[rock music]
[grunting]
[screams]
[growling]
This is fucking bullshit.
All right. Let's fucking do this.
[growling]
We're gonna be fucking downstairs,
you don't fucking stop.
- [slap] - [grunts]
[in Spanish]
[engine revs]
[Thunder yelling]
[groaning]
Fucking assholes!
[screaming]
[engine revving]
Hey, should we turn this off?
- Get the fuck out of here! - Fuck you.
You fucking little goddamn slippery midget.
[panting]
[train thundering by]
[train blows horn]
[beasts snarling]
Little midget. Little tiny people.
Special delivery, Tattoo.
Well, then fuck you. Fuck you, motherfucker.
Abuelita!
[grunts]
- [railroad crossing bell rings] - [Greg] Lord.
[screams]
[Secrets sobbing]
[coughing and gasping]
[yelling]
[beast growling]
[screams]
[snarling]
[farting]
[grunting]
[beast snarling]
[body thuds]
[continues sobbing]
[thudding on door]
They're getting in. I'm out of here.
It's Geronimo time.
Aah! Don't touch the dick.
[Slasher] Get your ass back here, Geronimo. Come on.
We can fucking hold him off. Get your ass back over here.
[Bartender screaming]
[engine revving]
Die!
Bleed!
Die!
Bleed!
Bleed it all out, fucking bastard.
Bleed it all out!
[screaming]
[motorcycle backfires]
[Biker Queen grunting]
[Slasher] That's some Pam Grier-type shit.
[Greg moaning]
[beast roaring in distance]
[sighs]
Any of you limp dicks wanna pitch in...
...be my guest.
Thanks for the pep talk, Hoss.
[grunts] I'm out of here.
Fucking rally the troops.
Wait, wait. Wait!
[gasps, then grunts]
[mouths] Fuck.
[moans]
Ow. Ow.
[heavy metal clangs]
I know a lot of you don't believe what I believe. But you gotta believe.
We need to ask for help.
We gotta believe it's coming.
I don't know how, what shape, what size, where,
but we gotta believe.
When we believe, we will receive.
If we don't believe...
...we're already dead.
Join with me, people.
[roars]
[Tat Girl grunting]
[beast snarling]
[thudding sounds]
- [large squishing sound] - [heavy thud]
[Tat Girl grunts] Fuck.
[Tat Girl panting]
[Secrets] Join with me.
[Slasher] Shut up.
Join with me.
I'm sick and tired of that shit.
Stop it.
Just fucking stop it.
- Stop it! - [slapping sound]
Secrets, we're being fucking exterminated.
No amount of hoping, begging or praying
is gonna fucking fix it.
No fucking bullshit
book-of-the-month is gonna save us.
We're on the fucking chopping block here.
It's fucking Armageddon outside.
So wake the fuck up, you little floozy.
- And all we got is jack and shit. - [Secrets humming]
We're what's left of what's left behind.
And nobody's fucking coming to save us.
[singing]
[up-tempo music]
Oh, fuck.
Shit, what the fuck is that?
Israel.
I told you all.
[Bartender] Move your asses, dipshits.
If you ain't living on the edge,
you're taking up too much space.
[Biker Queen] Shh.
[Biker Queen] Come on. Come on. Go, go.
Come on. Get in.
What the fuck?
Fuck off.
[Shitkicker] Hold it right there.
Who are you people?
We're just people
trying to save our asses, hotshot.
OK?
[Biker Queen] Been waiting all night for the cavalry.
- You it? - No.
They're all dead.
[disappointed grunt]
[Bartender] Ain't nobody else coming here?
[Shitkicker] I've been driving all night.
There's no army, no militia,
no soldiers and only bits and pieces of Boy Scouts left.
Ain't no one of substance coming.
[Greg grunts]
What the heck happened to him?
He was fucking stupid, that's what happened.
There are weapons here. This ain't a place to stay.
I'm mounting an offensive.
Who's game?
- Look out! - [grunts]
Remember me, motherfucker, huh?
[all grunting]
[farting]
[Slasher] Oh, shit.
Y'all literally kicked the shit out of him.
- [groaning] - He's a piece of shit.
He's been holed up in here, wouldn't let anyone in.
Just watched them die.
They didn't say the magic word.
- [bones crunching] - [Biker Queen] Where's your nephew, huh?
I haven't seen him since the invasion.
- He is out there, where the fuck is he? - [screaming]
- Where is he? - I ain't seen him.
- I ain't seen him. I swear. - [Biker Queen] Asshole!
- I swear, I ain't seen him. I swear. - [shouts]
[groaning]
What's all this offensive shit, partner?
I'm taking the fight to them.
I heard all that shit in the war and I gotta tell you, cowboy,
it never turned out well.
I'm talking about a good old-fashioned street fight, old-timer.
They'll keep coming till we figure out how to stomp them down.
[yelling]
Hell, we're not safe out here.
Let's get back to the cell.
Come on.
How are you gonna do that?
Stomp them out.
Well, with sweat, firepower and...
...and a little something called courage.
You people wanna wait here and die?
Or you wanna take the fight to these devil dogs?
Yeah.
Yeah, we should fight, shouldn't we?
[Shitkicker] As soon as we find the keys for that gun cabinet,
grab some guns,
throw your chambers in your pockets.
We'll have enough "fuck you" in this place to really hurt some feelings.
I knew you'd come.
I knew you'd save us.
Well, I'll do my best.
How are we gonna fight? I mean, your fucking truck, man, it's a piece of shit.
Gotta be some other vehicles nearby.
[unintelligible]
Keys?
Shut the fuck up. OK? Fuck you, Greg. Fuck you.
First you take my wife, now you want my car?
This is my livelihood.
It's for the greater good, so...
- Listen to the man. - Oh, yeah. I do not like him.
Shut up, buddy.
He's the one.
You believe.
Greg, roughly around the time you fed a baby
to those things out there,
the magic between us disappeared, OK?
We're taking a break.
How does that feel?
[groans]
[Shitkicker] We break into four groups of two.
If we're separated, they can't bunch up.
Our chances for survival increase dramatically.
You two, Rent-a-Wreck and Jor-El, we're alpha team.
We're drawing them out.
We form a triangle, guard each other's backs and protect the women.
And once we've breached that front door, follow us out.
Stay in your groups, head for that car lot.
You. You must make it.
Get those keys from the office fast, 'cause those things will be coming.
What about me?
You're staying, shitpants.
[Shitkicker] I'll have no more of that now.
Nobody's left behind, everybody's coming.
[Slasher] Fuck that. He's half brain-dead.
[Shitkicker] It doesn't matter, you hear?
The rest of you hear me?
No one is left behind.
Now, share the credo.
You ever used one of these before?
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on. Let me show you.
Now, you take Mr. Bullet here..
...and you load him right...
...right into the chamber there.
- [cocks gun] - And you cock the trigger, all right?
Take your time when you aim.
All right, now. You gently squeeze the trigger.
Hammer hits the pin, there's an explosion,
and Mr. Bullet travels down the barrel.
He pops out.
And if your aim is true...
Whew...
You gonna be able to handle that, little lady?
Oh, I can handle it.
All right.
I like what I see.
- [gasping] - [body thuds]
What the fuck?
It was just an accident. It just went off.
Way to go.
- [clanging] - [beasts growling]
[Biker Queen] Oh, shit.
Go in the cell. Go in the cell. Get in the cell.
[Slasher] This way, killer.
[Biker Queen] Oh, Jesus.
[Tat Girl] Come on.
So what the fuck do we do now?
- We gotta get the guns. - We don't have a key.
Nobody asked me.
[Slasher] So who's going, then, huh?
Because I sure as shit ain't going. Fuck that.
[beasts snarling]
- All right, go. Go. - This is really some fucked-up shit.
This is fucked up. You know this is fucked up.
This is the part where the brother usually dies. Listen.
If you hear anything, pull me back.
Fuck. I can't stand that bitch.
[coughing]
OK, OK, OK.
[creaking]
This is really fucked up.
- [beast growls] - Oh, shit.
Did you hear something?
- [door closes] - What was that?
[beasts growling]
- Wait, wait. - [Biker Queen] Pull.
- Jesus. - Pull. Pull. Pull. Pull him in.
Oh, Jesus!
[Biker Queen] Stay down!
- [Tat Girl shouts] - [Slasher] Fuck.
[Biker Queen] Pull!
[roaring]
You fucking asshole!
[yelling]
[howling]
[Greg]
[Slasher] Oh, shit.
Shit.
- [high-pitched whining] - What the fuck is that sound?
[Bartender] It's a goddamn monster alarm.
[Biker Queen] It's drawing them away.
They're chasing the fucking sound.
- What the fuck happened with the guns? - [grunting]
- Where are the keys? - Fuck if I know.
Get this shit off me. Get me out of this fucking thing.
Get me out of this shit.
We gotta get the fuck out of this town.
[hinges creaking]
- Hurry. Come on, come on. - [Biker Queen] Go. Go.
[Greg groaning, mumbling]
- Go. - Ladies first.
Go ahead.
I... I know what you're up to.
- I know what you're up to. - Shut the fuck up.
I can use a shield.
[Biker Queen] Hey.
Where the hell are you going, motherfucker?
[groaning]
Come on, little guy.
[Lightning in Spanish]
Last stop, shitbag.
[screaming]
[Hobo] Don't taste so good.
- [belching] - [cackling]
- Double-crossing sleazebag. - Listen. No, no, no.
You don't fucking understand. I wasn't trying to screw you.
- Shut up. They'll hear you. - [Slasher] Jesus.
- [woman] God. - Jesus.
All right, listen. Listen, I... I...
Listen, would you stop fucking hitting me?
I'm not fucking with you, OK? I just didn't know how to tell you this before.
- I do not have enough cars. - Be quiet! Shh!
I don't have enough cars for everyone, OK?
But, listen, I'm telling you, if we stay...
Be quiet! Shut up.
- Listen. Listen. No, no, no. We can do this, OK? - [Tat Girl] Shh!
If we stick together. All we gotta do is stick together, OK?
Fuck your boss. I can't stand that bitch.
But you, you and me, if we stick together,
if we stick together...
...together... [shrikes] Together!
Oh, no! Somebody!
- [thudding] - [screaming]
[grunting]
- [howling] - [screaming]
[stomach gurgling]
- [disgusted groan] - [high-pitched screaming]
Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Ohh!
[Secrets grunting]
[Bartender] Hurry up and open the safe, pipehead, and let's get the fuck out of here.
[coughing]
[grunting]
[Greg] Oh, God. Oh, God.
OK.
Oh, yeah.
You will remember.
[grunts]
Visualize.
OK, OK.
[Secrets] Visualize.
OK.
[grunting]
[growling]
[gunshots]
[grunting]
[Biker Queen] Let's go.
- [creaking] - [panting]
[Hobo grunts]
Ow! My leg!
[grunting] Ow! Ow!
- What is this thing? - This is my house. And you're trespassing.
- Meth lab. - We're buried. We're safe down here.
- [banging] - Safe, my ass.
[beasts growling]
-[girl screaming] - Let's get the hell out of here.
- [screaming continues] - [engine sputtering]
[gunshots]
Come on, let's go!
[yelling]
[clamoring]
- [snarling] - [Hobo] Goddamn it.
[engine starts]
[Hobo] Come on, let's get the hell out of here!
- [insane shouting] - What the fuck are you doing?
I'm glad that still works.
Get out of there.
Just a sec. Ahh!
[sobbing] Help!
[beasts roaring]
[whimpering]
Come on!
[girl screaming]
Don't let me die!
Help! Help!
Fuck you!
[screaming]
[gears grinding]
Hey.
Wait a minute. Wait!
- Wait. - [Secrets] Wait for us.
Hey. Wait. Hey.
- [Bartender] Wait a minute, lady! - [Secrets] No!
Hey!
[grunts]
[engine rattling]
[grunts]
[groans]
Fuck.
[groaning]
[both groaning]
[beasts snarling]
- [roaring] - [high-pitched whining]
[man] Be gone, foul beasts. Begone.
Back, I say. Back, demon.
Back.
Get back.
Back. Back.
Back.
Begone.
A-ha! Ha!
I did it again.
Come out, wee one.
Don't be afraid.
- Who are you? - Stand back and be amazed.
[Greg]
Yes, I am he. The Prophet.
I got the gift, faggots. Ha-ha.
I control the monsters.
I wish them to leave and they leave.
You must go underground through the sewers.
The way to the big city.
You want us to take these fucking storm drains
all the way back to the big city?
Don't talk to the Prophet that way.
Bitch, I will fuck you up.
[Bartender] Hey, hey, hey, dipshit.
Listen, this guy just saved our asses, OK?
If he says take the storm drain,
we better sure as shit take the storm drain.
Be cool. Let's play this thing out.
[Prophet] Come, we must act quickly.
I'll bring up the rear.
[grunts]
[groans]
[grunts]
[curses in Spanish]
[farts]
[groans]
[in Spanish]
What the fuck was that, old man?
Shut the fuck up, you dimwitted cunt.
We can slow down.
I feel the monsters' presence dissipating.
You saved our ass, Moses.
We're much obliged.
I can't see nothing down here.
You OK, sweetie?
We're not alone.
[high-pitched whining]
[Biker Queen] You hear that?
- No, I hear it too. - [Biker Queen] Hold up.
What?
It's your head. Coming from your head.
Get off me. Get off me.
Ringing like a fucking tea kettle. You're gonna give us away.
I have it turned up so I can hear better.
- [whining stops] - Is that better?
- Holy fucking shit. - [beasts growling]
Oh, shit.
- They're tracking us. - Language, please.
- [snarling] - [shouting]
Oh, boy.
Yeah, yeah.
Watch it.
- [Secrets] Which way do we go? - I don't know.
Ask Jesus back there.
Hold on. I gotta feel this one.
We're clear.
- Come on, let's go. - Get out of my way.
- [Bartender] What? - Get out of my way.
[grunting]
[Biker Queen] Slide under. Go.
I got it.
[Bartender] This is heavy.
Wait, wait, wait.
[screams]
[groaning] It's the Puker!
[grunting] Blood makes it feel good.
[shrieking]
Goddamn it! Help her!
Help her, motherfucker!
[Lightning in Spanish]
[gasping]
[Biker Queen wailing]
No!
[sobbing]
[clanging]
[grunting]
[Bartender] Those motherfuckers are dead!
Oh, yeah!
Who are you?
A few days ago, I was my parents' son.
Two days ago, I was just another victim.
Yesterday, I was born again.
[cracks neck]
And today...
...I'm a wasteland warrior.
How can I die when I'm a registered lethal weapon?
[grunting]
Badass motherfucker. Ha! Karate.
Way to go, Merlin.
- My gift only works on monsters. - Sure it does.
Well, maybe if you hadn't have had me turn down my ears,
I could have at least heard them.
I've been tracking you guys for a little while.
I had to make sure you weren't infected.
I'm sorry for your loss.
She looked to be quite the fighter.
Save your sorry for someone else, macho.
We're looking for the right way to go. Will you help us?
Well, there's too many of us to run topside.
They're picking off survivors left and right.
It's not for that. I've been using it to see.
Baking soda, peroxide and pop.
That manhole up there, we ought to close it.
- We don't want nobody coming down here. - [Jean-Claude] Good thinking.
- Yeah. - I got it, Pops.
[sobbing]
You must be a military man.
Oh, yeah. Marines?
Yup.
Intuition like that only comes from battle experience.
[Jean-Claude screaming]
Fuck! Ahh!
[Bartender] Get up. Lift him up.
[clamoring]
[in Spanish]
[Jean-Claude screaming]
- [high-pitched whining] - Back, demon.
Foul beast, I command you.
Back. Back, I say.
Back. Back.
[groaning]
Let's go, man.
We'll catch up with your little friends.
The doc will put your arm back.
It's useless. Forget it.
Wait. Wait.
[grunting]
Easy, easy, easy.
Easy, easy.
[grunting]
In the backpack,
the bottles.
Grab another bottle. We can't go in the dark.
Yeah?
Wait.
Hold this.
Hold it.
Hold your goddamn hand out.
[Jean-Claud] Hurry up.
Throw it.
We got to find a way out of here...
...fast.
[Biker Queen] Dumbshit!
You threw him to the beast.
[beast growling]
[in Spanish]
We're getting closer to rejoining your friends, my little one.
[growling]
[beast growling]
What was that?
I don't reckon we're alone here, partner.
You in any shape to fight, son?
I just got my arm bitten off.
Yeah, well, you better walk it off.
One of them suckers are in here with us right now.
[yelling]
Motherfucker, die!
[Jean-Claud screaming]
Come on, come on, come on, come on.
Stay with me! Stay with me, sonny boy!
Stay with me!
[Jean-Claud groaning]
I'm not gonna make it.
You gotta keep fighting, son.
[groaning]
- I'm with you. - [grunting]
[groaning, panting]
[grunting]
[techno music plays]
[Secrets grunting]
[clanging]
- [punch lands] - [man grunts]
[Biker Queen laughs]
[Prophet] Ow, that really hurt.
[in Spanish]
Ow!
- [metal clanking] - [grunting]
Piece of shit.
[grunts]
- [rat squeaking] - [screaming]
Oh, shit! Oh, shit!
Oh, fuck!
[screaming]
[rats squealing]
[grunting]
Take it easy. Come on, take it easy. You're OK.
Yeah, speak for yourself.
[pained grunting] Shit.
[Bartender] We gotta stop that bleeding.
It's too fucking dark in here. I can't see.
Lean over, lean over. I got an idea.
You're a smart hombre.
This is going to sting just a little bit.
[screams] Mother of Mary. God.
I got a bullet from a hunting trip here, son.
You're not doing what I think you're doing.
Well, we gotta close that wound, son.
What?
We gotta... Somehow we gotta pour it in deep here.
- [nervous panting] - Real deep.
[groans]
That's a lot, dude.
Hey, listen, this is battlefield surgery, son.
It's very delicate.
I mean, you're the fucking patient, I'm the goddamn doctor.
Just let me do my fucking thing, will you?
One more, that's all.
All right, now, I need a match.
I got one, I got one.
- Did you learn this in the marines? - No.
- Rambo III. - What?
[Jean-Claude screaming]
- Oh, my God! - Oh, fuck!
Whoa, what the fuck?
What the fuck?
[techno music continues]
[speaks Spanish]
Greg, he's not a baby.
He's not the baby, Greg.
- Greg, stop it. - [Lightning]
[speaks Spanish]
We gotta keep moving, son.
I look like a goddamn foosball player.
I know it looks bad right now, son.
Yeah, it looks real bad, all right?
Why don't you just chew off my dick?
We'll call it a day.
Look, you keep fighting until the end.
You suck it up and you fight.
[beasts growling]
[Biker Queen] Stay with me, fuckers.
Who knows what the fuck is out there.
[Puker Girl] I like your skin.
So soft. So colorful.
- [Biker Queen] Get back! - I like it.
- Get fucking back! - Can I touch it?
I will fucking break your fucking cunt head!
- I wanna touch it. - Get back!
There's your power.
Where's your power, lady?
[screaming]
- You hear that? - [Jean-Claude] What?
What are you doing?
We go in hard, we go in fast, we'll kill them all.
What? How? I don't have any arms.
You only need legs to kick ass, baby boy.
- Kill them fucking baboons. - Shit.
[yelling]
- [grunting] - That's what you got me for!
[clamoring]
[Bartender uses war cry]
[Bartender] Yeah!
[multiple fighting sounds]
[Biker Queen grunting]
[Puker Girl screaming]
[Puker Girl grunting]
[Biker Queen straining]
[flesh tearing]
That's how you gut a bitch, bitch.
[Biker Queen yells]
- [groaning] - [high-pitched whining]
[Prophet] Back, demon. Back, I say.
That's right, demon.
[beast growling]
[all screaming]
[Greg groaning]
Ahh!
[beast howling]
[beast growling]
[grunting]
I said jump high, baby boy.
Now!
[Bartender yelling]
Goddamn freaks!
You shithead. Come on.
Let's get out of here.
[Bartender] Come on. They're coming. This way.
[Bartender] Check your ass, baby boy. They're coming.
Go to the ladder. The ladder.
Come on.
Come on, get up the goddamn ladder.
All right.
Fucking shit.
What do we do? What the fuck do we do?
[Jean-Claude] Come on, come on, come on. On my back.
Let's go, jump on. Get up there.
Come on, get up.
You guys wait here.
I'm fucked.
You can make it.
You can.
[Jean-Claude] Get up there.
[Bartender] Give me your hand.
Give me your hand. Come on, you can make it.
Help. Help me, woman.
Help me.
Up. Up. Up!
[beast growls]
Give me your hand.
Come on, give me your hand.
[Jean-Claude making fighting grunts]
[Prophet] Oh, my God.
[all groaning, panting]
[Bartender coughing]
[Secrets] Dead end.
What the fuck do we do now?
Open it.
[grunting]
[Bartender] Oh, shit.
[beast growling]
I got this.
I'm about to dazzle the shit out of you.
[high-pitched whining] Back, demon. Back, I say.
That's right, demon. Back. Back.
[hearing aid beeping]
- Get back, demon. - Oh, shit.
- [high-pitched whining] - Back, demon.
- Back. - [squeals in pain]
Feel my power. Back.
Dumb shit. It's your hearing aid that's keeping him back, not you.
What?
Oh, shit!
- [Prophet screaming] - [Bartender] Lift it. Lift it.
[flesh tearing]
[Lightning]
[grunts]
- [Gary] I'm stuck. - [Bartender] The pipe is stuck.
[Bartender] Pull it.
[howls]
[Bartender] The pipe, pull it through.
[Secrets] Slasher?
[Secrets] Oh, no.
[Gary grunting]
No!
[Secrets screaming]
[growls]
[yelling]
[Secrets howling]
[beast squealing]
[Bartender] That's it.
[all grunting and howling]
Hit that mother! Hit that mother!
[screaming]
[sobs]
[screams]
[all groaning, panting]
Fucking dirt bike.
- Oh! - Whoa!
I'm already dead.
You won't get far.
I'll take him away as far as I can.
[mouths] Thank you.
[high-pitched squealing]
[grunting]
[Bartender groans] Shit.
We're the only ones left.
The world has gone to hell.
We have to...
We gotta do something.
I'll tell you what we gotta do.
We gotta repopulate the Earth, that's what we gotta do.
We gotta start fucking. Right now.
[creaking]
[Bartender yells]
[singing in Spanish]
[wind whistling]
[panting]
Goddamn it.