[ Billie Eilish's "Therefore I Am" playing ]
Downloaded from YTS.MX
♪♪♪♪♪♪
Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX
♪♪ I'm not your friend or anything, damn ♪♪
♪♪ You think that you're the man ♪♪
♪♪ I think, therefore I am ♪♪
♪♪ I'm not your friend or anything, damn ♪♪
♪♪ You think that you're the man ♪♪
♪♪ I think, therefore I am ♪♪
It's very hard for a woman who has been brought up to be
sweet and clingy to stand up in front of 2,500 people
and say, "Okay, now listen to me."
You have really a tremendous sense of power
when you're standing up and commanding them
to listen to you.
You must be a very strong woman.
♪♪♪♪♪♪
Women have always been in comedy.
♪♪ Stop, what the hell are you talking about? ♪♪
But now we're at such a critical mass
that we can't ignore that women are hilarious
and making content that everybody wants to consume.
♪♪ Don't talk ♪♪
♪♪'Bout me like how you might know how I feel ♪♪
♪♪ Top of the world, but your world isn't real ♪♪
It's not about talking like men or talking about the stuff
that they talk about.
It's about our experience, and that is as valid as theirs.
Women have an advantage in stand‐up comedy.
It's 'cause we've been dabbling in our feelings
for far longer than men have,
and so that's why we're killing the game right now.
♪♪ I'm not your friend or anything, damn ♪♪
♪♪ You think that you're the man ♪♪
♪♪ I think, therefore I am ♪♪
♪♪ I'm not your friend or anything, damn ♪♪
♪♪ You think that you're the man ♪♪
♪♪ I think, therefore I am ♪♪
[ electricity buzzing ]
[ horns honking ]
[ siren wailing in distance ]
[ horns continue honking]
Did I tell you the one time I was in the bathroom there?
And I'd just gotten offstage and I had, like,
not a great set 'cause it was trying new stuff.
And, um, this girl walked in with her friend.
She goes, "I love the girl that's on now,
but that last girl‐‐" and I just go,
"Please don't finish the sentence!
I'm the girl! I'm the girl!"
And the girl goes‐‐she stopped, and she's like,
"Oh, my God. I'm so sorry," which made me realize
that she was gonna say something bad.
But, um, she was like, "I'm so sorry,"
and I go, "It's okay. Just don't‐‐We‐‐We‐‐We are‐‐"
I go, "We walk amongst you."
♪♪♪♪♪♪
‐ How have you been? ‐ Good. How are you?
Wonderful. Good to see you.
‐ This is my girlfriend, Elysa. ‐ How you doing tonight, Elysa?
♪♪♪♪♪♪
Almost every famous comic started here.
Where should we go? Do you wanna go back to the table?
[ indistinct conversations ]
This is the infamous Comics Table.
We'd all eat dinner together and, you know, tell jokes
and bust with each other.
I always hook up my phone
and, like, take him through my funniest friends.
‐ You're on there all the time. ‐ That's awesome.
‐ You'll get there. And, um‐‐ ‐ [ laughter ]
‐ Keep submitting. ‐ What I strive for.
There's also a ton of camaraderie here.
The Stand is like that in New York,
and Comedy Store in L. A. and The Improv.
Like, every‐‐there's certain clubs where people
really become family and close and hang out.
How are you? Good to see you. Good.
On the road and in a lot of other clubs,
it's very hard for women to get stage time.
So this is where you end up
after you get all that stage time
and you can prove yourself.
Oh, here's Nikki's. I don't have my glasses on.
"This is my favorite place. Thank you."
Oh, and Marina.
Here's Lisa Lampanelli.
Here's Carmen.
[ cheers and applause ]
The very first time I performed onstage was for two minutes,
and right then, I felt like I just got married
and had a baby. Like, I'm like, this is what I wanna do.
I never felt that way about anything.
What does that even mean, "awkwardly hot"?
I've never even heard those two words put together.
How do you even say "thank you" to "awkwardly hot"?
‐ [ laughter ] ‐ Like, thanks.
[ laughter ]
I love stand‐up.
The joy I get from getting onstage
and being able to take people on a journey
to a place where they forget what they're going through.
And I'll bet you, you get up at 23,
and you just, "Mm! Ah! Ah! Ah!"
I can't do that 'cause that last egg just fell when I...
[ laughter ]
It's mostly people's biggest fear
to get up in front of others and try to make them laugh.
I told my mother when I was 14 I wanted to be a comedian,
and she said... [ imitating Korean accent ]
"Oh, maybe it's better if you just die."
[ laughter ]
But for me, when I was starting out,
I was very different, very young,
and so I had to also convince people
that I had something important to say.
[ cheers and applause ]
They always show me doing stand‐up,
and then the camera goes out in the audience
and looks for the Asians in the audience.
[ laughter ]
"Look at them in their natural habitat."
[ laughter ]
Genetics didn't work out for me,
so that's why I am a comic.
I figured my options were comedian, softball coach,
or UPS driver. ‐ [ laughter ]
The beauty of comedy is that I have a voice and a microphone,
and I can just go out there and do my thing.
I picked comedy 'cause I don't look good in brown.
[ laughter ]
You have the mic. It's‐‐It's‐‐It's your turn.
I was the weird kid. I was just, like, awkward.
You know, like, one of my breasts grew before the other.
I had, like, a starter tit,
which is not a hot look for a girl.
I have control, and I'm a storyteller,
so I get to tell my tale.
I was like, really? Okay. And then he goes...
[ deep voice ] "Little boys think that tits matter,
but adult men know that ass matters. That's all."
[ laughter ]
I'm like, "But you're 14."
[ laughter ]
Crafting a joke
and feeling that energy where knowing in your gut,
I just delivered this high,
and now I have to say something deeper,
or I said this fast, and I said this part slower.
It'll be funnier. It's melodic, almost.
Girls have a more insidious kind of crazy.
Sometimes we'll start a fight with you
just to see if we can make it look like you started the fight.
[ laughter ]
Every girl's done that,
just to see how strong your powers are.
It's almost like singing, like you can just riff
and knowing energy‐wise that you can take them anywhere.
"Stop it. I don't wanna fight with you."
But in your girl head, you're like...
[ deep, hearty guffawing ]
[ deep voice ] I wanna fight with you.
[ laughter ]
The best experience onstage
is when the whole room is with you,
and you feel like you're truly sharing a story
that they can connect with.
"Strong Black woman"‐‐that never felt like a compliment.
That always felt like work.
‐ [ laughter ] ‐ So it was like,
"Hey, what you doing on Saturday?
I got this heavy couch. I need a strong Black woman."
[ laughter ]
I used to be like, ugh, when comedians would, like,
pat themselves on the back or like,
"We are the last bastion of free speech,"
and it's like, no, we kind of are.
Naked pictures‐‐I send those, and I shouldn't.
I shouldn't. The cloud is not secure.
But, like, neither am I, and I need constant validation.
When someone tells me I can't talk about something,
I just, like, wanna do it more.
I love "The Sixth Sense," though.
I love‐‐and the ending, when the guy came in my eye,
and I didn't have to watch the rest of it, that was great.
[ laughter ]
In stand‐up, there is no one telling us what to do.
[ faint laughter ]
What is it that beats inside the heart and soul of a comedian
that makes you want to make people laugh,
that makes you want to stand upstage alone?
Damage. [ laughing ]
No. [ laughing ] I'm sorry.
Um...no, I don't know.
Yeah, there's probably a little piece of a lot of us
that is filling some sort of void, right?
[ indistinct conversations ]
Where are you guys from?
Here? Okay, what do you do?
You're a social w‐‐ That's probably why
you've been laughing so hard. ‐ [ laughter ]
Yeah, my mother's a therapist, too.
Yeah, it's incredible.
She saw clients in the basement of my house my entire life,
so I had to be quiet. She'd be like,
"Judy's coming today, and she's having a really hard time.
"So I'm gonna need you to be quiet upstairs,
'cause Judy needs help. Judy's really struggling."
Ju‐‐ [ laughs ] I'm like, "Well, I just ate six pizzas...
and started cutting, but good luck to Judy."
[ laughter ]
Okay, um...
I say this onstage as a joke,
but, like, people start clapping.
I'm like, no matter how much you clap,
it'll never fill the hole.
Like, we're just trying to fill this hole
and get the attention that we've always wanted
that we can't get.
I think it really goes back to childhood
and just always wanting to be seen and heard
and not feeling acknowledged.
I was not a happy kid.
My parents weren't happy together, and, you know,
my father would be, like, tough on me,
so I just kept thinking I'm bad, I'm wrong.
I used to fight boys every day after school,
and I would normally not win.
I was very tomboyish,
no interest in dolls, really tall.
I got teased from the minute I got up
to the minute I came home from school.
6'3". I'm very tall. That is kinda tall.
Actually, I reached this height‐‐
I was about 13 years old, which was horrible,
'cause I'd walk down the halls in grammar school.
Everyone called me "Sasquatch" and everything, right?
‐ I didn't know what to do. ‐ [ laughter ]
Yeah, thanks a lot.
Then I'd go home to my mother.
I'd be like, "Mom, all the kids are teasing me in school.
I don't know what to do." She'd say to me...
[ sighs heavily ]
"Judith, don't worry about it. They're jealous of you.
"Go upstairs and put on your father's clothes.
"Leave me alone. Get away from me.
I can't stand your pain." ‐ [ laughter ]
Yeah, I got bullied a lot. We moved‐‐
my family‐‐ my dad moved my family
to the suburbs of Chicago.
So there wasn't many Black people,
and it was very prejudiced, so, you know,
I got called the "N" word all the time.
I didn't like to fight. I didn't like confrontation.
So I was always the one that came in
and tried to make people laugh.
But I didn't know what I wanted to do.
My family felt I should play it safe,
get something where you don't get fired.
So I chose to be a legal secretary.
This is like eons ago.
I come from a very traditional family.
I grew up in Spain and moved to the states
when I was 8, and I was very shy
'cause I would say things incorrectly,
and then someone would laugh. Like, I would just be like,
well, I'm not gonna speak up then.
To my family, I was a very strange person.
I liked things they didn't like.
I found humor in things that they didn't find funny.
They were very hard‐working.
We grew up on a farm.
For a long time, we didn't have running water.
I, uh, I'm from Canada. I grew up on a farm there,
and I live in here but, you know,
everyone back home's always like,
"Hey, don't go Hollywood."
I'm like, I wanna go Hollywood, you know?
‐ [ laughter ] ‐ I wanna have it all.
I wanna have a convertible, a car phone, a drug addiction.
[ laughter ]
I just have to get a convertible.
[ laughter ]
I am this close.
Everyone assumes you're kind of the class clown that's, like,
"Look at me, look at me."
But I was a cautious kid.
My mom said I would always look both ways
before crossing the street.
So it's weird that I ended up in this job that has
such a lack of stability,
and you're having to take risks all the time.
I grew up in the suburbs of Dallas, Texas,
for many years, with, like, a single mom.
And I moved schools a lot,
so I definitely never felt like I fit in,
especially growing up in Dallas, Texas.
Like, all the girls had bangs. They were perfect, Christian.
And then it was, like, me.
You did wear an eye patch as a child.
‐ I did. ‐ I know that about you.
I had something called amblyopia.
‐ Right. ‐ Which affects a lot of people.
‐ Really? ‐ And so I had an eye patch,
and then I had a special one that went over my glasses.
‐ Oh, no. ‐ I went to a private school.
In private school, like, no one makes fun of anyone
because it's‐‐ 'cause public school,
it's like, "Yeah! You know, think fast, nerd."
‐ Right. ‐ And in private school,
it's like, "We don't know how rich your parents are,
so let's err on the side of caution."
[ laughter and applause ]
I was, like, an emergency moron in school.
Like, I mean, they didn't know what to do.
There was a lot of meetings about me, just like Ds, Fs.
They were just like, "Uh, yeah, she's‐‐
I mean, we don't know why she's dumb."
I loved voices. I loved affectations
and how people speak, so since I was little,
I would get attention that way.
But I couldn't learn.
I couldn't stuff information in my brain,
so I moved to New York when I was 17
with this guy and his band called Dick Sister.
All I knew is that I really loved stand‐up comedy.
I love the artform and I knew that I was
meant to do it in some capacity.
But there was no real aspirations
of stardom or success, 'cause I'd never seen
Asian Americans do that, and I'd never seen,
really, that many women doing that.
You know, maybe I would get to open for a big star
when they came into San Francisco.
Maybe I could be a weatherwoman in the local news.
I think I had a good childhood, my mother asked me to tell you.
Um, no, but I had, like, a lemonade stand
with a 2‐drink minimum.
I was clinically depressed.
For me, personally, it was that
it didn't seem like I made a difference.
It gave me an identity to be the funny one.
Wendy Liebman, ladies and gentlemen.
Let's talk about your coming up.
How was St. Louis growing up?
It was great. It was‐‐ I had the best childhood.
‐ I l‐‐ Yeah. ‐ Really?
Well, something's wrong already. Hang on.
‐ Okay. ‐ Cannot compute.
Did you say you had a sister that you‐‐
Yeah, I had a really beautiful sister.
Was that why you started searching for ways
to get attention and found comedy?
Yeah, I had buck teeth and no value,
and so I was like, I have to come up with something.
Here we are in our condo. Kids watching TV.
It's the best talk show ever.
I loved Hollywood, and I loved models,
and I wanted to be them.
Like, I just knew when I was a kid,
like, that I was gonna make it happen somehow.
[ giggles ]
But then I realized I wasn't as pretty as my sister
and that the pretty girls were getting the roles
in the plays.
Mmm.
Everywhere my mom took us, people would stop my mom
and be like, "This child needs to be a model"
about my sister, and I would literally, like,
creep from behind my mom's legs like Nosferatu,
like, "What should I be?" [ laughter ]
Just waiting.
And what about me?
What's my future hold?
I had a therapist. She used to yell at me
and be like, "You're not a beauty.
"You're average‐looking, and it's enough,
and it's fine." ‐ Oh, my God.
Yeah, she was really, really harsh.
‐ Oh, my God. ‐ I've had some bad therapists.
‐ I go to therapy, too. ‐ [ laughter ]
I have to.
Mine is very expensive, too. I actually told her.
I said, "You know, you're too expensive.
I don't think I can afford you."
And she just looked at me, and she said,
"Let's talk about why that is."
[ laughter ]
I grew up in Chicago, Highland Park,
which is a very white neighborhood.
They weren't racist at my school,
but when I went to camp, it was really bad.
They would say things like, "She's‐‐Her skin's dirty."
You know, "She looks like she smells."
They would say awful, awful things on the bus.
Bus driver never said anything.
Back then, you just had to learn how to live with it,
and one of the ways I did was by being funny.
I didn't know that I had a thing for comedy.
I had no idea.
My mother was a big yeller. She was‐‐had a lot of rage.
She had these rageful attacks when we were growing up,
and I think I was that middle child
who could make Mom laugh to defuse the tension in the house.
Looking at this head, it reminds me to go home
and clean my dildo.
[ laughter ]
[ snorts ] That's not true. Mine's black. Anyway...
So I as a comic was doing jokes to shut everybody up
before they get to me.
Wait a minute. You're Hispanic?
Oh, my God. You look so employed.
[ laughter ]
I'm pretty sure 90% of my stuff is all these insults
making fun of the audience.
I'm glad you people like me because my mother hates me.
[ laughter ]
In my own family,
I've always known laughter to be the most healing thing.
Everyone in the family has touched trauma in some way.
It's mostly not something we talk about.
So we choose to laugh at funerals.
We choose to laugh when somebody's getting divorced.
Someone has the job to make things funny.
We look to that person, and it helps.
And I made a choice to be that person in my family.
A lot of people tell me
that I look really skinny as a compliment pretty frequently.
They often wanna know the secret to how I maintain this figure,
and, uh...secret is definitely Irritable Bowel Syndrome...
‐ [ laughter ] ‐ ...onset by severe stress
and trauma, so... [ laughs ]
I guess a lot of people want a skinny girlfriend,
but no one wants to know how the sausage gets made, so...
[ laughter ]
Fine.
[ applause ]
♪♪♪♪♪♪
Jerry, who are your favorite female comedians?
My favorite female comedian was Cary Grant.
[ laughter ]
I cannot sit and watch a lady diminish her qualities
to the lowest common denominator.
I just can't do that.
You know what you look like normally?
You look like the lady that looks in the fun mirror
at the Palisades Park.
‐ [ laughter ] ‐ Short and fat.
But you're regular like that. Did you ever notice?
I look in the mirror. I see Raquel Welch.
‐ [ laughter ] ‐ I swear!
She's staying with you?
No, I got a picture of her in my mirror.
[ laughter ]
You're different from other girls.
That's what you think.
You're smarter. You're almost like a man.
As a little kid, I really didn't understand, like,
why does he get to do that, and I have to do this?
Just 'cause he's a boy?
Like, I was really floored by that.
MALE NARRATOR: Carol took a general home economics course,
one which fitted her for that very important career
of being Mrs. Johnson.
She was glad that her college training
had prepared her so well for home life.
The idea of what femininity is,
and in a lot of people's minds, still is,
is dainty, quiet, ladylike.
You learn the most ladylike thing
is to shut your fucking mouth
and not have an opinion and whatever your husband says.
And here were these women comics who were like,
"Don't tell me what I can say. Don't tell me what I can do.
Go fuck yourself."
[ applause ]
[ laughs ]
Thank you, children. Thank you, darling.
I know you children are all relaxed back there,
sitting back there, looking at Moms.
You think you're going to hear some jokes, don't you?
Well, Moms don't know none.
Moms don't know no jokes, but I can tell you some facts.
Moms Mabley‐‐I admire her on so many levels
because she, in order to really get out there and tell her truth
and for people to‐‐ for it to be palatable
to an audience, she had to dress like an old woman.
She was very opinionated, but in order for them
to accept what she had to say, she had to be an old woman.
What do they call‐‐Do they call you Jackie down there or Moms?
I've never known. It's Jackie?
No, they like me down there to tell the truth.
Yeah.
They named me Roy Rogers' horse.
‐ Trigger? ‐ Trigger, yeah.
That's what they call you in the South?
Yeah. Everywhere I go, "Hello, Trigger!
What you say, Trigger?"
At least I think that's what they said.
[ laughter ]
In the beginning, it was a lot of people
that people don't know about‐‐ Totie Fields, Belle Barth.
Sophie Tucker, Jean Carroll,
who doesn't get enough credit at all
for being one of the first female stand‐ups.
When I said, "And I'll buy something in satin
to match my eyes," she said,
"We have no bloodshot satin in stock."
[ laughter ]
Well, I said, "If you don't mind,
I'd like to bring my husband down and have him look at it."
She says, "Jenny, look who's married."
[ laughter ]
You go back and look at all‐‐ women would get onstage,
acknowledge that they're pieces of shit,
and then go, "Okay, so here are my jokes."
It was like, "Hi. I know I'm a woman.
"I know I should be home with my kids
"so I'm going to acknowledge that and then,
can you listen to my jokes, please?"
But look, I love my work. I really do.
Of course, it's scary. The lights scare me to death.
Boy, you see they're so bright. Like, when I was a housewife,
if I ever had this much light on me,
when I woke up, I had another kid.
[ laughter ]
Isn't that amazing?
Or...
[ laughter ]
Well...
I can't even imagine doing stand‐up at that time.
I‐I don't even know how these women did it.
Well, here's my daffy little friend.
Our daffy little friend. My little pixie friend.
Little Joan Rivers.
[ applause ]
♪♪♪♪♪♪
I loved Joan so much.
Here's this brash Jewish woman on television with opinions.
Well, it's all sex. That magazine, you know,
the lead article‐‐ "How to use your breasts
to get a better apartment," and it's like, you know...
[ laughter ]
Ding‐dong.
[ laughter ]
She was hysterical.
You know, on a show with the whitest guy in the universe,
like, Nebraska, making him laugh.
I had no idea where you were going there.
‐ [ laughter ] ‐ You‐‐You always amaze me.
It was like, oh, that's‐‐ that's what I wanna be.
♪♪♪♪♪♪
I saw Wanda onstage in college,
and she was the first Black woman
that reminded me of myself.
I was like, "I can do this."
Now you see, that's love right there.
I remember doing improv in high school,
and the boys would always grab the mic first,
and I remember thinking, like, "You motherfucker,
"I'm gonna do this for a living,
so quit hogging the mic with your garbage jokes."
It never occurred to me, like,
I'm a girl. I can't get up there.
I didn't wanna do stand‐up.
I didn't think I was a good performer,
but I love writing jokes.
So on my 23rd birthday, I booked myself on an open mic,
and I went down.
I was just frozen with fear.
I was not fulfilled.
I had such low self‐worth. My mom was very sick,
'cause I had a sister that was on drugs.
I just wasn't happy.
Just feeling frustration,
like I'd just shut everything down.
It's almost like it just filled up so much
that I was, like, I need to speak.
My voice has to come out.
Carmen Lynch, everybody.
[ cheers and applause ]
It was a huge step for me.
Sometimes I'm shocked that I did it.
I did really well. I was like...
this is my calling, and then, uh,
you know, the next 400 times I bombed pretty badly.
The first time I got offstage when I was 18,
I called my dad and was like, "I know what I wanna do
"for all‐‐forever,
and I'm gonna do it, and this is it."
We were both crying on the phone because I was anorexic.
I was still, like, battling the illness.
It was like, finally, something that's gonna get me
to figure out how to beat this.
I was like 28, and I went onstage,
and I killed, and it was the best feeling in the world.
I was like, this is where I need to be.
[ applause ]
My life was craziness and chaos, but once I got on that stage,
it was like life was all good.
It was a peace that settled over me.
I started at the Comedy Store performing at 1 in the morning
for four drunk guys, and it sucked,
but I liked that challenge of having to be
in the middle of Hollywood.
There's alcohol. There's cynicism.
And I'm like, "I'm gonna make you laugh.
"I'm gonna figure it out.
"I might not make you laugh tonight,
but I'm gonna make you laugh tomorrow night."
[ cheers and applause ]
[ laughter ]
♪♪♪♪♪♪
There's the dream, there's the fantasy,
and then there's the reality check.
I had never understood sexism
until I got into the comedy scene.
[ faint laughter ]
Yeah, I'm not gonna guide any lady through comedy.
That would take me, uh, first of all,
I'd have to figure out how a lady could do comedy.
‐ [ laughter ] ‐ You know?
And then I'd have to...
‐ [ laughter continues ] ‐ Wow!
‐ There was no‐‐ ‐ Easy, Jerry Lewis.
Stand‐up comedy's a different kind of thing,
for some reason. ‐ Yeah. Yes.
Why do you think it is that guys are only funny in that?
‐ What is it? ‐ Artie?
‐ [ laughter ] ‐ I don't‐‐I mean,
I just think that it's a man's world, you know?
‐ I, uh, I‐I‐I don't, uh‐‐ ‐ Is that the answer, though?
‐ Yeah, that's‐‐ ‐ Can that be the answer?
It's a man's world?
Still, to this day, you hear over and over and over,
"Women aren't funny. Women aren't funny."
It's ridiculous!
There are funny men and funny women.
But I do understand that men might not want women to be funny.
‐ [ applause ] ‐ Wow, San Francisco.
People are so friendly here. I was on the cable car,
and this guy offered me a seat on his lap, and...
[ laughter ]
Then he got off, but I‐I was gonna, um...
[ laughter ]
What? It was his stop.
Where do you think that idea
that women aren't funny came from?
I thought we weren't gonna talk about this question.
We're not gonna talk about the fact
that women aren't funny 'cause they are,
but where do you think the idea came from?
It's not what I think. It's what I know.
And the answer is men have always
gotten to do things first,
whether it's owning property
or having freedom of speech or anything fun,
and expressing yourselves, men got to do it first.
So by sheer numbers,
more men have been doing comedy for longer
because women for so long were expected to stay home,
have children, and then die.
‐ That's pretty harsh. ‐ Well, so's your coffee.
So it's not that women aren't funny.
Women weren't allowed to express themselves,
and they weren't allowed to do it on a larger platform.
I'm Lila, and I‐I don't know what I'm doing.
Way too often, I would hear,
"Oh, we had a woman here three months ago.
She didn't do well, so we're not booking women at this time."
It used to be like if you were doing shows, like,
even up to the '90s,
comedians would bring on a female comedian,
and they would say, "Okay, we got a woman,"
and people would go, "Ugh!" Like, how dare you? [ laughs ]
Sometimes they would put their head on, they just...
put their head right down on the table and not watch you.
There's always this guy at every show that I do‐‐
the arms folded, like, "You ain't gonna be funny
'cause you a bitch" guy.
[ laughter ]
Now, sir, I know you have your arms folded the whole time.
No, no, no, no. No, shut up. No, he's great.
He's laughed at every single joke.
The arms folded was just to separate the tits from the gut.
‐ I get it. ‐ [ laughter ]
Tit sweat is a bitch. I've been a victim of it myself.
You'll see the evolvement through the show
where they're like this and...
then like, 10 minutes later, they're like this.
And then by the end of the show, they're like...
They will be the first ones in the meet and greet line,
being like, "I didn't wanna come tonight.
I thought this was gonna be garbage."
"I usually hate female comics, but you're good."
Still have Facebook messages from, like, 2010,
like, "Women aren't funny, but I think you are."
I'm like, "Thanks, Mom." [ laughs ]
‐ [ applause ] ‐ Okay, here we go.
Now we're gonna break it up with a lovely young lady.
Really, she's funny, she's lovely,
and she's a good girl, too.
‐ [ laughter ] ‐ I found that out.
This next comic, you're gonna love her.
She's very good. She's gorgeous.
"We got little lady coming up here.
"I'll tell you what, she's funny as a man.
I mean it. Give her a hand." ‐ [ cheers and applause ]
I've been intro'd,
like the fact that I'm a woman is like a wacky experiment.
They'll be like, "We got a young lady coming up!"
You know, like, "Let's see how this goes down."
I think we should start doing it about men.
"Oh, this next guy coming to the stage‐‐
his balls are bigger than you've ever seen in your whole life."
"Yeah. You guys ready for some big balls?"
‐ "Oh, you guys like testicles?" ‐ Yeah, like especially‐‐
'Cause this guy's got two of 'em...
Right.
‐ ...as far as we know. ‐ Right.
I think it's indisputable that there has been a pipeline
where there was a time when it seemed like
there really was only room for one.
If there was two women back to back on a lineup,
they would be like, "Oh, we just had a woman on,"
so we're gonna put a guy on, and then we're gonna put you on."
They would say that to your face.
It's not redundant because you have two people
of the same race or sex on back to back,
but they would openly say that to you.
It's like, "Oh, we can't go vag, vag."
Um, God forbid. We can go dick, dick, dick, dick, dick,
but we can't do two vages in a row.
That would confuse everyone.
Okay, hold on, hold on. It's a night of honesty.
Where are the straight guys who were dragged
by the wife or girlfriend?
[ cheering ]
Yes! I know. I'm sorry, sir.
I don't speak your language. I'm sorry. I...
[ laughter ]
I speak fluent gay. I took two years in high school,
and it just stuck. ‐ [ cheers and applause ]
As I started doing stand‐up more,
I would see a lot of other female comedians,
but I have to be honest.
90% of them just aren't even in the business anymore.
You know, there's all these ways that we control each other,
and to an extent, we do that still as women to one another.
It was hard to like another woman
because you felt threatened by, you know, only one person
is gonna get the job.
I was bullied by a female comic really early on,
like, so bad that I had to, like, kinda leave town,
like, my home club of‐‐ in St. Louis,
and she was so funny, and I looked up to her so much,
and all I wanted was her approval.
[ laughter ]
Girls hate each other, especially during the day.
But when the moon comes up, and there's white wine involved,
[ nasally voice ] "Oh, my God. Stacy, you look amazing.
"I love you. Can I just tell you?
"I love you. I do. But you know who I hate?
[ deep voice ] Becky."
[ laughter ]
Yeah, the competition thing, I mean, you know,
we got this one slot. We need one woman!
Networks, too. I will never forget pitching a show
to a network and them saying to me,
"We already have, like, a blonde funny woman."
And I was just, like, "Okay, I'll dye my hair red.
Like, what are you talking about?"
♪♪♪♪♪♪
[ horn honks in distance ]
♪♪♪♪♪♪
You basically go up five, seven nights a week
for free at anyplace that has a coffee shop, a laundromat,
a fuckin' noodle place, whatever, and practice.
The open mics I used to do in this city,
I worked in a supermarket where people would be checking out.
And it was like, "Hey, wow, you got relish."
Like, it was horrible," and we didn't get paid,
but we got to have the salad bar downstairs.
I moved to L. A., and I was like, "How do I get stage time?"
And I would contact comics that had shows,
and I'd be like, "Can I make your flyers?
Can I jump on?"
Did you guys see this?
Oh, I didn't know it was gonna be a thing.
How you guys doing? That's weird. Okay.
Got off work at, like, 6, and I'd wait till, like, 8,
and I'd go to the bar and I'd eat my sad chicken finger dinner
and I'd wait for my spot, which was at, like, 9:30.
And then you'd go get another one,
and then you would just cobble together
any spots you could get.
You'd drive to Santa Barbara on a work night,
because someone would give you 20 minutes.
Just kind of figuring it out without realizing
what the limitations could be
or anything like that. Just going.
When I came up, if you weren't performing every night,
then you weren't serious about it.
You were always told, "There's no excuse.
"Do not use being Black as an excuse.
"Do not use being a woman as an excuse.
You need to be good at this."
I mean, I do realize as a Black woman,
which is how I start every conversation, um...
[ laughter ]
I do realize it is my job to address what's in the air,
but, um, I have to be honest. I'm not good at it.
I say things wrong.
Like, I've been messing up on my pronouns lately,
'cause I met someone who was not a guy or a girl.
They were a they, which is how they wanna be referred to,
and that's important.
I care about that. It's just new to me.
And in a sentence structurally...
it makes me sound like a runaway slave.
[ laughter ]
Like, "Where they at?"
[ laughter ]
"They's coming?"
[ laughter ]
"They down by the river?"
[ laughter ]
"They gon' be mad at that joke."
[ laughter ]
Some people are lucky. They find their voice in, like, 10 years.
But you can't do that unless you feel comfortable onstage,
and you can't feel comfortable onstage unless you do it
every fucking night.
Did it feel like an even playing field
for men and women? ‐ Heck, no. [ laughs ]
An even playing field? Are you kidding? [ laughs ]
What?! It's not even an even playing field now.
No, it was never an even playing field.
It was so hard to get stage time.
‐ Oh, Lord! ‐ [ laughter ]
As a Black woman, I had to fight.
I really, really had to fight for my spots,
and I really, really had to prove to the comics
that I was funny.
I was at a club, and a guy had come up to me,
and I was coming out the bathroom.
He said, "Excuse me, sis." I said, "No, excuse me!"
[ laughter ]
"I make my own money. I got my thing goin'.
"I don't need you to tell me what to do.
"I do my nails. I do my hair. I got it all covered here.
Now what you want?" ‐ [ laughter ]
He was like, "I was just gon' tell you
you had some toilet paper stuck on your shoe."
‐ [ laughter ] ‐ I‐‐Oh. Oh.
♪♪♪♪♪♪
In New York, first of all,
you're lucky if you get on the schedule,
and then you're gonna get 15 minutes, 10.
On the road, I was getting 30 minutes of stage time
as a feature.
I go to Flint. I'm performing at this college.
Right before I go onstage,
I go up to the student body president.
I said, "Look, I just need to know for my act.
Do you guys have any Jews here?"
She goes, "Juice? Yeah, we've got, um,
apple juice, grape juice, and orange juice."
[ laughter ]
This is every hotel key card that I've used
since around maybe 2010.
I don't use my own name when I check in.
So a lot of these have a fake name.
You can kind of, like, uh, relive your life.
You can demarcate it by hotel star ratings.
Some of the clubs would buy condominiums.
Did anyone talk about this? Oh, my God.
♪♪♪♪♪♪
Welcome to the comedy convo at the Tampa Improv.
Not actually at the Tampa Improv.
Kind of a couple blocks down the street
into a pretty dangerous neighborhood.
There's no emcee staying with me.
Um, he actually lives in this, uh, complex
in another condo.
Here I am, this sort of sheltered girl.
I'm living with two guys I don't know for a week.
And you know, they'd bring home waitresses,
and they'd go‐‐ and I'm sitting there in, like,
in my room with the locked door reading a book
with, like, you know, Pauly Shore's cum
on the fucking comforter, you know?
Ew.
♪♪♪♪♪♪
It's the dues that you have to pay to sort of get
to where you wanna go.
But it's, like, so sad. [ laughs ]
You just think, what if this is my life?
[ scattered laughter ]
I sat down on the couch, and I started flipping through the TV.
Then I came upon the Lifetime network.
Now I don't know if you guys are familiar
with the Lifetime network, but their slogan is
"Lifetime‐‐ Television for Women."
Now if you were to watch some of these Lifetime movies,
they are most famous for, you would notice
they often involve a woman being murdered,
kidnapped, beaten, maimed, hoodwinked.
You know, girl stuff.
[ laughter ]
Usually when we're comedians on the road,
like, they don't give a shit about us.
They'll just send any sex offender
to get us from the airport. ‐ [ laughter ]
I was in Alabama, and they sent this man.
You know when you meet someone and just right away,
you're like, "Whoa, you're crazy."
Like, I could feel him crackling with insanity.
‐ [ laughter ] ‐ Humming with madness.
I got into his car. This is the first thing he said to me.
This is what he opened with. He just goes...
[ imitates Southern accent ] "You is the first Jewish
that I had ever met in my life."
[ laughter ]
[ normal voice ] Which I guess is better than being
his last Jewish. I'm not sure.
[ laughter ]
♪♪♪♪♪♪
It's tricky because when somebody asks you
to go on the road, you don't always know.
You don't know why. Does this guy really respect my act,
or is he gonna be just strange and gross
and lascivious all weekend?
They don't know the feeling. They don't know what it's like
to physically not be as big as someone
and know that no matter how much smarter
or funnier you are, at the end of the day,
if that person wants to hurt you, then can.
I've had a fan follow me to my hotel room before
and somehow know my room. I don't know how he did,
but banging on the door all night.
I had to call the cops. It's like, you know,
you're a little bit like, ugh.
You know, of course it was‐‐ I got harassed.
Someone grabbed my boob.
It's happened so many times where guys casually
just put their hand on my ass when they're taking a picture.
‐ Right. ‐ And it's‐‐
and no one ever sees it. I'll have security guards,
like, watching, and I'll be like,
"Will you just watch for men touching me in weird places?"
'Cause it's always weird for me to call out
'cause it's, like, in front of their wife.
‐ Right. ‐ And I don't wanna
embarrass them and make it a thing.
I had a guy lick me one time.
And from that point on, I was like,
there will always be a security guard.
I've had male comics follow me in the bathroom
and push open the bathroom stall before.
I mean, there's‐‐ it goes on and on.
I was working with somebody on the road,
and he locked me in the dressing room,
and he came for me.
But he was half my size.
That's really stupid and insulting
when somebody tries to rape you and they're half your size.
I've been in so many situations. I was assaulted by a comic.
It's‐‐It's rough.
You know?
♪♪♪♪♪♪
You gotta be careful. There are crazy people out there.
You know, I'm sure that's true for men, too,
but not as much.
And you told me‐‐
[ laughs ]
No, that's funny...
Women have so much more to worry about, huh?
This summer I'm walking with my boyfriend.
He says to me, "Gee, it's a beautiful night."
Let's go down by the river."
[ laughs ] I said, "What are you, nuts?
"I'm not going down by the river. It's midnight.
"I'm wearing jewelry. I'm carrying money.
I have a vagina with me."
[ laughter ]
[ cheers, applause, and whistles ]
Wouldn't it be great if you would just leave
your pussy at home sometimes? ‐ [ laughter ]
Just think of the freedom that you will have.
You'd get home from work.
It's getting a little dark outside.
You're like, ooh, I would like to go for a jog, but...
[ clicks teeth ] it's getting too dark.
Oh, I'll just leave it at home.
And you..
[ laughter ]
And you're out jogging. Yeah, it could be pitch‐black.
You still out there, just jogging, enjoying yourself.
You know, if some crazy guy just jumps out the bushes,
like, "Ahh!" You're like, Oh! I left it at home."
[ laughter ]
[ cheers and applause ]
I didn't wanna fuck any of the guys.
I hung out with them.
I heard every fucking shit they said about women
and minorities and Jews and gay‐‐you know.
And I was like, okay, great. Whatever.
I just wanted to be good at my craft.
I didn't let them or anything get in the way.
♪♪♪♪♪♪
‐ How was it? ‐ Ugh. I don't know.
I'm‐‐I've been on the road. I don't know what's happening.
Where‐‐Where have you been?
‐ I was on, uh, I was at Acme. ‐ Oh, I love Acme.
I love Acme, too. It was great.
I saw your name on the‐‐ on the thing.
‐ Oh, on the list? ‐ Yeah, yeah.
On the thing on the dressing room?
Yeah. It was fun. Um, but I just feel disconnected.
Whenever I come back, I'm like, exhausted.
Oh, I know. You gotta take Sunday off.
Like, you gotta enjoy the work.
‐ Yeah. ‐ You know what I mean?
‐ Yeah. ‐ And you‐‐you wouldn't be
on the stage if you didn't deserve to be.
Yeah. I gotta remember that. I didn't trick anybody.
‐ Right. You're not a fraud. ‐ [ laughs ] Yeah.
You got in here, and you‐‐ do you think the guys, ever,
when they get in here, are, like...
‐ No. ‐ Never.
You earned that time. It's your time.
‐ Yeah. ‐ Don't‐‐
Don't let them in your head. It's a process.
Thank you.
How long have you been doing it?
I appreciate that so much.
Confidence is only a question that we only ask women about
because it's just a given that men will have it.
We're always telling unconfident women to be confident,
and then when they get confident,
we're like, "Why are you so confident? Tone it down.
"That's making us feel less confident.
Okay. Oh, let's build you back up, knock you back down."
We have an obsession with monitoring
women's confidence and their hubris.
I truly believe our society operates
on a currency of women's insecurities.
Multibillion‐dollar industries thriving on, like,
"Just make them feel like their bodies are unacceptable
and then, like, sell them some shit."
Look at any magazine. "Like, you're amazing,
"but you need to lose, like, 10 pounds.
"Love your body. Love your hair. Whatever you've done is wrong.
You look like a sea monster."
[ laughter ]
Everything's got, like, a weird mixed message
and a weird, like, whore‐y undertone.
Like, "Be a bad girl. Own your sexuality,
but if you fuck more than one dude, you're a whore."
Like, everything's wrong. ‐ [ laughter ]
It's not easy. It's not.
And men and women are different, you know?
Do you ever notice, like, women, whenever we look in the mirror,
we're insecure, we judge ourselves?
Or just we tear ourselves apart.
Just, "Look at me. Look."
Like, even if you're stunning, look at my eyes.
They're like a different shape. I'm so‐‐Ugh, I hate my hair.
So unattractive.
This is how most men look in the mirror,
no matter how horribly unattractive they are.
[ laughter and applause ]
I'm fucking hot.
[ laughter ]
I know I'm smart. I know I'm funny.
I don't question those things. I do question that I'm pretty.
And it's so stupid. It's so stupid to say.
Um, and it's so sad.
I know. I wish I could just accept myself,
but, um, I was, uh, I just have really low self‐esteem
because I was born a woman, and so, um,
maybe I was born with it. Maybe it's Maybelline.
‐ It'll just be... ‐ Yeah, that's good.
It's so much easier to be a man.
I mean, you get it. You're, like, you see‐‐
you work with all‐‐ like, mostly men on camera.
You see what work goes into them being on camera versus‐‐
As we sit here in hair and makeup?
‐ Yeah. ‐ Yeah, I get it.
Grateful for you and what you do,
but, you know, ultimately resent it.
‐ Um... ‐ You are just fed
from the day‐‐at least I was from day one, that looks matter.
Photo shoots send me into depressions.
Anything that makes me focus on my vanity‐‐
that's what really make me have anxiety.
My dad used to tell me I was so beautiful,
and I was an ugly child.
Like, I legit was. I was diagnosed as one
at the age of 11 by a caricature artist
at a Six Flags.
‐ [ laughter ] ‐ So I have the documentation.
♪♪♪♪♪♪
Men look for looks. Remember that.
Don't waste your time learning to read a book.
[ laughter ]
I wanna congratulate you. You've taken off a lot of weight.
‐ Yeah. ‐ Your hair's different.
Everything about you is different.
♪♪♪♪♪♪
A lot of really established comedians‐‐men‐‐
would say, "Don't be so pretty.
"You can't be too pretty. You can't be too pretty,
because they're gonna be mad."
♪♪♪♪♪♪
"The women will be jealous because you're so beautiful.
"The men will just wanna have sex with you,
so don't be too pretty. A beautiful women is a threat."
♪♪♪♪♪♪
If you see any patches of archaic sadness,
just blot them.
Just keep plastering this lie on me.
Yeah, have some, like, little dickhead in my head
that's like, "Hey, you look fat in that shot."
So I wish I didn't have those thoughts.
All I do is just bat them away as much as I can.
You're smart. You're funny. You're just a little insecure.
That's all.
♪♪♪♪♪♪
My mom was a girly girl,
so she wanted me to dress more feminine,
so she started shopping for me, and for some reason,
she started putting me in these power suits.
[ laughter ]
Yeah, like a pantsuit, which is just an older version of gay.
I looked like a 50‐year‐old woman lawyer,
just going to court in my power suit.
Like, who's ready to litigate, ladies?
[ laughter ]
Of course I'm gonna get called fat.
I'm gonna get called a dude. I'm gonna get called whatever.
You just kinda go, "Huh, okay," and move on.
But I don't understand shoulder pads.
Were people just like,
"Oh, your shoulders hadn't come in yet.
Let's get you some pads"?
But I'm never gonna be like,
"Oh, God, I felt so fat up there."
[ blows raspberry ] Who cares?
I have achieved more peace in my body as I've gotten older,
but it took a long time to get there.
Once upon a time, I had my own TV show
called "All‐American Girl."
[ cheers and applause ]
I got a phone call from the producer of the show
that, "The network is concerned.
"They think that you're really overweight,
"and you're gonna have to do something about it.
"If you wanna be a star, if you wanna have a show,
you're gonna have to do something."
I wanted to be a success at this,
and I‐I was just willing to do whatever,
and if that meant don't eat, don't eat,
I just was fine with that.
I lost 30 pounds in 2 weeks.
[ audience gasps ]
And my kidneys collapsed.
It happened on the set of the show.
I guess the network had decided that my face
could now fit on the screen.
The first episode was about my character,
and I do stand‐up comedy
and publicly embarrass my family.
So at the end of the episode, I learned my lesson,
I go back onstage,
and I vow never to publicly embarrass my family again.
Quentin Tarantino, who I was dating at the time,
called me up straightaway.
"What the fuck was that?"
[ laughter ]
"That is so fucking wrong! I can't believe you!
You fucking live to publicly embarrass your family."
[ laughter ]
"What's wrong with you? They took away your voice.
"Don't let them do that.
Don't let them take away your voice!"
I didn't get it.
I was like, "But I'm a size 4."
[ laughter ]
All those years of too tall, too loud, too Jewish, too gay‐‐
it took me so long to realize I am angry.
‐ No one's funnier than us. ‐ No one!
‐ Kathy Griffin. ‐ Sarah Silverman.
BOTH: Fuck you!
But a woman can't be angry,
'cause if she's angry, she's mentally ill.
She's hysterical. She's a bitch.
Or diva or nag.
Difficult, bitchy, hard to work with.
When women, like, go crazy,
it's because people chip away at you,
and then you snap, and it's like, see? Crazy.
If someone's crazy,
of course you don't have to listen to them
or heed their warnings or take them seriously.
You write 'em off.
Male comics are often really, really celebrated
for their very famous anger.
You fucking bitch! How do you live with yourself?!
You piece of shit!
Yeah, you‐‐ Yeah, you fucking cunt!
You fucking bitch!
That gives me carte blanche!
Shut up! I'll let go when you shut up.
Girl, I'll shake this weave out your hair.
I don't give a fuck. Shut up! Shut the fuck up!
Talking about hitting women, sweetheart.
And I think you just added another reason.
We're not allowed to show that we're angry, even though we are.
Women are filled with rage, but we have to keep a smile
and not show it because of wrinkles and likeability.
So we shove it down. Shove it down.
But it comes out. It finds a way like water.
It was always very hard to talk about trauma in comedy
because audiences don't want the dailyness of tragedy
to encroach upon when they are laughing.
And I find it really interesting that
this is becoming‐‐that‐‐that kind of admission of trauma
is part of comedy's venue these days.
Yeah, and nowadays, it's become really a testament
to comedians' skill to use that suffering in a way as, like,
almost like colors that you would paint with, you know?
Like, to use all of that darkness to, um,
I guess contrast to the lightness.
♪♪♪♪♪♪
[ indistinct conversations, laughter ]
Well...
‐ It's an 8‐minute. ‐ What are you gonna talk about?
How I was diagnosed with breast cancer.
‐ What? ‐ Aw.
I don't remember anything about this.
‐ Mwah. ‐ Yeah, but I'm gonna be fine.
But you're gonna talk about it onstage?
You're gonna be fine.
That is so brave you can talk about it onstage.
I love that. What'd you say? To be‐‐
So brave! She gets to talk about it onstage.
Most people who get breast cancer
have to, like, live with it in the torture inside.
‐ You get to... ‐ Marina...
‐ [ laughter ] ‐ I know. What?
‐ All right. Here we go. ‐ Have fun.
Let's see if‐‐ if it doesn't work‐‐
[ laughter ]
Oh, Judy.
What would I do without you?
Hard to do in an 8‐minute set, though.
Like, "I have breast cancer," and I'm out.
‐ Bye. ‐ Bye.
♪♪♪♪♪♪
When I found out my diagnosis, everything flashed before me,
and I thought about...
[ voice breaking ] when I was in high school,
what I wanted to be,
and then I thought about my career
and where it was and where it wasn't.
and I thought about all of things
that I wanted for my life.
By the time I got to the comedy club,
tears were gone.
I was calm.
[ singsongy ] Marina Franklin!
Oh, yeah!
[ cheers and applause ]
Not getting a hug. That's okay.
These guys these days, you know...
‐ [ laughter ] ‐ They‐‐They're so‐‐
It's all right. It works for my act,
so that's fine. ‐ [ laughter ]
No, 'cause they're not giving us hugs.
It's the Me Too Movement.
'Cause this is how they're hugging.
They're hugging like...Well, I didn't even get one from him.
[ laughter ]
You know, and I'm hugging like that.
‐ [ laughter ] ‐ Oh, yeah, no,
I'll give you a good vag hug. That's right.
'Cause I was with this brother, and he came quick, and, um,
I was laying there, and he was asleep,
and I started feeling myself, and, uh, and I felt something.
And this is not the funny part, actually.
I don't want you to accidentally laugh in the unfunny part.
‐ [ laughter ] ‐ But I have... [ laughs ]
'Cause I‐‐This is new material.
But, uh, I had‐‐I had a lump, and, uh, it was breast cancer.
But... [ laughs ] You guys are like, "Oh."
‐ [ laughter ] ‐ "Where is she going?"
Uh, the thing is, is I caught it early,
so I'm gonna be good, yeah. Yeah, you can applaud that.
‐ You can. You can. Yes. ‐ [ cheers and applause ]
Caught it early.
[ cheers and applause continues ]
'Cause of the bad lay that I had, apparently.
If I hadn't had a bad lay... [ laughs ]
I would never have caught it early.
‐ [ laughter ] ‐ So you guys are actually‐‐
you don't realize it, you're providing a service.
[ laughter ]
‐ So I guess come quick. ‐ [ laughter ]
Thank you. I like that extra laugh.
Okay. You guys were really good for me,
uh, trying this material out.
Um, I'll say, how do I get out of cancer material?
[ laughter ]
It's not easy, I'm‐a tell you.
Okay, this is another new one. Fertility.
I gotta do fertility stuff. That's aggressive coming at men,
'cause I need sperm. That's kinda creepy.
Just, "I need your sp‐‐ I don't even need you."
[ laughter ] I was like, Louis C. K.
is actually useful right now.
‐ [ laughter ] ‐ It's like, "You know that..."
[ laughter ]
"You know that thing you do?
If you could do that into a cup, please."
[ laughter ]
Hey, you guys were amazing. Thank you so much.
[ cheers and applause ]
♪♪♪♪♪♪
[ exhales deeply ] I did it.
I was scared. I'm not gonna lie.
I was really scared to share it.
‐ It worked so good. My God. ‐ Weren't they crazy?
♪♪♪♪♪♪
It was so good for me,
and I could see that I was actually reaching people.
♪♪♪♪♪♪
The things that we're talking about as comics,
like, this is your experience on this planet.
And comics are here to just hold up that mirror
to be, like, "This is us."
I think it was George Carlin, you know, who calls us,
comedians, modern‐day philosophers.
We're also whistle‐blowers.
You're standing up for what you believe is right,
and you're calling things out.
[ cheers and applause ]
I mean, it's my job to stand up there alone
in the dark and tell you where I see bullshit.
♪♪♪♪♪♪
So it should be more straight up like that?
‐ No, it's gotta be center. ‐ No, more...
‐ There you go. Just like that. ‐ I got it.
It all started when celebrity photographer
Tyler Shields released this video of Griffin
slowly lifting up what resembles the head of Donald Trump
for all to see.
After she, uh, was photographed holding up Trump's head,
there was such a huge backlash.
When that photo when live in March 30, 2017,
I lost everything within 12 hours.
I was in the middle of a 50‐city tour,
and the last 25 cities of the tour
were all canceled.
A comedian is dealing with the aftermath
of what she now describes as a mistake.
I'm a comic. I crossed the line. I moved the line,
and then I cross it. I went way too far.
For the first time in history that we are aware of,
the President of the United States
and his family is personally attempting to ruin a comedian.
It was all so much bullshit. She got so railroaded.
You know, I'm sorry, but Kathy Griffin‐‐
people‐‐men haven't liked her for years.
Many male artists have created far more disturbing imagery.
A Marilyn Manson music video
shows him beheading a Trump figure.
The band Municipal Waste has an image of Trump
with a bloody gunshot to his head.
The band GWAR has had violent images like this
for president after president for years.
They're all just considered bad boys.
They would never treat a male comedian that way.
I've never seen that.
Even male comedians who threaten gang rape
don't get that kind of shit. [ laughs ]
I am a woman in a very male‐dominated field.
And I think it's important to have
comics that do super clean comedy,
comics that do political commentary,
prop comics, all of it.
You don't have to like me,
but you shouldn't silence a comic.
Joan Rivers would have done the same thing.
Kathy, Joan, just fearlessness‐‐
fearlessness in a way that I don't have.
Like, that girl that was onstage
when Harvey Weinstein was in the room‐‐
that was the type of thing I watched, and I was like,
I don't know if I could have done that.
Harvey Weinstein's trip to a comedy show
ends in a Me Too confrontation that's gone viral.
He's accused of sexual misconduct
by more than 80 women.
Right before I got onstage, I was asking
all the people around me,
"You know that's Harvey Weinstein, right?
"Like, I need to say something. I'm a comic, like, right?
I should say something"?
And a well‐dressed woman
drinking a martini at the bar next to me went,
"No, don't say anything. Are you kidding? Like, no."
And I was like, oh, she's not gonna like this.
‐ [ applause ] ‐ I'm feeling a little tense.
‐ Anybody else? No? ‐ [ laughter ]
‐ I'm a comic. ‐ [ laughter ]
And it's our job to name, uh, the elephant in the room.
Do we know what that is?
♪♪♪♪♪♪
I saw the show where this great female comic
was, like, really, like, calling out
the elephant in the room
with Harvey Weinstein being in the room,
and I'm like, oh, my God, that is really badass.
I didn't know that we had to bring our own mace
and, uh, rape whistles to Actor's Hour.
[ booing ]
Have them be booing you and still stick to it?
I mean, it was one of the coolest things
I've ever seen.
‐ Now‐‐ ‐ Shut up!
Now‐‐
Someone said, "Shut up,"
and that's the most triggering thing.
Oh, shut up?
Just felt like I kinda saw red.
That's the part that is difficult in the room,
continuing to say, "Mmm, you're booing me,
"but I'm gonna keep...
I'm gonna keep my composure and say another funny thing."
This kills at, uh, group therapy for rape survivors.
They love it. Yeah.
‐ Whoo, whoo! Yes! ‐ Yeah!
‐ Whoo! ‐ Tell us! Whoo!
I have been raped, surprisingly by no one in this room,
but, um, I never got to confront those guys, so...
Yes, girl!
‐ [ cheers and applause ] ‐ Um...
That is nothing less than an act of civil disobedience.
So for anyone out there, and including the women
that are saying, "Oh, couldn't she have been more ladylike?
Couldn't she have said it in a softer tone?"
I go, oh, my gosh, we're still hearing that stuff.
‐ All right, thank you. ‐ [ cheers and applause ]
I wrote her and told her, like, "You've changed the way
that I've thought and behaved onstage,"
and she's someone who just started in comedy.
That's how cool that is that, like, someone who's
just starting out can, like, make me feel so empowered.
The fact that these women can get onstage and talk about rape,
that...that is‐‐ that's feminism.
Because you know what? Women have been silent
about this for hundreds of‐‐ thousands of years.
I'm so grateful to this new generation of women.
They came along and they're like,
"Hey, have you been getting sexually harassed like this
your whole lives?" And we're like,
"Oh, yeah."
[ laughter ]
And they're like, "Yeah, you wanna do something about that?"
And we're like..."Oh, yeah!"
‐ [ laughter ] ‐ "That's a very good idea."
‐ [ applause ] ‐ They're like, "Yeah, yeah."
We're like, oh, we're so used to it, you know?
You're at work, and you're like, "Ugh, I have to, like,
"make every guy think that we also might fuck
and do a good job."
[ laughter ]
♪♪♪♪♪♪
What I do like is now I'm seeing comics speak up.
I'm seeing a lot of badass girls get into this field now.
I feel like they're equipped more‐‐more than we were.
I do just wanna confess, like, the fame grab
for a second, though. Like, I wanna fully confess it.
Um, when I was getting raped five years ago...
‐ [ laughter ] ‐ I remember thinking to myself,
"I can't wait!" ‐ [ laughter ]
"I can't wait to use this to get ahead in comedy."
[ laughter ]
I think what people like about my narrative right now
is that I'm like David and Goliath, giant slayer.
This nobody little girl stood up to the Big, Bad Wolf,
and once you yourself stand up against power,
then the narrative changes.
♪♪♪♪♪♪
♪♪ White guys ♪♪
[ laughter ]
You guys have had a pretty bad year.
[ laughter ]
[ cheers and applause ]
I blow my husband whenever he wants,
so I do do that. I just‐‐ if he wants a blow job,
I just give it to him. I don't know why.
I know I love propping up the patriarchy, you know?
[ laughter ]
No, that's what he calls his balls.
Maybe the Me Too Movement didn't exactly
open more doors for women.
I mean, people were saying it's gonna close doors for women.
You know, men aren't gonna wanna work with women anymore,
and it's like, oh, go fuck yourself, you know?
Really? We're supposed to put up with that
so that everybody feels comfortable?
But on the other hand, it really‐‐I feel like
there was a definite shift,
and we stopped competing with one another,
and we went, you know what? This is it.
We're in it together.
Kathy, I'm in a car with some‐‐ with New York's finest.
[ laughter ]
Amy Schumer sent me this really great video
the day the Trump photo went live
and the walls were caving in,
and I get this, you know, this video,
and she's with three other comics,
and it was so supportive.
We just wanna say we fucking love you and we're with you.
‐ We're with you. We're‐‐ ‐ You're hysterical.
‐ You're hilarious. ‐ And you looked
fucking great in that picture, by the way.
‐ Yeah. ‐ Gorgeous. All the way.
So hot, and we love you, and you make us laugh so much.
We love you.
I felt very supported by it, very supported,
especially at that time where it was... [ scoffs ]
not exactly popular to support me.
Like, people just started going to each other's shows anyway,
just hanging out with each other,
and it's really remarkable when you do stuff like that,
how much it grows, and not to sound too corny,
but that's how movements happen, and that's what I feel like
is happening right now with women in comedy.
It's like we're all‐‐ we're all fueling each other,
and it's becoming something bigger, you know?
It's‐‐It's made me closer to women
and feel better about being a woman.
'Cause we've all been in the same hotels.
You know, we've been, like, depressed
at the same Howard Johnson's in Toledo.
‐ Yeah. ‐ Yeah.
And you guys have been there.
I've learned to become super supportive
of other female comics because people did that for me.
Like, Amy Schumer. Look at "Inside Amy Schumer."
There's so many female comics.
Now I know what you're all thinking.
You wanna see the doctors right away,
but you're just gonna have to settle
for the unsung heroes up here who do all the real work.
Doctors can be very unapproachable.
It's like, we get it, Your Grace.
‐ You're super busy. ‐ And we're not busy?
Thank you.
"Inside Amy Schumer"‐‐ Comedy Central used to say
our demographic is men, and it's gotta be a man
of this age, so Amy changed that, you know, dramatically.
[ cheers and applause ]
It really does take one person in a position of power.
Once they anoint you in this business,
it helps tremendously.
I had been coming up against a bunch of walls
of people not knowing what to do with me.
I was different. I looked different,
and Chelsea Handler was the first person who got it.
You have two lesbians already. A third one would not kill you.
[ laughter ]
We'll be like the lesbian Destiny's Child.
[ cheers and applause ]
Yeah! Yeah!
Tina Fey gave me some really cool opportunities,
which led to getting on "The Mindy Project."
They definitely all got their arm back,
lifting people up.
I could hook you up if you wanna be an Uber driver.
I'm good. I already have a job, thank you very much.
I think women are becoming a lot more powerful.
I also think it's gonna take a long time.
But I've seen that the more and more that we come together,
the more work everyone's getting,
and the more money everyone's making.
You have a new special out.
Yeah, I have a special called "Bangin',"
and I'm really proud of it.
I've been doing this forever, and now I'm like,
graduating from clubs to, like, actual theaters.
The other thing people might know you from
is how good you are at roasts.
I just did‐‐Yeah, I did the "Roast of Alec Baldwin."
I've done the "Roast of Bruce Willis,"
and I did the "Roast of Rob Lowe."
I feel like it's my thing now.
You are fucking funny.
♪♪♪♪♪♪
There's so many types of women
doing so many types of comedy now.
And there's more of an appetite.
I hope that when women see me on the stage
they can go, "Wow. I think I can, too."
Our new co‐host Sherri Shepherd!
‐ [ cheers and applause ] ‐ Fist bump. Put it in.
But I wanna‐‐ I wanna see more women.
I want to see a woman in a burqa get onstage
and tell her truth.
Like, I followed, uh, a white comedian
talking about horses the other day.
No, it was great material. It was funny shit.
It was‐‐It was great material about horses.
I was so jealous. 'Cause I knew. I was like,
I‐I know I can't get away with that.
[ laughter ]
Like, if I was up here talking about horses
for, like, an hour, you guys would be like,
"This bitch know what's going on?"
[ laughter ]
Do you feel like there's been a blossoming of voices,
of women and women of color?
[ exhales deeply ]
Mm.
I think it's definitely going in the right direction
for comedy for Black women.
I think they are getting a lot more attention now.
But I think there are still some roadblocks.
♪♪♪♪♪♪
I wanna see a female comic get a deal at Netflix
that's a $50 million deal like all of the other men.
I don't know any woman that has done that.
♪♪♪♪♪♪
I probably earned about $75 million
over the course of my career.
Believe it or not, it's still for real, like,
a tenth of what my male counterparts have earned.
Like, I'm not even gonna‐‐ I have to be honest about that.
I brought a death threat for you.
"Go to hell, Kathy." And then this is what I want you to know
about the Trumpers, like, how random they are.
"You are no different than Bill Cosby."
[ laughter ]
I can think of one way, but...
[ laughter ]
We still have a lot of work to do.
As much as there's progress, if you notice the progress,
it's not really a trajectory for all women.
It's kind of like we're still in a period of fits and starts.
[ applause ]
It's very rare and unusual
to see a female comic perform pregnant
because female comics don't get pregnant.
[ laughter ]
Once they do get pregnant, they generally disappear.
That's not the case with male comics.
Once they have a baby, they'll get up onstage
a week afterwards, and they'll be like,
"Guys, I just had this fucking baby.
"That baby's a little piece of shit.
"It's so annoying and boring," and all these other shitty dads
in the audience are like, "That's hilarious. I identify,"
and their fame just swells, because they become
this relatable family funny man all of a sudden.
Meanwhile, the mom is at home, chapping her nipples,
feeding the fucking baby,
and wearing a frozen diaper 'cause her pussy needs to heal
from the baby's head shredding it up. She's busy.
[ laughter ]
‐ Okay. Oh, oh, oh, oh. ‐ [ baby crying ]
‐ Here you go. ‐ [ baby fusses ]
She's one month old.
Be right back. Just wanted you to meet her.
I mean, I'm scared about how I'm gonna juggle
being a mother and doing stand‐up,
and I'm sure I'll fuck up a lot.
Uh, I know it's been helpful to me
to listen to other comics talk about being a mom.
I‐I just relate more when I can hear other female comics
talk about juggling here.
So, no, I have a daughter. She's my world.
She's my everything. She's like 5 or 12 or something like that,
and, um... ‐ [ laughter ]
I did take my daughter on the road with me
when I‐‐when she was little, when she could fly for free.
I mean, literally, she was, like, 6 months old
when I started taking her, and I'd just hand her over
to somebody in the green room.
The opening act in the green room,
and I say, "Read her a book until I get offstage,"
and they were so nervous.
You're gonna save your chopsticks?
‐ This one or this one? ‐ When I was a kid,
we used to shave‐‐ save our chopsticks.
‐ Oh, Daddy forgot his‐‐ ‐ We have chopsticks at home.
I know, but I'm just...
We were poor.
So are we.
♪♪♪♪♪♪
Hello!
‐ How you doing? ‐ Okay.
Good. Do you wanna play a little bit of cards
while these people are here? ‐ If you want.
Okay.
I started working on all the traumas
that I've had in my life, and it's been fucking hard.
But I think this is good for me, 'cause it's making me face
literally all the stuff I've never faced in my whole life.
I decided to retire from stand‐up
about two, three years ago.
I wanna do something that has a clear message
to make people feel better about themselves.
Lisa quit. Lisa Lampanelli quit,
and I fucking love that she quit.
And now she does self‐help.
I do not want any transgender kid,
any gay kid, any African American person,
to feel like the jokes are real, so I said,
you know what? It's all gone. ‐ Yep.
I'm gonna send a message of love
in a funny way, and that's, uh, how it's gonna be.
She told me she's never been happier,
and I was like, "God, someday, I'm right behind you."
I wanna go do self‐help because I love‐‐
that's what my act is turning into.
That's the fucked up thing about being a woman,
is that I did the "Roast of Alec Baldwin,"
and everyone called me old, and the thing is,
these men are twice my age calling me old.
But to them, I truly am old.
I'm literally older than all of their wives,
so, like, they're not wrong. ‐ [ laughter ]
I wanna, like, make other women feel less alone.
That's why I talk about sex all the time.
If you would have asked me, like, a year ago,
"Nikki, will you ever eat ass in your life?"
‐ [ laughter ] ‐ I would've been like,
"Yeah, I did two years ago,"
but if you would've asked me four years ago,
like, I would've been like, never.
My whole life, I'll go without eating ass.
But one time I got horny enough that I was just, like,
it was right there by my nose, and I was like, I'm going in.
And I went in, and I've only done it once,
and I haven't done it since, but because I've eaten ass,
I know I am a woman who can do anything.
‐ Like, I can do anything... ‐ [ cheers and applause ]
...except be president 'cause I'm a woman.
[ applause ]
♪♪♪♪♪♪
Whatever this life has in store, whether it's kids
or having a movie career or something bad happens,
there's always comedy to be mined from that,
and that's why I love stand‐up comedy.
[ nasally voice ] Amazing.
I'm offering up myself in an effort to find myself,
hoping that in doing so, you will also find yourself.
[ cheering ]
Stand‐up helped me immensely.
Please laugh at all my jokes. I have a heart murmur.
Just to write a joke and share it with somebody,
that's really just opened me up as a person.
I believe in Jesus.
Um, just kidding. I don't, I don't. Um...
I mean, I do, like, sometimes, like,
when there's turbulence, oh, my God.
[ laughter ]
I do feel success.
I do feel like things are really happening.
But I don't think that I will ever get that hole filled,
and I think that's a good thing
because it'll make me keep doing stand‐up.
Like, once you're content and happy, then what?
♪♪♪♪♪♪
I'm so glad that I've been talking about breast cancer.
And I started talking about it on my podcast.
And so I would get these emails from women.
They were like, "After your podcast,
"I'm like, driving to get a mammogram.
I'm going now. Me and my mom are going."
And I was like, okay, this is why you do this.
That's me as an ice cream. [ laughs ]
When I discovered who I was and found my place in L. A.,
found comedy, I found myself.
Even if you don't like gay people,
maybe I'll make you laugh, and if that‐‐if that makes you
feel less hate towards gay people, then great.
I'm doing something right.
I finally get the courage to tell her.
I'm like, "Mom, I'm gay," and her face just drops.
She becomes silent. She looks stern.
I don't know what she's thinking,
and this goes on for what feels like an eternity.
I'm like, oh, my God. What's happening?
Like, is this the end of our relationship?
Does she hate me? And finally, my mom gets up,
very sternly, and she grabs her purse.
She goes, "Let's go! We're going to Hooters,
and we're gonna tell 'em it's your birthday."
‐ [ laughter ] ‐ And I was like, yes!
[ cheers and applause ]
[ laughter ]
I think that we changed the landscape of what is comedy,
and I really appreciate that.
‐ [ cheers and applause ] ‐ I am not gonna die
because I failed as someone else.
I'm gonna succeed as myself, and I'm gonna stay here
and rock the mic until the next Korean American
fag hag, shit starter, girl comic, trash talker
comes up and takes my place!
[ loud cheers and applause ]
♪♪♪♪♪♪
I'm producing this show called "Locally Grown Comedy."
It's a grass roots community that I've created.
So there's food in there.
I want my comedians to feel very cared for.
‐ Don't fuck it up. ‐ [ laughs ]
I've written to each comedian to thank them
for doing my show and telling them how awesome they are
and how much I appreciate them.
'Cause that's what I would wanna hear.
I'm excited about finding female comics for my show.
And one time I had all females on the show,
and I didn't say anything about it.
Like, I didn't say, "This is a female comedy show."
It just was.
♪♪♪♪♪♪
We're not just‐‐ it's not shallow laughter.
It's not jokes just for the sake of jokes.
It's about a connection. It's about sharing a story,
and that's a very spiritual thing for me.
It's like, it is a religion.
I love the fact that you guys are laughing at this.
‐ It's important. ‐ [ laughter ]
♪♪♪♪♪♪
This is an occupation where you get to really find yourself
and you get to get strong.
♪♪♪♪♪♪
You get on that stage, and you go,
"I can say something. I can change opinions."
I think that's the power of comedy.
Kids would go with their parents to see my show
and then come out to their parents afterwards, you know?
And that to me was the greatest gift.
♪♪♪♪♪♪
Lot of long‐hand written ones.
Like, one time someone told me that I'm the only person
that they've told that they're trans.
You know, and they send me pictures of their animals.
You know, people, like, pour their hearts out into 'em.
♪♪♪♪♪♪
We're stalking you while you're doing this, too.
‐ But you're so awesome. ‐ We fucking love you. Like‐‐
What I love about going on the road and around the world
is seeing how my very human observations apply to a person
that looks nothing like me from a place I've never been to,
and it is the coolest thing ever.
[ cheers and applause ]
At its core, we all want love. We all wanna feel seen.
We all wanna feel acknowledged.
Nobody wants to feel bad about themselves.
Everybody wants to be heard.
♪♪♪♪♪♪
If you don't stand up, you get run over.
[ applause ]
♪♪♪♪♪♪
Hopefully, women in power become so ubiquitous
that we don't have to talk about it anymore.
[ cheering ]
I always tell women, do self‐talk.
It's your time now. Make a difference.
You're gonna change the world.
And don't sleep with the other comics.
That's one thing. Don't‐‐Do not sleep with the other comics.
It's just... [ inhales sharply ] no good.
[ K. Flay's "I Like Myself (Most of the Time)" playing ]
[ cheers and applause ]
Thank you tonight. I love you. Mwah!
[ cheers and applause ]
♪♪ Everybody wants to be the girl ♪♪
Good night! Thank you for coming!
♪♪ Everybody wants to be extraordinarily beautiful ♪♪
Thank you.
♪♪ Everybody wants to rule the world ♪♪
♪♪ Or the room, at least, and assume that they'll be ♪♪
♪♪ The one with a crowded funeral ♪♪
[ laughter ]
♪♪ Everybody wants to have the time ♪♪
Thank you very much. Bye‐bye.
Thank you and good night.
♪♪ Everybody wants to count their calories ♪♪
Hey, my name's Adele Givens.
Thanks so much.
♪♪ Baby, my job is just to rhyme ♪♪
‐ ♪♪ And I'm fine with that ♪♪ ‐ God bless you.
♪♪ I'll concern myself with all of the lives I might've had ♪♪
You freakin' rock!
Thank you guys so much!
Thank you very much.
Thank you!
Good night, everybody!
‐ Thank you. ‐ Thank you.
Thank you.
‐ Thank you so much. ‐ Thank you, guys.
♪♪ You only got one shot, let her rip ♪♪
‐ ♪♪ Take a dip, have a smoke ♪♪ ‐ Good night.
Thank you.
♪♪ Try to laugh at the jokes ♪♪
♪♪ Ha! I like myself most of the time ♪♪
♪♪ Is that a crime? ♪♪
♪♪♪♪♪♪
♪♪ I like myself most of the time ♪♪
♪♪ Is that a crime? ♪♪
♪♪♪♪♪♪
♪♪ Even planet Earth took seven days ♪♪
♪♪ Even if it looks real ♪♪
♪♪ You can fake it in a million different ways ♪♪
♪♪ Nobody chose to have their face ♪♪
♪♪ But you're stuck with it ♪♪
♪♪ So rather than counting my curses, I try to stay positive ♪♪
♪♪ I don't think I'm perfect ♪♪
♪♪ But I've got some things together ♪♪
♪♪ I see photos of proposals ♪♪
♪♪ That I know are empty gestures ♪♪
♪♪ Get a grip ♪♪
♪♪ You only got one shot, let her rip ♪♪
♪♪ Take a dip, have a smoke ♪♪
♪♪ Try to laugh at the jokes, ha! ♪♪
♪♪ I like myself most of the time ♪♪
♪♪ Is that a crime? ♪♪
♪♪ I like myself most of the time ♪♪
♪♪ Is that a crime? ♪♪
♪♪ Ha! ♪♪
♪♪ Is that a crime? ♪♪
♪♪ Ha! ♪♪
♪♪ Is that a crime? ♪♪
♪♪♪♪♪♪
Some guys do this thing in cars,
which is so disgusting.
They actually think they'll get a woman to pull over
and go on a date with them. Ready?
[ imitates horn honking ] Aah!
‐ What the fuck is that? ‐ [ laughter ]
Can you imagine if a woman was like...
[ imitates horn honking ] Hi.
[ laughter ]
[ mouthing words ]
[ laughter ]
[ continues mouthing words ]
In Victoria's Secret 'cause they have
all the little silky stuff, little silky things,
and they got the things written on the back.
They got "PINK" written on the back,
and I bought a pair of "PINK" underwear,
so when you get a certain age,
your ass likes to eat up all the letters on the...
So literally the panties just said... [ crunching sound ]
[ laughter ]
It's a funny time period after sex.
You just did this series
of preposterous things together, really,
and then, men‐‐their bodies were, like, important.
Like, 20 minutes ago, you had this, like,
powerful, sexual man body
that was commanding things, and now you're just
running those pointless, like, post‐sex errands
around the room, just these...
flaccid errands and just grabbing washcloths.
There's no dumber time in all of life.
[ laughter ]
♪♪♪♪♪♪