816 --> 00:02:46,296 And then it rains. 26 00:02:47,428 --> 00:02:49,125 [thunder cracking] 27 00:02:49,256 --> 00:02:51,301 [rain pouring] 28 00:02:59,440 --> 00:03:00,658 [Chama coughing] 29 00:03:08,579 --> 00:03:11,060 [engine revving] 30 00:03:12,322 --> 00:03:13,541 [engine sputtering] 31 00:03:21,940 --> 00:03:24,204 [muffled sound of raindrops] 32 00:03:34,823 --> 00:03:36,564 [raindrops tapping] 33 00:03:54,321 --> 00:03:55,887 It's gonna stop, baby girl. 34 00:03:56,018 --> 00:03:58,890 If it doesn't, I'll be the only kid in class 35 00:03:58,977 --> 00:04:00,240 with an indoor swimming pool. 36 00:04:01,719 --> 00:04:04,374 Ooh, quefancy. 37 00:04:06,681 --> 00:04:08,552 You don't need a flood to stand out. 38 00:04:09,466 --> 00:04:11,381 You've got grease all over your face. 39 00:04:13,905 --> 00:04:16,430 Oh, yeah. You, like, totally got it now. 40 00:04:16,560 --> 00:04:18,214 It looks all bad. 41 00:04:19,694 --> 00:04:21,086 [Chama chuckles] 42 00:04:27,049 --> 00:04:28,268 [Chama] It will grow louder. 43 00:04:31,183 --> 00:04:32,576 The lights will turn off. 44 00:04:32,707 --> 00:04:34,404 [car honking] 45 00:04:34,535 --> 00:04:35,492 The roof will cave in. 46 00:04:35,623 --> 00:04:38,843 [indistinct whispering] 47 00:04:38,974 --> 00:04:40,323 Everything will fall apart. 48 00:04:40,454 --> 00:04:43,631 [Chama panting] 49 00:04:43,761 --> 00:04:45,110 And I wonder if you can hear me. 50 00:04:47,025 --> 00:04:49,332 [panting continues] 51 00:04:49,463 --> 00:04:51,726 [indistinct whispering] 52 00:04:55,817 --> 00:04:58,123 [birds chirping] 53 00:05:03,390 --> 00:05:06,306 [tense music playing] 54 00:05:06,436 --> 00:05:08,438 [woman panting] 55 00:05:13,313 --> 00:05:14,314 Don't let go. 56 00:05:15,837 --> 00:05:16,794 Don't let go. 57 00:05:18,274 --> 00:05:19,319 Please. 58 00:05:19,449 --> 00:05:20,494 [mouthing] 59 00:05:24,976 --> 00:05:27,675 [indistinct rambling] 60 00:05:37,511 --> 00:05:38,990 Hold your hand. 61 00:05:39,121 --> 00:05:41,776 No, don't let me. It's my fault. I did it. 62 00:05:42,951 --> 00:05:44,605 Who's she talking to? 63 00:05:44,692 --> 00:05:47,825 [woman talking in distance] 64 00:05:47,956 --> 00:05:49,000 [Chama] Jesus. 65 00:05:49,392 --> 00:05:50,524 [Nevaeh] Is he listening? 66 00:05:51,655 --> 00:05:52,700 I don't know, baby girl. 67 00:05:54,005 --> 00:05:55,311 [Nevaeh] Is she crazy? 68 00:06:01,883 --> 00:06:03,101 I don't know, baby girl. 69 00:06:03,232 --> 00:06:04,189 [woman shouting] You're on fire. 70 00:06:04,320 --> 00:06:05,539 You set it on fire! 71 00:06:07,671 --> 00:06:10,892 I'm holding your fucking hand, 72 00:06:11,022 --> 00:06:13,808 fuck you, you fucking ugly fucker, fucker, fucker... 73 00:06:13,895 --> 00:06:17,289 Hold your hand. I'm holding your hand. 74 00:06:17,377 --> 00:06:19,553 [Chama panting] 75 00:06:21,903 --> 00:06:23,861 [Chama sobbing] 76 00:06:26,908 --> 00:06:29,824 [panting continues] 77 00:06:31,826 --> 00:06:32,870 [Matias] You got lost, Chama, or what? 78 00:06:34,002 --> 00:06:35,220 Where you going? 79 00:06:37,135 --> 00:06:38,702 Don't be all nosy, Matias. 80 00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:41,879 She has a job interview. 81 00:06:42,010 --> 00:06:43,838 Oh, where at? 82 00:06:44,229 --> 00:06:45,535 You my PO now or something? 83 00:06:49,931 --> 00:06:52,281 [bus squeaking] 84 00:06:58,200 --> 00:07:00,376 Look, it's, like, a good job opportunity, okay? 85 00:07:00,898 --> 00:07:02,552 Gonna pay real good, 86 00:07:02,683 --> 00:07:03,423 then you won't be seeing us no more. 87 00:07:07,818 --> 00:07:08,906 Who names their kid Chama? 88 00:07:11,561 --> 00:07:12,867 It's short for Elena. 89 00:07:14,869 --> 00:07:16,784 -No, it isn't. -It is, if I say it is. 90 00:07:17,915 --> 00:07:19,874 Anybody ever tell you you got spiders in your veins? 91 00:07:20,004 --> 00:07:21,310 Anyone ever tell you to put on some shoes? 92 00:07:31,581 --> 00:07:33,235 Come on, baby, get your bag. 93 00:07:35,759 --> 00:07:36,630 [Matias] That you? 94 00:07:37,587 --> 00:07:38,719 Yeah, that's me. 95 00:07:39,197 --> 00:07:40,547 [Matias] Hey, good luck out there. 96 00:07:45,508 --> 00:07:47,205 Let me see. 97 00:07:48,032 --> 00:07:49,381 You're gonna lose everything if you don't close your backpack. 98 00:07:49,991 --> 00:07:51,775 Come on. Got everything you need? 99 00:07:52,515 --> 00:07:54,561 Mm-hmm. 100 00:07:54,648 --> 00:07:55,866 I'm gonna be right here, waiting for you after school. 101 00:07:55,997 --> 00:07:56,824 Really? 102 00:07:57,607 --> 00:07:59,087 Yes, really. 103 00:07:59,217 --> 00:08:00,305 Are you gonna give me shit today, too? 104 00:08:00,436 --> 00:08:01,829 Come on. 105 00:08:01,959 --> 00:08:03,308 -I love you. -I love you. 106 00:08:07,748 --> 00:08:08,836 Have fun. 107 00:08:08,966 --> 00:08:10,490 [school din] 108 00:08:19,977 --> 00:08:22,502 [kids' voices echoing] 109 00:08:24,155 --> 00:08:25,679 I remember being her age. 110 00:08:28,682 --> 00:08:29,770 That's when I learned how to lie. 111 00:08:31,423 --> 00:08:33,164 I used to tell teachers I was sick. 112 00:08:33,687 --> 00:08:34,818 That's why I was missing school. 113 00:08:37,038 --> 00:08:38,779 When I did go, I tried to blend in. 114 00:08:39,606 --> 00:08:41,477 I brushed my hair, 115 00:08:41,608 --> 00:08:42,739 cleaned my nails... 116 00:08:44,132 --> 00:08:46,830 but inside I felt ants crawling up my skin. 117 00:08:48,876 --> 00:08:51,139 I just wanted to grow up, so everything would be better. 118 00:08:51,269 --> 00:08:52,401 Give me a chance. 119 00:08:54,708 --> 00:08:55,839 I can do the work. 120 00:08:57,667 --> 00:08:58,799 I can! 121 00:08:59,277 --> 00:09:00,757 [man] I'm sure you can. 122 00:09:01,453 --> 00:09:04,152 [Chama] Come on, quiz me. I know this shit. 123 00:09:04,282 --> 00:09:05,545 When I was younger I used to watch 124 00:09:05,675 --> 00:09:07,155 my abuelo tear cars apart. 125 00:09:07,721 --> 00:09:09,244 He taught me literally everything. 126 00:09:09,984 --> 00:09:12,421 I got an '85 Buick LeSabre I rebuilt. 127 00:09:13,204 --> 00:09:14,597 Runs perfectly... 128 00:09:15,250 --> 00:09:16,599 if it had a fuel pump. 129 00:09:17,252 --> 00:09:18,949 But I can't get a new fuel pump 130 00:09:19,080 --> 00:09:20,560 if I don't got a job and if I don't got a job... 131 00:09:21,952 --> 00:09:23,345 Look. 132 00:09:24,520 --> 00:09:26,043 I'm just trying to get back on my feet, okay? 133 00:09:31,527 --> 00:09:32,528 I have a daughter. 134 00:09:36,314 --> 00:09:38,665 Look, the economy's kicking my ass. 135 00:09:38,795 --> 00:09:40,231 I'm just not hiring right now. 136 00:09:40,318 --> 00:09:43,452 [melancholy music playing] 137 00:09:54,202 --> 00:09:56,900 [bus humming] 138 00:10:13,177 --> 00:10:15,310 [rock music playing] 139 00:10:19,227 --> 00:10:20,576 [dog barks] 140 00:10:23,057 --> 00:10:25,668 [cicadas buzzing] 141 00:10:25,799 --> 00:10:27,757 [muffled rock music playing] 142 00:10:58,832 --> 00:10:59,963 [door creaks] 143 00:11:03,358 --> 00:11:06,013 [music gets louder] 144 00:11:11,975 --> 00:11:14,804 [indistinct singing] 145 00:11:31,125 --> 00:11:33,518 Abueloused to say that if you find a black feather... 146 00:11:37,044 --> 00:11:38,132 it's a warning. 147 00:11:38,610 --> 00:11:41,178 [rock music intensifies] 148 00:12:01,895 --> 00:12:03,244 [lighter clicks] 149 00:12:03,374 --> 00:12:06,900 [muffled talking] 150 00:12:23,090 --> 00:12:26,267 [lips smacking] 151 00:12:26,397 --> 00:12:29,226 [melancholy piano music playing] 152 00:13:29,330 --> 00:13:34,291 ♪ 153 00:14:07,977 --> 00:14:11,154 [soft vocalization] 154 00:14:41,184 --> 00:14:44,361 [rhythmic beeping] 155 00:14:58,332 --> 00:15:00,987 [crickets chirping] 156 00:15:19,005 --> 00:15:21,224 [vehicle humming] 157 00:15:26,795 --> 00:15:31,931 ♪ 158 00:15:35,195 --> 00:15:37,893 [siren wailing in the distance] 159 00:15:57,304 --> 00:15:58,740 We made dinner. 160 00:15:58,870 --> 00:15:59,784 There's some left in the fridge. 161 00:16:01,134 --> 00:16:02,439 She's sleeping, Elena. 162 00:16:02,570 --> 00:16:03,963 She's my daughter. 163 00:16:04,615 --> 00:16:05,921 I know she's sleeping, okay? 164 00:16:07,096 --> 00:16:08,619 Don't look at me like that. 165 00:16:09,403 --> 00:16:11,753 -You're in my home. -That the state pays for. 166 00:16:16,976 --> 00:16:18,412 I was robbed, okay? 167 00:16:19,065 --> 00:16:20,109 Don't pretend like you care. 168 00:16:21,545 --> 00:16:23,243 Because if you gave two shits, 169 00:16:23,373 --> 00:16:25,027 you'd drive around and look for them. 170 00:16:25,158 --> 00:16:27,421 Oh, I would drive around and look for your shoes? 171 00:16:27,508 --> 00:16:29,249 Why would you ever want to look for the imaginary person 172 00:16:29,379 --> 00:16:30,598 who stole your shoes, Elena? 173 00:16:30,728 --> 00:16:32,208 [Chama] That's not my name. 174 00:16:32,339 --> 00:16:33,296 Stop talking to me like a child. 175 00:16:34,210 --> 00:16:35,472 [Mari] You know, Friday's her birthday. 176 00:16:35,603 --> 00:16:37,083 I fucking know Friday's her birthday. 177 00:16:37,213 --> 00:16:38,606 [Mari] If you weren't my sister-- 178 00:16:38,693 --> 00:16:41,174 [Chama] So, what? You'd go? So fucking go! 179 00:16:41,304 --> 00:16:42,871 You are just like Mom. 180 00:16:44,394 --> 00:16:45,656 One of these times... 181 00:16:46,179 --> 00:16:47,267 they're gonna take her away. 182 00:16:51,227 --> 00:16:52,707 Get the fuck out of my house. 183 00:16:53,621 --> 00:16:54,839 Get the fuck out! 184 00:16:58,539 --> 00:17:00,497 [objects clattering] 185 00:17:17,775 --> 00:17:18,994 [annoyed sigh] 186 00:17:34,227 --> 00:17:35,837 [plastic wrapper crinkling] 187 00:17:45,977 --> 00:17:50,069 [Brahms' Lullaby playing] 188 00:18:07,260 --> 00:18:09,044 [lullaby stops] 189 00:18:10,437 --> 00:18:12,961 [peaceful music playing] 190 00:18:36,158 --> 00:18:37,942 [coins rattling] 191 00:19:01,792 --> 00:19:04,143 [nature din] 192 00:19:07,668 --> 00:19:08,973 [Toaster] You know, I used to have this dream... 193 00:19:10,192 --> 00:19:11,411 that I got, like, no face... 194 00:19:12,455 --> 00:19:14,805 and I'm just a shadow, 195 00:19:14,936 --> 00:19:16,155 floating over the desert. 196 00:19:18,548 --> 00:19:21,290 And I got, like, this bag of hammers 197 00:19:21,421 --> 00:19:23,510 and I'm just, like, chucking them at cows. 198 00:19:24,206 --> 00:19:25,686 What do you think that means? 199 00:19:26,295 --> 00:19:27,862 [Chama] That you need serious help. 200 00:19:27,992 --> 00:19:30,038 Toaster always showed up when I needed her. 201 00:19:30,473 --> 00:19:32,606 [upbeat music playing] 202 00:19:37,959 --> 00:19:39,787 You can't just, like, open it. 203 00:19:39,917 --> 00:19:42,355 -Why not? -You broke it. 204 00:19:42,920 --> 00:19:44,400 Last year, Nevaeh loved red. 205 00:19:45,401 --> 00:19:48,361 I think this year, she likes the color purple. 206 00:19:49,927 --> 00:19:52,191 Like that Oprah movie about racism? 207 00:19:54,628 --> 00:19:56,456 Balloons. 208 00:19:56,586 --> 00:19:59,372 [plastic wrappers crinkling] 209 00:20:06,944 --> 00:20:08,468 You never, like, look up your dreams 210 00:20:08,598 --> 00:20:09,643 and find out what they mean? 211 00:20:11,471 --> 00:20:12,385 I don't dream. 212 00:20:13,647 --> 00:20:15,562 Every bitch dreams. 213 00:20:15,692 --> 00:20:17,520 Come on, you probably just don't remember it. 214 00:20:17,651 --> 00:20:18,782 [Chama] Mm-mm. 215 00:20:19,566 --> 00:20:21,045 -[lighter clicking] -[Toaster gasps] 216 00:20:21,916 --> 00:20:23,700 Maybe that's what I'll study when I go back to school. 217 00:20:26,399 --> 00:20:27,530 Why Chama don't dream? 218 00:20:30,794 --> 00:20:32,622 -Stupid. Siempre. -[Chama laughs] 219 00:20:32,753 --> 00:20:35,103 -No. -[both laugh] 220 00:20:35,930 --> 00:20:37,584 No, for serious. 221 00:20:39,412 --> 00:20:41,762 I'm going back. 222 00:20:41,892 --> 00:20:44,286 [Chama] Toaster is one of those bitches from the Heights. 223 00:20:44,417 --> 00:20:46,332 She actually knew her father. 224 00:20:46,419 --> 00:20:48,377 He'd buy her things. 225 00:20:48,508 --> 00:20:50,771 She never worried about nothing. 226 00:20:50,901 --> 00:20:53,252 Toaster was all cool. 227 00:20:53,382 --> 00:20:54,731 And I wanted to be her. 228 00:20:56,603 --> 00:20:57,604 She was a dreamer. 229 00:20:58,431 --> 00:20:59,388 I'm going back. 230 00:21:01,738 --> 00:21:02,957 My dad's gonna pay. 231 00:21:04,915 --> 00:21:06,700 It's gonna be like it used to be, you know? 232 00:21:08,005 --> 00:21:09,268 He's gonna be proud of me. 233 00:21:12,009 --> 00:21:13,402 I don't know, maybe I'll be just, like... 234 00:21:14,708 --> 00:21:16,405 some counselor, you know? 235 00:21:18,581 --> 00:21:20,757 Like, help all these bitches out. 236 00:21:23,804 --> 00:21:25,066 I could tell 'em what's up. 237 00:21:28,504 --> 00:21:30,680 [Chama] Toaster always showed up when I needed her. 238 00:21:30,811 --> 00:21:33,292 She'd help me fix everything. 239 00:21:33,422 --> 00:21:35,424 [pensive music playing] 240 00:21:38,514 --> 00:21:40,081 [Chama] I can make my daughter happy. 241 00:21:44,999 --> 00:21:46,783 I can keep my shit together. 242 00:21:54,704 --> 00:21:56,445 I can make my daughter happy. 243 00:21:56,576 --> 00:21:58,317 I can make my daughter happy. 244 00:22:07,064 --> 00:22:10,677 I can make my daughter happy. 245 00:22:10,807 --> 00:22:13,593 I can make my daughter happy. I can make my daughter happy. 246 00:22:13,723 --> 00:22:15,943 I can make my daughter happy. 247 00:22:16,073 --> 00:22:17,945 I can keep my shit together. I can make my daughter happy. 248 00:22:18,032 --> 00:22:19,338 I can make my daughter happy. 249 00:22:21,078 --> 00:22:22,645 I can keep my shit together. 250 00:22:24,081 --> 00:22:25,779 I can make my daughter happy. 251 00:22:28,912 --> 00:22:30,653 I can keep my shit together. 252 00:22:35,179 --> 00:22:36,920 [upbeat mariachi music playing] 253 00:22:37,051 --> 00:22:38,792 [indistinct chattering] 254 00:22:57,027 --> 00:22:58,725 [playful screaming] 255 00:23:09,388 --> 00:23:11,390 [kids chattering] 256 00:23:15,219 --> 00:23:17,570 [music continues in background] 257 00:23:30,931 --> 00:23:33,412 [muffled chattering] 258 00:23:49,515 --> 00:23:50,690 Hey, baby girl, what's wrong? 259 00:23:51,778 --> 00:23:52,779 I don't know. 260 00:23:53,823 --> 00:23:55,042 Hey. 261 00:23:55,172 --> 00:23:56,565 Don't let bullshit push you. 262 00:24:04,704 --> 00:24:06,314 Sometimes I just want to hide, too. 263 00:24:08,751 --> 00:24:09,796 Just, like, run away. 264 00:24:13,582 --> 00:24:15,279 But everybody's already here, 265 00:24:15,410 --> 00:24:17,456 so you might as well just take all their presents. 266 00:24:27,988 --> 00:24:29,816 You were born two months early, you know why? 267 00:24:30,904 --> 00:24:32,209 [Nevaeh] Hmm? 268 00:24:33,297 --> 00:24:35,299 Because you were so excited to meet your mama. 269 00:24:36,953 --> 00:24:38,477 And I was to meet you. 270 00:24:41,001 --> 00:24:42,350 There she is. 271 00:24:47,181 --> 00:24:48,835 You're my baby girl, you're all I got. 272 00:24:50,967 --> 00:24:51,968 [Nevaeh] You're all I got. 273 00:24:56,625 --> 00:24:57,931 I hope that's not true. 274 00:25:00,890 --> 00:25:02,849 Go on. Have fun, it's your birthday. 275 00:25:07,506 --> 00:25:10,726 [music getting louder] 276 00:25:10,857 --> 00:25:12,728 [people chattering] 277 00:25:12,902 --> 00:25:17,820 ♪ 278 00:25:41,191 --> 00:25:43,716 [children screaming] 279 00:25:43,846 --> 00:25:46,066 [sounds distort and echo] 280 00:25:46,196 --> 00:25:48,416 [indistinct whispering] 281 00:25:51,811 --> 00:25:53,029 [Chama] I can keep my shit. 282 00:25:53,160 --> 00:25:55,118 [Chama gasping] 283 00:25:55,205 --> 00:25:56,685 [child crying] 284 00:25:56,816 --> 00:25:58,034 [Mari] Elena? 285 00:25:58,165 --> 00:26:01,342 [Chama panting] 286 00:26:06,608 --> 00:26:07,696 [girl screaming] 287 00:26:07,827 --> 00:26:10,438 [mariachi music resumes] 288 00:26:27,586 --> 00:26:28,848 [knocking on door] 289 00:26:28,978 --> 00:26:29,675 [Mari] Elena, are you in there? 290 00:26:38,945 --> 00:26:40,903 [phone ringing] 291 00:26:43,819 --> 00:26:45,691 [Mari] Come on. Open up. 292 00:26:45,778 --> 00:26:47,170 -[knocking on door] -[Mari] Elena. 293 00:26:47,867 --> 00:26:48,911 I've been looking for you everywhere. 294 00:26:50,783 --> 00:26:52,872 You did all right-- good, okay? 295 00:26:54,177 --> 00:26:55,614 Not out here to talk shit. 296 00:26:59,226 --> 00:27:00,619 Hey. 297 00:27:00,749 --> 00:27:01,620 [knocking on door] 298 00:27:03,099 --> 00:27:04,448 Let's just go out and sing. 299 00:27:19,072 --> 00:27:20,073 Look, you know what? 300 00:27:22,205 --> 00:27:23,511 You don't get to do this. 301 00:27:25,078 --> 00:27:26,645 Not today, this isn't about you. 302 00:27:31,475 --> 00:27:34,130 You think you're so special 303 00:27:34,261 --> 00:27:35,784 and that nobody else matters, but guess what? 304 00:27:37,786 --> 00:27:38,961 They do. 305 00:27:39,092 --> 00:27:39,962 [keys jangling] 306 00:27:43,096 --> 00:27:45,751 [tense music playing] 307 00:28:03,725 --> 00:28:04,857 [Mari] Somebody help me! 308 00:28:06,946 --> 00:28:08,556 Somebody help! 309 00:28:11,733 --> 00:28:12,778 Now! 310 00:28:24,311 --> 00:28:27,009 [music fades] 311 00:28:27,140 --> 00:28:28,010 [Shorty] I know what you all are thinking. 312 00:28:29,185 --> 00:28:30,752 Shit gets all fucked. 313 00:28:31,274 --> 00:28:32,667 But that's just the way it goes. 314 00:28:34,060 --> 00:28:36,584 I had this one bitch try to tell me, 315 00:28:36,715 --> 00:28:39,674 "If you just got a real job, everything would be all right." 316 00:28:40,370 --> 00:28:42,764 Bitch! I have a felony. 317 00:28:42,895 --> 00:28:44,853 Who's gonna hire me? Who's gonna teach me? 318 00:28:45,811 --> 00:28:47,769 All I know is selling dope, hustling. 319 00:28:48,378 --> 00:28:50,250 That's all anyone was willing to show me. 320 00:28:51,338 --> 00:28:54,950 So, with four little brothers at home, yeah, 321 00:28:55,081 --> 00:28:58,084 I was gonna hustle to buy them food and, yeah, 322 00:28:58,214 --> 00:29:00,086 I was gonna smoke to forget everything I had done. 323 00:29:01,174 --> 00:29:02,088 And yeah. 324 00:29:03,219 --> 00:29:04,917 Shit's gonna get fucked. 325 00:29:11,793 --> 00:29:14,840 [hospital gurney rattling] 326 00:29:23,196 --> 00:29:25,894 [somber music playing] 327 00:29:28,114 --> 00:29:29,550 [Chama] I was once a little girl. 328 00:29:31,770 --> 00:29:33,772 Trying to keep my sister safe. 329 00:29:37,427 --> 00:29:38,994 I thought it would all work out. 330 00:29:39,734 --> 00:29:42,389 -[gasping] -[Beatriz speaks indistinctly] 331 00:29:42,519 --> 00:29:43,912 [Chama] I used to run toAbuelo's. 332 00:29:46,567 --> 00:29:47,960 He showed me how to fix things. 333 00:29:52,442 --> 00:29:53,748 You showed me how to break them. 334 00:29:53,879 --> 00:29:55,489 [gravel crackling] 335 00:29:59,362 --> 00:30:00,799 [Beatriz] You fucking took them, huh? 336 00:30:00,886 --> 00:30:01,930 Let's go. 337 00:30:11,200 --> 00:30:14,334 [Chama] You drove around with bottles on the floor. 338 00:30:14,464 --> 00:30:16,205 Your music turned up. 339 00:30:16,336 --> 00:30:18,033 You'd smoke a full pack, 340 00:30:18,164 --> 00:30:20,514 but you still smelled like roses. 341 00:30:21,994 --> 00:30:24,561 -[car honking] -[girl screaming] 342 00:30:24,692 --> 00:30:26,825 [Chama] We cried as you pulled the glass out of our skin. 343 00:30:28,827 --> 00:30:30,829 [Beatriz panting] 344 00:30:31,873 --> 00:30:33,309 [young Mari crying] 345 00:30:33,440 --> 00:30:34,310 [Chama] I am my mother's daughter. 346 00:30:34,441 --> 00:30:35,790 [man] Elena. 347 00:30:45,104 --> 00:30:46,670 [doctor] Can you tell me what you were doing? 348 00:30:50,239 --> 00:30:51,675 You're lucky to be alive. 349 00:30:54,374 --> 00:30:56,158 If it hadn't been for the Narcan you'd be dead... 350 00:30:58,204 --> 00:31:00,032 you probably wouldn't be here right now. 351 00:31:04,558 --> 00:31:05,951 How much do you normally use? 352 00:31:09,693 --> 00:31:11,739 Was it an accident or was it intentional? 353 00:31:15,221 --> 00:31:17,310 [Chama groaning softly] 354 00:31:31,237 --> 00:31:32,978 It's a selfish act, 355 00:31:33,108 --> 00:31:33,979 especially when you're pregnant. 356 00:31:35,110 --> 00:31:37,896 [tense music playing] 357 00:31:52,127 --> 00:31:53,041 You didn't know? 358 00:31:53,215 --> 00:31:58,090 ♪ 359 00:32:10,145 --> 00:32:12,234 [siren wailing in distance] 360 00:32:15,629 --> 00:32:17,936 [upbeat Spanish song on radio] 361 00:32:26,292 --> 00:32:28,424 [cicadas buzzing] 362 00:32:30,949 --> 00:32:32,428 [Chama] I was 21. 363 00:32:34,082 --> 00:32:35,779 I'd work on cars, because... 364 00:32:36,998 --> 00:32:38,043 what else am I gonna do? 365 00:32:38,130 --> 00:32:40,959 [music continues] 366 00:32:51,317 --> 00:32:53,145 [Chama] It was also the last time I used a needle. 367 00:32:54,755 --> 00:32:55,930 Nobody knew. 368 00:32:57,062 --> 00:32:57,976 I was quiet. 369 00:32:59,760 --> 00:33:01,414 But I always seemed in control. 370 00:33:03,807 --> 00:33:04,852 [Santi] You're doing it all wrong. 371 00:33:06,723 --> 00:33:07,986 You should be cranking it the other way, you know? 372 00:33:10,336 --> 00:33:12,033 I'm tightening the tensioner. 373 00:33:12,599 --> 00:33:14,949 Going clockwise, so the nut can do its job. 374 00:33:17,996 --> 00:33:18,953 That's what's up. 375 00:33:22,478 --> 00:33:23,349 You know, I see you. 376 00:33:26,439 --> 00:33:28,006 You was down at Chopay's the other day. 377 00:33:28,963 --> 00:33:30,312 Looking all cool and shit. 378 00:33:33,794 --> 00:33:36,884 I see you and I want to holler at you, mija. 379 00:33:39,147 --> 00:33:40,018 Why? 380 00:33:42,411 --> 00:33:43,369 Because you look like you need someone to. 381 00:33:49,201 --> 00:33:50,202 So what it is? 382 00:33:51,725 --> 00:33:53,031 Can I help you start it or what? 383 00:33:57,731 --> 00:33:59,515 [romantic guitar music playing] 384 00:33:59,646 --> 00:34:01,387 [both breathing heavily] 385 00:34:08,785 --> 00:34:11,223 [Chama] Santi was all bad. 386 00:34:11,353 --> 00:34:12,876 Smelled like hairspray and sweat. 387 00:34:15,749 --> 00:34:17,142 Reminded me ofAbuelo. 388 00:34:19,361 --> 00:34:20,232 Know how many times he lost? 389 00:34:22,495 --> 00:34:23,800 Five. 390 00:34:23,931 --> 00:34:25,541 [Chama] He worshiped boxing 391 00:34:25,628 --> 00:34:27,413 and the boxers who wouldn't quit. 392 00:34:27,500 --> 00:34:28,414 Know how many times he's got back up and won? 393 00:34:29,328 --> 00:34:30,720 59, baby! 394 00:34:31,808 --> 00:34:33,680 He just sticks out his tongue and he knows no matter 395 00:34:33,810 --> 00:34:35,551 where he grow up, no matter how he grow up, 396 00:34:35,638 --> 00:34:36,770 what he could do, you know what I mean? 397 00:34:38,598 --> 00:34:40,469 He says, 398 00:34:40,600 --> 00:34:42,471 "Hey, pass me the ball, pass me the bills. 399 00:34:42,602 --> 00:34:43,516 [speaking indistinctly] 400 00:34:43,646 --> 00:34:45,518 Albuquerque. 401 00:34:45,605 --> 00:34:48,216 Up to you, champ. Albuquerque. 402 00:34:48,347 --> 00:34:50,262 I'm still the champ. 403 00:34:50,392 --> 00:34:52,264 Hey, Grandma, Grandpa, I'm still your champ!" 404 00:34:54,396 --> 00:34:55,789 [Chama] I'd tattoo him on my body. 405 00:34:57,747 --> 00:34:59,227 And he promised to never let me get sick. 406 00:35:01,447 --> 00:35:04,276 We'd get a house together. 407 00:35:04,406 --> 00:35:08,193 I'd get pregnant. Stop using. 408 00:35:08,323 --> 00:35:11,544 I'd worship him, because he gave me Nevaeh. 409 00:35:11,674 --> 00:35:15,330 She'd be born at home, just like I was. 410 00:35:15,461 --> 00:35:17,811 He'd play the guitar for our daughter. 411 00:35:17,941 --> 00:35:19,465 He wasn't very good, but I didn't know any better. 412 00:35:21,902 --> 00:35:23,077 Then he was gone. 413 00:35:24,426 --> 00:35:25,427 I was alone. 414 00:35:26,776 --> 00:35:28,082 And seven years later... 415 00:35:28,430 --> 00:35:30,389 [music playing on radio] 416 00:35:30,519 --> 00:35:31,912 [radio crashing] 417 00:35:33,740 --> 00:35:36,482 [crickets chirping] 418 00:35:47,623 --> 00:35:48,929 [man] I need you to nod your head 419 00:35:49,016 --> 00:35:50,322 that you understand what's going on. 420 00:35:52,454 --> 00:35:53,499 It's in your best interest. 421 00:35:58,504 --> 00:36:00,767 An investigator from CPS is gonna sit down 422 00:36:00,897 --> 00:36:01,942 -with your daughter. -[Chama] No. 423 00:36:03,378 --> 00:36:04,553 You're going to scare her. 424 00:36:05,119 --> 00:36:06,512 [man] She's already scared. 425 00:36:13,562 --> 00:36:14,737 We've got a house full of love, 426 00:36:14,868 --> 00:36:16,739 you don't even know. 427 00:36:16,870 --> 00:36:18,219 [man] Do you have a contact number for her father? 428 00:36:18,350 --> 00:36:19,307 What do you think he's gonna do? 429 00:36:20,178 --> 00:36:22,005 You just want to take away my baby. 430 00:36:22,136 --> 00:36:24,182 [man] Our intention is never to remove a child 431 00:36:24,312 --> 00:36:25,487 from their home. 432 00:36:26,314 --> 00:36:28,142 Unless we feel the child is in danger. 433 00:36:29,448 --> 00:36:30,797 Do I look dangerous? 434 00:36:30,927 --> 00:36:32,494 [indistinct chatter] 435 00:36:32,581 --> 00:36:34,322 [man] The situation at the party-- 436 00:36:34,453 --> 00:36:35,323 -Was an accident! -[bangs hand on table] 437 00:36:39,806 --> 00:36:42,374 It was-- it was-- 438 00:36:44,332 --> 00:36:46,508 [muffled crying] 439 00:36:47,988 --> 00:36:49,337 It was an accident. 440 00:36:50,773 --> 00:36:52,340 It's never gonna happen again. 441 00:36:56,779 --> 00:36:57,867 [man] Do you understand why we're here? 442 00:36:57,998 --> 00:36:59,391 [Chama stomping on floor] 443 00:37:08,965 --> 00:37:11,098 [Chama] Hey, baby girl. Hey. 444 00:37:13,492 --> 00:37:15,929 [Chama sniffling] 445 00:37:24,807 --> 00:37:26,026 It's okay. 446 00:37:26,722 --> 00:37:27,680 Here. 447 00:37:29,856 --> 00:37:31,118 Hey, Bearbear. 448 00:37:36,950 --> 00:37:39,605 I'm sorry. I messed up. 449 00:37:40,519 --> 00:37:42,390 Everything's gonna go back to normal. 450 00:37:42,521 --> 00:37:44,392 [pen scratching on paper] 451 00:37:44,523 --> 00:37:46,264 Will you stop writing down everything I say? 452 00:37:50,311 --> 00:37:53,096 [pen scratching continues] 453 00:37:59,842 --> 00:38:01,104 Come here. 454 00:38:16,468 --> 00:38:18,426 -I love you. -I love you. 455 00:38:23,431 --> 00:38:26,173 [droning music playing] 456 00:38:34,399 --> 00:38:37,358 [Chama screaming] 457 00:38:37,837 --> 00:38:39,447 [church bell ringing] 458 00:38:43,625 --> 00:38:44,626 Fuck them, no? 459 00:38:49,457 --> 00:38:51,329 Fuck them for judging us. 460 00:38:53,331 --> 00:38:54,332 You're a good mother. 461 00:38:55,071 --> 00:38:56,203 I just wanna cry. 462 00:38:57,770 --> 00:38:59,424 But nothing's coming out. 463 00:39:00,250 --> 00:39:01,339 [Toaster] They don't know shit. 464 00:39:05,386 --> 00:39:06,605 What's wrong with me, Toaster? 465 00:39:10,739 --> 00:39:12,524 [chuckling] 466 00:39:12,654 --> 00:39:14,134 What are you doing, Chama? 467 00:39:15,048 --> 00:39:17,224 You think you got, like, a choice, really? 468 00:39:18,921 --> 00:39:21,533 A la maquina,dummy. Not even. 469 00:39:23,535 --> 00:39:24,623 Okay, when we was, like, born... 470 00:39:25,885 --> 00:39:28,888 let's say God, yeah, God. 471 00:39:29,323 --> 00:39:30,629 You know, God was like... 472 00:39:33,545 --> 00:39:36,199 "I'm gonna make this child super smart. 473 00:39:36,330 --> 00:39:37,897 And then this one? 474 00:39:37,984 --> 00:39:39,638 This one is gonna be dumb as crackers. 475 00:39:39,768 --> 00:39:41,857 And then this one? Oh, you know what? 476 00:39:41,988 --> 00:39:44,599 That one is gonna get a fucking mental illness, 477 00:39:44,686 --> 00:39:47,341 hell yeah, because that'll be fucking fun, no? 478 00:39:47,472 --> 00:39:48,995 And this one. 479 00:39:49,125 --> 00:39:52,999 This one's gonna have ADHD, hell yeah! 480 00:39:53,129 --> 00:39:54,827 And this one, just for shits and giggles, 481 00:39:54,914 --> 00:39:57,046 let's give it leukemia, right? 482 00:39:57,177 --> 00:39:59,832 Because, you know, life needs more hurdles. 483 00:40:00,528 --> 00:40:02,835 And this one? Yeah, this one. 484 00:40:02,965 --> 00:40:05,098 This one gets an addictive personality. 485 00:40:06,404 --> 00:40:07,274 And that one doesn't." 486 00:40:10,973 --> 00:40:12,235 This is us. 487 00:40:15,717 --> 00:40:18,503 We gotta fucking fight until we win. 488 00:40:20,679 --> 00:40:22,289 We're fucking rebels, no? 489 00:40:24,596 --> 00:40:26,206 And we're gonna take care of all of it. 490 00:40:29,165 --> 00:40:30,297 Just not today. 491 00:40:33,866 --> 00:40:35,520 [door creaking] 492 00:40:35,650 --> 00:40:37,435 [distorted rock music playing] 493 00:40:40,089 --> 00:40:42,440 [pensive music playing] 494 00:41:13,166 --> 00:41:14,950 I want my baby. 495 00:41:15,081 --> 00:41:16,822 [bus humming] 496 00:41:20,869 --> 00:41:23,002 -I want my baby. -[Toaster] It's okay. 497 00:41:23,611 --> 00:41:26,092 -Shh. -I want my baby. 498 00:41:26,222 --> 00:41:29,095 Shh, can you just, like, think it 499 00:41:29,225 --> 00:41:30,879 instead of saying it out loud? 500 00:41:31,010 --> 00:41:32,751 I want my baby! 501 00:41:32,881 --> 00:41:34,840 And I would like her to shut the fuck up! 502 00:41:36,537 --> 00:41:37,495 What the fuck you say? 503 00:41:41,150 --> 00:41:42,674 No, it's okay. 504 00:41:43,457 --> 00:41:44,676 You can, like, say that one more time. 505 00:41:45,590 --> 00:41:46,852 Just shut her up. 506 00:41:56,818 --> 00:41:58,516 Do you know what the fuck my friend has been through? 507 00:42:00,213 --> 00:42:01,823 You want her to shut the fuck up? 508 00:42:03,172 --> 00:42:04,522 Just go back to your seat. 509 00:42:06,132 --> 00:42:07,525 Go back to my seat? 510 00:42:09,091 --> 00:42:10,789 I'll stand here if I want to. 511 00:42:16,621 --> 00:42:17,622 You're drunk. 512 00:42:20,015 --> 00:42:21,190 What'd you say? 513 00:42:21,756 --> 00:42:23,541 You fucking stink, you're drunk. 514 00:42:26,195 --> 00:42:27,980 -[man groans] -[punches landing] 515 00:42:28,110 --> 00:42:30,591 [man] Fuck! Get this crazy bitch off me! 516 00:42:30,722 --> 00:42:31,897 [Toaster screaming] Fuck you! 517 00:42:33,463 --> 00:42:34,552 [man] Fuck! 518 00:42:37,032 --> 00:42:38,817 -[man] Fuck! -[Toaster screaming] Fuck you! 519 00:42:38,947 --> 00:42:40,166 [Santi] Look at this place, mija. 520 00:42:40,296 --> 00:42:41,689 That's what you dreamed of. 521 00:42:43,865 --> 00:42:45,737 We can put my mother's papal cross right here. 522 00:42:45,867 --> 00:42:47,129 -[Santi] Mm-hmm. -Yeah? 523 00:42:47,260 --> 00:42:48,391 [Santi] Mm-hmm. 524 00:42:52,134 --> 00:42:54,920 Maybe, like, a painting right there? 525 00:42:55,007 --> 00:42:56,182 [Santi] You could put up two. 526 00:42:56,312 --> 00:42:57,749 [Chama] What do you think? 527 00:42:58,314 --> 00:42:59,446 What do you think? 528 00:43:04,756 --> 00:43:08,934 Oh, and-- oh, I have this doll collection 529 00:43:09,064 --> 00:43:10,892 that my mother found outside a dumpster in the mall. 530 00:43:11,023 --> 00:43:13,460 -[Santi] Really? -It's in perfect condition. 531 00:43:13,591 --> 00:43:15,070 Well, like, perfect condition for, like, the dumpster, 532 00:43:15,201 --> 00:43:16,594 but I've always wanted to display it. 533 00:43:17,943 --> 00:43:18,857 Where you gonna put it up? 534 00:43:20,728 --> 00:43:22,034 -What do you think? -[Santi chuckles] 535 00:43:24,166 --> 00:43:25,167 [Santi] Are you happy or what? 536 00:43:25,254 --> 00:43:28,083 [ambient music playing] 537 00:43:45,013 --> 00:43:46,101 [Chama] I wanted a miracle. 538 00:43:47,712 --> 00:43:48,626 And I got one. 539 00:43:51,106 --> 00:43:52,499 I didn't need anything else. 540 00:43:55,023 --> 00:43:59,985 ♪ 541 00:44:03,336 --> 00:44:05,773 [birds chirping] 542 00:44:22,268 --> 00:44:23,922 [Gata] My husband was at home with my daughter. 543 00:44:25,924 --> 00:44:27,795 I was at the long bar with my friends. 544 00:44:30,798 --> 00:44:31,756 Boyfriend. 545 00:44:33,671 --> 00:44:34,976 We were all fucked up. 546 00:44:36,891 --> 00:44:37,979 Breaking vows... 547 00:44:39,807 --> 00:44:40,982 and I fell. 548 00:44:41,679 --> 00:44:43,115 Cracked my fucking tailbone. 549 00:44:45,247 --> 00:44:47,162 I put one of those blue ice packs on it. 550 00:44:47,946 --> 00:44:48,947 It broke. 551 00:44:50,775 --> 00:44:52,037 Dyed my ass blue. 552 00:44:55,954 --> 00:44:57,999 So, I go home smelling like turpentine... 553 00:44:59,218 --> 00:45:01,220 with a serious fucking injury, 554 00:45:01,350 --> 00:45:02,569 a blue ass... 555 00:45:03,788 --> 00:45:05,267 all the while, 556 00:45:05,354 --> 00:45:06,399 I was just supposed to be picking up dinner. 557 00:45:09,315 --> 00:45:13,580 ♪ Lord take me home, take me home ♪ 558 00:45:15,974 --> 00:45:22,067 ♪ 'Cause I need somewhere to go ♪ 559 00:45:22,241 --> 00:45:25,374 ♪ My pockets are empty ♪ 560 00:45:25,548 --> 00:45:28,943 ♪ And so is my soul ♪ 561 00:45:29,030 --> 00:45:33,992 ♪ Oh, Lord, take me home, take me home ♪ 562 00:45:36,081 --> 00:45:38,039 ["Broke" by Feedback Revival playing] 563 00:45:53,054 --> 00:45:56,666 ♪ Well I got soul coming out my ears ♪ 564 00:45:56,754 --> 00:46:00,627 ♪ But I ain't got cash to put gas in my pick up ♪ 565 00:46:00,801 --> 00:46:05,371 ♪ Pick up, well I got dreams but I also got fears ♪ 566 00:46:05,458 --> 00:46:07,895 ♪ Which one will win I cannot tell ♪ 567 00:46:08,069 --> 00:46:10,071 ♪ The good King Jesus or the hounds of hell ♪ 568 00:46:10,245 --> 00:46:12,465 ♪ I said I ain't got no money... ♪ 569 00:46:12,552 --> 00:46:15,424 [faint music playing] 570 00:46:15,555 --> 00:46:17,775 [door creaks and buzzes] 571 00:46:22,562 --> 00:46:24,825 [Mrs. Dyer] Look who finally decided to show up. 572 00:46:25,434 --> 00:46:27,697 I was out looking for a present for my dad. 573 00:46:27,828 --> 00:46:29,134 I don't know what to get him. 574 00:46:29,264 --> 00:46:31,049 Maybe another World War Two book 575 00:46:31,136 --> 00:46:33,007 with the card inside that says, "Happy birthday. 576 00:46:33,138 --> 00:46:34,530 We got nothing in common." 577 00:46:34,661 --> 00:46:36,794 -[Mrs. Dyer sniffs] -[Nick] What? 578 00:46:38,186 --> 00:46:39,927 You know your jacket smells? 579 00:46:40,058 --> 00:46:41,189 You ever wash it? 580 00:46:42,103 --> 00:46:43,583 It's not like it touches my ass, 581 00:46:43,670 --> 00:46:45,150 I'm not, like, farting in it... 582 00:46:46,412 --> 00:46:47,500 all the time. 583 00:46:49,154 --> 00:46:50,372 Oh, come on, that was funny. 584 00:46:51,286 --> 00:46:52,722 You know, you really should laugh more. 585 00:46:52,853 --> 00:46:53,767 Especially here. 586 00:46:54,768 --> 00:46:56,117 [door creaks and buzzes] 587 00:47:07,389 --> 00:47:09,217 Not sure if I'm supposed to be here. 588 00:47:10,479 --> 00:47:12,264 [Mrs. Dyer] If you're standing there, you probably are. 589 00:47:12,394 --> 00:47:13,700 But we don't detox. 590 00:47:15,049 --> 00:47:16,224 I'm clean. 591 00:47:16,703 --> 00:47:17,704 [Mrs. Dyer] We're full up. 592 00:47:19,271 --> 00:47:20,794 Plus, it's 3:00 PM. 593 00:47:20,925 --> 00:47:22,317 We don't take anyone past noon. 594 00:47:28,323 --> 00:47:29,934 [Chama] This is the third place I've tried today. 595 00:47:32,327 --> 00:47:33,851 What's worse than being invisible? 596 00:47:35,330 --> 00:47:36,897 Being seen as disposable. 597 00:47:36,984 --> 00:47:38,856 [electric buzzing] 598 00:47:45,079 --> 00:47:47,342 [melancholy music playing] 599 00:47:51,129 --> 00:47:52,608 [Chama] I go to the hospital. 600 00:47:52,739 --> 00:47:55,046 Be responsible. Get checked. 601 00:47:55,133 --> 00:47:56,134 Dose. 602 00:48:00,181 --> 00:48:01,748 I want to rip off my skin. 603 00:48:04,185 --> 00:48:05,230 The way she looks at me. 604 00:48:08,711 --> 00:48:10,322 Does she need to double up? 605 00:48:11,105 --> 00:48:13,020 The nurse. The fucking nurse. 606 00:48:14,021 --> 00:48:17,285 I'm dirty. Disgusting. 607 00:48:17,416 --> 00:48:19,418 She doesn't see me. 608 00:48:19,548 --> 00:48:21,942 She'll check my chart. 609 00:48:22,029 --> 00:48:23,074 She'll know what I've done. 610 00:48:36,696 --> 00:48:39,264 [objects clattering] 611 00:48:41,919 --> 00:48:43,442 [knocking on door] 612 00:48:43,964 --> 00:48:46,401 [door creaking open] 613 00:49:06,334 --> 00:49:08,423 [indistinct whispering] 614 00:49:16,388 --> 00:49:18,259 [toilet flushing] 615 00:49:34,536 --> 00:49:36,321 [Santi] I told you last time I wanted to sell you, 616 00:49:36,451 --> 00:49:37,757 you know what I mean? 617 00:49:38,540 --> 00:49:40,238 I just didn't like the way y'all went out like that. 618 00:49:40,368 --> 00:49:41,587 [man] I know you got something. 619 00:49:41,717 --> 00:49:42,980 [Santi] Nah, not this time. 620 00:49:43,110 --> 00:49:45,591 [indistinct conversation] 621 00:49:45,678 --> 00:49:49,551 [indistinct fighting] 622 00:49:49,682 --> 00:49:51,249 [man] Fuck you up. Fucking kill you. 623 00:49:52,641 --> 00:49:53,903 This shit ain't over. 624 00:49:54,078 --> 00:49:58,996 ♪ 625 00:50:00,432 --> 00:50:01,781 [Chama] Santi, what did you do? 626 00:50:06,177 --> 00:50:07,482 Keep your fucking mouth shut. 627 00:50:23,107 --> 00:50:24,195 [music fades] 628 00:50:34,205 --> 00:50:35,858 [Chama panting] 629 00:50:38,383 --> 00:50:41,342 [Chama crying] 630 00:50:49,394 --> 00:50:51,396 [Chama panting] 631 00:51:00,231 --> 00:51:03,190 [Chama shivering] 632 00:51:05,062 --> 00:51:06,367 [Chama vomiting] 633 00:51:10,067 --> 00:51:12,417 [Chama panting] 634 00:51:20,642 --> 00:51:23,384 [Chama groaning] 635 00:51:23,471 --> 00:51:25,908 [suspenseful music playing] 636 00:51:27,606 --> 00:51:29,086 [Chama groaning] 637 00:51:37,094 --> 00:51:38,443 [groaning continues] 638 00:51:44,362 --> 00:51:46,103 [Chama coughing] 639 00:51:50,368 --> 00:51:52,283 [knocking on door] 640 00:51:55,460 --> 00:51:56,374 Who's there? 641 00:52:00,900 --> 00:52:02,380 [Toaster] What are you doing, Chama? 642 00:52:04,077 --> 00:52:05,122 Toaster. 643 00:52:09,387 --> 00:52:11,084 You gotta go away. 644 00:52:11,215 --> 00:52:12,477 [Chama panting] 645 00:52:16,568 --> 00:52:17,482 Go away! 646 00:52:25,707 --> 00:52:26,969 [Chama] Toaster. 647 00:52:28,275 --> 00:52:30,712 Toaster! 648 00:52:30,843 --> 00:52:31,974 [Toaster] I thought you wanted me to leave. 649 00:52:35,239 --> 00:52:36,892 [sobbing] No, no. 650 00:52:37,023 --> 00:52:38,590 [crying] 651 00:52:42,594 --> 00:52:43,638 I'm all alone. 652 00:52:51,298 --> 00:52:53,953 [Toaster] Remember when we first met? 653 00:52:54,083 --> 00:52:56,216 We were working at some old folks' home 654 00:52:56,347 --> 00:52:57,522 and making food and shit. 655 00:53:00,655 --> 00:53:02,483 Yeah. 656 00:53:02,614 --> 00:53:04,485 We both hated the way old people were treated. 657 00:53:06,400 --> 00:53:08,054 Like they were a nuisance. 658 00:53:09,751 --> 00:53:11,927 Like they chose to be old and shit. 659 00:53:12,058 --> 00:53:14,191 [Toaster] You thought I was like your sister and shit. 660 00:53:14,321 --> 00:53:15,888 You got all mad. 661 00:53:17,455 --> 00:53:19,108 [lighter clicking] 662 00:53:19,239 --> 00:53:20,675 [fire crackling] 663 00:53:20,849 --> 00:53:25,985 ♪ 664 00:53:30,207 --> 00:53:32,905 [Chama groaning] 665 00:53:33,035 --> 00:53:34,559 [Toaster] You know what the worst part is? 666 00:53:35,647 --> 00:53:37,605 All of it. 667 00:53:37,736 --> 00:53:39,216 [Toaster] When you're out, Chama. 668 00:53:42,393 --> 00:53:44,743 You start smoking the crumbs. 669 00:53:44,873 --> 00:53:46,397 I've seen you do it. 670 00:53:46,527 --> 00:53:48,268 You're a dummy. 671 00:53:48,399 --> 00:53:49,748 You smoke the crumbs and then more. 672 00:53:49,878 --> 00:53:52,968 Then you put Selena on full blast. 673 00:53:53,055 --> 00:53:57,538 But it's not the same as when you kiss it. 674 00:53:57,625 --> 00:53:59,236 -Put it in. -[screaming] No, shut up! 675 00:54:00,759 --> 00:54:02,108 [Toaster] Open up. 676 00:54:02,239 --> 00:54:04,197 [Chama] No. No! 677 00:54:04,328 --> 00:54:06,765 [banging on door] 678 00:54:06,895 --> 00:54:08,723 [Toaster] I've got something for you, Chama. 679 00:54:10,334 --> 00:54:11,465 No! 680 00:54:11,552 --> 00:54:13,946 [music intensifies] 681 00:54:15,861 --> 00:54:17,254 [Chama panting] 682 00:54:23,608 --> 00:54:25,523 [Chama] I'll do better, I'll do better, 683 00:54:25,653 --> 00:54:27,307 I'll do better, I'll do better, 684 00:54:27,394 --> 00:54:28,569 I promise I'll do better. 685 00:54:28,700 --> 00:54:31,703 [indistinct arguing] 686 00:54:31,833 --> 00:54:33,879 [woman] You lied. You lied. 687 00:54:34,009 --> 00:54:38,318 [indistinct, overlapping voices] 688 00:54:38,449 --> 00:54:41,103 [woman sobbing incoherently] 689 00:54:44,019 --> 00:54:45,891 No, don't-- don't move, don't move. 690 00:54:45,978 --> 00:54:47,936 Is it cold? Is it cold down there? 691 00:54:48,067 --> 00:54:51,157 Please hold on to my hand. Oh, my God. 692 00:54:51,288 --> 00:54:53,638 [woman sobbing] 693 00:54:57,032 --> 00:54:59,121 [heavy metal music playing] 694 00:54:59,252 --> 00:55:00,166 [Chama] Toaster. 695 00:55:01,820 --> 00:55:03,082 Are you fucking with me? 696 00:55:04,083 --> 00:55:05,998 What are you doing, Chama? 697 00:55:06,128 --> 00:55:07,826 [man's voice muffled] Hey. 698 00:55:07,956 --> 00:55:09,610 [speaking indistinctly] 699 00:55:10,829 --> 00:55:12,309 -Don't you? -No, sorry. 700 00:55:14,398 --> 00:55:15,442 I only got a couple of bucks. 701 00:55:16,791 --> 00:55:19,751 [man speaking indistinctly] 702 00:55:19,881 --> 00:55:21,492 Come on. Please. 703 00:55:25,452 --> 00:55:27,802 Come on. Come on. Please. 704 00:55:34,026 --> 00:55:38,335 Come on. Come on. Come on, please. 705 00:55:39,901 --> 00:55:41,163 [silence] 706 00:55:46,343 --> 00:55:48,693 [Chama] I've been talking to you and not once, 707 00:55:48,780 --> 00:55:51,435 through everything, have you said anything back. 708 00:55:54,438 --> 00:55:55,526 Are you not there? 709 00:55:57,005 --> 00:55:58,355 Can you not hear me? 710 00:55:59,443 --> 00:56:01,227 [tape rolling] 711 00:56:05,927 --> 00:56:08,669 [music box lullaby playing] 712 00:56:19,854 --> 00:56:21,813 [baby crying] 713 00:56:21,987 --> 00:56:27,209 ♪ 714 00:56:34,869 --> 00:56:35,740 [distant thud] 715 00:56:40,309 --> 00:56:41,267 Nine months. 716 00:56:42,355 --> 00:56:43,269 [sighs] 717 00:56:44,705 --> 00:56:45,837 Clean. 718 00:56:50,711 --> 00:56:51,756 Look at your arms. 719 00:56:52,452 --> 00:56:55,368 You're a worthless fucking... 720 00:56:56,804 --> 00:56:57,762 junkie. 721 00:57:00,591 --> 00:57:01,853 Why don't you just kill yourself? 722 00:57:03,681 --> 00:57:07,206 [panting] 723 00:57:11,950 --> 00:57:12,907 Or you could... 724 00:57:14,735 --> 00:57:15,736 go. 725 00:57:17,085 --> 00:57:18,130 Grab your daughter... 726 00:57:20,349 --> 00:57:21,742 and get out of here. 727 00:57:22,264 --> 00:57:23,614 Get the fuck out of here. 728 00:57:24,963 --> 00:57:26,660 [baby crying] 729 00:57:26,791 --> 00:57:27,792 Get the fuck out of here. 730 00:57:30,229 --> 00:57:31,448 Police department, don't move! 731 00:57:31,535 --> 00:57:32,753 Police department! 732 00:57:35,582 --> 00:57:38,455 [baby crying] 733 00:57:40,544 --> 00:57:42,589 [suspenseful music plays] 734 00:57:49,944 --> 00:57:50,815 [Santi exclaims] 735 00:57:51,903 --> 00:57:53,295 [Santi grunts] 736 00:58:01,608 --> 00:58:03,349 [reel stops] 737 00:58:05,873 --> 00:58:08,528 [Nell] You wanna know the... [chuckles] 738 00:58:08,659 --> 00:58:11,662 ...two worst words in the English vocabulary? 739 00:58:14,795 --> 00:58:16,754 What if... [chuckles] 740 00:58:17,842 --> 00:58:19,757 ...um, what if... 741 00:58:22,020 --> 00:58:23,630 my dad was the president? 742 00:58:25,502 --> 00:58:26,503 Or what if... 743 00:58:27,939 --> 00:58:29,375 um, my mom... 744 00:58:30,637 --> 00:58:32,291 actually wanted me? 745 00:58:34,946 --> 00:58:36,382 What if... 746 00:58:37,209 --> 00:58:38,950 I was born in London, 747 00:58:39,080 --> 00:58:40,212 or... 748 00:58:41,082 --> 00:58:42,388 or Ireland? 749 00:58:45,086 --> 00:58:47,306 Lived on a farm far away? 750 00:58:48,133 --> 00:58:49,308 [chuckles] 751 00:58:54,008 --> 00:58:56,141 What if when I ate food 752 00:58:56,228 --> 00:58:57,969 I could keep it down, 753 00:58:58,099 --> 00:59:01,538 like, that wasn't even a thought, you know? 754 00:59:01,668 --> 00:59:03,409 [chuckles] 755 00:59:08,066 --> 00:59:09,328 What if they didn't say... 756 00:59:10,634 --> 00:59:11,548 it was all my fault? 757 00:59:14,638 --> 00:59:15,900 Make up lies about me? 758 00:59:19,251 --> 00:59:20,339 [sniffs] 759 00:59:22,776 --> 00:59:24,735 What if he came to get me? 760 00:59:24,865 --> 00:59:25,823 [chuckles] 761 00:59:28,216 --> 00:59:29,522 You know where I'm at? 762 00:59:34,483 --> 00:59:36,877 You know, what if I didn't have to ask what if? 763 00:59:37,008 --> 00:59:38,052 [chuckles] 764 00:59:39,663 --> 00:59:41,752 [soft music plays] 765 00:59:41,926 --> 00:59:46,887 ♪ 766 01:00:17,744 --> 01:00:18,615 Can't. 767 01:00:21,095 --> 01:00:23,750 ♪ Please don't say anything ♪ 768 01:00:23,924 --> 01:00:26,013 ♪ Anything at all ♪ 769 01:00:26,144 --> 01:00:28,929 Look, I've-- I've been calling 770 01:00:29,016 --> 01:00:32,063 over and over and no-- nobody will tell me nothing! 771 01:00:32,237 --> 01:00:35,893 ♪ The silence says it all ♪ 772 01:00:38,852 --> 01:00:41,463 ♪ Blood running through my veins ♪ 773 01:00:41,594 --> 01:00:42,813 Where is she? 774 01:00:49,123 --> 01:00:50,603 Don't worry, [indistinct] 775 01:00:52,126 --> 01:00:53,824 [Chama] No, don't-- don't hang up. 776 01:00:53,954 --> 01:00:55,869 I just-- I want to know where she is. 777 01:00:55,956 --> 01:00:58,611 ♪ For that call ♪ 778 01:01:02,267 --> 01:01:06,663 ♪ Ooh ♪ 779 01:01:16,411 --> 01:01:17,499 [Chama] Can't. 780 01:01:18,326 --> 01:01:19,719 [Toaster] Come on! 781 01:01:20,328 --> 01:01:22,635 What the-- what the fuck? 782 01:01:22,766 --> 01:01:23,984 We need help! 783 01:01:24,115 --> 01:01:25,246 Who's gonna help us? 784 01:01:25,638 --> 01:01:27,988 Who? Who, who, who? 785 01:01:28,119 --> 01:01:30,251 -I don't know, I just-- -[Toaster] Say it. What? 786 01:01:30,382 --> 01:01:31,992 -Say it! What are you, dumb? -I feel like-- 787 01:01:32,123 --> 01:01:33,298 Who's gonna help us? 788 01:01:34,168 --> 01:01:36,040 -Who's gonna help us? -I don't know! 789 01:01:37,302 --> 01:01:38,172 I don't know! 790 01:01:40,174 --> 01:01:41,785 -We need help. -[Toaster] Who's gonna help us? 791 01:01:41,915 --> 01:01:43,308 I don't know. I don't know. 792 01:01:44,004 --> 01:01:47,051 I don't-- I feel-- I feel-- 793 01:01:47,181 --> 01:01:49,575 I feel like I wanna rip my hair out. 794 01:01:50,794 --> 01:01:53,144 I wanna tear my skin off 795 01:01:53,274 --> 01:01:54,885 and walk away from this shit 796 01:01:55,015 --> 01:01:56,582 I feel all the time! 797 01:01:57,365 --> 01:01:59,933 [Toaster laughs] 798 01:02:00,107 --> 01:02:03,284 ♪ Don't leave me don't leave me ♪ 799 01:02:03,458 --> 01:02:05,722 ♪ Don't leave me don't leave me ♪ 800 01:02:07,854 --> 01:02:08,725 [Toaster] What? 801 01:02:09,726 --> 01:02:10,727 Where are you going? 802 01:02:15,862 --> 01:02:16,863 Where are you going? 803 01:02:18,256 --> 01:02:19,605 You just gonna stumble off? 804 01:02:20,867 --> 01:02:21,999 You gonna stumble right back. 805 01:02:27,265 --> 01:02:28,745 No one gives a shit. 806 01:02:30,268 --> 01:02:31,965 We ain't stupid. 807 01:02:32,096 --> 01:02:33,532 We know there's nothing else. 808 01:02:34,707 --> 01:02:35,839 Where are you going? 809 01:02:37,797 --> 01:02:39,581 Where are you going, Chama? 810 01:02:45,457 --> 01:02:47,764 [eerie music plays] 811 01:02:59,297 --> 01:03:01,081 [screaming] 812 01:03:06,608 --> 01:03:09,133 [Chama] When Abuelo died, I ran away. 813 01:03:11,396 --> 01:03:13,311 [screaming] 814 01:03:13,441 --> 01:03:14,965 [Chama] Which brought me right back to you. 815 01:03:15,095 --> 01:03:17,184 [screaming] 816 01:03:17,315 --> 01:03:18,925 [Beatriz] Do you want them to think you're loca? 817 01:03:19,012 --> 01:03:20,927 Because that's what they're gonna say, hm? 818 01:03:21,058 --> 01:03:22,233 Look at that crazy, going around losing it. 819 01:03:23,887 --> 01:03:25,149 [bell tolling] 820 01:03:33,070 --> 01:03:35,463 It's not fair. I don't want Abuelo to go. 821 01:03:36,203 --> 01:03:37,639 You think anyone cares about what you want? 822 01:03:41,426 --> 01:03:42,775 Your sister's not gonna live with us anymore. 823 01:03:43,820 --> 01:03:45,430 Her father wants her. 824 01:03:45,560 --> 01:03:46,823 Take her back to Texas and I'm too fucking tired 825 01:03:46,910 --> 01:03:47,780 to keep fighting him. 826 01:03:50,174 --> 01:03:51,828 -[crow squawking] -Just us now. 827 01:03:59,444 --> 01:04:01,315 Don't be mad at what it is because we're just paying 828 01:04:01,446 --> 01:04:02,534 for something we did in another life. 829 01:04:04,449 --> 01:04:05,319 Here, drink this. 830 01:04:06,843 --> 01:04:08,279 Not too much. 831 01:04:08,409 --> 01:04:09,323 Just enough to make you feel better. 832 01:04:29,169 --> 01:04:30,040 [sniffs] 833 01:04:36,350 --> 01:04:37,395 [thud] 834 01:04:37,525 --> 01:04:39,614 [serene music plays] 835 01:04:39,788 --> 01:04:44,706 ♪ 836 01:05:09,166 --> 01:05:10,080 [nurse] I thought you looked thirsty, mama. 837 01:05:15,607 --> 01:05:17,304 Chart's looking like you're eight weeks along. 838 01:05:18,262 --> 01:05:19,785 Someone talk to you about your options? 839 01:05:23,615 --> 01:05:24,921 It's okay, mama, take your time. 840 01:05:28,359 --> 01:05:29,273 [sniffs] 841 01:05:33,973 --> 01:05:35,148 Thank you. 842 01:05:36,106 --> 01:05:37,063 [nurse] You think you gotta keep it yourself, 843 01:05:37,194 --> 01:05:38,760 but you don't. 844 01:05:39,674 --> 01:05:41,198 I don't know what direction you gonna go with this pregnancy, 845 01:05:41,328 --> 01:05:43,635 but we can help you safely transition. 846 01:05:43,765 --> 01:05:45,245 Detox that stuff out your system. 847 01:05:47,117 --> 01:05:48,379 Or you can continue your way. 848 01:05:51,251 --> 01:05:53,166 You got two options here. 849 01:05:53,297 --> 01:05:55,734 First, you leave, then there's the second one. 850 01:06:03,524 --> 01:06:05,048 [Chama] I know I'll see her face again. 851 01:06:11,706 --> 01:06:12,925 The bedpost. 852 01:06:14,231 --> 01:06:15,058 The ceiling. 853 01:06:16,276 --> 01:06:17,147 The mole. 854 01:06:18,235 --> 01:06:19,714 The itch. 855 01:06:19,845 --> 01:06:21,194 -[woman] Did you hear that? -[Chama coughs] 856 01:06:21,325 --> 01:06:24,328 [indistinct whispering] 857 01:06:26,765 --> 01:06:28,462 [Chama] I know I'll see her face again. 858 01:06:28,941 --> 01:06:32,249 [machine beeping] 859 01:06:33,990 --> 01:06:36,122 The bedpost. The ceiling. 860 01:06:37,341 --> 01:06:39,038 The mole. The itch. 861 01:06:39,125 --> 01:06:40,997 [indistinct whispering] 862 01:06:44,783 --> 01:06:47,873 [music intensifies] 863 01:06:51,616 --> 01:06:53,357 [Chama] I know I'll see her face again. 864 01:07:00,581 --> 01:07:03,584 The bedpost. The ceiling. The mole. 865 01:07:03,715 --> 01:07:04,846 You're looking better. 866 01:07:08,459 --> 01:07:10,287 [Chama] I know I'll see her face again. 867 01:07:10,417 --> 01:07:11,592 I know I'll see her face again. 868 01:07:11,723 --> 01:07:13,159 [woman] You're looking better. 869 01:07:13,290 --> 01:07:14,682 I know I'll see her face again. 870 01:07:14,813 --> 01:07:16,119 [woman] You're looking better. 871 01:07:16,249 --> 01:07:17,033 I know I'll see her face again! 872 01:07:19,470 --> 01:07:20,993 [phone ringing] 873 01:07:32,048 --> 01:07:33,049 First time here? 874 01:07:37,618 --> 01:07:39,794 They think we're all crazy. [chuckles] 875 01:07:39,925 --> 01:07:41,405 Kind of makes me wanna pop their eye out. 876 01:07:42,841 --> 01:07:45,061 [exclaims] I'm Nell. 877 01:07:46,018 --> 01:07:48,020 [woman speaks indistinctly on radio] 878 01:07:49,195 --> 01:07:50,196 Chama. 879 01:07:51,197 --> 01:07:52,198 [Nell] Like the town. 880 01:07:54,722 --> 01:07:56,072 Chama, New Mexico. 881 01:07:56,724 --> 01:07:57,899 [elevator bell dings] 882 01:08:03,296 --> 01:08:05,255 Everything is out to beat us, 883 01:08:06,125 --> 01:08:08,084 but I'm just biding my minutes 'til I get into Guadalupe. 884 01:08:14,133 --> 01:08:15,091 Is this your first time? 885 01:08:16,483 --> 01:08:17,484 Sixth. 886 01:08:17,571 --> 01:08:19,356 [indistinct over radio] 887 01:08:22,750 --> 01:08:23,882 See you later. 888 01:08:26,102 --> 01:08:27,277 [phone rings] 889 01:08:29,453 --> 01:08:31,629 [machine beeping] 890 01:08:31,759 --> 01:08:32,586 [Chama] Bedpost. 891 01:08:36,242 --> 01:08:37,113 Ceiling. 892 01:08:46,687 --> 01:08:48,080 Boredom. 893 01:08:56,697 --> 01:08:57,959 Itch. 894 01:09:01,746 --> 01:09:03,791 Not as sick. 895 01:09:03,878 --> 01:09:06,577 [machine beeping] 896 01:09:14,367 --> 01:09:15,499 [Shorty] I was in my Grandma's double-wide 897 01:09:15,586 --> 01:09:16,891 playing with her cat. 898 01:09:17,370 --> 01:09:18,719 Her neighbor stopped over and asked 899 01:09:18,850 --> 01:09:19,894 if I wanted to try something. 900 01:09:20,808 --> 01:09:22,593 I was like, "How does it feel?" 901 01:09:22,723 --> 01:09:24,160 He was like, "Don't be a baby. Just try it." 902 01:09:26,031 --> 01:09:27,685 So I smoked meth out of a light bulb. 903 01:09:28,773 --> 01:09:30,166 I was like, "I don't even feel anything." 904 01:09:31,428 --> 01:09:34,300 Then it was days later 905 01:09:34,431 --> 01:09:36,172 and there was no concept of where time went. 906 01:09:36,302 --> 01:09:38,913 All I know is Grandma's cat was dead 907 01:09:39,044 --> 01:09:40,437 and I missed my 16th birthday. 908 01:09:41,394 --> 01:09:42,352 [click] 909 01:09:45,442 --> 01:09:47,008 [comedic music plays] 910 01:09:49,010 --> 01:09:52,492 I was just thinking how fucking awesome life is. 911 01:09:52,623 --> 01:09:55,452 I know. We have clothes and groceries. 912 01:09:55,582 --> 01:09:57,236 Mom's not snorting dust off the carpet 913 01:09:57,367 --> 01:09:59,238 and we have college funds. 914 01:09:59,369 --> 01:10:01,240 I'm so glad you're not fuck ups like Tina's kids. 915 01:10:01,371 --> 01:10:03,460 They smell like garbage. 916 01:10:03,590 --> 01:10:05,288 You're also lucky to have a house with a working heater. 917 01:10:05,418 --> 01:10:06,724 Do people live without a heater? 918 01:10:06,811 --> 01:10:08,247 Oh, yes. 919 01:10:08,334 --> 01:10:10,162 Because usually those people 920 01:10:10,249 --> 01:10:12,077 are fucking strangers for coke. 921 01:10:13,644 --> 01:10:15,515 -Hey, Nick. -[Nick] Hello. 922 01:10:15,646 --> 01:10:17,082 [phone rings] 923 01:10:20,738 --> 01:10:22,043 Bring back a chicharrón? 924 01:10:23,262 --> 01:10:24,220 [Nick] Huh? 925 01:10:25,482 --> 01:10:27,005 Are you even New Mexican? 926 01:10:28,485 --> 01:10:30,443 Born and raised. 927 01:10:30,574 --> 01:10:31,836 You're as New Mexican as Taco Bell green chili. 928 01:10:32,750 --> 01:10:34,969 There, you see? You do have jokes. 929 01:10:35,056 --> 01:10:36,536 They're not necessarily good, but... 930 01:10:37,798 --> 01:10:39,670 [buzzing] 931 01:10:49,027 --> 01:10:52,073 ["Big Black Tooth" by Feedback Revival playing] 932 01:10:57,122 --> 01:11:00,081 ♪ I'm gettin' better, gettin' better all the time ♪ 933 01:11:04,521 --> 01:11:06,349 [Nick] Hey, hey, hold up. 934 01:11:06,479 --> 01:11:07,698 Hold up. You got a place to go? 935 01:11:09,526 --> 01:11:10,788 Yeah, sure. 936 01:11:11,441 --> 01:11:13,573 [Nick] There's other spots you can try. 937 01:11:13,660 --> 01:11:14,966 Yeah, everyone's really rolling out the red carpet these days. 938 01:11:16,881 --> 01:11:19,623 -[indistinct screaming] -[glass breaking] 939 01:11:23,496 --> 01:11:25,455 [Nick] Francis, don't. 940 01:11:25,803 --> 01:11:27,587 Come on, Francis. 941 01:11:27,718 --> 01:11:29,807 [Francis] 'Cause I ain't got nothing left! 942 01:11:29,894 --> 01:11:31,809 [Nick] Please, will you just go inside? 943 01:11:31,896 --> 01:11:33,114 Francis. 944 01:11:38,511 --> 01:11:39,817 [Mrs. Dyer] People come and go. 945 01:11:39,947 --> 01:11:41,688 If you want it, you want it. 946 01:11:41,819 --> 01:11:44,735 If you don't, don't take someone else's bed. 947 01:11:45,649 --> 01:11:47,128 There's a box of donated clothes in the corner. 948 01:11:53,396 --> 01:11:54,440 [Nell] Looks like you made it. 949 01:12:21,946 --> 01:12:23,121 Look... 950 01:12:25,558 --> 01:12:26,429 I don't know what I'm doing. 951 01:12:28,648 --> 01:12:29,519 Are you on anything? 952 01:12:31,434 --> 01:12:32,522 No, I'm clean. 953 01:12:35,829 --> 01:12:37,396 Plus, I don't even got any money. 954 01:12:38,136 --> 01:12:39,355 Has that ever stopped you before? 955 01:12:43,446 --> 01:12:44,360 Whatever. 956 01:12:57,590 --> 01:12:58,678 I'm not gonna fuck you. 957 01:12:59,070 --> 01:13:01,072 [Nick chuckles] 958 01:13:03,814 --> 01:13:04,684 I'm sorry. 959 01:13:07,818 --> 01:13:08,732 [Chama sighs] 960 01:13:12,823 --> 01:13:13,911 Why are you here? 961 01:13:14,651 --> 01:13:17,088 Because I need to get my daughter back. 962 01:13:25,444 --> 01:13:26,663 Because I need to be normal. 963 01:13:30,928 --> 01:13:31,885 You know what that word means? 964 01:13:33,234 --> 01:13:35,454 The usual, the average, 965 01:13:35,585 --> 01:13:37,543 the typical state or condition. 966 01:13:39,502 --> 01:13:40,503 What's normal to you? 967 01:13:43,854 --> 01:13:44,724 I don't know. 968 01:13:45,986 --> 01:13:46,857 [Nick] Think about it. 969 01:13:55,953 --> 01:13:57,911 Two girls drinking at a party. 970 01:14:01,915 --> 01:14:03,439 One stops when it's empty. 971 01:14:04,788 --> 01:14:06,572 For the other, it never ends. 972 01:14:07,965 --> 01:14:09,357 So you want to be able to drink-- 973 01:14:09,488 --> 01:14:10,446 No! 974 01:14:12,099 --> 01:14:13,449 I don't fucking need this shit. 975 01:14:20,804 --> 01:14:22,849 Look, it don't have to be easy, 976 01:14:22,980 --> 01:14:25,678 but just, like, fair, you know? 977 01:14:25,809 --> 01:14:27,680 Nothing in life is fair. 978 01:14:27,767 --> 01:14:28,638 [Chama] We'll see. 979 01:14:29,987 --> 01:14:31,292 What do you know about it? 980 01:14:34,295 --> 01:14:36,646 I was diagnosed with cancer when I was 30. 981 01:14:36,776 --> 01:14:38,082 My parents won't talk to me. 982 01:14:38,212 --> 01:14:40,606 My first boyfriend ended in assault 983 01:14:40,693 --> 01:14:42,521 and my last one cheated on me. 984 01:14:42,956 --> 01:14:44,610 I would love a drink, 985 01:14:44,697 --> 01:14:46,177 but I haven't had one in 12 years. 986 01:14:47,221 --> 01:14:49,746 Nothing in life is fair, nothing is normal. 987 01:14:50,747 --> 01:14:51,965 But there's beauty if you fight to see it. 988 01:14:57,841 --> 01:15:00,452 -You're gay? -[Nick chuckles] 989 01:15:00,583 --> 01:15:01,627 That's what you took away from that? 990 01:15:07,067 --> 01:15:08,504 You know what I did when I first got sober? 991 01:15:10,375 --> 01:15:11,463 I'm sure you're gonna tell me. 992 01:15:15,685 --> 01:15:16,816 [Nick] I wrote a moment on each of those. 993 01:15:18,905 --> 01:15:20,777 The moments that got me down, the ones that kept me going. 994 01:15:20,907 --> 01:15:22,300 Everything, leading up 'til now. 995 01:15:25,651 --> 01:15:26,696 Sounds like a lot of triggers. 996 01:15:28,132 --> 01:15:29,916 When you're done, 997 01:15:30,047 --> 01:15:31,004 stick 'em on that wall. 998 01:15:47,064 --> 01:15:47,847 What happened when you were born? 999 01:15:50,241 --> 01:15:51,503 I tried to kill myself. 1000 01:15:52,809 --> 01:15:54,201 There you go. 1001 01:15:54,288 --> 01:15:55,376 Start from the beginning. 1002 01:16:04,472 --> 01:16:06,083 [deep inhale] 1003 01:16:06,213 --> 01:16:08,825 [Chama] Cord wrapped around my neck. 1004 01:16:08,912 --> 01:16:10,522 It was my first struggle. 1005 01:16:10,653 --> 01:16:13,569 [intense music plays] 1006 01:16:17,747 --> 01:16:18,661 This world. 1007 01:16:20,488 --> 01:16:21,577 School. 1008 01:16:21,707 --> 01:16:23,753 I failed. 1009 01:16:23,883 --> 01:16:26,582 If I can fix cars I can fix anything. 1010 01:16:30,673 --> 01:16:33,676 My mother's new boyfriend. 1011 01:16:33,763 --> 01:16:35,721 -My new boyfriend. -[panting] 1012 01:16:35,808 --> 01:16:38,768 He called me beautiful, ugly. 1013 01:16:38,898 --> 01:16:40,160 [Santi] Look at this place, mija. 1014 01:16:40,291 --> 01:16:41,901 [Chama] [indistinct] 1015 01:16:42,032 --> 01:16:43,381 [Santi] This is what you dreamed of. 1016 01:16:43,511 --> 01:16:44,687 [Mari] You gave me no fucking choice 1017 01:16:44,774 --> 01:16:45,688 and you have to live with it! 1018 01:16:45,818 --> 01:16:46,993 You did this, Elena. 1019 01:16:47,124 --> 01:16:48,865 [Chama] Transforming. 1020 01:16:49,387 --> 01:16:50,475 [Santi] Shut your fucking mouth. 1021 01:16:51,737 --> 01:16:53,870 [Chama] Santi. A dealer. 1022 01:16:54,958 --> 01:16:56,829 My first kiss. 1023 01:16:56,960 --> 01:16:59,049 Curious.[indistinct] 1024 01:17:01,312 --> 01:17:04,750 [indistinct ruminating] 1025 01:17:07,013 --> 01:17:09,712 [Chama] Play the same song over and over. 1026 01:17:09,842 --> 01:17:11,583 I stuck a needle in my veins. 1027 01:17:11,714 --> 01:17:13,629 My sister listened to me. 1028 01:17:13,759 --> 01:17:15,587 My sister wouldn't ask if I came home. 1029 01:17:15,718 --> 01:17:17,676 Abuelo used to say 1030 01:17:17,763 --> 01:17:18,895 that if you find a black feather... 1031 01:17:20,157 --> 01:17:21,419 it's a warning. 1032 01:17:24,901 --> 01:17:26,511 [woman] Come on, come on, we don't have much time. 1033 01:17:32,865 --> 01:17:34,171 [Chama] I love you. 1034 01:17:34,301 --> 01:17:36,695 I love you, I love you. 1035 01:17:36,826 --> 01:17:39,437 [indistinct ruminating] 1036 01:17:48,402 --> 01:17:50,796 -[Santi grunts] -[screaming] 1037 01:17:50,927 --> 01:17:52,537 [Toaster] Where are you going, Chama? 1038 01:17:53,190 --> 01:17:54,495 You broke it! 1039 01:17:57,455 --> 01:17:59,979 [Chama] I am my mother's lost sisters. 1040 01:18:00,066 --> 01:18:03,156 [indistinct, overlapping ruminating] 1041 01:18:06,856 --> 01:18:08,466 -The dealer. -[car horn honks] 1042 01:18:13,601 --> 01:18:14,559 Scared. 1043 01:18:17,649 --> 01:18:20,130 [serene music plays] 1044 01:18:26,397 --> 01:18:27,572 Always felt like home here. 1045 01:18:28,747 --> 01:18:31,010 -The river. -It's dirty. 1046 01:18:31,141 --> 01:18:32,533 Half the time it doesn't even have water. 1047 01:18:36,581 --> 01:18:38,322 You find what it is you were looking for? 1048 01:18:38,452 --> 01:18:40,411 -Don't be like that. -Like what, Chama? 1049 01:18:41,325 --> 01:18:42,195 Like your mother? 1050 01:18:43,196 --> 01:18:44,023 What else have you got? 1051 01:18:53,293 --> 01:18:55,339 Your Abuelo used to say, "I don't need a watch-- 1052 01:18:55,469 --> 01:18:56,557 I got the river." 1053 01:19:06,089 --> 01:19:06,916 If you leave... 1054 01:19:08,569 --> 01:19:10,049 I don't ever want to see you again. 1055 01:19:13,618 --> 01:19:15,228 [Chama] I wish I would've put my arms around you. 1056 01:19:16,447 --> 01:19:17,448 One last time. 1057 01:19:19,406 --> 01:19:22,279 I wish I would have held you, felt you, 1058 01:19:22,409 --> 01:19:24,455 smelled that lipstick. 1059 01:19:24,585 --> 01:19:27,066 I wish I would have been home when they found you. 1060 01:19:27,197 --> 01:19:28,894 I hated you. 1061 01:19:29,025 --> 01:19:30,940 I blamed you. 1062 01:19:31,070 --> 01:19:32,637 I skipped your funeral and Mari hated me. 1063 01:19:35,683 --> 01:19:37,903 But I pretend in that last moment... 1064 01:19:39,426 --> 01:19:41,602 you saw something beautiful. 1065 01:20:08,368 --> 01:20:09,239 [Nell] I used to be married. 1066 01:20:11,371 --> 01:20:12,938 He's famous, I can't tell you who it was. 1067 01:20:14,461 --> 01:20:15,811 [Chama] Okay. 1068 01:20:17,421 --> 01:20:18,857 I was independent though. 1069 01:20:19,510 --> 01:20:21,381 Yeah, I loved to work. 1070 01:20:21,512 --> 01:20:24,297 I ran five restaurants. 1071 01:20:24,384 --> 01:20:27,344 I mean, most people only, like, oversee one. 1072 01:20:27,474 --> 01:20:28,824 Wanna know how many I ran? 1073 01:20:30,564 --> 01:20:32,001 -[Chama] Five? -Five! 1074 01:20:33,176 --> 01:20:35,700 Yeah, they respected me. 1075 01:20:35,831 --> 01:20:37,136 You know, like... 1076 01:20:38,050 --> 01:20:39,443 I wasn't a bitch to them or anything 1077 01:20:39,573 --> 01:20:41,749 if that's what you're thinking, 1078 01:20:41,880 --> 01:20:42,838 but I was the boss. 1079 01:20:44,404 --> 01:20:45,841 You should see the way they looked at me 1080 01:20:45,971 --> 01:20:46,972 when I walked into a Chili's. 1081 01:20:48,582 --> 01:20:50,367 [Chama] Nell likes to talk. 1082 01:20:50,497 --> 01:20:52,586 -[Nell speaking indistinctly] -[Chama] A lot. 1083 01:20:52,717 --> 01:20:55,111 She says she first tried heroin at age ten. 1084 01:20:55,241 --> 01:20:57,330 Given to her by a neighbor. 1085 01:20:57,417 --> 01:21:00,725 She told her father, who went to her and beat her. 1086 01:21:00,856 --> 01:21:02,596 She started cutting her knuckles in high school, 1087 01:21:02,727 --> 01:21:04,816 but her sister found out and threw away the razors. 1088 01:21:07,036 --> 01:21:09,342 All her friends worked at a local Chili's. 1089 01:21:09,473 --> 01:21:11,562 Nell claims she did, too. 1090 01:21:11,692 --> 01:21:15,087 She goes on and on and on about it. 1091 01:21:15,218 --> 01:21:17,176 I just want to scrub a toilet in peace. 1092 01:21:17,307 --> 01:21:18,961 Yeah, I don't really like Chili's. 1093 01:21:21,006 --> 01:21:22,312 Oh, you're one of those... 1094 01:21:23,487 --> 01:21:24,880 Applebee's motherfuckers? 1095 01:21:26,969 --> 01:21:27,883 [Nell chuckles] 1096 01:21:31,451 --> 01:21:34,280 Anyways I was doing really well, you know? 1097 01:21:34,411 --> 01:21:35,542 My husband was like... 1098 01:21:35,673 --> 01:21:37,718 [rhythmic vibration] 1099 01:21:50,818 --> 01:21:52,124 [snoring] 1100 01:21:52,255 --> 01:21:55,040 [rhythmic vibration continues] 1101 01:22:13,015 --> 01:22:13,929 [snoring] 1102 01:22:35,428 --> 01:22:37,300 Okay, let's check in. 1103 01:22:39,476 --> 01:22:40,781 It's a cloudy day out there today. 1104 01:22:42,392 --> 01:22:43,436 What's that make everyone think of? 1105 01:22:49,616 --> 01:22:52,968 [siren wailing in distance] 1106 01:22:58,451 --> 01:22:59,322 Rain. 1107 01:23:01,585 --> 01:23:03,326 Makes me think of my son playing in the puddles. 1108 01:23:05,023 --> 01:23:05,981 [Lucy] Sweaters. 1109 01:23:08,070 --> 01:23:09,985 I hate t-shirts and short pants. 1110 01:23:15,599 --> 01:23:16,774 How about you, Gata? 1111 01:23:18,428 --> 01:23:19,298 Go fuck yourself. 1112 01:23:22,345 --> 01:23:23,694 That's what my ma used to always say. 1113 01:23:26,001 --> 01:23:27,002 Clouds remind me of her. 1114 01:23:29,439 --> 01:23:30,309 Every time I'd mess up... 1115 01:23:31,615 --> 01:23:33,704 like, when she'd catch me slipping. 1116 01:23:35,140 --> 01:23:36,011 "Great... 1117 01:23:37,099 --> 01:23:38,274 go fuck yourself, Gata." 1118 01:23:39,666 --> 01:23:41,538 First time I came here, 1119 01:23:41,668 --> 01:23:44,367 -Nick suggested that I say-- -Go love yourself. 1120 01:23:45,194 --> 01:23:46,847 Yeah, so now... 1121 01:23:48,719 --> 01:23:50,025 when I think about my ma... 1122 01:23:51,722 --> 01:23:52,853 it's like... 1123 01:23:55,334 --> 01:23:56,379 Go love yourself, Gata. 1124 01:24:00,296 --> 01:24:01,819 Go love yourself back. 1125 01:24:14,310 --> 01:24:15,354 [Nick sighs] 1126 01:24:23,449 --> 01:24:24,363 Ow! 1127 01:24:28,193 --> 01:24:30,065 [car horns honking] 1128 01:24:34,808 --> 01:24:36,767 Well, I did it, because I wanted to. 1129 01:24:38,029 --> 01:24:38,943 Um... 1130 01:24:40,684 --> 01:24:44,079 I climbed out of the second story window 1131 01:24:44,209 --> 01:24:47,386 at my parents' house and, um, I jumped. 1132 01:24:47,517 --> 01:24:50,172 [chuckles] Probably broke, like, two bones. 1133 01:24:51,042 --> 01:24:53,392 [clears throat] But, you know, he was-- 1134 01:24:54,741 --> 01:24:56,526 he was older, uh... 1135 01:24:58,310 --> 01:25:01,096 he liked me, uh, everyone liked me. 1136 01:25:02,314 --> 01:25:03,098 [chuckles] 1137 01:25:04,925 --> 01:25:07,667 And, um, I wanted to see him. 1138 01:25:08,538 --> 01:25:12,281 So, yeah, we got a little strung out... 1139 01:25:15,501 --> 01:25:16,415 and, uh... 1140 01:25:18,983 --> 01:25:20,115 well, I woke up in a trailer 1141 01:25:20,245 --> 01:25:21,986 with four men... 1142 01:25:23,727 --> 01:25:24,554 that I didn't know. 1143 01:25:26,860 --> 01:25:28,645 I don't even think they knew my name. 1144 01:25:28,775 --> 01:25:30,560 [Nell laughs] 1145 01:25:31,648 --> 01:25:34,694 I had to take Clonazepam, so I wouldn't get seizures. 1146 01:25:35,608 --> 01:25:37,262 But one night after my husband got rough... 1147 01:25:38,568 --> 01:25:39,960 I took too many and OD'd. 1148 01:25:41,223 --> 01:25:43,225 This spark plug is fried. 1149 01:25:44,139 --> 01:25:45,401 [Gata] I got arrested in middle school. 1150 01:25:47,272 --> 01:25:48,621 Sent to Las Nunes. 1151 01:25:49,144 --> 01:25:50,449 He ordered a youth diagnostic. 1152 01:25:51,537 --> 01:25:53,235 I spent Christmas in jail. 1153 01:25:53,365 --> 01:25:54,453 When I got out of the hospital... 1154 01:25:55,672 --> 01:25:56,629 the doctor... 1155 01:25:57,717 --> 01:25:59,458 prescribed me Clonazepam. 1156 01:25:59,806 --> 01:26:01,243 [Gata] But I liked jail. 1157 01:26:02,069 --> 01:26:03,288 No one was gonna molest me there. 1158 01:26:05,334 --> 01:26:07,336 [Shorty] People always ask what's your favorite number. 1159 01:26:08,250 --> 01:26:10,034 I always thought that was a dumbass question. 1160 01:26:10,730 --> 01:26:11,992 Favorite color I get... 1161 01:26:13,037 --> 01:26:14,473 but it's not like you're gonna decorate your house 1162 01:26:14,604 --> 01:26:15,474 in multiples of seven. 1163 01:26:17,302 --> 01:26:18,999 But I'm a survivor of suicide. 1164 01:26:20,740 --> 01:26:22,351 I tried to kill myself eight times. 1165 01:26:24,440 --> 01:26:25,615 I know I won't live to see nine. 1166 01:26:26,746 --> 01:26:28,008 So eight. 1167 01:26:28,966 --> 01:26:30,402 That's my favorite. 1168 01:26:30,533 --> 01:26:32,491 Okay. Should be good. 1169 01:26:36,582 --> 01:26:38,497 -[hood slams shut] -Wow, nice. 1170 01:26:39,672 --> 01:26:40,586 Thanks. 1171 01:26:40,760 --> 01:26:45,678 ♪ 1172 01:26:47,637 --> 01:26:50,596 [whispering indistinctly] 1173 01:26:50,770 --> 01:26:55,688 ♪ 1174 01:27:07,700 --> 01:27:10,355 [Chama] I've already been transferred six times. 1175 01:27:10,442 --> 01:27:11,704 Does anyone actually work there? 1176 01:27:14,490 --> 01:27:15,360 Hello? 1177 01:27:24,282 --> 01:27:25,240 Coke? 1178 01:27:27,938 --> 01:27:29,331 Mostly opiates. 1179 01:27:31,420 --> 01:27:34,553 Mm, no, do you want a Coke? 1180 01:27:37,643 --> 01:27:39,384 -Yeah, Sprite. -Okay. 1181 01:27:42,431 --> 01:27:44,259 [cans opening] 1182 01:27:46,826 --> 01:27:48,524 [slurping] 1183 01:28:00,318 --> 01:28:01,450 I never worked at Chili's. 1184 01:28:04,279 --> 01:28:05,280 [chuckles] 1185 01:28:06,542 --> 01:28:07,456 They wouldn't hire me. 1186 01:28:13,940 --> 01:28:15,464 Maybe you should have tried Applebee's. 1187 01:28:20,382 --> 01:28:21,296 [chuckling] 1188 01:28:36,398 --> 01:28:39,183 [rhythmic vibration] 1189 01:29:06,123 --> 01:29:07,777 He was a penguin, but he was cold all the time, 1190 01:29:07,907 --> 01:29:09,431 so he wore a hat 1191 01:29:09,561 --> 01:29:11,346 and a little muffler around his neck. 1192 01:29:11,868 --> 01:29:13,348 -Nobody? -[chuckling] 1193 01:29:15,654 --> 01:29:16,786 I don't really know what's going on with my head. 1194 01:29:16,916 --> 01:29:18,962 -I don't know. -Okay. 1195 01:29:19,092 --> 01:29:20,180 All right, we're starting. 1196 01:29:22,531 --> 01:29:23,836 -Where's Nell at? -[Nick sighs] 1197 01:29:24,750 --> 01:29:25,838 She left. 1198 01:29:26,796 --> 01:29:27,797 And if she left... 1199 01:29:33,411 --> 01:29:36,196 -[phone hangs] -[dialing] 1200 01:29:37,372 --> 01:29:40,070 [phone ringing] 1201 01:29:40,200 --> 01:29:42,551 [operator] Please hang up and try your call again. 1202 01:29:46,119 --> 01:29:47,556 I've called CPS a million times, 1203 01:29:47,686 --> 01:29:49,384 and all I get is the run around. 1204 01:29:49,514 --> 01:29:51,211 -[Nick] They're busy. -Whose side you on? 1205 01:29:54,171 --> 01:29:55,825 They won't even let me see her, Nick. 1206 01:29:55,955 --> 01:29:57,087 I gotta see her. 1207 01:29:57,957 --> 01:29:58,871 You will. 1208 01:30:01,744 --> 01:30:04,094 -[phone hangs] -[dialing] 1209 01:30:09,752 --> 01:30:11,754 [phone ringing] 1210 01:30:15,932 --> 01:30:18,500 Hey, it's me. Don't hang up. 1211 01:30:19,588 --> 01:30:22,155 [Mrs. Dyer] If you check out, you come back by 8:00 PM. 1212 01:30:22,242 --> 01:30:25,028 If you come back by 8:00 PM, you take a test. 1213 01:30:25,158 --> 01:30:27,465 Anything you bring back will be searched. 1214 01:30:27,596 --> 01:30:29,293 Anything on the list will be confiscated. 1215 01:30:30,163 --> 01:30:31,643 That includes mouthwash. 1216 01:30:32,252 --> 01:30:34,385 Don't think we're not wise on mouthwash. 1217 01:30:39,216 --> 01:30:41,436 -[birds chirping] -[door clicks open] 1218 01:30:43,525 --> 01:30:46,441 -[engine roars] -[door clicks closed] 1219 01:30:53,622 --> 01:30:55,711 [serene music plays] 1220 01:30:55,798 --> 01:31:00,759 ♪ 1221 01:31:08,637 --> 01:31:11,335 [siren wailing in distance] 1222 01:31:20,126 --> 01:31:21,432 [bell rings] 1223 01:31:23,913 --> 01:31:24,783 We're closed. 1224 01:31:25,697 --> 01:31:26,611 That's okay. 1225 01:31:28,700 --> 01:31:29,832 I don't got any money. 1226 01:31:30,963 --> 01:31:32,095 I have somewhere to be. 1227 01:31:32,791 --> 01:31:33,879 Can't get caught up in you right now. 1228 01:31:33,966 --> 01:31:35,359 I'm not in any trouble. 1229 01:31:36,708 --> 01:31:38,797 Well, you know what I mean. 1230 01:31:42,714 --> 01:31:43,976 I heard you've been checking up on Nevaeh. 1231 01:31:46,152 --> 01:31:48,720 Yeah. I understand. 1232 01:31:49,765 --> 01:31:51,593 You're incognizant, you don't give a shit. 1233 01:31:52,768 --> 01:31:53,856 I have enough of my own problems to worry about. 1234 01:31:57,990 --> 01:31:59,209 I can't be your broken record. 1235 01:32:08,131 --> 01:32:09,219 [keys jingling] 1236 01:32:16,095 --> 01:32:17,532 Mari. 1237 01:32:26,236 --> 01:32:27,411 I got shoes on. 1238 01:32:43,558 --> 01:32:46,343 [engine roars] 1239 01:32:50,956 --> 01:32:52,436 [Chama] I keep thinking about Toaster. 1240 01:32:53,698 --> 01:32:54,569 What she told me. 1241 01:32:56,353 --> 01:32:58,398 We gotta fight until we fucking win. 1242 01:33:00,662 --> 01:33:02,577 [bus hissing] 1243 01:33:06,972 --> 01:33:08,800 [distorted music plays] 1244 01:33:08,887 --> 01:33:13,762 ♪ 1245 01:33:23,728 --> 01:33:26,035 [engine roars] 1246 01:33:26,165 --> 01:33:27,906 [Gata] Don't look at me like that. 1247 01:33:28,037 --> 01:33:29,386 [Shorty] She's taking a shit. She'll be-- 1248 01:33:29,516 --> 01:33:31,344 Where are you taking us Nick? Disneyland? 1249 01:33:31,475 --> 01:33:33,651 Yeah, right, I bet he's gonna take us to an NA meeting. 1250 01:33:33,782 --> 01:33:34,783 [Lucy] Yeah, I'd be down for that. 1251 01:33:34,913 --> 01:33:36,219 [Shorty] Come on. 1252 01:33:37,002 --> 01:33:38,177 -Let's go to Splash Mountain. -[Lucy] Yep, yep! 1253 01:33:38,308 --> 01:33:40,005 Come on, Gata. Smile for me. 1254 01:33:40,571 --> 01:33:42,878 Here's your smile, Shorty. 1255 01:33:43,008 --> 01:33:44,662 [Shorty] Don't be like that. Just one. Don't be like that! 1256 01:33:44,793 --> 01:33:46,577 All right. Everybody in. 1257 01:33:46,708 --> 01:33:47,883 [Shorty] Hey, what about Chama? 1258 01:33:48,013 --> 01:33:48,927 [Gata] Yeah, where's Chama at? 1259 01:33:49,449 --> 01:33:50,494 [car door slams shut] 1260 01:33:56,152 --> 01:33:57,109 [Lucy] It's fucking hot in here. 1261 01:33:59,808 --> 01:34:00,635 [Shorty] Come on, girl. 1262 01:34:04,769 --> 01:34:06,118 [Chama] I like the sun on my face. 1263 01:34:09,948 --> 01:34:12,516 It calms the pounding in my chest. 1264 01:34:13,952 --> 01:34:15,127 I wonder where we're going. 1265 01:34:18,217 --> 01:34:21,003 If Nick really gets it. 1266 01:34:21,133 --> 01:34:23,135 I told him the truth. 1267 01:34:23,266 --> 01:34:25,660 About the doctor. That I'm scared. 1268 01:34:25,834 --> 01:34:30,752 ♪ 1269 01:34:37,236 --> 01:34:39,021 The sun feels bright on my face. 1270 01:34:56,429 --> 01:34:57,517 [car door clattering] 1271 01:35:00,738 --> 01:35:02,609 Take this over Magic Kingdom. 1272 01:35:02,740 --> 01:35:04,524 Damn, this shit's no joke. 1273 01:35:08,311 --> 01:35:09,181 Come on, Lucy. 1274 01:35:13,098 --> 01:35:14,143 [car door slams shut] 1275 01:35:14,273 --> 01:35:16,711 [wind whooshing] 1276 01:35:48,612 --> 01:35:50,745 There are thousands of women that can't have kids. 1277 01:35:54,444 --> 01:35:55,750 And God's got jokes. 1278 01:36:00,885 --> 01:36:01,756 You want this baby? 1279 01:36:09,154 --> 01:36:10,765 But I don't deserve either of them. 1280 01:36:18,337 --> 01:36:20,209 My first boyfriend ended in assault. 1281 01:36:23,386 --> 01:36:24,474 Yeah, uh... 1282 01:36:27,042 --> 01:36:28,130 I wasn't the victim. 1283 01:36:35,702 --> 01:36:36,660 I was 18. 1284 01:36:37,748 --> 01:36:38,662 High. 1285 01:36:40,882 --> 01:36:42,927 Made a terrible decision, 1286 01:36:43,058 --> 01:36:45,930 ended up hurting the one person that I truly loved. 1287 01:36:52,371 --> 01:36:54,678 Spent some time locked up, hating myself. 1288 01:36:56,332 --> 01:36:57,812 Yeah, that never really goes away. 1289 01:37:01,990 --> 01:37:05,428 But if you can turn guilt, 1290 01:37:05,558 --> 01:37:07,082 hate into something else... 1291 01:37:12,478 --> 01:37:14,524 you can do something for the world 1292 01:37:14,654 --> 01:37:16,918 that's beyond yourself. 1293 01:37:17,005 --> 01:37:19,311 [wind whooshing] 1294 01:37:27,363 --> 01:37:28,668 We're at the bottom of a hill. 1295 01:37:30,496 --> 01:37:31,671 Can you climb? 1296 01:37:36,459 --> 01:37:38,983 [crickets chirping] 1297 01:37:52,170 --> 01:37:53,171 [knocking on door] 1298 01:37:55,347 --> 01:37:57,741 -[door clicks open] -[upbeat rock music plays] 1299 01:38:04,139 --> 01:38:05,880 [serene music plays] 1300 01:38:06,054 --> 01:38:10,667 ♪ 1301 01:38:42,264 --> 01:38:44,788 [indiscernible whispering] 1302 01:38:53,057 --> 01:38:54,145 [screaming] 1303 01:38:54,232 --> 01:38:56,191 [whispering continues] 1304 01:39:01,892 --> 01:39:03,415 [sighs] 1305 01:39:03,546 --> 01:39:06,418 [whispering continues] 1306 01:39:06,505 --> 01:39:11,902 ♪ 1307 01:39:21,346 --> 01:39:23,958 [panting] 1308 01:39:32,879 --> 01:39:35,143 [both panting] 1309 01:39:44,282 --> 01:39:45,153 The 15th. 1310 01:39:47,416 --> 01:39:48,286 Next Friday. 1311 01:39:51,246 --> 01:39:52,334 You'll get to see your daughter. 1312 01:39:52,464 --> 01:39:55,250 [both panting] 1313 01:40:08,089 --> 01:40:11,005 [shouting] 1314 01:40:12,180 --> 01:40:15,183 [Gata panting] 1315 01:40:29,588 --> 01:40:31,199 [Chama] My name isn't really Chama. 1316 01:40:34,506 --> 01:40:37,335 I saw this postcard once of a mother and daughter 1317 01:40:37,466 --> 01:40:39,468 standing outside Chama, New Mexico. 1318 01:40:41,383 --> 01:40:43,037 I wanted to live in that postcard. 1319 01:40:48,172 --> 01:40:49,043 I talk to my mom. 1320 01:40:51,784 --> 01:40:52,872 And tell her things... 1321 01:40:54,265 --> 01:40:55,440 but not in real life... 1322 01:40:56,311 --> 01:40:58,052 because this reality took her away. 1323 01:41:02,360 --> 01:41:04,580 I talk to her, because I got to try 1324 01:41:04,710 --> 01:41:06,190 to understand my scars... 1325 01:41:08,279 --> 01:41:09,933 and not just pick at my scabs. 1326 01:41:18,637 --> 01:41:19,899 I've been through a lot of shit. 1327 01:41:22,641 --> 01:41:24,252 I've put people through... 1328 01:41:25,688 --> 01:41:26,863 a lot more. 1329 01:41:29,735 --> 01:41:30,867 It's not fair. 1330 01:41:33,870 --> 01:41:35,089 But like Nick says... 1331 01:41:37,178 --> 01:41:38,092 "Nothing is fair... 1332 01:41:39,484 --> 01:41:40,355 nothing is normal." 1333 01:41:45,838 --> 01:41:46,926 What have I done? 1334 01:41:50,626 --> 01:41:51,583 What am I doing? 1335 01:41:55,152 --> 01:41:56,240 If I'm not Chama, then... 1336 01:41:59,374 --> 01:42:00,462 who am I? 1337 01:42:00,984 --> 01:42:03,117 [wind whooshing] 1338 01:42:15,564 --> 01:42:16,391 I'm an addict. 1339 01:42:21,309 --> 01:42:22,484 I've slept on the streets, but... 1340 01:42:24,399 --> 01:42:25,487 I'm not homeless. 1341 01:42:29,578 --> 01:42:31,232 I'm terrified. 1342 01:42:31,362 --> 01:42:33,625 [soft string instrumental plays] 1343 01:42:37,760 --> 01:42:38,848 We need help. 1344 01:42:41,111 --> 01:42:41,981 I will help. 1345 01:42:42,156 --> 01:42:47,291 ♪ 1346 01:42:53,732 --> 01:42:54,646 I'm here... 1347 01:42:55,821 --> 01:42:56,996 and I will be a mother. 1348 01:42:59,608 --> 01:43:00,435 I am a mother. 1349 01:43:00,609 --> 01:43:05,614 ♪ 1350 01:43:19,541 --> 01:43:21,456 [door creaks open] 1351 01:43:21,586 --> 01:43:24,198 [serene music plays] 1352 01:43:24,285 --> 01:43:29,203 ♪ 1353 01:43:42,303 --> 01:43:45,219 [sobbing] 1354 01:43:53,444 --> 01:43:54,445 [sniffs] 1355 01:43:54,532 --> 01:43:59,407 ♪ 1356 01:44:13,334 --> 01:44:14,552 [soft music plays] 1357 01:44:14,726 --> 01:44:19,688 ♪ 1358 01:44:19,818 --> 01:44:21,255 [sighs] 1359 01:44:47,585 --> 01:44:50,458 [bus engine winds down] 1360 01:44:53,852 --> 01:44:55,245 [bus doors open] 1361 01:44:55,376 --> 01:44:58,292 [engine revs] 1362 01:45:05,255 --> 01:45:08,780 [music intensifies] 1363 01:45:27,408 --> 01:45:31,542 [singing in Spanish] 1364 01:45:31,716 --> 01:45:36,678 ♪ 1365 01:46:03,182 --> 01:46:06,969 ♪ Flower of the flowers flowers from above ♪ 1366 01:46:07,143 --> 01:46:11,539 ♪ Today and forever, know you have my love ♪ 1367 01:46:11,713 --> 01:46:15,586 ♪ Flower of the flowers flowers from above ♪ 1368 01:46:15,760 --> 01:46:19,764 ♪ Today and forever, know you have my love ♪ 1369 01:46:19,895 --> 01:46:21,636 [singing in Spanish] 1370 01:46:21,810 --> 01:46:26,815 ♪ 1371 01:47:33,403 --> 01:47:34,926 -[woman] Love you, Peggy. -[girl] Love you, Mama. 1372 01:47:37,015 --> 01:47:39,931 ["I Remember You" by Weedrat plays] 1373 01:47:49,811 --> 01:47:54,555 ♪ You came into my life ♪ 1374 01:47:56,252 --> 01:48:01,257 ♪[indistinct lyrics] ♪ 1375 01:48:02,867 --> 01:48:08,046 ♪ Like you've always been ♪ 1376 01:48:08,220 --> 01:48:13,269 ♪ By my side ♪ 1377 01:48:15,880 --> 01:48:22,234 ♪ I remember you I remember you ♪ 1378 01:48:22,408 --> 01:48:27,979 ♪ I remember you I remember you ♪ 1379 01:48:28,153 --> 01:48:33,507 ♪ All right ♪ 1380 01:48:34,638 --> 01:48:39,513 ♪ All right ♪ 1381 01:48:42,951 --> 01:48:46,998 ♪ Came into my life ♪ 1382 01:48:49,000 --> 01:48:55,616 ♪ And it became clear to me ♪ 1383 01:48:55,703 --> 01:49:00,577 ♪ Like you've always been ♪ 1384 01:49:00,751 --> 01:49:05,887 ♪ By my side ♪ 1385 01:49:08,716 --> 01:49:15,157 ♪ I remember you I remember you ♪ 1386 01:49:15,331 --> 01:49:20,815 ♪ I remember you I remember you ♪ 1387 01:49:20,902 --> 01:49:25,689 ♪ All right ♪ 1388 01:49:27,691 --> 01:49:30,825 ♪ All right ♪ 1389 01:49:30,999 --> 01:49:35,917 ♪ 1390 01:50:01,029 --> 01:50:06,469 ♪ You came into my life ♪ 1391 01:50:08,123 --> 01:50:14,695 ♪ And it became clear to me ♪ 1392 01:50:14,869 --> 01:50:20,831 ♪ That you'd always be ♪ 1393 01:50:21,005 --> 01:50:26,402 ♪ By my side ♪ 1394 01:50:29,013 --> 01:50:35,629 ♪ I remember you I remember you ♪ 1395 01:50:35,803 --> 01:50:41,112 ♪ I remember you I remember you ♪ 1396 01:50:41,286 --> 01:50:46,335 ♪ All right ♪ 1397 01:50:48,337 --> 01:50:52,646 ♪ All right ♪ 1398 01:50:55,126 --> 01:50:59,740 ♪ All right ♪ 1399 01:51:07,182 --> 01:51:09,097 [music ends]